Effing cancer is an effing effer, frankly
Discussion
Polly Grigora said:
My love, I am broken and nobody but I can fix me
Now, this is where you're wrong. I've said before I'm as blokey-bloke as they come and during Mrs 22's treatment ran a business and family while appearing 'strong' (or at least functioning!) to the outside world. This thread helped me let my guard down.
I also unexpectedly found an oasis of calm at the Maggie's Centre in Oxford (it's for families as well as patients). I'm the last person that can imagine going to see someone for 'help' but a chance cup-of-tea waiting while my wife had a PET scan, turned into perhaps the most valuable piece of my jigsaw as a +1 to someone going through this. Most treatment was elsewhere, but when the journey took us back to Oxford, again it was a sanctuary to the chaos.
There is a brew waiting for you and they have branches all around the country and phone support, plus group sessions of people going through exactly what you sadly are. There are trained staff plus lovely volunteers. Mrs PG would be pleased I'm sure. Lots of other great charities and services if one doesn't quite suit.
Thank you Nemophilist also.
Hodgie said:
Hi Both,
I was having counselling before my diagnosis (as billflin stage one, surgery, adjuvant chemo and all clear to date).
I had meningitis in my early 20's and have struggled with anxiety and OCD ever since. Its a different scenario but to be honest the counselling was a life saver for me. I have continued with it and I believe it has helped a lot with the anxiety around the diagnosis. That said, I still have a lot of anxiety before the check ups, I don't think it would be natural not to.
The thing that is really affecting me is, like yourselves, every ache and pain I immediately fear is it being cancer. For example, at present I have a pain in my hip/groin on the opposite side to the surgery that I'm worrying about. I had an MRI in late December which was clear so logic says its unrelated, plus I've been going to the gym every weekday so its probably related to that. When I was first diagnosed I had really bad lower back ache and was convinced I was going to be told it was at an advanced stage however the CT Scan showed it had not spread.
I do have to remind myself fairly often that the odds are on my side but if it does come back the treatment wont be nice but I'll get through it.
My advice would be to try the counselling, I did find it took a while to have an effect but one day I realsied that there had been more good than bad days.
My thoughts are with everyone that have posted facing this and that have lost loved ones
Thanks so much for your post. I am exploring the options, but expect that I will try some counselling and see how it goes. It doesn't take long on this thread to (sadly) gain some perspective. I was having counselling before my diagnosis (as billflin stage one, surgery, adjuvant chemo and all clear to date).
I had meningitis in my early 20's and have struggled with anxiety and OCD ever since. Its a different scenario but to be honest the counselling was a life saver for me. I have continued with it and I believe it has helped a lot with the anxiety around the diagnosis. That said, I still have a lot of anxiety before the check ups, I don't think it would be natural not to.
The thing that is really affecting me is, like yourselves, every ache and pain I immediately fear is it being cancer. For example, at present I have a pain in my hip/groin on the opposite side to the surgery that I'm worrying about. I had an MRI in late December which was clear so logic says its unrelated, plus I've been going to the gym every weekday so its probably related to that. When I was first diagnosed I had really bad lower back ache and was convinced I was going to be told it was at an advanced stage however the CT Scan showed it had not spread.
I do have to remind myself fairly often that the odds are on my side but if it does come back the treatment wont be nice but I'll get through it.
My advice would be to try the counselling, I did find it took a while to have an effect but one day I realsied that there had been more good than bad days.
My thoughts are with everyone that have posted facing this and that have lost loved ones
22 said:
Now, this is where you're wrong.
I've said before I'm as blokey-bloke as they come and during Mrs 22's treatment ran a business and family while appearing 'strong' (or at least functioning!) to the outside world. This thread helped me let my guard down.
I also unexpectedly found an oasis of calm at the Maggie's Centre in Oxford (it's for families as well as patients). I'm the last person that can imagine going to see someone for 'help' but a chance cup-of-tea waiting while my wife had a PET scan, turned into perhaps the most valuable piece of my jigsaw as a +1 to someone going through this. Most treatment was elsewhere, but when the journey took us back to Oxford, again it was a sanctuary to the chaos.
There is a brew waiting for you and they have branches all around the country and phone support, plus group sessions of people going through exactly what you sadly are. There are trained staff plus lovely volunteers. Mrs PG would be pleased I'm sure. Lots of other great charities and services if one doesn't quite suit.
Thank you Nemophilist also.
This is great advice (as a matter of principle, even if you can't take advantage of the specific services). There are no downsides to exploring what help is available.I've said before I'm as blokey-bloke as they come and during Mrs 22's treatment ran a business and family while appearing 'strong' (or at least functioning!) to the outside world. This thread helped me let my guard down.
