Discussion
Resurrecting this thread as it looks like we will get a diagnosis for my son next week. We have got a meeting with CAMHS and they have also invited someone from my son's school and the local Autistic Trust - seems like a foregone conclusion due to the invite to the Trust.
In many ways, it will be a relief to have a diagnosis - whatever it is - so we can plan better and get the help he needs. The main concern now is the reaction from his school - it is very focused on academic grades - so I am half-expecting them to suggest he needs to move. This may not be a bad thing as he is struggling there - although very bright he just cannot focus on the lessons and is constantly getting detentions for disrupting the class, even though there is not much he can do about it at the moment.
Hopefully the Autistic Trust will be able to help with selecting the right school and identifying the help he will need.
In many ways, it will be a relief to have a diagnosis - whatever it is - so we can plan better and get the help he needs. The main concern now is the reaction from his school - it is very focused on academic grades - so I am half-expecting them to suggest he needs to move. This may not be a bad thing as he is struggling there - although very bright he just cannot focus on the lessons and is constantly getting detentions for disrupting the class, even though there is not much he can do about it at the moment.
Hopefully the Autistic Trust will be able to help with selecting the right school and identifying the help he will need.
TNJ said:
Resurrecting this thread as it looks like we will get a diagnosis for my son next week. We have got a meeting with CAMHS and they have also invited someone from my son's school and the local Autistic Trust - seems like a foregone conclusion due to the invite to the Trust.
In many ways, it will be a relief to have a diagnosis - whatever it is - so we can plan better and get the help he needs. The main concern now is the reaction from his school - it is very focused on academic grades - so I am half-expecting them to suggest he needs to move. This may not be a bad thing as he is struggling there - although very bright he just cannot focus on the lessons and is constantly getting detentions for disrupting the class, even though there is not much he can do about it at the moment.
Hopefully the Autistic Trust will be able to help with selecting the right school and identifying the help he will need.
Although it may not seem like it, thats good news. As you say you will be able to plan better and a diagnosis is the first step towards an EHCP which you need to get rolling immediately as it takes about a year to do all the paperwork. That then gives you the funding to choose the right school.In many ways, it will be a relief to have a diagnosis - whatever it is - so we can plan better and get the help he needs. The main concern now is the reaction from his school - it is very focused on academic grades - so I am half-expecting them to suggest he needs to move. This may not be a bad thing as he is struggling there - although very bright he just cannot focus on the lessons and is constantly getting detentions for disrupting the class, even though there is not much he can do about it at the moment.
Hopefully the Autistic Trust will be able to help with selecting the right school and identifying the help he will need.
Also the detentions will not be doing your child any good and must stop. Once you have a diagnosis you really need to hot foot it down to the school and set out a new way of them working with your child. I had the same, detentions all the time, the second I had the diagnosis I told them he wouldnt be attending any more detentions, and they just stopped.
Also they have a duty of care to come up with a plan to ensure your child receives an education and cant just ignore their special needs.It will probably mean moving schools though. In my case I have 1 x Aspergers and 1 x Autistic son and the head of their school point blank refused to do anything. He didnt believe in Autism , he was a firm supported of the 'they are just a naughty child' school of thought and nothing could sway him.
Its a long road but Autistic children are amazing people, my children have both flourished in their new school my oldest has gone from being withdrawn and disruptive with no friends to now being the school mentor for the most challenging kids. He is on track to get at least 6 A and B grade GCSEs, has lots of friends and has been asked by the school to stay on for an extra year (he is 18 already) as he is so good at working with the other kids. And he is starting part time college in september.
Never give up hope, sometimes it seems like things will never improve but they will.
Thanks Dodsy, that is good to know.
His current school is supportive in the main, but there are a couple of teachers (his form teacher being the main one) who just are not interested - his line is always that my son cannot use the Aspergers/Autism as an excuse so if he steps out of line he will be punished the same as any of the other kids. End result is detention after detention and it is always from the same couple of teachers. The head of year has been very supportive but there have already been a couple of comments about whether the school is right for him.
Our challenge is going to be getting him into the right school. The local comp is very good and does have specific provision for ASD kids - but if I need to move him soon (probably for September), we may not have the EHC in place by then. I would want him to get off to a good start and do not want him to have a year of the same problems he is having now whilst waiting for the EHC.
