Discussion
AMLK, it's good hear of progress. Transitions are very hard though and we have the same issue with friends with my youngest who is starting year 6 in September, including the likelihood that most if not all of her friends will wind up at private schools, and she won't. There are a few resources for transitioning - I think the curly hair project does the occasional webinar for example.
As for mine - my eldest is settling down and I know there will be extra educational resources put in place in the future. Her hair is growing back really well, though it's quite uneven (she'd pulled herself bald at the top and back of her head, in a sort of reverse mullet style Mohican) My youngest is just being put forward for assessment by the school, following observations done at the school. Her behaviour is still quite tough unfortunately, lots of meltdowns and blowouts. She is obsessed with making slime at the moment, which is clearly a sensory need, and is hitting puberty and putting on a lot of weight .
My OH went back to work a couple of months ago, after 11 months off, and I have struggled with childcare since my au pair moved to Germany for work - my replacement after school babysitter got a job at a local uni and both sets of parents have limited availability. I will hopefully have a new au pair for September - the last one worked wonders with the kids - the extra person in the house had a little bit of a calming effect on them both.
As for mine - my eldest is settling down and I know there will be extra educational resources put in place in the future. Her hair is growing back really well, though it's quite uneven (she'd pulled herself bald at the top and back of her head, in a sort of reverse mullet style Mohican) My youngest is just being put forward for assessment by the school, following observations done at the school. Her behaviour is still quite tough unfortunately, lots of meltdowns and blowouts. She is obsessed with making slime at the moment, which is clearly a sensory need, and is hitting puberty and putting on a lot of weight .
My OH went back to work a couple of months ago, after 11 months off, and I have struggled with childcare since my au pair moved to Germany for work - my replacement after school babysitter got a job at a local uni and both sets of parents have limited availability. I will hopefully have a new au pair for September - the last one worked wonders with the kids - the extra person in the house had a little bit of a calming effect on them both.
FlyingMeeces said:
I dropped down from 11 to 9.5 GCSEs amongst some muttering about how that was only for the kids with learning difficulties. Didn't get the Aspergers diagnosis until the year after I left school, worse luck. Spent the free periods in the 'learning support room' - a space with a teacher who'd help you with whatever you were working on and basically just help you concentrate and not get distracted and whatnot. It was a MASSIVE help - I ended up with a load of As and A*s and one B, having been headed for Bs and Cs when I was doing the full 11.
This is my plan with my eldest - she is due to pick her options next term. She is ok academically but tests show that whilst everything else is around average, her working memory is in the 25th percentile. Accordingly it's no surprise she struggles with exams in general and especially in subjects where memorisation of facts is key e.g. history. She does better in subjects where there are sets of rules to learn which you then need to know how to apply over and over again (e.g. maths). She is very good indeed in art and design. I don't think she should do more than 9 GCSEs or equivalent focusing on core subjects, art and ICT. Ultimately she needs to choose the subjects but I am not intending for her to load herself up with commitments.My primary aim is that she get to adulthood mentally and physically well (as much as can be), with the ability to work, support herself and have a pleasant, relatively trouble free life. I work with a lot of successful people who got into professions such as law and accountancy through the vocational route and think that, unless she chooses to do a degree for a specific reason, vocational qualifications are going to be a much better deal for her. She's told me a couple of times that she'd like to have a career where every day is the same and for example accountancy sorta fits the bill (as the work is predictable on an annual cycle).
superlightr said:
oldbanger said:
She is obsessed with making slime at the moment, which is clearly a sensory need, .
all of what you said is interesting. Ive highlighted the above as my daughter is doing the slime thing and baking cakes etc so yes a sensory need which is one angle to help her with.Another I may suggest if you all can face is is music. She had taken up the cello and its a deep core movement with the deep sound and again has helped her a lot. From that she is also making friends.
Anyway - little steps and little pointers as to what is helping this side of the woods.
chinup all.
