Effing cancer is an effing effer, frankly
Discussion
Thanks all
For the first time in my working life I’ve spoken to the doctor and taken a sick note. I can’t sleep and until the results come in I just want to focus on my wife and son.
My wife is on the cusp of the menopause and The specialist referred to oestrogen and that they weare waiting test results on that
Telling my son was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Not sure I did a great job as I fell apart when he broke down. I tried my best though
Thanks again all
For the first time in my working life I’ve spoken to the doctor and taken a sick note. I can’t sleep and until the results come in I just want to focus on my wife and son.
My wife is on the cusp of the menopause and The specialist referred to oestrogen and that they weare waiting test results on that
Telling my son was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Not sure I did a great job as I fell apart when he broke down. I tried my best though
Thanks again all
CAH706 said:
Hospital appointment was yesterday. They confirmed the cancer in the breast and that it has spread to the lymph nodes. Consultant described it as a large lump (over 5cm) and aggressive
They are doing a CAT and MRI on Friday toSee if it has spread further and we will find out the results from these the following Thursday
They did say that they would start chemotherapy shortly with an operation possibly down the line. Both my wife and I struggled to remember why they said that they wouldn’t do the op now - think it was due to the size or radiotherapy.
I’ve never really struggled with low mood before but the stress of waiting to know the position, seeing my wife upset and telling my 11 year old the situation has really knocked me. I’m not sleeping well and generally just feel ‘down’. I’d guess that is to be expected given the situation with my partner of 30 years
Work are not being very sympathetic. I’ve used holidays to take time out to get through the current test period but they are pushing for my return.
My mum had breast cancer 12 years ago. Got identified as part of the routine checkups.They are doing a CAT and MRI on Friday toSee if it has spread further and we will find out the results from these the following Thursday
They did say that they would start chemotherapy shortly with an operation possibly down the line. Both my wife and I struggled to remember why they said that they wouldn’t do the op now - think it was due to the size or radiotherapy.
I’ve never really struggled with low mood before but the stress of waiting to know the position, seeing my wife upset and telling my 11 year old the situation has really knocked me. I’m not sleeping well and generally just feel ‘down’. I’d guess that is to be expected given the situation with my partner of 30 years
Work are not being very sympathetic. I’ve used holidays to take time out to get through the current test period but they are pushing for my return.
She had private healthcare but one of my dads clients, a consultant who worked at the local NHS hospital and private hospitals advised that NHS was the way to go.
The NHS are well set up for this and operate quickly. It was just a matter of 4 weeks from the first result of ‘something had come up from the routine screening’ to having the masectomy.
The other thing we were advised was that the NHS would not pay for medication if you went private and after your private healthcare provider stops paying.
Hope things work out well.
Shocked to hear about your employer’s attitude.
When my mum had been diagnosed I had just walked out of a job (in banking in 2008 during the crisis) and didn’t have a job to go to. Fortunately I was getting interviews and managed to get an offer but deferred the start date for a number of weeks so that I could be there for my mum. I’m glad I had that time out and I think it is important that you try and do the same.
Your wife will be weak and emotional so whatever you and your son can do to help your wife will be beneficial.
Might be worth getting advice from Citizens Advice Bureau or trying tour home insurance legal helpline or possibly someone on here can probably advise.
Thanks both for the replies. Apologies for not replying sooner.
Fat Hippo - I hope your mum is OK now
We’ve had the CAT and MRI tests and the good news is that the cancer has not spread from the breast and armpit area. They flagged a couple of other possible lumps in both breasts but they said they thought it could be cured.... this has been a relief though I suspect the next 12 months will be a difficult time
Next step is the start of chemo which should be within the next 2 weeks and will last for up to 6 months. Hopefully the next check (c. 2 months into the chemo) will show the cancer shrinking.
Thanks again everyone for taking the time to reply and the kind words.
I’m trying to get back to some sort of normal routine but my sleep is terrible and I have zero energy. I’m really up and down mood wise. Some days I’m fine and other days I’m emotional, bad tempered (I hate this the worst as I know I’m doing it but can’t snap out of it) and generally low. I’m exercising a lot as that does lift the mood a little.
