The autism thread
Discussion
We have 2 beautiful twin girls and a 3rd daughter. 1x with autism. Both twins now 15. Had posted before over the years as it has been very hard on the family.
quick summary of what I have learnt.
don't ever smack her. She wont understand. it wont help. it will make things worse. it makes you more angry that "normal " chastisement should work but isn't. Its a horrible things to learn that what you thought was the right thing to do was the opposite. I hate myself for smacking her now. It wont improve "her" behaviour it makes it worse as she does not understand.
She will need love, support, quiet time. More love. More quiet time.
Reassurance
Don't worry if rooms get trashed in anger by her - let her get it out of her system, love her, talk to her, give her her own space.
talk to your partner about your fears and other siblings. read books on autism - talk here on PH. My family was almost torn apart as we did not understand why she was behaving like she was. We didn't have a diagnosis until about 10 or 11
Excess stimulus can make her behaviour worse. Noise, people, lights, smells. Just be conscious that it may be over whelming for her. She will need a quiet place to calm down in.
Physical sports/activities can be very good as it gives an exhaust for pent up feelings, they can control the activity they feel safe doing it. ie walking, climbing etc. Do the activity with them. ps - Im now a good rock climber !! my daughter is brilliant at it.
They will be worried about too many choices you give them. They prefer certainty. Make the choices for them or give them limited choices so not to overwhelm.
Gently, calmly talk with them. love them. understand them.
Be careful about food - our daughter 2 yrs ago almost died because of an eating disorder. She was almost sectioned under the mental health act at 13. You can imagine the absolute terror we as a family faced and how scared our daughter was.
Climbing was her saviour and her reason to get better. She still struggles now but is much better.
Drawing, learning and climbing are her loves.
She loves our dog and the dog loves her without question - they have a special bond. We take our dog with daughter as an assistance dog to help her stay calm if needed not always but sometimes.
She will learn to help herself. She will learn to take herself to a quiet place to reset.
She is very bright and academic and artistic and loving in her own way. She is funny.
She is my beautiful daughter who I now adore.
quick summary of what I have learnt.
don't ever smack her. She wont understand. it wont help. it will make things worse. it makes you more angry that "normal " chastisement should work but isn't. Its a horrible things to learn that what you thought was the right thing to do was the opposite. I hate myself for smacking her now. It wont improve "her" behaviour it makes it worse as she does not understand.
She will need love, support, quiet time. More love. More quiet time.
Reassurance
Don't worry if rooms get trashed in anger by her - let her get it out of her system, love her, talk to her, give her her own space.
talk to your partner about your fears and other siblings. read books on autism - talk here on PH. My family was almost torn apart as we did not understand why she was behaving like she was. We didn't have a diagnosis until about 10 or 11
Excess stimulus can make her behaviour worse. Noise, people, lights, smells. Just be conscious that it may be over whelming for her. She will need a quiet place to calm down in.
Physical sports/activities can be very good as it gives an exhaust for pent up feelings, they can control the activity they feel safe doing it. ie walking, climbing etc. Do the activity with them. ps - Im now a good rock climber !! my daughter is brilliant at it.
They will be worried about too many choices you give them. They prefer certainty. Make the choices for them or give them limited choices so not to overwhelm.
Gently, calmly talk with them. love them. understand them.
Be careful about food - our daughter 2 yrs ago almost died because of an eating disorder. She was almost sectioned under the mental health act at 13. You can imagine the absolute terror we as a family faced and how scared our daughter was.
Climbing was her saviour and her reason to get better. She still struggles now but is much better.
Drawing, learning and climbing are her loves.
She loves our dog and the dog loves her without question - they have a special bond. We take our dog with daughter as an assistance dog to help her stay calm if needed not always but sometimes.
She will learn to help herself. She will learn to take herself to a quiet place to reset.
She is very bright and academic and artistic and loving in her own way. She is funny.
She is my beautiful daughter who I now adore.
Edited by superlightr on Thursday 7th November 15:11
superlightr said:
We have 2 beautiful twin girls and a 3rd daughter. 1x with autism. Both twins now 15. Had posted before over the years as it has been very hard on the family.
quick summary of what I have learnt.
don't ever smack her. She wont understand. it wont help. it will make things worse. it makes you more angry that "normal " chastisement should work but isn't. Its a horrible things to learn that what you thought was the right thing to do was the opposite. I hate myself for smacking her now. It wont improve "her" behaviour it makes it worse as she does not understand.