In terms of music both kids have had piano lessons and the youngest has been learning guitar. Neither will practice at home, at all, and there's no point fighting that, but my eldest is really rather good at the piano.
Dancing and other rhythmic activities work well (e.g. trampoline - though unfortunately our garden is too small). We get lots of cartwheels and handstands when my youngest is finding things stressful
After managing quite well in the first week of the new school year, things started to slip last week. Both kids are finding the new routines and expectations quite stressful and school refusal has reared it's head again.
My eldest gets headaches, stomach pain and feels sick, and from chats she's finding the new timetable confusing and the school is too noisy. She's so far missed one day as she was completely hysterical - the days before that she had been really quite chirpy and positive. I've let the school know so they will hopefully add some extra support.
My youngest has also started to struggle. I am taking her to breakfast club every morning which means an even earlier start. She put in for head girl and is extremely anxious about the outcome (most of her class stood for election so it's a hard contest) I didn't want her to be excluded, and to be honest am very proud of her for having a go, but realised there would be fall out. So for example she spent 10 mins screaming on her floor this morning before I could get her calmed down enough for her to get ready. I am being consistently late for work, though thankfully my boss is away and I am making up time at the end of each day. I have no other childcare sorted so i am reliant on the on site school wrap around service.
God I am tired! I am going to bed early but taking ages to wind down. Meh! My brain feels like mush but I recently somehow scored in the 99th percentile on cognitive tests despite struggling with keeping my eyes open. As my wits are my source of income, this is reassuring. I would be told off for bragging if I shared my score IRL. Sorry I know it's a bit self indulgent to post it on here, but at least I am doing something right
My eldest gets headaches, stomach pain and feels sick, and from chats she's finding the new timetable confusing and the school is too noisy. She's so far missed one day as she was completely hysterical - the days before that she had been really quite chirpy and positive. I've let the school know so they will hopefully add some extra support.
My youngest has also started to struggle. I am taking her to breakfast club every morning which means an even earlier start. She put in for head girl and is extremely anxious about the outcome (most of her class stood for election so it's a hard contest) I didn't want her to be excluded, and to be honest am very proud of her for having a go, but realised there would be fall out. So for example she spent 10 mins screaming on her floor this morning before I could get her calmed down enough for her to get ready. I am being consistently late for work, though thankfully my boss is away and I am making up time at the end of each day. I have no other childcare sorted so i am reliant on the on site school wrap around service.
God I am tired! I am going to bed early but taking ages to wind down. Meh! My brain feels like mush but I recently somehow scored in the 99th percentile on cognitive tests despite struggling with keeping my eyes open. As my wits are my source of income, this is reassuring. I would be told off for bragging if I shared my score IRL. Sorry I know it's a bit self indulgent to post it on here, but at least I am doing something right
Edited by oldbanger on Tuesday 19th September 20:39
My eldest was promised a lot of extra support at school following diagnosis and I had a very positive metting with the local inclusion service at Easter where they outlined all the additional assistance she would get.
In the last two weeks, the stress of starting year 9, changing sets in maths and languages, getting used to a new timetable and classmates has become too much. Despite really great reports from teachers, she's started having full blown panic attacks, so far resulting in 3 days off school, where she was so hysterical it wasn't in my gift to get her dressed and out of the door. By her own admission, her main problem is feeling confused at the new routines. I asked whether the inclusion service has helped. The school haven't heard anything and have asked me to supply them with contact details. The autism service say it's nothing to do with them, their file is closed. It's a different bit of the council, and they can't offer me any contact details either, despite the fact that this was all arranged through them.
I am trawling through paperwork bundles to locate a record of the meeting. Yes, I know I should have had everything to hand, but we've had building work ongoing and stuff has been packed into boxes and all sorts.