I also unexpectedly found an oasis of calm at the Maggie's Centre in Oxford (it's for families as well as patients). I'm the last person that can imagine going to see someone for 'help' but a chance cup-of-tea waiting while my wife had a PET scan, turned into perhaps the most valuable piece of my jigsaw as a +1 to someone going through this. Most treatment was elsewhere, but when the journey took us back to Oxford, again it was a sanctuary to the chaos.
There is a brew waiting for you and they have branches all around the country and phone support, plus group sessions of people going through exactly what you sadly are. There are trained staff plus lovely volunteers. Mrs PG would be pleased I'm sure. Lots of other great charities and services if one doesn't quite suit.
Thank you Nemophilist also.
Had my consultation today after having my Lymph node removed 2 weeks ago. I start my new Chemotherapy next week. It will be 2 rounds split over 2 weeks with a week off in the middle. Part of the treatment will involve a drug that will release stem cells from my bone marrow that can be taken from my blood. That will then be used for the stem cell treatment I will receive after my PET scan that will follow the latest Chemo session.
The stem cell treatment will involve a 3-4 week stay in hospital where they will modify my own stem cells and put them back in, I will be connected to a machine for a while during the days it seems where blood is removed, changed then put back in me all in one cycle.
I'm more worried about the hospital stay than the actual treatment
The stem cell treatment will involve a 3-4 week stay in hospital where they will modify my own stem cells and put them back in, I will be connected to a machine for a while during the days it seems where blood is removed, changed then put back in me all in one cycle.
I'm more worried about the hospital stay than the actual treatment
Mikey G said:
Had my consultation today after having my Lymph node removed 2 weeks ago. I start my new Chemotherapy next week. It will be 2 rounds split over 2 weeks with a week off in the middle. Part of the treatment will involve a drug that will release stem cells from my bone marrow that can be taken from my blood. That will then be used for the stem cell treatment I will receive after my PET scan that will follow the latest Chemo session.
The stem cell treatment will involve a 3-4 week stay in hospital where they will modify my own stem cells and put them back in, I will be connected to a machine for a while during the days it seems where blood is removed, changed then put back in me all in one cycle.
I'm more worried about the hospital stay than the actual treatment
Honestly buddy, its not as bad as you think. I had about 10 weeks in hospital over the last 4 months. I would suggest that you get your self a tablet with decent internet connection. Internet Wifi can be pretty bad. I can give you some advice if you need as most of this time was spent on a stem cell ward even though i was having chemo.The stem cell treatment will involve a 3-4 week stay in hospital where they will modify my own stem cells and put them back in, I will be connected to a machine for a while during the days it seems where blood is removed, changed then put back in me all in one cycle.
I'm more worried about the hospital stay than the actual treatment
As you are having stem cells you will have your own room and you will be advise not to leave. I've seen patients take in TV's and coffee machines. Fill a suitcase with alot of clothes, best to have more then less. The food can be pretty lousey. Depending on the hospital they can do alternative menus that have halal/kosher food. The quality is generally better on those menus.
I would recommend a kindle or even just the app on your phone, podcasts and audiobooks.
Get the Spotify app and browse some podcasts, there are some very good ones. Some of my favourites:
Parenting Hell - 2 comedians and guests share their experiences of parenting.
The Rest is History - 2 historians cover all aspects of history
The Rest is Politics - as above, but with politicians
Patented - history of invention of well known technology
We have ways of making g you talk - WW2 history with Al Murray and a historian
Joe Rogan - everything from martial arts to interviewing Elon Musk or Mike Tyson
The above alone cover hundreds of hours. You could listen to quality podcasts non stop for your entire stay!
Get the Spotify app and browse some podcasts, there are some very good ones. Some of my favourites:
Parenting Hell - 2 comedians and guests share their experiences of parenting.
The Rest is History - 2 historians cover all aspects of history
The Rest is Politics - as above, but with politicians
Patented - history of invention of well known technology
We have ways of making g you talk - WW2 history with Al Murray and a historian
Joe Rogan - everything from martial arts to interviewing Elon Musk or Mike Tyson
The above alone cover hundreds of hours. You could listen to quality podcasts non stop for your entire stay!
loafer123 said:
Undirection said:
So, the PET scan looks for active cells which indicate C. They showed up. I have to have a biopsy for final confirmation. I asked the doc what my chances would be if if it is C. He said there is a good chance it is curable as it only shows in one area (when it has spread it's a different matter).
I'd kept things to myself up to this point but brought my wife this time and told her I'd pretty much known but hadn't wanted to tell her or anyone. She was mad at me for doing that but was happy to be at this appt.
So, not dead yet and may even survive C. Glass half full.....
PS: This isn't my usual profile as I don't want anyone on here reading this and finding out. For now we're keeping this to ourselves.