Nothing is every straightforward!
His current school is supportive in the main, but there are a couple of teachers (his form teacher being the main one) who just are not interested - his line is always that my son cannot use the Aspergers/Autism as an excuse so if he steps out of line he will be punished the same as any of the other kids. End result is detention after detention and it is always from the same couple of teachers. The head of year has been very supportive but there have already been a couple of comments about whether the school is right for him.
Our challenge is going to be getting him into the right school. The local comp is very good and does have specific provision for ASD kids - but if I need to move him soon (probably for September), we may not have the EHC in place by then. I would want him to get off to a good start and do not want him to have a year of the same problems he is having now whilst waiting for the EHC.
Nothing is every straightforward!
TNJ said:
Thanks Dodsy, that is good to know.
but there are a couple of teachers (his form teacher being the main one) who just are not interested - his line is always that my son cannot use the Aspergers/Autism as an excuse so if he steps out of line he will be punished the same as any of the other kids.
That is outrageous and shows a lack of training. If the softly softly approach doesnt work bring out the big guns. Autism is a recognised disability and as such you can hit them with Disability discrimination.but there are a couple of teachers (his form teacher being the main one) who just are not interested - his line is always that my son cannot use the Aspergers/Autism as an excuse so if he steps out of line he will be punished the same as any of the other kids.
Your best bet (and what worked for me) is hit google , lots of research, read up on the schools responsibilities to Autistic and disabled pupils. They should have a variety of plans and procedures in place but I suspect they havent. You will see an improvement in their response once you start asking for things that they must have in place and can show them the relevant legislation and guidance documents.
Thanks Dodsy for your supportive posts - It is good to hear your kids have a positive ending because right now I cannot see this. We are still waiting for the next step in our referral and I am really struggling.
Every word out of my daughters mouth towards me is filled with anger, hate and disrespect. What makes this harder is that she is not like this towards her father. I am currently returning to work after 5 months off sick (spinal problems), so I don't think she likes the change but there is nothing I can do about that I have to get back to work. I also suffer from depression which doesn't help matters. I spoke to my GP last week and she is going to contact the paediatrician to see if they can expedite the referral as I am struggling.
TNJ - I hope CAHMS help and you get things sorted for your son, sorting out the right school is such a challenge. I really hope we get things sorted soon as my daughter starts high school in August so we really need things in place before then.
Every word out of my daughters mouth towards me is filled with anger, hate and disrespect. What makes this harder is that she is not like this towards her father. I am currently returning to work after 5 months off sick (spinal problems), so I don't think she likes the change but there is nothing I can do about that I have to get back to work. I also suffer from depression which doesn't help matters. I spoke to my GP last week and she is going to contact the paediatrician to see if they can expedite the referral as I am struggling.
TNJ - I hope CAHMS help and you get things sorted for your son, sorting out the right school is such a challenge. I really hope we get things sorted soon as my daughter starts high school in August so we really need things in place before then.
AMLK said:
It is good to hear your kids have a positive ending because right now I cannot see this. We are still waiting for the next step in our referral and I am really struggling.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel, but its a difficult journey to get there. I had 3 breakdowns and a year off work fighting for my boys but it got the right result in the end, now I look back and cant believe that we were ever in such a bad place.Unfortunately no one is there to help, you have to fight your own corner and sometimes it does seem like everyone is against you. Just remember, their job (Council, Education authority, school) is to save money , every decision they make every question they raise is designed to delay the process and make sure they dont have to spend anything by giving your child what they need.
My oldest son spent 2 years from 13-15 sat at home while we fought the battle for him but it was worth it as he is now successful and integrated into school and community. My youngest about the same , 18 months at home from age 13. But again he is now at a great school and making progress.
On top of all that you have Puberty which complicates things immensely.
If I can give you a single piece of advice its this - Dont give up. Keep chasing. If you are waiting for a referrall call and email them regularly to chase it. Only those who shout the loudest and are persistent succeed at this.
If you need someone to talk to just PM me and we can set up a call, I've been through this twice and I do help other parents going through the same thing.