She will need love, support, quiet time. More love. More quiet time.
Reassurance
Don't worry if rooms get trashed in anger by her - let her get it out of her system, love her, talk to her, give her her own space.
talk to your partner about your fears and other siblings. read books on autism - talk here on PH. My family was almost torn apart as we did not understand why she was behaving like she was. We didn't have a diagnosis until about 10 or 11
Excess stimulus can make her behaviour worse. Noise, people, lights, smells. Just be conscious that it may be over whelming for her. She will need a quiet place to calm down in.
Physical sports/activities can be very good as it gives an exhaust for pent up feelings, they can control the activity they feel safe doing it. ie walking, climbing etc. Do the activity with them. ps - Im now a good rock climber !! my daughter is brilliant at it.
They will be worried about too many choices you give them. They prefer certainty. Make the choices for them or give them limited choices so not to overwhelm.
Gently, calmly talk with them. love them. understand them.
Be careful about food - our daughter 2 yrs ago almost died because of an eating disorder. She was almost sectioned under the mental health act at 13. You can imagine the absolute terror we as a family faced and how scared our daughter was.
Climbing was her saviour and her reason to get better. She still struggles now but is much better.
Drawing, learning and climbing are her loves.
She loves our dog and the dog loves her without question - they have a special bond. We take our dog with daughter as an assistance dog to help her stay calm if needed not always but sometimes.
She will learn to help herself. She will learn to take herself to a quiet place to reset.
She is very bright and academic and artistic and loving in her own way. She is funny.
She is my beautiful daughter who I now adore.
Excellent, well said you.quick summary of what I have learnt.
don't ever smack her. She wont understand. it wont help. it will make things worse. it makes you more angry that "normal " chastisement should work but isn't. Its a horrible things to learn that what you thought was the right thing to do was the opposite. I hate myself for smacking her now. It wont improve "her" behaviour it makes it worse as she does not understand.
She will need love, support, quiet time. More love. More quiet time.
Reassurance
Don't worry if rooms get trashed in anger by her - let her get it out of her system, love her, talk to her, give her her own space.
talk to your partner about your fears and other siblings. read books on autism - talk here on PH. My family was almost torn apart as we did not understand why she was behaving like she was. We didn't have a diagnosis until about 10 or 11
Excess stimulus can make her behaviour worse. Noise, people, lights, smells. Just be conscious that it may be over whelming for her. She will need a quiet place to calm down in.
Physical sports/activities can be very good as it gives an exhaust for pent up feelings, they can control the activity they feel safe doing it. ie walking, climbing etc. Do the activity with them. ps - Im now a good rock climber !! my daughter is brilliant at it.
They will be worried about too many choices you give them. They prefer certainty. Make the choices for them or give them limited choices so not to overwhelm.
Gently, calmly talk with them. love them. understand them.
Be careful about food - our daughter 2 yrs ago almost died because of an eating disorder. She was almost sectioned under the mental health act at 13. You can imagine the absolute terror we as a family faced and how scared our daughter was.
Climbing was her saviour and her reason to get better. She still struggles now but is much better.
Drawing, learning and climbing are her loves.
She loves our dog and the dog loves her without question - they have a special bond. We take our dog with daughter as an assistance dog to help her stay calm if needed not always but sometimes.
She will learn to help herself. She will learn to take herself to a quiet place to reset.
She is very bright and academic and artistic and loving in her own way. She is funny.
She is my beautiful daughter who I now adore.
Edited by superlightr on Thursday 7th November 15:11
superlightr said:
We have 2 beautiful twin girls and a 3rd daughter. 1x with autism. Both twins now 15. Had posted before over the years as it has been very hard on the family.
quick summary of what I have learnt.
don't ever smack her. She wont understand. it wont help. it will make things worse. it makes you more angry that "normal " chastisement should work but isn't. Its a horrible things to learn that what you thought was the right thing to do was the opposite. I hate myself for smacking her now. It wont improve "her" behaviour it makes it worse as she does not understand.
She will need love, support, quiet time. More love. More quiet time.
