How did you know you wanted kids?

[Zod]

RogerExplosion said:

Good to hear others are similar to me. I feel worried that I'm not going to bond with my soon to be son. I'm sure I will as it just seems like something you do. For now I'm more concerned about finishing the kitchen renovations and clearing out the garage so me and a mate can start working on our $500 Peugeot 306 'race' car.

I'm 51, had the first at 38. I have boys aged 12 and 9 and a 7 year old daughter. I am as fit as when the first came along, because I don't want them to have an old Dad who can't ski, surf, swim etc with them.

I knew I wanted them, but it caused conflict because it turned out not to be easy. I worried that I wouldn't bond because, despite the bump, it just didn't seem real to me. The instant he appeared I loved him and that was that. When the second was on the way, I worried again, because I couldn't imagine how I could feel that much love for another child. Again, the instant he appeared, the worry seemed absurd. No such worries when my daughter turned up. If another comes along, he or she will be as desired and loved as the other three.

Edited by Zod on Tuesday 11th September 16:29

[seyre1972]

It’s not your choice - accept that fact and enjoy the ride(s) .....

Yes we’d discussed kids, and I thought I was just getting lucky more than usual ..... unfortunately I had good swimmers ....

[bobski1]

It seems that it isn't really a man things to get the need for it & most go along.

I just think it would be bad to go for it, have a rift & end up messing up the kid(s).

[vonuber]

I honestly only knew I wanted children when my first grabbed my finger when she was about a minute old.
Now I can't imagine life without the pair of them.

[Craikeybaby]

We discussed it early on in our relationship - we wanted to ait until our house renovation was mostly finished and we were married. It didn't take long after the wedding for our little boy to arrive. He is great, but I really didn't want another one. I wasn't ready, struggling with work-life balance etc. So the wife decided to stop taking the pill, not thinking that it was important to tell me. I naively thought my luck was in. #2 is due in the new year.

I'm just about coming round to the idea, especially after seeing the scan last week.

[Autopilot]

The Selfish Gene said:

I never wanted kids, and never will want them...........43 and no wife............(several long termers have upp'd stumps for this very reason.)

Best username and response yet

[RTB]

Craikeybaby said:

I'm just about coming round to the idea, especially after seeing the scan last week.

When you go from 0 to 1 you wonder where all your spare time went, when you go from 1 to 2 you wonder where all your spare time went.

Good luck with it all.

[TwigtheWonderkid]

Can't stand kids, never wanted kids, have no interest in kids.

Which is all a bit unfair on my kids, but they're used to it now.

[dandarez]

All you guys bragging 'I had my first...' I had my second...' etc

[TartanPaint]

On reddit this morning:


"I decided I didn't want kids, so I had a vasectomy. But when I got home they were still there..."

[Maxf]

hyphen said:

toon10 said:

Do men ever want kids?

Yup, me.

Always wanted kids, but then I am the happy to kneel down to their level and chat to them type, a lot of men do struggle to understand kids.

Me too. If you're not passing on the things you've learned and experienced, then what's the point to it all?

[RogerExplosion]

Some genuine laughs in the last few posts!!

[marksx]

How did I know? The wife told me so.

[K50 DEL]

The Selfish Gene said:

I never wanted kids, and never will want them...........43 and no wife............(several long termers have upp'd stumps for this very reason.)

Funny isn't it, I'm the opposite.... would love to have kids but have never found a woman I like enough to have them with.

[The Selfish Gene]

K50 DEL said:

The Selfish Gene said:

I never wanted kids, and never will want them...........43 and no wife............(several long termers have upp'd stumps for this very reason.)

Funny isn't it, I'm the opposite.... would love to have kids but have never found a woman I like enough to have them with.

to be fair...........I had that problem too. If I met the exact specification I want, and enough time past that I knew she wasn't a nut job, I may just consider it.

Probably too old now though.

[oceanview]

Maxf said:

Me too. If you're not passing on the things you've learned and experienced, then what's the point to it all?

Bit of a weird thing to say!


What about all the men who cant have kids or-like me- have never wanted them - should they all go and top themselves then?

[TwigtheWonderkid]

Maxf said:

If you're not passing on the things you've learned and experienced, then what's the point to it all?

I never passed any of that stuff on to my kids. I wanted them to be successful.

[oceanview]

Maxf said:

Me too. If you're not passing on the things you've learned and experienced, then what's the point to it all?

Bit of a weird thing to say!


What about all the men who cant have kids or-like me- have never wanted them - should they all go and top themselves then?

[xx99xx]

What's the point of life if you have no kids?! Well, there are many points. You could just enjoy yourself for a start. Some animals and insects die or get killed after mating. That is their only purpose in their short life, to reproduce. Humans are a bit more intelligent than insects though so our purpose in life is not just to reproduce.

You don't miss what you've never had. I would've been perfectly happy to live my life with no kids. Now that I have a kid, I'm still happy and wouldn't want to be without kid. I don't however feel more accomplished or more complete or superior. I feel lucky to have been able to have a healthy baby and one is enough for me (but not for the Mrs, but that's another thread).

[Zod]

dandarez said:

All you guys bragging 'I had my first...' I had my second...' etc

I never had you down as a feminist!