Thanks for the supportive words AMLK. The diagnosis meeting is tomorrow so hopefully we will finally get a formal diagnosis and can then look forward. I am still expecting the main battles to be ahead - trying to get an EHCP in place (the new "statement" of special education needs) may take a lot of time and is doubtless going to involve dealing with a lot of bureaucracy as the local authority will not want to provide any funding if they can avoid it. I think a big obstacle is that he is in an independent school at the moment and we want to move him to a state school - and the two systems do not seem to engage with each other very well.
I wish you well with your daughter - I have been fortunate that my son has never displayed anger or bitterness and I have a great relationship with him - although teenage years are only a few weeks away! His biggest problem (outside problems in the classroom) has always been feeling like he is different to all his peers - struggling to make friends, being picked on, etc - the whole social communication side is a nightmare for him. This really hits him emotionally and he gets very down and is very self-critical, which is something we are keeping a close eye on.
Anyway, I will report back with hopefully some positive news after tomorrow....
I wish you well with your daughter - I have been fortunate that my son has never displayed anger or bitterness and I have a great relationship with him - although teenage years are only a few weeks away! His biggest problem (outside problems in the classroom) has always been feeling like he is different to all his peers - struggling to make friends, being picked on, etc - the whole social communication side is a nightmare for him. This really hits him emotionally and he gets very down and is very self-critical, which is something we are keeping a close eye on.
Anyway, I will report back with hopefully some positive news after tomorrow....
Well today has been interesting to say the least - not what we had expected at all.
They said that he meets the criteria for an ASD diagnosis (albeit not high on the scale) on all the tests apart from the ADOS test - his score on that was very low. As a result, no diagnosis of ASD.
Instead, they have diagnosed ADHD. I accept that he has a lot of traits that match ADHD but many of those traits also match ASD. There are also so many other things that match ASD but not ADHD. It seems that the entire diagnosis has been based on the ADOS test - that was ok so he hasn't got ASD. What concerns me is that after the ADOS test, my son came out saying that it was a bit weird and it was obvious what the psychologist wanted him to say or do, so he did that. I am wondering whether a second opinion would be worthwhile.
Overall, ADHD is very much manageable so if that truly is what he has got, then that may not be a bad thing. My worry is that he gets help for ADHD but nothing improves and in a couple of years we are back looking at ASD and, in the meantime, he has lost the crucial couple of years in the run up to GCSEs.
It is all so confusing! We get the formal report in a few days which may make things a bit clearer.
The most frustrating thing was that two people from his school came along - his head of year and the school nurse. They desperately wanted some help - they kept asking what support should be given, what strategies should be used etc, etc. we got no advice whatsoever. All we were told is that there are support staff in the state sector who deal with this - my son is in an independent school, so the CAMHS people basically said that it is up to the school to work it out! The school is really supportive and desperately want to help but they are being given no assistance at all - they don't want funding or anything, they just need some guidance as to what they should do to help but there is nothing forthcoming.
Overall, I am not sure if we have really moved on at all.
They said that he meets the criteria for an ASD diagnosis (albeit not high on the scale) on all the tests apart from the ADOS test - his score on that was very low. As a result, no diagnosis of ASD.
Instead, they have diagnosed ADHD. I accept that he has a lot of traits that match ADHD but many of those traits also match ASD. There are also so many other things that match ASD but not ADHD. It seems that the entire diagnosis has been based on the ADOS test - that was ok so he hasn't got ASD. What concerns me is that after the ADOS test, my son came out saying that it was a bit weird and it was obvious what the psychologist wanted him to say or do, so he did that. I am wondering whether a second opinion would be worthwhile.
Overall, ADHD is very much manageable so if that truly is what he has got, then that may not be a bad thing. My worry is that he gets help for ADHD but nothing improves and in a couple of years we are back looking at ASD and, in the meantime, he has lost the crucial couple of years in the run up to GCSEs.
It is all so confusing! We get the formal report in a few days which may make things a bit clearer.
The most frustrating thing was that two people from his school came along - his head of year and the school nurse. They desperately wanted some help - they kept asking what support should be given, what strategies should be used etc, etc. we got no advice whatsoever. All we were told is that there are support staff in the state sector who deal with this - my son is in an independent school, so the CAMHS people basically said that it is up to the school to work it out! The school is really supportive and desperately want to help but they are being given no assistance at all - they don't want funding or anything, they just need some guidance as to what they should do to help but there is nothing forthcoming.