Reassurance
Don't worry if rooms get trashed in anger by her - let her get it out of her system, love her, talk to her, give her her own space.
talk to your partner about your fears and other siblings. read books on autism - talk here on PH. My family was almost torn apart as we did not understand why she was behaving like she was. We didn't have a diagnosis until about 10 or 11
Excess stimulus can make her behaviour worse. Noise, people, lights, smells. Just be conscious that it may be over whelming for her. She will need a quiet place to calm down in.
Physical sports/activities can be very good as it gives an exhaust for pent up feelings, they can control the activity they feel safe doing it. ie walking, climbing etc. Do the activity with them. ps - Im now a good rock climber !! my daughter is brilliant at it.
They will be worried about too many choices you give them. They prefer certainty. Make the choices for them or give them limited choices so not to overwhelm.
Gently, calmly talk with them. love them. understand them.
Be careful about food - our daughter 2 yrs ago almost died because of an eating disorder. She was almost sectioned under the mental health act at 13. You can imagine the absolute terror we as a family faced and how scared our daughter was.
Climbing was her saviour and her reason to get better. She still struggles now but is much better.
Drawing, learning and climbing are her loves.
She loves our dog and the dog loves her without question - they have a special bond. We take our dog with daughter as an assistance dog to help her stay calm if needed not always but sometimes.
She will learn to help herself. She will learn to take herself to a quiet place to reset.
She is very bright and academic and artistic and loving in her own way. She is funny.
She is my beautiful daughter who I now adore.
Many thanks for posting this, and for all other contributors to this thread. It really is very much appreciated.quick summary of what I have learnt.
don't ever smack her. She wont understand. it wont help. it will make things worse. it makes you more angry that "normal " chastisement should work but isn't. Its a horrible things to learn that what you thought was the right thing to do was the opposite. I hate myself for smacking her now. It wont improve "her" behaviour it makes it worse as she does not understand.
She will need love, support, quiet time. More love. More quiet time.
Reassurance
Don't worry if rooms get trashed in anger by her - let her get it out of her system, love her, talk to her, give her her own space.
talk to your partner about your fears and other siblings. read books on autism - talk here on PH. My family was almost torn apart as we did not understand why she was behaving like she was. We didn't have a diagnosis until about 10 or 11
Excess stimulus can make her behaviour worse. Noise, people, lights, smells. Just be conscious that it may be over whelming for her. She will need a quiet place to calm down in.
Physical sports/activities can be very good as it gives an exhaust for pent up feelings, they can control the activity they feel safe doing it. ie walking, climbing etc. Do the activity with them. ps - Im now a good rock climber !! my daughter is brilliant at it.
They will be worried about too many choices you give them. They prefer certainty. Make the choices for them or give them limited choices so not to overwhelm.
Gently, calmly talk with them. love them. understand them.
Be careful about food - our daughter 2 yrs ago almost died because of an eating disorder. She was almost sectioned under the mental health act at 13. You can imagine the absolute terror we as a family faced and how scared our daughter was.
Climbing was her saviour and her reason to get better. She still struggles now but is much better.
Drawing, learning and climbing are her loves.
She loves our dog and the dog loves her without question - they have a special bond. We take our dog with daughter as an assistance dog to help her stay calm if needed not always but sometimes.
She will learn to help herself. She will learn to take herself to a quiet place to reset.
She is very bright and academic and artistic and loving in her own way. She is funny.
She is my beautiful daughter who I now adore.
Edited by superlightr on Thursday 7th November 15:11
MrJuice said:
Good grief superlightr. An awful lot of wisdom in your post. Thank you
Every bit resonates with me re my 5year old son
seriously Pistonheads is a great place to share thoughts and experiences. Ive learnt so much from others on here.Every bit resonates with me re my 5year old son
If what we share together helps each even just a tiny bit that helps our children and ourselves then that's a super good thing.
Superlightr. It is a learning curve and that is all we can do, learn and change our approaches to help them. I know I have chamged/adapted a lot which has made a difference but I still get it wrong.
Your comment about choice resonates strongly with me. I have lost count of the times we have had complete meltdowns over offering a choice to our son. Sometimes it can be as simple (to us) as what flavour ice cream he would like but not everytime. And for me I generally pick out his clothes, not ask him, it is usually easier, he wouldn't get dressed otherwise
.