Sounds like you have a plan and a doctor who is optimistic.I'd kept things to myself up to this point but brought my wife this time and told her I'd pretty much known but hadn't wanted to tell her or anyone. She was mad at me for doing that but was happy to be at this appt.
So, not dead yet and may even survive C. Glass half full.....
PS: This isn't my usual profile as I don't want anyone on here reading this and finding out. For now we're keeping this to ourselves.
Onward to victory!
So, went in for the biopsy on my lung. Despite being warned I could be in all day I went in, had the biopsy and then went home 30mins later, amazing.
A week later I went to see the consultant and, unusually, got a bit forgotten about in the hospital (only for 10 mins) and a nurse apologised and said she'd find someone. I thought it was a bit odd given the likelihood of the results giving me the 100% on it being C. Anyway they found a consultant and I went in knowing what he'd say.
Only he didn't. He said the biopsy showed an infection but nothing else!! Wow, I couldn't believe it for a minute. I'd 'known' it was C for so long and come to terms with it. He gave me a prescription to take and said I'd be ok with that and booked me in for a scan a month later.
Phew!!! Life changing/near death experience averted for now.
Anyway, just wanted to add a little bit of good news to this thread. Sometime there are good outcomes.
Undirection said:
loafer123 said:
Undirection said:
So, the PET scan looks for active cells which indicate C. They showed up. I have to have a biopsy for final confirmation. I asked the doc what my chances would be if if it is C. He said there is a good chance it is curable as it only shows in one area (when it has spread it's a different matter).
I'd kept things to myself up to this point but brought my wife this time and told her I'd pretty much known but hadn't wanted to tell her or anyone. She was mad at me for doing that but was happy to be at this appt.
So, not dead yet and may even survive C. Glass half full.....
PS: This isn't my usual profile as I don't want anyone on here reading this and finding out. For now we're keeping this to ourselves.
Sounds like you have a plan and a doctor who is optimistic.I'd kept things to myself up to this point but brought my wife this time and told her I'd pretty much known but hadn't wanted to tell her or anyone. She was mad at me for doing that but was happy to be at this appt.
So, not dead yet and may even survive C. Glass half full.....
PS: This isn't my usual profile as I don't want anyone on here reading this and finding out. For now we're keeping this to ourselves.
Onward to victory!
So, went in for the biopsy on my lung. Despite being warned I could be in all day I went in, had the biopsy and then went home 30mins later, amazing.
A week later I went to see the consultant and, unusually, got a bit forgotten about in the hospital (only for 10 mins) and a nurse apologised and said she'd find someone. I thought it was a bit odd given the likelihood of the results giving me the 100% on it being C. Anyway they found a consultant and I went in knowing what he'd say.
Only he didn't. He said the biopsy showed an infection but nothing else!! Wow, I couldn't believe it for a minute. I'd 'known' it was C for so long and come to terms with it. He gave me a prescription to take and said I'd be ok with that and booked me in for a scan a month later.
Phew!!! Life changing/near death experience averted for now.
Anyway, just wanted to add a little bit of good news to this thread. Sometime there are good outcomes.
There is certainly nothing wrong with a happy ending.
Undirection said:
Thought I should update this post (see P128).
So, went in for the biopsy on my lung. Despite being warned I could be in all day I went in, had the biopsy and then went home 30mins later, amazing.
A week later I went to see the consultant and, unusually, got a bit forgotten about in the hospital (only for 10 mins) and a nurse apologised and said she'd find someone. I thought it was a bit odd given the likelihood of the results giving me the 100% on it being C. Anyway they found a consultant and I went in knowing what he'd say.
Only he didn't. He said the biopsy showed an infection but nothing else!! Wow, I couldn't believe it for a minute. I'd 'known' it was C for so long and come to terms with it. He gave me a prescription to take and said I'd be ok with that and booked me in for a scan a month later.
Phew!!! Life changing/near death experience averted for now.
Anyway, just wanted to add a little bit of good news to this thread. Sometime there are good outcomes.
Nice one Un,good news is always welcome on this thread.So, went in for the biopsy on my lung. Despite being warned I could be in all day I went in, had the biopsy and then went home 30mins later, amazing.
A week later I went to see the consultant and, unusually, got a bit forgotten about in the hospital (only for 10 mins) and a nurse apologised and said she'd find someone. I thought it was a bit odd given the likelihood of the results giving me the 100% on it being C. Anyway they found a consultant and I went in knowing what he'd say.
Only he didn't. He said the biopsy showed an infection but nothing else!! Wow, I couldn't believe it for a minute. I'd 'known' it was C for so long and come to terms with it. He gave me a prescription to take and said I'd be ok with that and booked me in for a scan a month later.
Phew!!! Life changing/near death experience averted for now.
Anyway, just wanted to add a little bit of good news to this thread. Sometime there are good outcomes.