Fat Hippo - I hope your mum is OK now
We’ve had the CAT and MRI tests and the good news is that the cancer has not spread from the breast and armpit area. They flagged a couple of other possible lumps in both breasts but they said they thought it could be cured.... this has been a relief though I suspect the next 12 months will be a difficult time
Next step is the start of chemo which should be within the next 2 weeks and will last for up to 6 months. Hopefully the next check (c. 2 months into the chemo) will show the cancer shrinking.
Thanks again everyone for taking the time to reply and the kind words.
I’m trying to get back to some sort of normal routine but my sleep is terrible and I have zero energy. I’m really up and down mood wise. Some days I’m fine and other days I’m emotional, bad tempered (I hate this the worst as I know I’m doing it but can’t snap out of it) and generally low. I’m exercising a lot as that does lift the mood a little.
Glad to hear that the cancer would appear to be confined to the breast and lymph nodes and they are taking the curative route. Hopefully the chemo will shrink the tumour thus reducing the extent of surgery.
I'll be keeping fingers crossed for you and your family!
PS: the next issue for your wife will be ice-cap to try and preserve her hair or no ice-cap. My wife chose the ice cap which added at least 2hrs to every chemo session not to mention the discomfort. Results were mixed - she kept quite a bit of hair but it was not good quality and the new growth came through all curly! We're now 9 months post chemo and her hair is just showing signs of returning to normality. She wouldn't bother again (God forbid that we ever have to go through that again)
I'll be keeping fingers crossed for you and your family!
PS: the next issue for your wife will be ice-cap to try and preserve her hair or no ice-cap. My wife chose the ice cap which added at least 2hrs to every chemo session not to mention the discomfort. Results were mixed - she kept quite a bit of hair but it was not good quality and the new growth came through all curly! We're now 9 months post chemo and her hair is just showing signs of returning to normality. She wouldn't bother again (God forbid that we ever have to go through that again)
My other halfs nan is now on end of life care. She has had a fluid build up (im not sure where).
They believe it's going to be a matter of days.
She can't go and visit due to COVID and they are only allowing one person a day which has been her husband and son (girlfriends dad) has been once.
She's taking it really hard. Any advice on what I can do to help would be great! I'm s
t with this type of thing (I'm almost certainly autistic!).
Her aunt has been given the all clear though which is fantastic news. Got to have check ups every now and then and has to keep the bag for now. She's back at work for a few hours a day as well which she's over the moon about.
They believe it's going to be a matter of days.
She can't go and visit due to COVID and they are only allowing one person a day which has been her husband and son (girlfriends dad) has been once.
She's taking it really hard. Any advice on what I can do to help would be great! I'm s
t with this type of thing (I'm almost certainly autistic!). Her aunt has been given the all clear though which is fantastic news. Got to have check ups every now and then and has to keep the bag for now. She's back at work for a few hours a day as well which she's over the moon about.
LosingGrip: certainly it is very sad when anyone, regardless of their age, goes into end of life care. Your partner must have some very strong and good memories of her nan, and that's what she can focus on. Cancer takes too many lives, and her nan, no doubt, had a very good life. Not being able to visit must be difficult. Just be there for her.
My eldest brother (56) told me last week he'd been having tests for prostate cancer. He's been waiting for some weeks (mid-west USA) for the results. He got the biopsy results yesterday - positive.
Obviously he's in shock at the news, although he has had 3 other (skin) cancers in the past, and I talked to him about the high survival rates seen when caught early. I was surprised at the treatment options the oncologist spoke about, but I didn't say anything to my brother:
1. Removal of the prostate, and, hopefully, the cells too;
2. An injection to effectively wipe out testosterone and then insert radioactive pellets in to the prostate to knock the cancer out;
I haven't yet researched this, but they both seem very drastic, heavy measures to me.
The toughest part is that I can't give him a hug, being thousands of miles away.
My eldest brother (56) told me last week he'd been having tests for prostate cancer. He's been waiting for some weeks (mid-west USA) for the results. He got the biopsy results yesterday - positive.
Obviously he's in shock at the news, although he has had 3 other (skin) cancers in the past, and I talked to him about the high survival rates seen when caught early. I was surprised at the treatment options the oncologist spoke about, but I didn't say anything to my brother:
1. Removal of the prostate, and, hopefully, the cells too;
2. An injection to effectively wipe out testosterone and then insert radioactive pellets in to the prostate to knock the cancer out;
I haven't yet researched this, but they both seem very drastic, heavy measures to me.