Your comment about choice resonates strongly with me. I have lost count of the times we have had complete meltdowns over offering a choice to our son. Sometimes it can be as simple (to us) as what flavour ice cream he would like but not everytime. And for me I generally pick out his clothes, not ask him, it is usually easier, he wouldn't get dressed otherwise
. Question for anyone who can help but specifically aimed at those who've found out they're high-functioners later in life with the condition being masked by high intelligence - what help or resources are there, to learn about, understand and overcome?
I only recently became more aware of what the autism spectrum is and I'm fairly convinced I'm in this above category, alongside a million odd manifestations I could list, primarily I have always been awkward socially with resultant isolation/depression etc and while at 41 I've learnt by rote a lot of what people expect it often feels inauthentic to engage in the charade.
I only recently became more aware of what the autism spectrum is and I'm fairly convinced I'm in this above category, alongside a million odd manifestations I could list, primarily I have always been awkward socially with resultant isolation/depression etc and while at 41 I've learnt by rote a lot of what people expect it often feels inauthentic to engage in the charade.
Feeling a bit helpless at the minute.
After passing his GCSE exams with some fantastic grades, my youngest went up to college to take four A-levels, and an offer to start on their OxBridge program as a high achiever. All seemed to be going well until a phone call last week, he has been struggling with his Computer Science course, and his teacher has recommended that he drop out as she has predicted him to fail anyway. He is still forecast to pass his other three A-levels with either an A or B grade. Something is obviously amiss.
The college have started a flipped lesson plan, where the pupils are expected to watch lectures on-line in their own time, and then use lessons to discuss the lectures and any note they have taken within a group. This does not work for my son, and he has reacted badly to this. This has come after four years of calm, and it has really knocked the whole family unit back. He has an EHCP plan in place, and access to a SENCO, but the college have made no provision towards any in lesson support that he might need, instead they have gone straight to the nuclear button of the subject must be dropped.
The old familiar feeling of frustration has returned.
After passing his GCSE exams with some fantastic grades, my youngest went up to college to take four A-levels, and an offer to start on their OxBridge program as a high achiever. All seemed to be going well until a phone call last week, he has been struggling with his Computer Science course, and his teacher has recommended that he drop out as she has predicted him to fail anyway. He is still forecast to pass his other three A-levels with either an A or B grade. Something is obviously amiss.
The college have started a flipped lesson plan, where the pupils are expected to watch lectures on-line in their own time, and then use lessons to discuss the lectures and any note they have taken within a group. This does not work for my son, and he has reacted badly to this. This has come after four years of calm, and it has really knocked the whole family unit back. He has an EHCP plan in place, and access to a SENCO, but the college have made no provision towards any in lesson support that he might need, instead they have gone straight to the nuclear button of the subject must be dropped.
The old familiar feeling of frustration has returned.
Teddy Lop said:
Question for anyone who can help but specifically aimed at those who've found out they're high-functioners later in life with the condition being masked by high intelligence - what help or resources are there, to learn about, understand and overcome?
I only recently became more aware of what the autism spectrum is and I'm fairly convinced I'm in this above category, alongside a million odd manifestations I could list, primarily I have always been awkward socially with resultant isolation/depression etc and while at 41 I've learnt by rote a lot of what people expect it often feels inauthentic to engage in the charade.
I was diagnosed young (10ish, circa 1997) and then found out when I was doing gsce/a-level sort of time, but didn't really think in much detail about it till meeting my current partner five years ago aged 27. So not your exact shoes, but happy to talk about anything I can.I only recently became more aware of what the autism spectrum is and I'm fairly convinced I'm in this above category, alongside a million odd manifestations I could list, primarily I have always been awkward socially with resultant isolation/depression etc and while at 41 I've learnt by rote a lot of what people expect it often feels inauthentic to engage in the charade.
gazza285 said:
Feeling a bit helpless at the minute.
After passing his GCSE exams with some fantastic grades, my youngest went up to college to take four A-levels, and an offer to start on their OxBridge program as a high achiever. All seemed to be going well until a phone call last week, he has been struggling with his Computer Science course, and his teacher has recommended that he drop out as she has predicted him to fail anyway. He is still forecast to pass his other three A-levels with either an A or B grade. Something is obviously amiss.