Overall, I am not sure if we have really moved on at all.
Sorry to hear that TNJ but dont give up hope. My Aspergers son was just told he had behavioral issues first time he was evaluated. CAMHS really want you to go away and not bother them and are keen to down play any ASD traits.
And no surprise that they cant offer any help to the school - thats not what they do. CAMHS job is to diagnose then hand out drugs - expect nothing more. You wont get any help, strategies etc from them. They are all about medical intervention.
I immediately pushed for a second opinion and was very lucky that second time at CAMHS there was a Locum who was a specialist in Aspergers and Autism - Remember most CAMHS specialists are just normal Psychologists who dont really know much about Aspergers and ASD. The second specialist cut the interview short after 10 minutes and said 'well he's clearly aspergers and nearly off the scale why the hell hasnt he been diagnosed and treated before ?'
My posts always sound so negative but just saying you have to push hard to get the right help.
And on a side note, I met with the Autism outreach team and they said the same thing about CAMHS - they also suggested I should write a book as I knew more than them or anyone else working in this sector about Autism.
Read 'The reason I jump' - its written by a severely Autistic child so lots of it wont apply and some of it is just plain off the planet but there are some really good insights in there. I certainly had a few 'ahhhh so thats why he does that' moments.
Research is your friend here - I used to spend hours every day reading papers and understanding how Autism works. That means you are prepared when you go into CAMHS meetings and can get them on the back foot and drive towards the right diagnosis. I found that saying 'have you considered <name's> work who wrote a paper <name of paper> which explained that the behavior we see is linked to high end ASD' usually worked. Unfortunately you need to become more of an expert that they are - but thats not hard.
Our CAMHS have 1 x Psychologist (or maybe shes a Psychiatrist who knows) for the whole county. And shes spanish and only speaks broken english. She gets my Sons name wrong all the time, several times shes been talking about his symptoms when I have to stop her and point out shes looking at someone elses file. And they send us other peoples records and letters quite often. Dont expect too much from them.
I dont think you need an ASD diagnosis to get an EHCP - what you need is the Education Psychologist to come to the school, meet your child and write an assessment. Both my sons EHCP's were based on that report. The school have to request this so ask them to do that.
And no surprise that they cant offer any help to the school - thats not what they do. CAMHS job is to diagnose then hand out drugs - expect nothing more. You wont get any help, strategies etc from them. They are all about medical intervention.
I immediately pushed for a second opinion and was very lucky that second time at CAMHS there was a Locum who was a specialist in Aspergers and Autism - Remember most CAMHS specialists are just normal Psychologists who dont really know much about Aspergers and ASD. The second specialist cut the interview short after 10 minutes and said 'well he's clearly aspergers and nearly off the scale why the hell hasnt he been diagnosed and treated before ?'
My posts always sound so negative but just saying you have to push hard to get the right help.
And on a side note, I met with the Autism outreach team and they said the same thing about CAMHS - they also suggested I should write a book as I knew more than them or anyone else working in this sector about Autism.
Read 'The reason I jump' - its written by a severely Autistic child so lots of it wont apply and some of it is just plain off the planet but there are some really good insights in there. I certainly had a few 'ahhhh so thats why he does that' moments.
Research is your friend here - I used to spend hours every day reading papers and understanding how Autism works. That means you are prepared when you go into CAMHS meetings and can get them on the back foot and drive towards the right diagnosis. I found that saying 'have you considered <name's> work who wrote a paper <name of paper> which explained that the behavior we see is linked to high end ASD' usually worked. Unfortunately you need to become more of an expert that they are - but thats not hard.
Our CAMHS have 1 x Psychologist (or maybe shes a Psychiatrist who knows) for the whole county. And shes spanish and only speaks broken english. She gets my Sons name wrong all the time, several times shes been talking about his symptoms when I have to stop her and point out shes looking at someone elses file. And they send us other peoples records and letters quite often. Dont expect too much from them.
I dont think you need an ASD diagnosis to get an EHCP - what you need is the Education Psychologist to come to the school, meet your child and write an assessment. Both my sons EHCP's were based on that report. The school have to request this so ask them to do that.