In the last two weeks, the stress of starting year 9, changing sets in maths and languages, getting used to a new timetable and classmates has become too much. Despite really great reports from teachers, she's started having full blown panic attacks, so far resulting in 3 days off school, where she was so hysterical it wasn't in my gift to get her dressed and out of the door. By her own admission, her main problem is feeling confused at the new routines. I asked whether the inclusion service has helped. The school haven't heard anything and have asked me to supply them with contact details. The autism service say it's nothing to do with them, their file is closed. It's a different bit of the council, and they can't offer me any contact details either, despite the fact that this was all arranged through them.
I am trawling through paperwork bundles to locate a record of the meeting. Yes, I know I should have had everything to hand, but we've had building work ongoing and stuff has been packed into boxes and all sorts.
AMLK in my experience your GP is probably an easier route to CAHMS to the school. It doesn't sound like your daughter in a great place, though as difficult as it may seem, I have come to see self harm as a survival strategy (e.g. Releasing endorphins). So, in other words she may be doing her best to protect and care for herself, admittedly in a very dysfunctional way. I hope she gets the support and care that she deserves from the professionals. It is so frustrating that it isn't a given.
I had meant to post earlier as , in my case, I had a call yesterday from the school to say there'd been a mix up between the senco and pastoral care manager, that the inclusion service had already been in to do observations, and that my girls case has now been escalated due to her current problems, to adk if they could start asap. Phew!
My youngest has been pretty hard to handle, with lots of rocking, baby talk, screeching, defiance and aggression at home. However despite this, she made House Captain in the school elections. I had not really wanted her to go for them as it was going to be hard to manage things if she'd failed, but blimey well done her
I had meant to post earlier as , in my case, I had a call yesterday from the school to say there'd been a mix up between the senco and pastoral care manager, that the inclusion service had already been in to do observations, and that my girls case has now been escalated due to her current problems, to adk if they could start asap. Phew!
My youngest has been pretty hard to handle, with lots of rocking, baby talk, screeching, defiance and aggression at home. However despite this, she made House Captain in the school elections. I had not really wanted her to go for them as it was going to be hard to manage things if she'd failed, but blimey well done her
blueg33 said:
Thanks, its amazing how few people actually understand, that's why I thought I would post here.
Daughter was pulled out of college last year, but she goes down hill sitting at home, college actually helps with the depression and that's why she needs to be there.
I am generally able to compartmentalise, but my wife dwells on it all 24/7. We managed to get away together without my daughter for a week in the summer, but the benefit from that was lost within a few days of being back home. If my daughter is kicked out of college I don't think my wife will cope with having her around, she is really abusive to my wife. We have raised this with camhs, and they just said if she gets violent call the police, and by the way make sure all knives in the house are locked up!
blueg33 I read your earlier post and wondered - why aren't there more support services in place? It astounds me really. Perhaps we need a PH parents of autistic children club Daughter was pulled out of college last year, but she goes down hill sitting at home, college actually helps with the depression and that's why she needs to be there.
I am generally able to compartmentalise, but my wife dwells on it all 24/7. We managed to get away together without my daughter for a week in the summer, but the benefit from that was lost within a few days of being back home. If my daughter is kicked out of college I don't think my wife will cope with having her around, she is really abusive to my wife. We have raised this with camhs, and they just said if she gets violent call the police, and by the way make sure all knives in the house are locked up!
I understand where your wife is coming from - for some reason it can often be the mum who is the focus of any aggression
Have you ever heard of NVR (Non violent resistance)? There's quite a good book at https://www.amazon.co.uk/Non-Violent-Resistance-Ap... and I know that various courses are run around the country. I recently saw the National Association of Therapeutic Parents (an organisation for children with developmental trauma/delay) advertising NVR workshops for the public (with discounts for members) and could PM you details of the organisers. My kids are still hard to parent, but learning therapeutic parenting techniques has helped reduce the worst behaviours for the most part.
blueg33 - I just spotted this and wondered if it might be useful
http://www.autism.org.uk/educationrights
Education Rights Service - Call 0808 800 4102
Leave a message on our answering service and we will call you back (free from landlines and most mobiles).