The college have started a flipped lesson plan, where the pupils are expected to watch lectures on-line in their own time, and then use lessons to discuss the lectures and any note they have taken within a group. This does not work for my son, and he has reacted badly to this. This has come after four years of calm, and it has really knocked the whole family unit back. He has an EHCP plan in place, and access to a SENCO, but the college have made no provision towards any in lesson support that he might need, instead they have gone straight to the nuclear button of the subject must be dropped.
The old familiar feeling of frustration has returned.
I have to say, that sound tough. After passing his GCSE exams with some fantastic grades, my youngest went up to college to take four A-levels, and an offer to start on their OxBridge program as a high achiever. All seemed to be going well until a phone call last week, he has been struggling with his Computer Science course, and his teacher has recommended that he drop out as she has predicted him to fail anyway. He is still forecast to pass his other three A-levels with either an A or B grade. Something is obviously amiss.
The college have started a flipped lesson plan, where the pupils are expected to watch lectures on-line in their own time, and then use lessons to discuss the lectures and any note they have taken within a group. This does not work for my son, and he has reacted badly to this. This has come after four years of calm, and it has really knocked the whole family unit back. He has an EHCP plan in place, and access to a SENCO, but the college have made no provision towards any in lesson support that he might need, instead they have gone straight to the nuclear button of the subject must be dropped.
The old familiar feeling of frustration has returned.
Amazed you can have a lesson plan where lectures are watched online and then talked over, but that might be because i am in the same shoes where it wouldnt have worked well. During uni I had a notetaker, audio recording equip, online notes in advance, and while some people seemed to do ok just reading the .ppt slides nad chatting, for me the only thing that worked was just turning up and listening to the lecturer doing their thing, take a few notes for the sake of the writing more than anything, done.
I was doing engineer, which was high-contract time, low written work, and it worked well for me. Yes you had to be there 20hours a week, but you basically did nothing outside of it, easy time management and no reading and written being a major bonus!
Really not sure what to suggest in your position however, beyond a new school!
Daniel
Teddy Lop said:
Question for anyone who can help but specifically aimed at those who've found out they're high-functioners later in life with the condition being masked by high intelligence - what help or resources are there, to learn about, understand and overcome?
I only recently became more aware of what the autism spectrum is and I'm fairly convinced I'm in this above category, alongside a million odd manifestations I could list, primarily I have always been awkward socially with resultant isolation/depression etc and while at 41 I've learnt by rote a lot of what people expect it often feels inauthentic to engage in the charade.
In recent years autism & aspergers has gained a high degree of exposure in the press & elsewhere. Not really understanding what it was about I did some reading to find out. I also did one of these self diagnosis test. This quite conclusively pointed to me having a level of autism. The more I read the more I started to recognize some of my behaviours as fitting. I subsequently spent some time discussing with a psychiatrist, who whilst not doing so in a professional capacity, came to the conclusion yes I did have a level of autism. I'd spent most of my life being unaware, I got used to certain things, I got used to people in my view reacting strangely to me (when their reality was I was reacting strangely to them). Now I'm aware it doesn't make a whole load of difference. I'm aware for example, that all other things being equal I show little interest in others, so I have to consciiously feign interest & make conversation. I'm more aware now of situations that can cause me to totally stress out, so am now able to avoid those situations rather than go in to them & wonder why I got totally stressed out. It helps also to be able to have my wife understand a little better, why I behave the way I do in certain situations, she may not like it any more than before but at least understands. I won't play the game of doing what people expect or society demands as I find it just exhausts me. I survived many years being none the wiser, some things really frustrated me about how I was, but generally I was happy. Those things still frustrate me, having an excuse doesn't make me any happier, just helps me understand.I only recently became more aware of what the autism spectrum is and I'm fairly convinced I'm in this above category, alongside a million odd manifestations I could list, primarily I have always been awkward socially with resultant isolation/depression etc and while at 41 I've learnt by rote a lot of what people expect it often feels inauthentic to engage in the charade.
dhutch said:
I was diagnosed young (10ish, circa 1997) and then found out when I was doing gsce/a-level sort of time, but didn't really think in much detail about it till meeting my current partner five years ago aged 27. So not your exact shoes, but happy to talk about anything I can.