The toughest part is that I can't give him a hug, being thousands of miles away.
bodgerben said:
I’ve just seen and read part of this thread, so thought I’d get in with a fk you cancer or two.
In fact, I’m going to say it again, fk you cancer you piece of st, come and have a go if you think you’re fking hard enough.
I had the first bout of Hodgkin lymphoma when I was fifteen, being a little st who was always up to no good, the lump in my neck stuck out past my ear, I put it down to getting a bit of a pasting for being a little st, as normal. So when I finally went into hospital to get the huge cyst removed, the surgeon found a load of little lumps around my collar bone, I woke up bandaged in a different place to where I expected, so I was a little st again. Anyway, that turned out to be Hodgkins, and back then they whipped the spleen out, on my 16 birthday, pulled out all the guts and felt them for more lumps, there was none. Treatment was radiotherapy only. I fked you up cancer you st.
The next year my kidneys packed up, apparently a side effect of the massive radiotherapy treatment. Six months in hospital, three in St Heliers renal unit, that was an arse. Still, fk you cancer you didn’t get a look in. I left hospital unable to walk up a single step.
A few years later the second bout of Hodgkins Lymphoma arrived, the little st cancer was back, fk you. This time in it was in my armpits, loads of lumpy lymph nodes. Two years of chemo and six weeks of radiotherapy gave cancer a good hiding, fk you.
A few years later, the fker tried a different approach, Thyroid cancer, the fker. That was caught early and surgery only for that short stint, cancer you fker, you gave up early on that one. Still fked up my thyroid and parathyroids, so have hypothyroidism and hypoparathyroidism now, you cancer.
A fair few years later (notice a theme here) whilst getting middle aged and fat, most of that beer belly was a 5kg sarcoma tumour, hiding in amongst the colon, so bits of that shortened, the little fker cancer (in this case, not so little, under left ribs to right hip) had turned into a big fker cancer, albeit a low grade sarcoma that the Royal Marsden’s sarcoma unit sorted out for me. Yeah, fk you cancer.
Last year I had a heart attack, heart disease caused my radiotherapy, so the fker cancer tried a different route. Stent fitted to right coronary artery, right at the top large section. Just as I was leaving hospital the surgeon said, you’ve got a heart murmur. The echocardiogram guy said, most people have a small murmur, it’ll be fine. Yeah sure, aortic stenosis, low flow low gradient, 8mm sq, opening, and a leaky mitral valve. Unlikely to perform open heart surgery because of all the scar tissue from all the radiotherapy, fk you cancer for being a st. On the bright side, when the valve gets a bit smaller, I may get an insert fitted, but they don’t last very long, so fk you cancer again.
And just at the start of lockdown, fk me, I’ve got a lump in my man boob. The st cancer has tried a different approach, the little fker. I see the breast cancer surgeon tomorrow as with shielding finished, she says it’s okay to lop off my left tit. She’s not going to lop it off tomorrow, she’s going to tell me when she’s going to lop it off, and if it’s worth lopping both tits off as this fker cancer doesn’t fking give up quickly, the fker.
So yeah, I agree with this thread, fk you cancer you .