Our Education Rights Service provides impartial, confidential information, advice and support on education rights and entitlements for parents and carers of pre-school and school-age children with autism to help them get the educational support their child needs.
There's also an online form and email address on the link
http://www.autism.org.uk/educationrights
Education Rights Service - Call 0808 800 4102
Leave a message on our answering service and we will call you back (free from landlines and most mobiles).
Our Education Rights Service provides impartial, confidential information, advice and support on education rights and entitlements for parents and carers of pre-school and school-age children with autism to help them get the educational support their child needs.
There's also an online form and email address on the link
My youngest's school is now referring her for the autism assessment and have had various specialists in for observations. The latest one had a questionnaire for me. The SENCO gave the letter and questionnaire to my 10 year old daughter to pass on to me, and didn't alert me that anything was coming. So she read it and chucked it away. They did then phone me the night before the visit was due to take place as I hadn't given them the consent form and said I would attend, so everything did go ahead. But, my poor daughter was absolutely hysterical the night before and again that morning, in a panic about the whole thing.
What also doesn't help is that the school has a new behaviour policy which her class have been working on - parental involvement is listed as a sanction for poor behaviour, and one of the worst sanctions to boot. Which then doesn't help us at all, as I am required to attend school regularly for her IEP etc. and my daughter is now extremely upset about people thinking she's a bad kid.
It’s great that the school are getting things moving but very poor thinking on their part. She was totally beside herself, screaming on the floor that morning, and I was lucky to get her to school at all that day.
What also doesn't help is that the school has a new behaviour policy which her class have been working on - parental involvement is listed as a sanction for poor behaviour, and one of the worst sanctions to boot. Which then doesn't help us at all, as I am required to attend school regularly for her IEP etc. and my daughter is now extremely upset about people thinking she's a bad kid.
It’s great that the school are getting things moving but very poor thinking on their part. She was totally beside herself, screaming on the floor that morning, and I was lucky to get her to school at all that day.
Edited by oldbanger on Thursday 9th November 21:31
Hope everyone is ok.
We’ve had a bit of progress - my youngest is on the waiting list for an assessment following a referral by the school. We have about a 30 week wait, but that will mean that the process should be starting as she moves to secondary school, which will help get things in place following the transition.
She’s at a very aspirational primary so SATs prep is already tough, they are sitting a couple of SATs papers every week, which they then have to vying home for parents to sign. To say her anxieties were already at full tilt would be putting it mildly. She has developed an intense interest in Roblocks, is starting to refuse school again and now is also lashing out at me physically.
I really don’t cate what she gets- the school she will go to doesn’t use the SATs results anyway. This is all for the school’s benefit not the child’s
We’ve had a bit of progress - my youngest is on the waiting list for an assessment following a referral by the school. We have about a 30 week wait, but that will mean that the process should be starting as she moves to secondary school, which will help get things in place following the transition.
She’s at a very aspirational primary so SATs prep is already tough, they are sitting a couple of SATs papers every week, which they then have to vying home for parents to sign. To say her anxieties were already at full tilt would be putting it mildly. She has developed an intense interest in Roblocks, is starting to refuse school again and now is also lashing out at me physically.
I really don’t cate what she gets- the school she will go to doesn’t use the SATs results anyway. This is all for the school’s benefit not the child’s
The Don of Croy said:
Just caught up with this thread - we've had it easy!
Our youngest (15 next Feb) had his diagnosis (high functioning Aspergers) nearly two years ago, which we (well my wife) organised privately.
Whilst the report is interesting it, of course, makes no difference - we still have to live together. As you would expect there are many areas of varying difficulty and some really bright occasions that help redress the balance...but it's a struggle. He is unbelievably rude to his poor Mum, who is only trying to get him to complete his homework or practise his piano (he has a music scholarship dependent on continuing performance...) or any other routine task, which, if he's not in the mood, will be met with an outpouring of vitriol.