thanks but I'm not sure its talking so much as research and understanding the broad outlines and what and how and what you can do, where I should go for this.For example (I'm told these are practically the definition of attention deficit) if I'm in a really noisy environment, perhaps someone's using a 2 stroke leaf blower or an impactor, most people just shout and continue their conversation instead of talking - I cant - my brain just shuts down and I struggle to focus to form a sentence. Its only this being recognised as AD that I can simply say "hey lets go to the other room". This sounds so simple but you simply don't think to do so, the recognition you have a bit of a genuine impediment gives you ownership and the ability to spot where you're struggling unnecessarily.
Something else I really struggle with is concentration when there's attention-catching noise - i can't read with the telly on as my brain can't tune it out. This is also often a problem on sites as I'm planning cable routes or downlight placement in relation to unhelpfully placed joist, and someone's exercising their Geneva rights to have radio 1 blaring away. To me, the effect on my brain is the same as asking you to trace a picture while jolting your arm repeatedly, it's that invasive. Now complaining about a site radio will only make you a problematic individual, so I want to find out what methods there are that I can deal with this better.
The above are quite AD specific but I've written a whole list of little traits I have that are pretty much autism flags that I'd like to think about.
Teddy Lop said:
thanks but I'm not sure its talking so much as research and understanding the broad outlines and what and how and what you can do, where I should go for this.
For example .... if I'm in a really noisy environment ..... my brain just shuts down and I struggle to focus to form a sentence.
Its only this being recognised as AD that I can simply say "hey lets go to the other room".
Something.... I really struggle .... concentration when there's attention-catching noise - i can't read with the telly on as my brain can't tune it out.
.... complaining about a site radio will only make you a problematic individual, so I want to find out what methods there are that I can deal with this better.....
The above are quite AD specific but I've written a whole list of little traits I have that are pretty much autism flags that I'd like to think about.
I am not sure if there is a need list of potted problems and solutions, and certainly don't have one, however there are various options for others antidotes including this thread, articles on the 'top ten traits of xyz' of varying quality, and specific sites such as the 'wrongplanet' forums and books etc.For example .... if I'm in a really noisy environment ..... my brain just shuts down and I struggle to focus to form a sentence.
Its only this being recognised as AD that I can simply say "hey lets go to the other room".
Something.... I really struggle .... concentration when there's attention-catching noise - i can't read with the telly on as my brain can't tune it out.
.... complaining about a site radio will only make you a problematic individual, so I want to find out what methods there are that I can deal with this better.....
The above are quite AD specific but I've written a whole list of little traits I have that are pretty much autism flags that I'd like to think about.
Having the confidence to take control of a social situation isnt easy especially typically our traits go hand in hand with reduced or misplaced social conference, but certainly if having awareness and or reasons for things you struggle with helps with saying 'shall we just stand over here' or 'can you give us five minutes' thats great.
I seem to be better than most (if worse than than average) at coping with louder background noise, but do really struggle with anything attention catching. If end up in a pub with a TV I often end up watching it rather than chatting with friends even if its on mute, and my partner (not formal diagnoses, but clearly with some traits and family with strong symptoms) who is a medic has to ask for the TV to be turned off if she is doing patient visits
I am also crap with caffeine and spend my life declining hot drinks or asking for decaf/hotchocolate, really struggle when people interrupting me (and also tend to talk over people), often need more clarification and or specific direction of what is actually expected of me.
Daniel
wiggy001 said:
My wife and I have now attended 2 sessions of the training course I mentioned before and so far so good. The first week is very much an introduction to the course, the trainers and for us (there are 10 of us attending) to introduce ourselves. Second week was more detailed and it really ramps up from next week apparently.
What I didn't realise until we started it is that this is a nationwide programme which is developed by Barnardos. If anyone is interested in learning more then the details are here
Looks good. Which organisation did you book through?What I didn't realise until we started it is that this is a nationwide programme which is developed by Barnardos. If anyone is interested in learning more then the details are here
I'm based in NW greater London. Can't see anyone delivering this in that area..
MrJuice said:
wiggy001 said:
My wife and I have now attended 2 sessions of the training course I mentioned before and so far so good. The first week is very much an introduction to the course, the trainers and for us (there are 10 of us attending) to introduce ourselves. Second week was more detailed and it really ramps up from next week apparently.
