Help with elderly relatives - Parkinson's + Dementia issues?
Discussion
TooMany2cvs said:
guy_spyder550 said:
conversation from her quickly moves to talking about imaginary children she can see.
Has Lewy Body been mentioned yet?Think it was mentioned to my sister
guy_spyder550 said:
Folk have mentioned both the power of attorneys (Heath & Finances) my sister and myself hold for mum end when she passes away. What will occur at this point?
Her will takes over. Who's executor? Does she have a will? What is there to be gathered and distributed?guy_spyder550 said:
Mum has a paid for funeral plan, but what else would or might need to be paid for ?
How long's a piece of string? It all depends on how big a bash you want to put on for her, really. The funeral plan will pay a certain amount of money, probably - it's just an insurance product.If all her ducks are in a row generally, then there's fairly minimal going to need doing apart from that - and you can get started under the PoA by making sure you know what and where everything is, and that all her account providers/insurers etc know who you are. The care home will probably give you a fairly finite time to get her effects cleared - after all, somebody else's parent needs their care.
As far as big bash, we are only a small family anyway so just a few close friends and relatives.
Do we have to involve a solicitor if so can we put money aside for it up front, which will get then taken out of the equation for her care which she self funds
guy_spyder550 said:
Do we have to involve a solicitor
No.If the will names a sol as the executor, though, you might need to at least pay something to get them to hand over to you.
guy_spyder550 said:
if so can we put money aside for it up front, which will get then taken out of the equation for her care which she self funds
She stops self-funding way before she's totally potless anyway.TooMany2cvs said:
guy_spyder550 said:
Do we have to involve a solicitor
No.If the will names a sol as the executor, though, you might need to at least pay something to get them to hand over to you.
FIL's "estate" went to probate, and we've given the solicitor that to deal with.
Since FIL only had cash and pensions, it's pretty academic this will all be handed over to MIL soon. Did have the case of a couple of single life annuitiies that were paid after the date of his death, so those had to be returned, otherwise we're simply waiting on others to do their bit now to finalise the £.
My wife found Christmas tough, knowing her Mum didn't want to be where she was, but also that her Dad wasn't there with her Mum. MIL's sister and her husband visited the carehome on Christmas Day to see MIL and joined everyone else for lunch. Seen pics. Looked lovely!
In other news: inlaws' house went on the market today with an open day on Saturday. There are already loads of interested parties ahead of the listing.
Hope to offload that quickly and without too much hassle.
*fingers crossed*
Since FIL only had cash and pensions, it's pretty academic this will all be handed over to MIL soon. Did have the case of a couple of single life annuitiies that were paid after the date of his death, so those had to be returned, otherwise we're simply waiting on others to do their bit now to finalise the £.
My wife found Christmas tough, knowing her Mum didn't want to be where she was, but also that her Dad wasn't there with her Mum. MIL's sister and her husband visited the carehome on Christmas Day to see MIL and joined everyone else for lunch. Seen pics. Looked lovely!
In other news: inlaws' house went on the market today with an open day on Saturday. There are already loads of interested parties ahead of the listing.
Hope to offload that quickly and without too much hassle.
*fingers crossed*Went to see my old man yesterday, and had a good chat with the carers... He's basically living in the chair in his room, including sleeping in it - he's not got into bed for weeks. He's wearing his big outdoor coat all the time, even though he keeps the thermostat in his room as high as it'll go. So, of course, when he DOES go outside (hospital appt last week), he complains of being bloody freezing. When he sleeps, he pulls the coat up over his head. He refuses any help with dressing or personal hygiene, "I want to be independent, damn it!", which is why he'd got two pairs of trousers on - both inside out - with his foot through a hole in the knee of the outer pair. He'd got one slipper and sock on, and the other foot waving in the air, bare - I found the other slipper underneath his broken tv.
And, of course, the carers can't force him to do anything he doesn't want to do...
When we left, he tried to get out of the chair to see us out - but just didn't seem to have the strength, even with a helping hand under his arm.
And, of course, the carers can't force him to do anything he doesn't want to do...
When we left, he tried to get out of the chair to see us out - but just didn't seem to have the strength, even with a helping hand under his arm.
My FIL was like that, hence when one nursing home came to assess him when he was in the care home, they said he was "too difficult". It was frustration at the indignity of Parkinson's, and what comes with it.
I'm sorry, Toomany
We now see my MIL getting more invoved in activities at the home, from their FB page, and they've also bought a piano, so that may save us having to lug hers to Bormuff as she's been filmed playing the one at the home.
Romsey house viewings: all 7 showed up on Saturday. Agent sent an email saying "I expect a few offers will be made on Monday", ... let's see.
My wife will go back to the UK in a couple of weeks, before all my business travel kicks off again.