He doesn't do it to me so much as I tend to be firmer, but also I'm not on hand when the problem starts (usually). What I find curious is he can and will voice unpleasant thoughts during his outburst, but always avoids profanity.
The plus side - as others here have mentioned - is the ability in music, the information recall, enthusiasm for tech subjects, and when he's nice he's very good company (although very probing with the questions - always more questions) if you keep off politics. Not a fan of Corbyn. His main interest is alarm systems, sirens, older PC components, and washing machines!
Added to that we get the hormonal interference just to make it all more complicated.
We're hoping we've 'peaked' on the challenging behaviour (although anything is possible) and his course is now set for GCSEs in summer 2019, so he's getting to grips with the homework (gradually) and just needs to accept the morning routine better (has stopped rising in good time but normally gets away on time).
Our two older children (25 and nearly 28) had some similar traits in their day, but not as developed as the youngest. However, my Dad did display some very similar behaviour - as an adult - which reminds me (ruefully) of my youth. So it's all my fault...
As I said at top, compared to some on here we've had it easy, but it's always nice to get it off your chest.
Homework is a bugger. I joined the National Association of Therapeutic Parents, following a rather upsetting brush with the local Mash team over the kids screaming. They advocate no homework unless the child is able to at least start it without being pushed. One thing our kids and others with developmental delays/traumas struggle with us emotional regulation - they won’t learn it at home if they are constantly clashing with their parents. Our youngest (15 next Feb) had his diagnosis (high functioning Aspergers) nearly two years ago, which we (well my wife) organised privately.
Whilst the report is interesting it, of course, makes no difference - we still have to live together. As you would expect there are many areas of varying difficulty and some really bright occasions that help redress the balance...but it's a struggle. He is unbelievably rude to his poor Mum, who is only trying to get him to complete his homework or practise his piano (he has a music scholarship dependent on continuing performance...) or any other routine task, which, if he's not in the mood, will be met with an outpouring of vitriol.
He doesn't do it to me so much as I tend to be firmer, but also I'm not on hand when the problem starts (usually). What I find curious is he can and will voice unpleasant thoughts during his outburst, but always avoids profanity.
The plus side - as others here have mentioned - is the ability in music, the information recall, enthusiasm for tech subjects, and when he's nice he's very good company (although very probing with the questions - always more questions) if you keep off politics. Not a fan of Corbyn. His main interest is alarm systems, sirens, older PC components, and washing machines!
Added to that we get the hormonal interference just to make it all more complicated.
We're hoping we've 'peaked' on the challenging behaviour (although anything is possible) and his course is now set for GCSEs in summer 2019, so he's getting to grips with the homework (gradually) and just needs to accept the morning routine better (has stopped rising in good time but normally gets away on time).
Our two older children (25 and nearly 28) had some similar traits in their day, but not as developed as the youngest. However, my Dad did display some very similar behaviour - as an adult - which reminds me (ruefully) of my youth. So it's all my fault...
As I said at top, compared to some on here we've had it easy, but it's always nice to get it off your chest.
I’ve genuinely found therapeutic parenting techniques really helpful. Life is still tough but things are no where near how they were s couple of years ago.
I wondered how everyone is getting on.
My eldest has taken a bit of a backward leap and has started school refusing again. We still get her there but she’s full on screeching, crying, and at points she’s getting quite physical. I then have to drive her as she won’t get on the bus. I work full time and this is having a massive impact on my ability to get to work on time.
The trigger seems to have been an inability to adjust back to school after the Easter break, added to the previous loss of a classmate last term, not a particularly good friend but her usual class partner. The friend has moved away. She says she doesn’t even know where the classrooms are any more.
My youngest had another 3 weeks to go until SATs and her anxiety is pretty bad too.
As a consequence I am feeling rather defeated and worn down right now. I do wonder whether medication and maybe even a special school might be the right idea.