What I didn't realise until we started it is that this is a nationwide programme which is developed by Barnardos. If anyone is interested in learning more then the details are here
Looks good. Which organisation did you book through?What I didn't realise until we started it is that this is a nationwide programme which is developed by Barnardos. If anyone is interested in learning more then the details are here
I'm based in NW greater London. Can't see anyone delivering this in that area..
Just as an update on the Cygnets course, we have now completed 4 sessions with number 5 tonight, so in addition to my previous post:
Session 3: Sensory
Session 4: Communication
Session 5 (tonight): Managing Behaviour
The last 2 sessions in particular have been very beneficial for us so I would still definitely recommend this course.
wiggy001 said:
MrJuice said:
wiggy001 said:
My wife and I have now attended 2 sessions of the training course I mentioned before and so far so good. The first week is very much an introduction to the course, the trainers and for us (there are 10 of us attending) to introduce ourselves. Second week was more detailed and it really ramps up from next week apparently.
What I didn't realise until we started it is that this is a nationwide programme which is developed by Barnardos. If anyone is interested in learning more then the details are here
Looks good. Which organisation did you book through?What I didn't realise until we started it is that this is a nationwide programme which is developed by Barnardos. If anyone is interested in learning more then the details are here
I'm based in NW greater London. Can't see anyone delivering this in that area..
Just as an update on the Cygnets course, we have now completed 4 sessions with number 5 tonight, so in addition to my previous post:
Session 3: Sensory
Session 4: Communication
Session 5 (tonight): Managing Behaviour
The last 2 sessions in particular have been very beneficial for us so I would still definitely recommend this course.
One barrier I have seen is the reluctance of some parents to accept your child may have an 'ism. I must admit i did also bury my head in the sand at the very start untill I could not avoid the facts matched.
There will be highs and lows with the learning and trying things - just keep at it. I has gotten much better for us.
^^ I was definitely guilty of burying my head early on. Mainly through genuine ignorance rather then 'not my son' scenario.
He was bright and was loving etc my idea of what autism was back then was very specific and he did not match it. I know so much more now! When his pre school teacher raised concerns I played them down but had the assessments he recommended (he was an amazing pre school teacher and I don't think I ever really thanked him properly).
Looking back I now.know there were so many signs that our son was on the spectrum and maybe I should have done more earlier but we are on it now and he is having another assessment in a couple weeks.
He was bright and was loving etc my idea of what autism was back then was very specific and he did not match it. I know so much more now! When his pre school teacher raised concerns I played them down but had the assessments he recommended (he was an amazing pre school teacher and I don't think I ever really thanked him properly).
Looking back I now.know there were so many signs that our son was on the spectrum and maybe I should have done more earlier but we are on it now and he is having another assessment in a couple weeks.
I remember the day we got the diagnosis on our lad, 20 odd years ago: Medium/Severe Autism.
The first thing the doc asked was " Do you accept the diagnosis?"
Odd question I thought and was told that a fair chunk of parents, when given this sort of news, totally refuse to accept it.
For us, there was really not much to accept, deep down, we already knew.
The first thing the doc asked was " Do you accept the diagnosis?"
Odd question I thought and was told that a fair chunk of parents, when given this sort of news, totally refuse to accept it.
For us, there was really not much to accept, deep down, we already knew.
Firstly, great thread. I’ve had a good read of it and thought about posting in here many times before.
For quite a while now I’ve thought I may be on the spectrum, I’ve done online tests and always score highly giving an indication that I am. My wife has done the same tests and always scores lowly.
I’ve recognised so many of the behaviours listed in this thread as that of my own and the realisation is coming over me that a) I’m probably somewhere on the scale and b) so is my 5 yr old son who shares a lot of my character traits.
I seem to specifically have issues with empathy and concern for others, as in I find it extremely difficult, almost impossible to emphasise with those that are going through the toughest of times, I am pretty much emotionless with such things and am sure people like badly of me for it.
I struggle with small talk and often cannot engage in conversation much past a few pleasantries, whether that is my inability or just lack of want to do so is difficult to tell. I don’t really enjoy small talk and get annoyed when people try and engage in inane pointless conversations for the sake of breaking the silence. Is that an indicator, not sure? I also find eye contact uncomfortable.
