The autism thread
Discussion
Following the announcement that schools are to close, we should find out later today or tomorrow whether our daughter will still actually be going to school, but it currently sounds possible that she might as she is on the special needs register (but doesn't have an EHCP).
I didn't actually consider until today that this doesn't mean all schools are open - they plan to open one school in the area and run classes just for those with additional needs, so Victoria would be in a class with children and teachers she's never met before.
Will wait and see what, if anything, is offered, but not sure how well she would cope with that change. Would probably be a case of "try it and see"...
I didn't actually consider until today that this doesn't mean all schools are open - they plan to open one school in the area and run classes just for those with additional needs, so Victoria would be in a class with children and teachers she's never met before.
Will wait and see what, if anything, is offered, but not sure how well she would cope with that change. Would probably be a case of "try it and see"...
Government advice says "disabled" children should still be allowed to attend school, and the definition of "disabled" includes learning disabilities. However the head has quoted point 2 of the government advice that says that if children can be kept off school they should be.
So here is the start of a 5 month break from school.
We are going to spend some time this weekend creating a timetable for her which will be a mix of "formal" learning (maths, reading etc), "informal" learning (getting out to the park/woods and making up activities) and play time. We've been given some work from the school as well and are being given access to Google Classroom where I believe work can be set and we can communicate with teachers.
Luckily my work are being very flexible with everyone and I am working from home, so taking some time out each day to take some of this responsibility so it's not all on my wife should be possible.
Interesting times...
So here is the start of a 5 month break from school.
We are going to spend some time this weekend creating a timetable for her which will be a mix of "formal" learning (maths, reading etc), "informal" learning (getting out to the park/woods and making up activities) and play time. We've been given some work from the school as well and are being given access to Google Classroom where I believe work can be set and we can communicate with teachers.
Luckily my work are being very flexible with everyone and I am working from home, so taking some time out each day to take some of this responsibility so it's not all on my wife should be possible.
Interesting times...
I've been meaning to post on here for a few days now but struggling to find the time or the words, so I will keep this as a brief trigger for conversation and return to it later.
My simple question is: for those with children on the spectrum who have been home-schooled over the past few months - how have you found it and what have you learned?
For us, everything started off great. Victoria has always reverted to reading and writing as her "safe place" when she is stressed, and she has always loved school, so no encouragement was needed to get her doing school work. However, 2 things have happened since March:
1. her enthusiasm and ability to focus on work has diminished
2. most importantly, we have realised just how far behind her peers she really is.
It's number 2 I'd like some thoughts on.
Background: she is in year 2 of a mainstream school and whilst her teachers have always said she is behind in most areas, it seems to have been played down to us. At parents evening her teachers talk wonderfully about how great she is to have in the class, what she does, her achievements etc. But now we can see the work that is being set for her peers (they are using Google Classroom to share work with the kids), Victoria simply doesn't have the first idea of how to tackle 90% of the work being set.
This is both upsetting and worrying in equal measures. At the moment I'm feeling like I should be doing something to help her but I don't know what. We do not have an EHCP (the school put a lot of provisions in place for her pre-COVID) but always planned to look into this later this year (on advice from a local autism charity).
At the moment I cannot see how she can see out the rest of her school days in mainstream school, but know nothing about specialist provisions, or whether additional tutoring with a specialist is an option or would help.
As much as we've always wanted her to live a "normal" life, I'm really not sure this is for the best long term.
Any thoughts to this not-as-brief-as-I-planned post would be very much appreciated.
My simple question is: for those with children on the spectrum who have been home-schooled over the past few months - how have you found it and what have you learned?
For us, everything started off great. Victoria has always reverted to reading and writing as her "safe place" when she is stressed, and she has always loved school, so no encouragement was needed to get her doing school work. However, 2 things have happened since March:
1. her enthusiasm and ability to focus on work has diminished
2. most importantly, we have realised just how far behind her peers she really is.
It's number 2 I'd like some thoughts on.
Background: she is in year 2 of a mainstream school and whilst her teachers have always said she is behind in most areas, it seems to have been played down to us. At parents evening her teachers talk wonderfully about how great she is to have in the class, what she does, her achievements etc. But now we can see the work that is being set for her peers (they are using Google Classroom to share work with the kids), Victoria simply doesn't have the first idea of how to tackle 90% of the work being set.
This is both upsetting and worrying in equal measures. At the moment I'm feeling like I should be doing something to help her but I don't know what. We do not have an EHCP (the school put a lot of provisions in place for her pre-COVID) but always planned to look into this later this year (on advice from a local autism charity).
At the moment I cannot see how she can see out the rest of her school days in mainstream school, but know nothing about specialist provisions, or whether additional tutoring with a specialist is an option or would help.
As much as we've always wanted her to live a "normal" life, I'm really not sure this is for the best long term.