My eldest has taken a bit of a backward leap and has started school refusing again. We still get her there but she’s full on screeching, crying, and at points she’s getting quite physical. I then have to drive her as she won’t get on the bus. I work full time and this is having a massive impact on my ability to get to work on time.
The trigger seems to have been an inability to adjust back to school after the Easter break, added to the previous loss of a classmate last term, not a particularly good friend but her usual class partner. The friend has moved away. She says she doesn’t even know where the classrooms are any more.
My youngest had another 3 weeks to go until SATs and her anxiety is pretty bad too.
As a consequence I am feeling rather defeated and worn down right now. I do wonder whether medication and maybe even a special school might be the right idea.
Edited by oldbanger on Wednesday 25th April 12:23
The Don of Croy said:
^^ That sounds really tough - hope you're coping OK.
Today things went well - maybe the worst has passed, until next time?I have backup at the moment, in the form of a very switched on au pair. I thank my lucky stars that the kids were good for the first month or so, so she knows this is a temporary blip. Plus I deal with the worst of the behaviour and leave her to deal with whatever kid is behaving ok. She is at college nearby 3 days a week, so I have her until the course finishes, at least. I was very open about the kids when we found her so she came to us with her eyes open.
I've just got myself a project car to keep myself amused. My youngest loves it, my eldest won't go anywhere near it, as it's too noisy.
The Don of Croy said:
We're settling into a sort of routine - he ignores any reminder that 'bedtime' might be approaching, gets lippy when we call him out on it at 22:00 then fiddles around until we're also retiring around 22:30. Come the morning no prizes for guessing who is last up and complaining they need more time in bed. Could be worse.
On a major plus side he's investigating modern apprenticeships - specifically EDF Energy - as a way to enter the adult world a little eariler and continue with tech education. It's a bit of a gamble (exchanging A levels for HNC or equivalent) but could be doable.
There's still a marked change once every few weeks - maybe a hormone rush? - and he gets totally uncompromising, but it seems to pass within a day or two. And he's growing like a weed - bigger feet than me already and only 100mm shorter.
I do worry as my eldest is now 14. I don't think she'd cope with A-level exams (she has a low working memory and really struggles in exam situations) so that rules out the local 6th form as they only offer A-levels. College will involve her either getting the train into a nearby city, or learning to drive (she is getting her first lesson for her birthday, thought I'd start her now to stop any build up anxieties). An apprenticeship is probably a good idea! Thanks.On a major plus side he's investigating modern apprenticeships - specifically EDF Energy - as a way to enter the adult world a little eariler and continue with tech education. It's a bit of a gamble (exchanging A levels for HNC or equivalent) but could be doable.
There's still a marked change once every few weeks - maybe a hormone rush? - and he gets totally uncompromising, but it seems to pass within a day or two. And he's growing like a weed - bigger feet than me already and only 100mm shorter.
blueg33 said:
Update on my daughter who is now 18.
College is a huge problem, she should be going in 2 mornings and one afternoon a week for one A level, but she misses almost every one. The collge is supposed to have sorted distance learning for her other two A level's but have reneged on that deal. This is now in the hands of OFSTED, the ESFA and the LA. The fact that college have reneged on the agreement has hit her hard in terms of depression and anxiety and we now have to keep all knives and drugs locked up again.
An EHCP has been applied for and we are awaiting the outcome.
Now she is 18, CAMHS no longer see her and she is on the waiting list for Adult mental health services, been on the list for 6 months. This break in her mental health treatment has exacerbated the problems we have at home, she is now extremely difficult, will not help around the house at all, and as above her suicidal thoughts are more frequent.
She is very difficult to live with. There are no options for alternate accommodation, pretty much no help whatsoever
I remembered that I had previously looked into weighted blankets and vests, so we've just agreed to invest in a compression vest for her to wear under her school shirt. They are not cheap but I am hoping this will work, at least to some extent.College is a huge problem, she should be going in 2 mornings and one afternoon a week for one A level, but she misses almost every one. The collge is supposed to have sorted distance learning for her other two A level's but have reneged on that deal. This is now in the hands of OFSTED, the ESFA and the LA. The fact that college have reneged on the agreement has hit her hard in terms of depression and anxiety and we now have to keep all knives and drugs locked up again.