I'm sorry, Toomany
We now see my MIL getting more invoved in activities at the home, from their FB page, and they've also bought a piano, so that may save us having to lug hers to Bormuff as she's been filmed playing the one at the home.
Romsey house viewings: all 7 showed up on Saturday. Agent sent an email saying "I expect a few offers will be made on Monday", ... let's see.
My wife will go back to the UK in a couple of weeks, before all my business travel kicks off again.
No house offers yet. 3 couples still interested, my wife's told.
Anywhoooo, wife and aunt spent ages on the phone to each other yesterday recounting conversations they'd had with MIL. They're still spending too much time justifying things to someone who really doesn't understand the world around her 100% now. Care home still haven't received the Deprevation of Liberty, whilst MIL tells them she wants to go home - threatening to order a taxi. They need to get a shift on or we'll all be screwed!
Anyway, I've been asked to butt out as it's not my Mum. So there.
Anywhoooo, wife and aunt spent ages on the phone to each other yesterday recounting conversations they'd had with MIL. They're still spending too much time justifying things to someone who really doesn't understand the world around her 100% now. Care home still haven't received the Deprevation of Liberty, whilst MIL tells them she wants to go home - threatening to order a taxi. They need to get a shift on or we'll all be screwed!
Anyway, I've been asked to butt out as it's not my Mum. So there.
RC1807 said:
Anywhoooo, wife and aunt spent ages on the phone to each other yesterday recounting conversations they'd had with MIL. They're still spending too much time justifying things to someone who really doesn't understand the world around her 100% now.
It is very hard to re-programme your brain to adjust to that with someone you've known your whole life, who in effect has become a stranger almost overnight.However, its something they must learn to do as soon as possible for their own sanity!
RC1807 said:
Care home still haven't received the Deprevation of Liberty, whilst MIL tells them she wants to go home - threatening to order a taxi. They need to get a shift on or we'll all be screwed!
That's not good, I seem to recall, the care home my Mum went into had that in place within a month of her going in!RC1807 said:
Anyway, I've been asked to butt out as it's not my Mum. So there.
Not helpful, but, I trust you'll remember this when the missus asks you to do something for the MiL next, and you can say no, as she told you to butt out its not your Mum....... 
aeropilot said:
RC1807 said:
Care home still haven't received the Deprevation of Liberty, whilst MIL tells them she wants to go home - threatening to order a taxi. They need to get a shift on or we'll all be screwed!
That's not good, I seem to recall, the care home my Mum went into had that in place within a month of her going in!TooMany2cvs said:
aeropilot said:
RC1807 said:
Care home still haven't received the Deprevation of Liberty, whilst MIL tells them she wants to go home - threatening to order a taxi. They need to get a shift on or we'll all be screwed!
That's not good, I seem to recall, the care home my Mum went into had that in place within a month of her going in!aeropilot said:
TooMany2cvs said:
aeropilot said:
RC1807 said:
Care home still haven't received the Deprevation of Liberty, whilst MIL tells them she wants to go home - threatening to order a taxi. They need to get a shift on or we'll all be screwed!
That's not good, I seem to recall, the care home my Mum went into had that in place within a month of her going in!TooMany2cvs said:
aeropilot said:
TooMany2cvs said:
aeropilot said:
RC1807 said:
Care home still haven't received the Deprevation of Liberty, whilst MIL tells them she wants to go home - threatening to order a taxi. They need to get a shift on or we'll all be screwed!
That's not good, I seem to recall, the care home my Mum went into had that in place within a month of her going in!aeropilot said:
TooMany2cvs said:
aeropilot said:
TooMany2cvs said:
aeropilot said:
RC1807 said:
Care home still haven't received the Deprevation of Liberty, whilst MIL tells them she wants to go home - threatening to order a taxi. They need to get a shift on or we'll all be screwed!
That's not good, I seem to recall, the care home my Mum went into had that in place within a month of her going in!Father in law had massive stroke, fell over, knocked himself unconscious. Had surgery (internal bleeding in the brain) but never woke up. 76 years old
He had been active (cycling, walking, was looking to buy a new house, just come back from trip to Australia ) right until the last day, and would have hated being wheel chair bound. So, he was a cool bloke, and I will miss him, but I am happy in a way that he went out fast
He had been active (cycling, walking, was looking to buy a new house, just come back from trip to Australia ) right until the last day, and would have hated being wheel chair bound. So, he was a cool bloke, and I will miss him, but I am happy in a way that he went out fast
TooMany2cvs said:
Reading up, I wonder if that was done as part of the best interests process. Hmm.
Don't have time to trawl back through thread to see if you have LPA or not?Seem to recall you do, in which case you should have been sent a copy of the signed court documentation once granted by the courts, as I had a copy sent to me by the local authority..?
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