EVOTECH3BELL said:
After being ill since November, on Monday (my birthday) we got told my father has what they are classing as stage 4 pancreatic cancer. He's 63.
Secondary nodules pressing on the stomach and kidneys, multiple trips and A&E and months for an official diagnosis.
Feel like I've been grieving for him when he is still here.
Treatment doesn't look like it will have any positive outcome, discussions and decisions still to be made.
Hes back in hospital with a blockage into the bowelSecondary nodules pressing on the stomach and kidneys, multiple trips and A&E and months for an official diagnosis.
Feel like I've been grieving for him when he is still here.
Treatment doesn't look like it will have any positive outcome, discussions and decisions still to be made.
Got told yesterday that there is nothing they can do so it's a case of getting him home and spending the last few days/weeks with him as a family.
Watched him go from being active and healthy, gym 4 times a week to this in the space of 4 months.
Brutal
Sorry to hear that Evo, that’s incredibly unfair and such a short time left for him. Most of the people I know who have had cancer and died from it have been the last types you would imagine. Very much otherwise very fit, healthy eating and successful people and not the beer-swilling overweight takeaway-devouring types you might imagine. I am truly sorry for him, you and your family and hope his last days are peaceful x
Siko said:
Sorry to hear that Evo, that’s incredibly unfair and such a short time left for him. Most of the people I know who have had cancer and died from it have been the last types you would imagine. Very much otherwise very fit, healthy eating and successful people and not the beer-swilling overweight takeaway-devouring types you might imagine. I am truly sorry for him, you and your family and hope his last days are peaceful x
+1It almost seems as if healthier people tend to contract more aggressive cancers.
Good news/bad news in my world.
Sister in law diagnosed with a rare Leukemia that can be attributed to her breast cancer chemotherapy, but following a bone marrow transplant and 11 weeks in isolation she appears to be reacting well and allowed home last week just in time for her 60th.
Bad news, a friend has been given at best 12 months with treatment, 3-6 without from oesophageal cancer. Only married last year and just seemed to be getting his life on track. The strange thing about this one, 4 people have all had this cancer in the small village they live in, probably about 20-30 homes in the village.
Sister in law diagnosed with a rare Leukemia that can be attributed to her breast cancer chemotherapy, but following a bone marrow transplant and 11 weeks in isolation she appears to be reacting well and allowed home last week just in time for her 60th.
Bad news, a friend has been given at best 12 months with treatment, 3-6 without from oesophageal cancer. Only married last year and just seemed to be getting his life on track. The strange thing about this one, 4 people have all had this cancer in the small village they live in, probably about 20-30 homes in the village.
Killer2005 said:
Good news/bad news in my world.
Sister in law diagnosed with a rare Leukemia that can be attributed to her breast cancer chemotherapy, but following a bone marrow transplant and 11 weeks in isolation she appears to be reacting well and allowed home last week just in time for her 60th.
Bad news, a friend has been given at best 12 months with treatment, 3-6 without from oesophageal cancer. Only married last year and just seemed to be getting his life on track. The strange thing about this one, 4 people have all had this cancer in the small village they live in, probably about 20-30 homes in the village.
Good news with SIL but of course not the same for your Pal. Sister in law diagnosed with a rare Leukemia that can be attributed to her breast cancer chemotherapy, but following a bone marrow transplant and 11 weeks in isolation she appears to be reacting well and allowed home last week just in time for her 60th.
Bad news, a friend has been given at best 12 months with treatment, 3-6 without from oesophageal cancer. Only married last year and just seemed to be getting his life on track. The strange thing about this one, 4 people have all had this cancer in the small village they live in, probably about 20-30 homes in the village.
How old is he? Friend of mine is on the same course at just 52
Killer2005 said:
Good news/bad news in my world.
Sister in law diagnosed with a rare Leukemia that can be attributed to her breast cancer chemotherapy, but following a bone marrow transplant and 11 weeks in isolation she appears to be reacting well and allowed home last week just in time for her 60th.
Bad news, a friend has been given at best 12 months with treatment, 3-6 without from oesophageal cancer. Only married last year and just seemed to be getting his life on track. The strange thing about this one, 4 people have all had this cancer in the small village they live in, probably about 20-30 homes in the village.
Good news about the Sister in law. When i was going through my treatment i was told about the risk of secondary cancers, one of the main ones being the same one that i was treated for. When did she get treated for breast cancer?Sister in law diagnosed with a rare Leukemia that can be attributed to her breast cancer chemotherapy, but following a bone marrow transplant and 11 weeks in isolation she appears to be reacting well and allowed home last week just in time for her 60th.
Bad news, a friend has been given at best 12 months with treatment, 3-6 without from oesophageal cancer. Only married last year and just seemed to be getting his life on track. The strange thing about this one, 4 people have all had this cancer in the small village they live in, probably about 20-30 homes in the village.
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