An EHCP has been applied for and we are awaiting the outcome.
Now she is 18, CAMHS no longer see her and she is on the waiting list for Adult mental health services, been on the list for 6 months. This break in her mental health treatment has exacerbated the problems we have at home, she is now extremely difficult, will not help around the house at all, and as above her suicidal thoughts are more frequent.
She is very difficult to live with. There are no options for alternate accommodation, pretty much no help whatsoever
I gave up asking my eldest to help around the house. She has to tidy her room, pick up her plates, but chores are beyond her at the moment.
5MUG said:
oldbanger I have just emailed you. S
Thank you!From reading around it sounds like low doses of Benzos help people with autism to manage some of their symptoms (but only low doses)
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/antianx...
blueg33 said:
Update on my daughter who is now 18.
College is a huge problem, she should be going in 2 mornings and one afternoon a week for one A level, but she misses almost every one. The collge is supposed to have sorted distance learning for her other two A level's but have reneged on that deal. This is now in the hands of OFSTED, the ESFA and the LA. The fact that college have reneged on the agreement has hit her hard in terms of depression and anxiety and we now have to keep all knives and drugs locked up again.
An EHCP has been applied for and we are awaiting the outcome.
Now she is 18, CAMHS no longer see her and she is on the waiting list for Adult mental health services, been on the list for 6 months. This break in her mental health treatment has exacerbated the problems we have at home, she is now extremely difficult, will not help around the house at all, and as above her suicidal thoughts are more frequent.
She is very difficult to live with. There are no options for alternate accommodation, pretty much no help whatsoever
If you find you need to push the distance learning route, I have studied with the national extension college and found them quite good. Also I have used coursera - there are lots of short uni backed courses which you can take. I am currently picking away at a machine learning module run by Stanford University. You don’t need to pay for these unless you want a certificate at the end, and you can sort this right up to the last minute. College is a huge problem, she should be going in 2 mornings and one afternoon a week for one A level, but she misses almost every one. The collge is supposed to have sorted distance learning for her other two A level's but have reneged on that deal. This is now in the hands of OFSTED, the ESFA and the LA. The fact that college have reneged on the agreement has hit her hard in terms of depression and anxiety and we now have to keep all knives and drugs locked up again.
An EHCP has been applied for and we are awaiting the outcome.
Now she is 18, CAMHS no longer see her and she is on the waiting list for Adult mental health services, been on the list for 6 months. This break in her mental health treatment has exacerbated the problems we have at home, she is now extremely difficult, will not help around the house at all, and as above her suicidal thoughts are more frequent.
She is very difficult to live with. There are no options for alternate accommodation, pretty much no help whatsoever
Work wise I am incredibly lucky. My employer just started flexible working so I am not officially late if I can get there before 10. The problems with that are that most of my colleagues work 8-4 and working until 6 means I don’t get home until 7, which is too late for the kids. Whilst I am not irreplaceable, getting rid of me would set my boss back enough that I have a little bit of leeway, as long as everything progresses.
This entire half term has been beset by school refusal by my eldest, who seems to be quite fragile. I get the 14 year old to school eventually but I am having to dress her and carry her about, and she lashes out quite a bit. She is taller than I am, although very skinny.
This morning I had the added complication of my other child age 11 trashing the house in front of the au pair whilst I drove the 14 yo to school. The au pair is pretty upset as am I.
I have contacted my eldest’s school to ask about an echp. I think longer term she will need a specialist school (they probably both do, but my other child hasn’t been assessed yet - she’s on the waiting list). So an echp will be the first step
Ultimately a residential school may be the best idea.