TNJ - I am sorry you and your son's school have not got the support you need. I hope you can resolve this and get help.
I am waiting for a call back from my GP as we desperately need help. This morning started as a typical morning where our daughter refused to get out of bed and get ready for school. In the end I dragged her to a sitting position on her bed and demanded she talk to me. I explained that unless she talks to me I cannot help her, and I really want to help her. She broke down - the words out her mouth were 'I don't want to live anymore, I've been thinking of commiting suicide'. I am devastated. We have spoken about suicide at home because a couple of years ago we lost a very close family friend to it, and another close friend of mine is currently off sick after an attempt.
I don't know what to do. As I have said I am waiting from a call from the GP. I tried to speak to her headteacher (who used to work at a special needs school) but she is off site today. She may pop into the school at lunch so I may get a call from her. I ended up speaking to her class teacher (learning support teacher is on mat leave!!) who said she will get immediate advice on what the school can do to help support her. She will also have a chat to Anna at school (we decided she should go in - she wants to submit her 500words story to the bbc and today is the deadline).
I am sitting here in tears wondering how the hell we got to this point, and where do we go from here. I pray we get help before it is to late.
Sorry for the negative post, I just needed to talk.
I am waiting for a call back from my GP as we desperately need help. This morning started as a typical morning where our daughter refused to get out of bed and get ready for school. In the end I dragged her to a sitting position on her bed and demanded she talk to me. I explained that unless she talks to me I cannot help her, and I really want to help her. She broke down - the words out her mouth were 'I don't want to live anymore, I've been thinking of commiting suicide'. I am devastated. We have spoken about suicide at home because a couple of years ago we lost a very close family friend to it, and another close friend of mine is currently off sick after an attempt.
I don't know what to do. As I have said I am waiting from a call from the GP. I tried to speak to her headteacher (who used to work at a special needs school) but she is off site today. She may pop into the school at lunch so I may get a call from her. I ended up speaking to her class teacher (learning support teacher is on mat leave!!) who said she will get immediate advice on what the school can do to help support her. She will also have a chat to Anna at school (we decided she should go in - she wants to submit her 500words story to the bbc and today is the deadline).
I am sitting here in tears wondering how the hell we got to this point, and where do we go from here. I pray we get help before it is to late.
Sorry for the negative post, I just needed to talk.
Thanks Dodsy - that is really helpful.
I think I will go for a second opinion, just to be sure. The ADHD could be the correct diagnosis but there are things that just don't fully fit and I want to be sure that we do the right thing - I hate the idea of putting him on medication and want to be absolutely sure that it is the correct way to help before we go down that route.
I think I will go for a second opinion, just to be sure. The ADHD could be the correct diagnosis but there are things that just don't fully fit and I want to be sure that we do the right thing - I hate the idea of putting him on medication and want to be absolutely sure that it is the correct way to help before we go down that route.
AMLK - if you are very concerned then you need to call out the CAMHS crisis team - we have one in our area. When my youngest started saying those kind of things he subsequently made an attempt. Im NOT saying thats what is going to happen here but its best to have a professional make an assessment.
In our case within about 2 hours of the call we had a team of 4 at our house to talk to him. Sadly this led to him having to be taken to a secure unit for 2 months for his own safety so push hard and get help now before things escalate.
GP is the right route but speak plainly tell your GP what has been said, dont soften it , be brutal and honest then you will get the help.
And hold on to the thought that things will get better, I've been through this with both my sons , dark times but now they have come out the other side.
In our case within about 2 hours of the call we had a team of 4 at our house to talk to him. Sadly this led to him having to be taken to a secure unit for 2 months for his own safety so push hard and get help now before things escalate.
GP is the right route but speak plainly tell your GP what has been said, dont soften it , be brutal and honest then you will get the help.
And hold on to the thought that things will get better, I've been through this with both my sons , dark times but now they have come out the other side.
Thanks guys for your support.
Now I have spoken to her I don't think she will go through with anything at the moment, but I will be erring on the side of caution and not leaving her on her own. I will meet her from school as opposed to allowing her to walk home on her own.