k you cancer or two.In fact, I’m going to say it again, f
k you cancer you piece of st, come and have a go if you think you’re fking hard enough.I had the first bout of Hodgkin lymphoma when I was fifteen, being a little s
t who was always up to no good, the lump in my neck stuck out past my ear, I put it down to getting a bit of a pasting for being a little st, as normal. So when I finally went into hospital to get the huge cyst removed, the surgeon found a load of little lumps around my collar bone, I woke up bandaged in a different place to where I expected, so I was a little st again. Anyway, that turned out to be Hodgkins, and back then they whipped the spleen out, on my 16 birthday, pulled out all the guts and felt them for more lumps, there was none. Treatment was radiotherapy only. I fked you up cancer you st.The next year my kidneys packed up, apparently a side effect of the massive radiotherapy treatment. Six months in hospital, three in St Heliers renal unit, that was an arse. Still, f
k you cancer you didn’t get a look in. I left hospital unable to walk up a single step.A few years later the second bout of Hodgkins Lymphoma arrived, the little s
t cancer was back, fk you. This time in it was in my armpits, loads of lumpy lymph nodes. Two years of chemo and six weeks of radiotherapy gave cancer a good hiding, fk you.A few years later, the f
ker tried a different approach, Thyroid cancer, the fker. That was caught early and surgery only for that short stint, cancer you fker, you gave up early on that one. Still fked up my thyroid and parathyroids, so have hypothyroidism and hypoparathyroidism now, you cancer.A fair few years later (notice a theme here) whilst getting middle aged and fat, most of that beer belly was a 5kg sarcoma tumour, hiding in amongst the colon, so bits of that shortened, the little f
ker cancer (in this case, not so little, under left ribs to right hip) had turned into a big fker cancer, albeit a low grade sarcoma that the Royal Marsden’s sarcoma unit sorted out for me. Yeah, fk you cancer.Last year I had a heart attack, heart disease caused my radiotherapy, so the f
ker cancer tried a different route. Stent fitted to right coronary artery, right at the top large section. Just as I was leaving hospital the surgeon said, you’ve got a heart murmur. The echocardiogram guy said, most people have a small murmur, it’ll be fine. Yeah sure, aortic stenosis, low flow low gradient, 8mm sq, opening, and a leaky mitral valve. Unlikely to perform open heart surgery because of all the scar tissue from all the radiotherapy, fk you cancer for being a st. On the bright side, when the valve gets a bit smaller, I may get an insert fitted, but they don’t last very long, so fk you cancer again.And just at the start of lockdown, f
k me, I’ve got a lump in my man boob. The st cancer has tried a different approach, the little fker. I see the breast cancer surgeon tomorrow as with shielding finished, she says it’s okay to lop off my left tit. She’s not going to lop it off tomorrow, she’s going to tell me when she’s going to lop it off, and if it’s worth lopping both tits off as this fker cancer doesn’t fking give up quickly, the fker.So yeah, I agree with this thread, f
k you cancer you .
Good to hear you're b
h slapping that known as cancer 
As the OP of this thread, which I started really as a bit of a cathartic rant, I’m pretty conflicted about it. On the one hand, it’s great to see some good news occasionally, or even just people being able to vent like I did at the beginning. The down side is that there are still so many people being affected by cancer, either personally, or a close family member or friend.
I guess on balance, I still regard the thread as net positive. I obviously still think my Wing’d Horse of Chav-Tat thread is the BEST THREAD EVER, but I’m pretty proud of this one as well, if I’m honest.
A few of you will no doubt know I had a bad motorbike accident back in 2017 and I’ve still got some more reconstruction surgery to go through to fix my damaged leg. A lot of people have commented how positive I’ve been throughout the process, but to be honest, it’s just a broken leg. I’m utterly humbled by some of the posts on here. I realise how lucky I’ve been/I am in the grand scheme of things and it makes me realise just how great the NHS usually is, most of the time.
When I was initially in hospital right after the accident, I was chatting to one of the student nurses on the Major Trauma Unit about where she was going once she’d qualified. She had decided to go and work in a hospice, which I thought was a strange choice, but she explained that it was the most satisfying of all her work placements and she got so much from caring not just for the patients, but their friends and families as well. She was about 21, but like all the other student nurses I met, I was completely blown away by their maturity, enthusiasm and compassion. I couldn’t have managed what they did at that age - I’m not sure I could even now.
Anyway, fk you, cancer, you fking cumjuggling thunder.
I guess on balance, I still regard the thread as net positive. I obviously still think my Wing’d Horse of Chav-Tat thread is the BEST THREAD EVER, but I’m pretty proud of this one as well, if I’m honest.
A few of you will no doubt know I had a bad motorbike accident back in 2017 and I’ve still got some more reconstruction surgery to go through to fix my damaged leg. A lot of people have commented how positive I’ve been throughout the process, but to be honest, it’s just a broken leg. I’m utterly humbled by some of the posts on here. I realise how lucky I’ve been/I am in the grand scheme of things and it makes me realise just how great the NHS usually is, most of the time.
When I was initially in hospital right after the accident, I was chatting to one of the student nurses on the Major Trauma Unit about where she was going once she’d qualified. She had decided to go and work in a hospice, which I thought was a strange choice, but she explained that it was the most satisfying of all her work placements and she got so much from caring not just for the patients, but their friends and families as well. She was about 21, but like all the other student nurses I met, I was completely blown away by their maturity, enthusiasm and compassion. I couldn’t have managed what they did at that age - I’m not sure I could even now.
