Death of my daughter

[TVR1]

Hey all.

I read this post all the time and sometimes embarrassed that i let myself out. But above all, I want to thank all of you who cared.

Yup, it’s that day again. I’m just thinking about them.

Anyone going through this experience? Message me.

I’ll hold your hand.

• normal life I’m not like this.

[TGCOTF-dewey]

Don't be embarrassed... If your experiences helps someone else at some point, it's worth any perceived embarrassment.

Anniversaries like that are just awful, and nothing anyone says helps... You have my sympathies. Had a similar one on Thursday last week. Friday's hangover was painful.

[Countdown]

TVR1 said:

Hey all.

I read this post all the time and sometimes embarrassed that i let myself out. But above all, I want to thank all of you who cared.

Yup, it’s that day again. I’m just thinking about them.

Anyone going through this experience? Message me.

I’ll hold your hand.

• normal life I’m not like this.

Nothing to be embarassed about. All the best

[The Rotrex Kid]

As has been said, nothing to be embarrassed about. PH certainly has its moments of utter despair but you better believe there are people here who do give a damn!

[Mammasaid]

OP, just read through the whole of the thread having not seen it before.

Can I just give you (and your family) all of my condolences, these last 7 years cannot of been easy at all.

Unfortunately this won't apply for you, however it may be of use to others, if bereaved parents lose a baby before 24 weeks of pregnancy in England, they can now receive a certificate in recognition of their loss if the baby was 'lost' after September 2018.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-68353310

(if the mods think this is inappropriate, please remove)

And as others have said, there's no need to be embarrassed, it takes bravery to do this.

[Petrus1983]

I'm sitting in a pub in Wales with full on tears in my eyes. Yesterday I was thinking about how unfair it is I don't get to see my son as much as I want to - now feel like a selfish bd. Hope you're ok OP.

[Angerthemonkey]

You have broader shoulders than me OP.

So sorry for your loss.

[d_a_n1979]

Like a lot of others; I've just come across this thread and I'm sat in my living room trying to stave off the tears...

My wife & I haven't been lucky enough to have children, we tried but it didn't work & we decided to leave it at that

I'm sorry for your loss and the pain you went through

I hope all is as well as it can be now for you all

All my best

[White-Noise]

I'm sorry to see this thread. Must be absolutely brutal for you guys. I hope time has at least made it more bearable.

[CharlesdeGaulle]

I don't think I've posted here before but it was in my watch list and I've followed it from the start. As others have said, it's been really sad and has made me cry every time it's popped up.

You've been immensely strong TVR1, and I wish you and your family happiness. You'll never forget the girls you lost and it has clearly changed you all, but please do continue to share and vent here.

Edited by CharlesdeGaulle on Sunday 7th April 15:53

[Getragdogleg]

17th of March is our sad date, its when our little one died, its been 11 years since and I still feel deep sadness on that day.

Time dulls the blades edge but its never dull enough not to cut.

[Fermit]

Petrus1983 said:

I'm sitting in a pub in Wales with full on tears in my eyes. Yesterday I was thinking about how unfair it is I don't get to see my son as much as I want to - now feel like a selfish bd. Hope you're ok OP.

In fairness Petrus, your woe still exists. Having it whilst still holding compassion for the OP doesn't make you selfish.

[CallThatMusic]

There are some great people on here.
I’ve just been reminded.
Thinking of you TVR1….

[Leithen]

Good to see you post TVR1.

Getragdogleg, posts like yours and threads like this give most of us, especially parents, reason to think hard about the vagaries of life.

[Jamescrs]

Hope you are doing ok TVR1,

I went through the same in July 2016 and I know first hand it never gets easier, I still think about my daughter every day in many ways.

My best wishes to you

[Petrus1983]

Fermit said:

Petrus1983 said:

I'm sitting in a pub in Wales with full on tears in my eyes. Yesterday I was thinking about how unfair it is I don't get to see my son as much as I want to - now feel like a selfish bd. Hope you're ok OP.

In fairness Petrus, your woe still exists. Having it whilst still holding compassion for the OP doesn't make you selfish.

Kind words Fermit, thanks.

[Gary C]

Fermit said:

Petrus1983 said:

I'm sitting in a pub in Wales with full on tears in my eyes. Yesterday I was thinking about how unfair it is I don't get to see my son as much as I want to - now feel like a selfish bd. Hope you're ok OP.

In fairness Petrus, your woe still exists. Having it whilst still holding compassion for the OP doesn't make you selfish.

Well said.

[TVR1]

Mammasaid said:

OP, just read through the whole of the thread having not seen it before.

Can I just give you (and your family) all of my condolences, these last 7 years cannot of been easy at all.

Unfortunately this won't apply for you, however it may be of use to others, if bereaved parents lose a baby before 24 weeks of pregnancy in England, they can now receive a certificate in recognition of their loss if the baby was 'lost' after September 2018.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-68353310

(if the mods think this is inappropriate, please remove)

And as others have said, there's no need to be embarrassed, it takes bravery to do this.

Thank you. It’s not changed much. Just subtle differences. The problem at the time wasn’t 24 weeks as that could also be a miscarriage. Before 24 weeks, back then, it was automatically a ‘non birth’ as not alive. Spent 4 months or so arguing the point. Hence the funeral is a lot later than was expected. Only way to find out for sure was an autopsy. If they were breathing on their own or not. But ultimately. No way were they going to have that and all it entails.

[TVR1]

Fermit said:

In fairness Petrus, your woe still exists. Having it whilst still holding compassion for the OP doesn't make you selfish.

Oh Fermit. We talked so often. Feeling so much Love for you. How’s life?

[Gary C]

Mammasaid said:

OP, just read through the whole of the thread having not seen it before.

Can I just give you (and your family) all of my condolences, these last 7 years cannot of been easy at all.

Unfortunately this won't apply for you, however it may be of use to others, if bereaved parents lose a baby before 24 weeks of pregnancy in England, they can now receive a certificate in recognition of their loss if the baby was 'lost' after September 2018.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-68353310

My wife and I talked about this for our two but in the end didn't feel it would change anything for us personally but I can see it may help others. It does however help people talk about things which is actually (in contrast to my upbringing which was a very 50's 'least said, soonest mended' household) for the good.