I have just spoken to a locum GP - he wants one of our regular GPs to see her in the surgery tomorrow. Unfortunately of the GPs that know of our problems, one has just left, one doesn't work a Friday and one is off sick!! They will assess her and consider an urgent referral to CAHMS. My husband has told his work and is taking tomorrow off, he works from home so is around anyway at least. Hopefully things can only get better from here now we have finally got Anna talking.
Thanks again for you support and advice, and for being my sounding board.
Now I have spoken to her I don't think she will go through with anything at the moment, but I will be erring on the side of caution and not leaving her on her own. I will meet her from school as opposed to allowing her to walk home on her own.
I have just spoken to a locum GP - he wants one of our regular GPs to see her in the surgery tomorrow. Unfortunately of the GPs that know of our problems, one has just left, one doesn't work a Friday and one is off sick!! They will assess her and consider an urgent referral to CAHMS. My husband has told his work and is taking tomorrow off, he works from home so is around anyway at least. Hopefully things can only get better from here now we have finally got Anna talking.
Thanks again for you support and advice, and for being my sounding board.
Thanks, but many apologies oldbanger - I haven't received your PM, I had forgotten to update my email address on here, sorry. I have requested the change now.
We took her to the GP on Fri am and the GP was very good with her, although she refused to say much at all and left most of it to me. The GP tried to ask her in an indirect manner whether she has thought of methods or tried anything, but my daughter said she didn't understand. When we came of the surgery Anna admitted to me that she had made a plan on how she would kill herself, and that she had nearly gone through with it twice. Needless to say when I got home I rang the GP back to inform them. She has been given an urgent referral to CAMHS and we have another appointment to see our regular GP next Fri. She has also been told of a website called Moodcafe to try.
I have told the school and they are going to do what they can from their side. She appears to have now confided in one of her friends, so the teacher has asked permission to contact their parents to inform them and offer support to their child too. I have agreed as that is a hell of a responsibility for a 10 year to take on. I have also suggested to her teacher to inform one of the other teachers as my daughter is very good friends with her daughter.
Anna had a couple of friends round yesterday. I had a quick chat to the friend she has confided in and the teacher has spoken to her mum. The girl is fine and happy to help us, bless her. I also had a chat with her other friends mum (who I don't really know) to let her know what is going on. She was incredibly supportive, apparently she has been though something similar with her elder son last year. She has offered her support to us, and also reassured us that the high school we have applied to has been fantastic with her son (they changed schools to there because the previous school did sod all for him).
My next dilemma is whether to tell my boss. I feel I need to as I may need parental or carers leave at some point, but there are a few issues. Firstly tomorrow will only be my 3rd week back at work after 5 months off, and I am still on a phased return, and not on full duties and unlikely to return to full duties. Secondly she has no idea that I suffer from depression myself. She doesn't understand depression and has discriminated against my colleagues who have admitted to her that they suffer. She almost refused a promotion to one of them, and has been negative towards another (who is currently off sick following a failed suicide attempt - which our boss doesn't know - the sick line just says depression, although she may have guessed)
I am still struggling with it all, and fear this may tip me over the edge, but I am trying to stay strong but it is hard. I told my parents last night (they had just got back from holiday), and that was really difficult, same with telling my sister. My daughter does not want any other family to know (she is only really close to my parents), which is going to be really hard as we are due to be spending Easter with the in-laws.
Sorry for another negative post. I hope everyone else is having a better time.
We took her to the GP on Fri am and the GP was very good with her, although she refused to say much at all and left most of it to me. The GP tried to ask her in an indirect manner whether she has thought of methods or tried anything, but my daughter said she didn't understand. When we came of the surgery Anna admitted to me that she had made a plan on how she would kill herself, and that she had nearly gone through with it twice. Needless to say when I got home I rang the GP back to inform them. She has been given an urgent referral to CAMHS and we have another appointment to see our regular GP next Fri. She has also been told of a website called Moodcafe to try.
I have told the school and they are going to do what they can from their side. She appears to have now confided in one of her friends, so the teacher has asked permission to contact their parents to inform them and offer support to their child too. I have agreed as that is a hell of a responsibility for a 10 year to take on. I have also suggested to her teacher to inform one of the other teachers as my daughter is very good friends with her daughter.