Anyway, f
k you, cancer, you fking cumjuggling thunder.My scare earlier in the year resolved itself, thankfully.
Briefly, I had a recurring bladder infection that when dip tested showed traces of blood . High strength antibiotics and further tests that still showed blood
My GP requested a two week referal and sent me for CT scan .
At the meeting a few days later with a consultant I was informed that they were concerned as to what the CT scan had shown. Could be blood clots or could be tumours. I was quickly booked in to have a camera inserted in my bladder . Unfortunately the attempt with the camera failed as I had a stricture in my urethra and would need an operation to remove the stricture and inspect my bladder . This was quickly arranged and a date was given back then in March. The speed that events were happening obviously gave some concern . Another CT scan was done and a round of blood tests then 24 hrs before I was due for admission everything got shut down. I had a call from my consultant and was told that the latest CT scan was clear and they didn't want to put me at risk with Covid , but I would need to have the stricture sorted out sooner rather than later .
Something of a relief at the time .
Fast forward to July and I had the strictures sorted out ( yes more than one ) and given the all clear on my bladder. A huge relief for me, I have enough with Atrial fibrillation, osteoarthritis and sleep apnea which give all sorts of complications with anesthesia and hospital stays .
I was lucky and truly feel for anyone going through any sort of cancer treatment
Briefly, I had a recurring bladder infection that when dip tested showed traces of blood . High strength antibiotics and further tests that still showed blood
My GP requested a two week referal and sent me for CT scan .
At the meeting a few days later with a consultant I was informed that they were concerned as to what the CT scan had shown. Could be blood clots or could be tumours. I was quickly booked in to have a camera inserted in my bladder . Unfortunately the attempt with the camera failed as I had a stricture in my urethra and would need an operation to remove the stricture and inspect my bladder . This was quickly arranged and a date was given back then in March. The speed that events were happening obviously gave some concern . Another CT scan was done and a round of blood tests then 24 hrs before I was due for admission everything got shut down. I had a call from my consultant and was told that the latest CT scan was clear and they didn't want to put me at risk with Covid , but I would need to have the stricture sorted out sooner rather than later .
Something of a relief at the time .
Fast forward to July and I had the strictures sorted out ( yes more than one ) and given the all clear on my bladder. A huge relief for me, I have enough with Atrial fibrillation, osteoarthritis and sleep apnea which give all sorts of complications with anesthesia and hospital stays .
I was lucky and truly feel for anyone going through any sort of cancer treatment
Dibble said:
As the OP of this thread, which I started really as a bit of a cathartic rant, I’m pretty conflicted about it. On the one hand, it’s great to see some good news occasionally, or even just people being able to vent like I did at the beginning. The down side is that there are still so many people being affected by cancer, either personally, or a close family member or friend.
I guess on balance, I still regard the thread as net positive. I obviously still think my Wing’d Horse of Chav-Tat thread is the BEST THREAD EVER, but I’m pretty proud of this one as well, if I’m honest.
A few of you will no doubt know I had a bad motorbike accident back in 2017 and I’ve still got some more reconstruction surgery to go through to fix my damaged leg. A lot of people have commented how positive I’ve been throughout the process, but to be honest, it’s just a broken leg. I’m utterly humbled by some of the posts on here. I realise how lucky I’ve been/I am in the grand scheme of things and it makes me realise just how great the NHS usually is, most of the time.
When I was initially in hospital right after the accident, I was chatting to one of the student nurses on the Major Trauma Unit about where she was going once she’d qualified. She had decided to go and work in a hospice, which I thought was a strange choice, but she explained that it was the most satisfying of all her work placements and she got so much from caring not just for the patients, but their friends and families as well. She was about 21, but like all the other student nurses I met, I was completely blown away by their maturity, enthusiasm and compassion. I couldn’t have managed what they did at that age - I’m not sure I could even now.
Anyway, fk you, cancer, you fking cumjuggling thunder.
Did you get her phone number? Not for me you understand, asking for a friend I guess on balance, I still regard the thread as net positive. I obviously still think my Wing’d Horse of Chav-Tat thread is the BEST THREAD EVER, but I’m pretty proud of this one as well, if I’m honest.
