Help with elderly relatives - Parkinson's + Dementia issues?
Discussion
I'm rather shocked homes are having sellers in to make such money from, let's face it, people who can't tell if it's a good thing or not. 
MIL's home has a hair salon which is open Mon/Tue ea. week, and a visiting chiropodist, which gets billed separately than the care fees, which are paid by DD. From what I've seen, I don't *think* they have any sales stuff going on.
In other news, I'm informed
the house sale is progressing. Buyers have their mortgage approved and the conveyancing malarkey's underway. Mrs RC needs to get the house emptied very soon.... and since I've a lot of L/H business travel coming up, that's going to prove tricky, so I suspect a LOT will be done via a house clearance company.
(There's little now, thankfully, that will go into storage.)
Book's still not been finished, TooMany - half way through it.
MIL's home has a hair salon which is open Mon/Tue ea. week, and a visiting chiropodist, which gets billed separately than the care fees, which are paid by DD. From what I've seen, I don't *think* they have any sales stuff going on.
In other news, I'm informed
the house sale is progressing. Buyers have their mortgage approved and the conveyancing malarkey's underway. Mrs RC needs to get the house emptied very soon.... and since I've a lot of L/H business travel coming up, that's going to prove tricky, so I suspect a LOT will be done via a house clearance company.(There's little now, thankfully, that will go into storage.)
Book's still not been finished, TooMany - half way through it.
TooMany2cvs said:
RC1807 said:
Book's still not been finished, TooMany - half way through it.
Helping?BTW, did we all hear...? http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b09qcbst
Sorry again to read that from someone else - and it truly sounds like you live up to your username.
We treid getting my inlaws to downsize about 15 year ago, when my MIL was coming up to retirement, and her having recovered from 2 bouts of breast cancer, but they wouldn't .... it wasn't as if they were surrounded by friends/family even then. I never understood it.
My mum and step dad (in their 70s), however, now live in a purpose built block of 12 or so apartments, and they LOVE it. The neighbours always have get togethers, coffees, etc. Seems a shame when older folk shut themselves away and almost seem to give up such a lot of things.
In other news. outlaws' house sale is progressing, and the purchasers are pushing for completion before Easter. My wife's heading over for 10-14 days to pack everything up when I get back from my next L/H business trip in 3 weeks.
MIL's not being told about any of that. She can't deal with it, still thinking her husband's at home waiting for her to return from wherever it is she is now....
We treid getting my inlaws to downsize about 15 year ago, when my MIL was coming up to retirement, and her having recovered from 2 bouts of breast cancer, but they wouldn't .... it wasn't as if they were surrounded by friends/family even then. I never understood it.
My mum and step dad (in their 70s), however, now live in a purpose built block of 12 or so apartments, and they LOVE it. The neighbours always have get togethers, coffees, etc. Seems a shame when older folk shut themselves away and almost seem to give up such a lot of things.
In other news. outlaws' house sale is progressing, and the purchasers are pushing for completion before Easter. My wife's heading over for 10-14 days to pack everything up when I get back from my next L/H business trip in 3 weeks.
MIL's not being told about any of that. She can't deal with it, still thinking her husband's at home waiting for her to return from wherever it is she is now....
aeropilot said:
RC1807 said:
MIL's not being told about any of that. (
(MIL is being more involved in the home's activities, which we see on their FB page, but she forgets a bit about that)
House sale completes the day before Good Friday.
My wife's now back in the UK to pack up the house contents, clear out as much as possible, put as little as possible into storage, move her Mum's clothes, as needed, to the care home.
(I still think too much is going into storage, but I'm not the decision maker.)
MIL seems more settled in the home, but continues to forget her husband's not at home waiting for her to return, which will continue for the foreseeable, I suspect.
She's also not putting her clothes in the laundry service, so the carers took EVERYTHING out of her room and had the whole lot washed, dried, pressed and returned the same day. She's not forgetting to shower and do her hair every day....
Probate's awaited for some of FIL's pension and lump sum pay outs, but should be resolved soon.
My wife's not looking forward to seeing her Mum this week as it remains very stressful for MrsRC. Will have to see how that goes for her next face-to-face on Thursday.
My wife's now back in the UK to pack up the house contents, clear out as much as possible, put as little as possible into storage, move her Mum's clothes, as needed, to the care home.
(I still think too much is going into storage, but I'm not the decision maker.)
MIL seems more settled in the home, but continues to forget her husband's not at home waiting for her to return, which will continue for the foreseeable, I suspect.
She's also not putting her clothes in the laundry service, so the carers took EVERYTHING out of her room and had the whole lot washed, dried, pressed and returned the same day. She's not forgetting to shower and do her hair every day....
Probate's awaited for some of FIL's pension and lump sum pay outs, but should be resolved soon.
My wife's not looking forward to seeing her Mum this week as it remains very stressful for MrsRC. Will have to see how that goes for her next face-to-face on Thursday.
That is a coincidence!
Good news, "bad news".
Good news
BREAKTHROUGH !!
My wife's having more stuff removed and sold than stored
My folks helped packing and with charity shop trips and dump trips today
Can't believe how much stuff was still in the house!
"Bad news"
HEATING is playing up, 10 days before completion, with exchange due to take place on Friday. Oh, well. It'll be fixed!
ETA: fixed!!
Good news, "bad news".
Good news
BREAKTHROUGH !!
My wife's having more stuff removed and sold than stored
My folks helped packing and with charity shop trips and dump trips today
Can't believe how much stuff was still in the house!
"Bad news"
HEATING is playing up, 10 days before completion, with exchange due to take place on Friday. Oh, well. It'll be fixed!
ETA: fixed!!
Edited by RC1807 on Saturday 24th March 12:59
Contracts should have been exchanged this week for completion on Thursday. It didn't happen.