Anna had a couple of friends round yesterday. I had a quick chat to the friend she has confided in and the teacher has spoken to her mum. The girl is fine and happy to help us, bless her. I also had a chat with her other friends mum (who I don't really know) to let her know what is going on. She was incredibly supportive, apparently she has been though something similar with her elder son last year. She has offered her support to us, and also reassured us that the high school we have applied to has been fantastic with her son (they changed schools to there because the previous school did sod all for him).
My next dilemma is whether to tell my boss. I feel I need to as I may need parental or carers leave at some point, but there are a few issues. Firstly tomorrow will only be my 3rd week back at work after 5 months off, and I am still on a phased return, and not on full duties and unlikely to return to full duties. Secondly she has no idea that I suffer from depression myself. She doesn't understand depression and has discriminated against my colleagues who have admitted to her that they suffer. She almost refused a promotion to one of them, and has been negative towards another (who is currently off sick following a failed suicide attempt - which our boss doesn't know - the sick line just says depression, although she may have guessed)
I am still struggling with it all, and fear this may tip me over the edge, but I am trying to stay strong but it is hard. I told my parents last night (they had just got back from holiday), and that was really difficult, same with telling my sister. My daughter does not want any other family to know (she is only really close to my parents), which is going to be really hard as we are due to be spending Easter with the in-laws.
Sorry for another negative post. I hope everyone else is having a better time.
Thanks oldbanger - unfortunately I haven't received it again as they managed to spell my email address wrong!! It is now correct.
As a general Anna seems to be doing better, I think now she is sometimes talking things are a bit better. Though she did have a complete meltdown last night. I had to physically restrain her as I was scared she was going to do something stupid. They had the national schools rotary quiz last night and her team didn't do as well as expected. She felt worthless because she said she thought she was clever but this proves that she is useless and will never be good at anything, so what was the point in living. With the help of my mum on the phone we managed to get her to calm down eventually. It was a real battle to get her to school today as she was so embarrassed. We went to see the head first thing and she was fantastic, saying how proud she was of her, for their team work last night and for many other things she is doing well at. They will keep a close eye on her today as she is still rather fragile.
On the positive side, she generally has a better attitude towards me. This make life so much more bearable, my tears now are purely for her pain.
I hope we get our referral soon, I hate seeing her so down on herself. When I try and say positive things to her she thinks I am only saying them because I am her Mum, so she has a tendency not to believe me. We are back at the GP tomorrow so hopefully they may have news.
As a general Anna seems to be doing better, I think now she is sometimes talking things are a bit better. Though she did have a complete meltdown last night. I had to physically restrain her as I was scared she was going to do something stupid. They had the national schools rotary quiz last night and her team didn't do as well as expected. She felt worthless because she said she thought she was clever but this proves that she is useless and will never be good at anything, so what was the point in living. With the help of my mum on the phone we managed to get her to calm down eventually. It was a real battle to get her to school today as she was so embarrassed. We went to see the head first thing and she was fantastic, saying how proud she was of her, for their team work last night and for many other things she is doing well at. They will keep a close eye on her today as she is still rather fragile.
On the positive side, she generally has a better attitude towards me. This make life so much more bearable, my tears now are purely for her pain.
I hope we get our referral soon, I hate seeing her so down on herself. When I try and say positive things to her she thinks I am only saying them because I am her Mum, so she has a tendency not to believe me. We are back at the GP tomorrow so hopefully they may have news.
Thanks for the pm oldbanger, I have requested to join the group.
The GP was fantastic with her, and said she will see her anytime for a chat til we get the referral if my daughter wants to. Bit annoyed we still haven't heard from CAMHS, so much for urgent.
The paediatrician has sent my GPS an email which she forwarded to me. It apologises that there is a long wait for the ASCA assessment, but she has sent a list of websites we might find useful.
The GP was fantastic with her, and said she will see her anytime for a chat til we get the referral if my daughter wants to. Bit annoyed we still haven't heard from CAMHS, so much for urgent.
The paediatrician has sent my GPS an email which she forwarded to me. It apologises that there is a long wait for the ASCA assessment, but she has sent a list of websites we might find useful.
The curly hair project has also been a great help by the way
http://thegirlwiththecurlyhair.co.uk
Glad to be of help
http://thegirlwiththecurlyhair.co.uk
Glad to be of help
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