A few of you will no doubt know I had a bad motorbike accident back in 2017 and I’ve still got some more reconstruction surgery to go through to fix my damaged leg. A lot of people have commented how positive I’ve been throughout the process, but to be honest, it’s just a broken leg. I’m utterly humbled by some of the posts on here. I realise how lucky I’ve been/I am in the grand scheme of things and it makes me realise just how great the NHS usually is, most of the time.
When I was initially in hospital right after the accident, I was chatting to one of the student nurses on the Major Trauma Unit about where she was going once she’d qualified. She had decided to go and work in a hospice, which I thought was a strange choice, but she explained that it was the most satisfying of all her work placements and she got so much from caring not just for the patients, but their friends and families as well. She was about 21, but like all the other student nurses I met, I was completely blown away by their maturity, enthusiasm and compassion. I couldn’t have managed what they did at that age - I’m not sure I could even now.
Anyway, f
k you, cancer, you fking cumjuggling thunder.
And cancer can go take a flying f
k at a deceased donkeys decomposing ringpiece!My girlfriends family had arranged to go and see her nan at the weekend. She wanted the family together for one last time.
Sadly she had to go back to the hospice a few days ago and she took a turn for the worse.
She died this morning at 530. Her son (girlfriends dad) was there when she died.
There is one good thing that has come from it...her dads sister is talking to the family again after a falling out ten years ago. She cut herself off from everyone, but get along great now which is lovely.
Sadly she had to go back to the hospice a few days ago and she took a turn for the worse.
She died this morning at 530. Her son (girlfriends dad) was there when she died.
There is one good thing that has come from it...her dads sister is talking to the family again after a falling out ten years ago. She cut herself off from everyone, but get along great now which is lovely.
CAH706 said:
Hospital appointment was yesterday. They confirmed the cancer in the breast and that it has spread to the lymph nodes. Consultant described it as a large lump (over 5cm) and aggressive
They are doing a CAT and MRI on Friday toSee if it has spread further and we will find out the results from these the following Thursday
They did say that they would start chemotherapy shortly with an operation possibly down the line. Both my wife and I struggled to remember why they said that they wouldn’t do the op now - think it was due to the size or radiotherapy.
I’ve never really struggled with low mood before but the stress of waiting to know the position, seeing my wife upset and telling my 11 year old the situation has really knocked me. I’m not sleeping well and generally just feel ‘down’. I’d guess that is to be expected given the situation with my partner of 30 years
Work are not being very sympathetic. I’ve used holidays to take time out to get through the current test period but they are pushing for my return.
Sounds very similar to my wife. Hers was 7cm, aggressive and had spread to her nodes but I still have her around and coming up to 8 years since she was diagnosed. They are doing a CAT and MRI on Friday toSee if it has spread further and we will find out the results from these the following Thursday
They did say that they would start chemotherapy shortly with an operation possibly down the line. Both my wife and I struggled to remember why they said that they wouldn’t do the op now - think it was due to the size or radiotherapy.
I’ve never really struggled with low mood before but the stress of waiting to know the position, seeing my wife upset and telling my 11 year old the situation has really knocked me. I’m not sleeping well and generally just feel ‘down’. I’d guess that is to be expected given the situation with my partner of 30 years
Work are not being very sympathetic. I’ve used holidays to take time out to get through the current test period but they are pushing for my return.
Sheets Tabuer said:
Friend of mine has had trouble making a fist, thought nothing of it until we nagged him to see the doc.
Tumour bigger than a tennis ball, been given 3 months
Sorry to pry but can you elaborate more on this please?Tumour bigger than a tennis ball, been given 3 months
My dad has suddenly lost the ability to close a fist due to pain in his hands, yet arthritis test results came back negative, so your post has struck a chord with me.
Edited by roadsmash on Thursday 3rd September 14:53
roadsmash said:
Sorry to pry but can you elaborate more on this please?
My dad has suddenly lost the ability to close a fist due to pain in his hands, yet arthritis test results came back negative, so your post has struck a cord with me.
I'm asking more detail for a similar reason.........My dad has suddenly lost the ability to close a fist due to pain in his hands, yet arthritis test results came back negative, so your post has struck a cord with me.
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