This morning I had the added complication of my other child age 11 trashing the house in front of the au pair whilst I drove the 14 yo to school. The au pair is pretty upset as am I.
I have contacted my eldest’s school to ask about an echp. I think longer term she will need a specialist school (they probably both do, but my other child hasn’t been assessed yet - she’s on the waiting list). So an echp will be the first step
Ultimately a residential school may be the best idea.
Yes I have contacted the school. No response as yet.
I am supppsed to be working away tomorrow, leaving before the kids get up I have pre booked train tickets.
I am the main earner and on paper only have limited flexibility, I get far more leeway than is in my contract. Yet at the moment I am the one who makes adjustments for appointments, behavioural issues etc.
My OH suffers from depression, has done for many years, and at the moment just seems to argue with them. They then all appeal to me. Horrific
I am supppsed to be working away tomorrow, leaving before the kids get up I have pre booked train tickets.
I am the main earner and on paper only have limited flexibility, I get far more leeway than is in my contract. Yet at the moment I am the one who makes adjustments for appointments, behavioural issues etc.
My OH suffers from depression, has done for many years, and at the moment just seems to argue with them. They then all appeal to me. Horrific
I haven’t gone for a statement as yet, as life has got in the way.
I wondered how everyone was getting on?
My eldest had a good year, despite some really difficult mornings where I had to dress her and carry her to the car whilst she swung at me.
She has a little friendship group. She got school awards for maths and product design. She was picked out to join a group of promising young designers who got to meet Ian Callum. She had her first commissioned piece - her art is now in display in the local CAHMS office. CAHMS have now signed her off, though she does get support from the School Inclusion Service and that will keep on. She doesn’t pull her hair so much - she’s gone from being almost completely bald when she moved in 3 years ago to having a very stylish and sophisticated full head of hair. You’d never know.
She washes! Without being asked. A very welcome development.
She has developed an interest in clothes, mildly goth or emo. She had branched out from Harry Potter into Manga, Marvel and DC. She went to Comic Con with her friends, in costume, and ended up being featured in the best 50 photos.
She is still very paranoid with very little insight. Blunt to the point she can be really cutting and pulls no punches about how little we do for her, when talking to the school and our relatives. But hey, that’s the inflexibility of aspergers, at least in part.
She is transitioning to GCSEs, so classes will change, they are refurbishing the school and changing the classroom doors (she has been panicking about this since June) and her sister will be joining in year 7 next term ( she is very unhappy about this too). So when she tells me she wants to move away, I see it’s her fear of change talking.
The new term is going to be a challenge I suspect. At least at first.
I wondered how everyone was getting on?
My eldest had a good year, despite some really difficult mornings where I had to dress her and carry her to the car whilst she swung at me.
She has a little friendship group. She got school awards for maths and product design. She was picked out to join a group of promising young designers who got to meet Ian Callum. She had her first commissioned piece - her art is now in display in the local CAHMS office. CAHMS have now signed her off, though she does get support from the School Inclusion Service and that will keep on. She doesn’t pull her hair so much - she’s gone from being almost completely bald when she moved in 3 years ago to having a very stylish and sophisticated full head of hair. You’d never know.
She washes! Without being asked. A very welcome development.
She has developed an interest in clothes, mildly goth or emo. She had branched out from Harry Potter into Manga, Marvel and DC. She went to Comic Con with her friends, in costume, and ended up being featured in the best 50 photos.
She is still very paranoid with very little insight. Blunt to the point she can be really cutting and pulls no punches about how little we do for her, when talking to the school and our relatives. But hey, that’s the inflexibility of aspergers, at least in part.
She is transitioning to GCSEs, so classes will change, they are refurbishing the school and changing the classroom doors (she has been panicking about this since June) and her sister will be joining in year 7 next term ( she is very unhappy about this too). So when she tells me she wants to move away, I see it’s her fear of change talking.
The new term is going to be a challenge I suspect. At least at first.
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