I can also be quite clumsy which I’ve read is an indicator, not big things but I pretty much always spill my tea if I’m walking with a cup, or will turn around and knock something over, or will clip my foot on a skirting board that type of thing. Lack of spatial awareness, clumsiness, who knows?
Moving away from a plan really unsettles me, if we decide to do something over the weekend and then my wife suggests we change and do something different on the day, I get anxious and often angry but cannot explain to her why.
Next steps I guess are to seek some formal advice and guidance but I am also very concerned that my son is displaying similar traits and want to ensure he has the appropriate support.
Bit of a waffle but I finally felt I needed to get something down and have probably missed loads!
For quite a while now I’ve thought I may be on the spectrum, I’ve done online tests and always score highly giving an indication that I am. My wife has done the same tests and always scores lowly.
I’ve recognised so many of the behaviours listed in this thread as that of my own and the realisation is coming over me that a) I’m probably somewhere on the scale and b) so is my 5 yr old son who shares a lot of my character traits.
I seem to specifically have issues with empathy and concern for others, as in I find it extremely difficult, almost impossible to emphasise with those that are going through the toughest of times, I am pretty much emotionless with such things and am sure people like badly of me for it.
I struggle with small talk and often cannot engage in conversation much past a few pleasantries, whether that is my inability or just lack of want to do so is difficult to tell. I don’t really enjoy small talk and get annoyed when people try and engage in inane pointless conversations for the sake of breaking the silence. Is that an indicator, not sure? I also find eye contact uncomfortable.
I can also be quite clumsy which I’ve read is an indicator, not big things but I pretty much always spill my tea if I’m walking with a cup, or will turn around and knock something over, or will clip my foot on a skirting board that type of thing. Lack of spatial awareness, clumsiness, who knows?
Moving away from a plan really unsettles me, if we decide to do something over the weekend and then my wife suggests we change and do something different on the day, I get anxious and often angry but cannot explain to her why.
Next steps I guess are to seek some formal advice and guidance but I am also very concerned that my son is displaying similar traits and want to ensure he has the appropriate support.
Bit of a waffle but I finally felt I needed to get something down and have probably missed loads!
Matt_N said:
Firstly, great thread. I’ve had a good read of it and thought about posting in here many times before.
For quite a while now I’ve thought I may be on the spectrum....
Welcome to the thread!For quite a while now I’ve thought I may be on the spectrum....
It's a huge and multi dimensional spectrum, everyone has different traits and ways they find it effect them, depending on their personal being and also I think based on their awareness how others see them. What is normal?
I very much find I have to work on the empathy and small talk, previously I think a lot of my family and friends have taken me as I am, likely helped by the fact of them show traits too in part because I would and socialise in engineering circles However my partner while clearly displaying traits and having family with traits does like more and or different empathy to situations has clearly spent a lot of time trying to fit in. She likes me to ask her each day how her day was and wont really talk about it till asked, where in my family if you have something to say about your day you say it else you dont need to be asked.
Really hard to know about clumsiness, I don't fall/trip more than most, maybe even less, but I do feel like a put a lot of effort into being careful, so that might be me continuously compensating, nor do I know what anyone else feels like! Certainly I hate changing a plan, and people who change plans, and would within some limit of reason rather stick to a plan than change it even if the change is for a reason and or an improvement. When does dependable become subboness?
Really hard to offer blanket guidance as everyone's needs and experiences will be different. As I have said before, I think my parents awareness did a really good job of steering me in the important aspects of seeing how others saw life and specifically my actions without making me feel like I was the odd one, which as a child is really important. They would just say things like 'Its nice you have done x, but some people would see it differently and or think that you should have done y' type comments. Even when I moved to a state funded fortnightly residential special needs school ages ten, I didn't really feel like it was because I was a weirdo, just that I was struggling to enjoy school, stay in class, and that this new school had smaller classes and would be nicer. The school again did a lot out avoid singling out individuals and normalise things like handing out ritalin to about half the pupils. Children, adults, only know the world to be what they know it to be, as far as I was concerned while a lot where bigger, a class size of 8 wasn't that uncommon and morning handout of medication was routine after breakfast.
Daniel
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