Complications with the first party in the chain.
Anyway, the buyers of the Romsey residence have identified me from PH and told my wife that today.
So, "hello house buyers! We hope your purchaser gees along now."
Complications with the first party in the chain.
Anyway, the buyers of the Romsey residence have identified me from PH and told my wife that today.
So, "hello house buyers! We hope your purchaser gees along now."
I commented on the "how long to complete" thread in the Homes and Gardens section, and, as they say, the clues were there through a number of coincidences.
Anyway...
My wife took the opportunity yesterday to clear out her Mum's room at the care home. She's become quite the magpie / kleptomaniac it seems .... TONS of stuff stashed away, from carers' supplies to other peoples' belongings, even their spectacles!
It's clear to all that her dementia's increasing, and at quite a rate. Deprivation of liberty is to be extended, and the nurses believe that this will not prove a problem with the noted behaviour and confusion issues. Not sure if that can be made a permanent order now?
Feeling very sorry that my wife's having to deal with this rather alone at the moment, which is tough for all of us, but we 3 at home have work and school.
Thank goodness for FaceTime.
Anyway...
My wife took the opportunity yesterday to clear out her Mum's room at the care home. She's become quite the magpie / kleptomaniac it seems .... TONS of stuff stashed away, from carers' supplies to other peoples' belongings, even their spectacles!
It's clear to all that her dementia's increasing, and at quite a rate. Deprivation of liberty is to be extended, and the nurses believe that this will not prove a problem with the noted behaviour and confusion issues. Not sure if that can be made a permanent order now?
Feeling very sorry that my wife's having to deal with this rather alone at the moment, which is tough for all of us, but we 3 at home have work and school.
Thank goodness for FaceTime.
Thanks aeropilot
All MIL's clothes, everything, now has a label in it, if only to ensure when it's washed, it comes back, too. Not all her socks were, so a load have been purchased and now labelled by my wife. Lovely job!
The carers don't know when or how she's accumulating all thus stuff, but they do try and retrieve things when she's out of her room.
For the DoL, I understand the local borough council wanted to play it safe to begin with. It's now clear it should be made permanent. (1 hour out of the home and she's forgotten which room is hers.)
All MIL's clothes, everything, now has a label in it, if only to ensure when it's washed, it comes back, too. Not all her socks were, so a load have been purchased and now labelled by my wife. Lovely job!
The carers don't know when or how she's accumulating all thus stuff, but they do try and retrieve things when she's out of her room.
For the DoL, I understand the local borough council wanted to play it safe to begin with. It's now clear it should be made permanent. (1 hour out of the home and she's forgotten which room is hers.)
Quick comments:
STILL waiting on FIL's probate to finalise some finance topics.
Sunday: Auntie phoned her sister (MIL) and got an earful for being locked away. Must get home. Why am I here? etc.
Monday: Mrs RC phoned her Mum as it was her birthday. Perfectly OK, no moans or groans, no mention of her husband "being around somewhere..." or "having buggered off somewhere...", that's been heard in recent weeks.
Mood and temperament switch so easily from one day to the next, it seems. Going to be a few months now until we get back to Bormuff to see her.
DOL update / renewal due soon. I don't think there will be any problems in having that made permanent. The home's nurses are keeping very detailed records. (Think I commented on that before? Now I'm forgetting things.)
STILL waiting on FIL's probate to finalise some finance topics.
Sunday: Auntie phoned her sister (MIL) and got an earful for being locked away. Must get home. Why am I here? etc.
Monday: Mrs RC phoned her Mum as it was her birthday. Perfectly OK, no moans or groans, no mention of her husband "being around somewhere..." or "having buggered off somewhere...", that's been heard in recent weeks.
Mood and temperament switch so easily from one day to the next, it seems. Going to be a few months now until we get back to Bormuff to see her.
DOL update / renewal due soon. I don't think there will be any problems in having that made permanent. The home's nurses are keeping very detailed records. (Think I commented on that before? Now I'm forgetting things.)
TooMany: the lashing out is something that a care home assessor witnessed with my FIL, before we moved them to Bormuff. I don't think any of us can comprehend the amoutn of frustration dementia sufferers must have, or how they perceive things. Everyone's different.
As for not wanting to participate in activities, my MIL's been like that, but she does as we see the home's posts and pics on Facebook.
Sorry you had to go all that way for a stupid authorisation to take a photo they'd already done. A postage stamp's MUCH cheaper, surely?!
For us, the house sale's slowed.
The purchaser's own buyer (1st in the chain) kind of let them down now, but we've no hurry to complete.
STILL waiting on sodding Probate to finalise FIL's finances.
As for not wanting to participate in activities, my MIL's been like that, but she does as we see the home's posts and pics on Facebook.
Sorry you had to go all that way for a stupid authorisation to take a photo they'd already done. A postage stamp's MUCH cheaper, surely?!
For us, the house sale's slowed.
The purchaser's own buyer (1st in the chain) kind of let them down now, but we've no hurry to complete.
STILL waiting on sodding Probate to finalise FIL's finances.
So sorry, TooMany.
He's better off in the nursing home than the sparse surroundings of a hospital ward, IMHO.
I'm also very sorry too that your brother's not taking any interest.
Best wishes to you, mate. You've done a heck of a lot.
(My BIL has been in regular contact with his Mum, although she doesn't remember. Regular emails between siblings, so greatly improved since FIL's funeral.)
He's better off in the nursing home than the sparse surroundings of a hospital ward, IMHO.
I'm also very sorry too that your brother's not taking any interest.
Best wishes to you, mate. You've done a heck of a lot.
(My BIL has been in regular contact with his Mum, although she doesn't remember. Regular emails between siblings, so greatly improved since FIL's funeral.)
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