Any thoughts to this not-as-brief-as-I-planned post would be very much appreciated.
sparkyhx said:
I obviously don't know your daughter or her strengths and weaknesses and can only talk in 'general terms'. I come from a place of assuming there is no intellectual impairment which If she has an EHCP would be helpful.
So lets assume she hasn't, possible causes of under achievement are
- ADD/ADHD (you don't mention any symptoms)
- Dyslexia (unlikely given your description above)
- Dyscalculia - as above but with numbers
Most Likely is a mix of Executive Functioning issues, Weak Central Coherence and lack of Transferable skills (most likely). With this, the child basically doesnt know where to start, how to organise thoughts, sequence a series of tasks to achieve an end. Couple this with weak central coherence and lack of transferable skills means even if they are shown how to do something, unless a second task is near identical, the learnings from task 1 don't transfer easilly to task 2.
The teachers need to be more prescriptive instead of produce 'D' they need to say do A, then B then C to produce D. Over time the child may begin to develop these skills more.
Like I said, this is a most likely cause if there is no intellectual impairment. Does she need showing how to do things repeatedly,? does you often say 'come on you know how to do this'.
Any Tutor etc will probably encounter the same issues and they need to be aware of this.
Hope this helps you and others
Many many thanks for your response - I think you have summed things up pretty well. No ADHD/ADD that we know of (ie no obvious signed and was never mentioned during her diagnosis for Autism), and no known dyslexia/dyscalculia - her reading and writing ability is very good, it's just her ability to understand that is severely lacking.So lets assume she hasn't, possible causes of under achievement are
- ADD/ADHD (you don't mention any symptoms)
- Dyslexia (unlikely given your description above)
- Dyscalculia - as above but with numbers
Most Likely is a mix of Executive Functioning issues, Weak Central Coherence and lack of Transferable skills (most likely). With this, the child basically doesnt know where to start, how to organise thoughts, sequence a series of tasks to achieve an end. Couple this with weak central coherence and lack of transferable skills means even if they are shown how to do something, unless a second task is near identical, the learnings from task 1 don't transfer easilly to task 2.
The teachers need to be more prescriptive instead of produce 'D' they need to say do A, then B then C to produce D. Over time the child may begin to develop these skills more.
Like I said, this is a most likely cause if there is no intellectual impairment. Does she need showing how to do things repeatedly,? does you often say 'come on you know how to do this'.
Any Tutor etc will probably encounter the same issues and they need to be aware of this.
Hope this helps you and others
"Does she need showing how to do things repeatedly,? does you often say 'come on you know how to do this'. " - Yes and Yes! For example, she has obviously (like most children I assume) first been taught to add and subtract using her fingers. Now she can't go beyond 10 and we are currently having to find different methods - so at 7 she is basically learning how to do simple addition and subtraction again. So for something like "15 plus 2" - she has no concept of starting at 15 in her head and adding 2 more using fingers or counters etc. Except that if she has seen a video tutorial on maths that happened to include 15+2 then she would repeat the answer straight away from memory making it hard to separate what she knows from what she simply remembers.
On another note - if anyone has any tips for removing splinters from the finger of a child who goes into meltdown at the mere suggestion of me looking at it then I'm all ears... that was the upsetting end to a lovely day gardening together yesterday...
Hi all.
I've mentioned previously on here that we have learned a lot about our daughter Victoria (7 years old) during this period of lockdown and one thing we have decided is that it is finally time to sit her down and tell her about her autism. Whilst we are not sure how much will make sense or how quickly it will sink in, she is starting to understand that sometimes she gets angry and frustrated and needs to take some time out, so now feels like the right time.
Victoria loves reading and watching videos online (not just cartoons, but a lot of her learning is done this way too) so we were thinking of additional resources we could read/watch with her or that she could read/watch in her own time in order for her to better understand her autism.
Has anyone used a similar approach in the past and have any recommendations for books/videos? Or any other advice for the moment you broke the news to your little one that there is a name for their difference?
I've mentioned previously on here that we have learned a lot about our daughter Victoria (7 years old) during this period of lockdown and one thing we have decided is that it is finally time to sit her down and tell her about her autism. Whilst we are not sure how much will make sense or how quickly it will sink in, she is starting to understand that sometimes she gets angry and frustrated and needs to take some time out, so now feels like the right time.
Victoria loves reading and watching videos online (not just cartoons, but a lot of her learning is done this way too) so we were thinking of additional resources we could read/watch with her or that she could read/watch in her own time in order for her to better understand her autism.
Has anyone used a similar approach in the past and have any recommendations for books/videos? Or any other advice for the moment you broke the news to your little one that there is a name for their difference?
stabilio said:
fat80b said:
We've kind of been down this path. For us the back and forth between the school and the GP was getting us nowhere and we still haven't made much progress with a diagnosis on the NHS. It's measured in years.
We were just about to get a private diagnosis when CV hit but haven't yet re-arranged this. (It was in central london and was going to be £1500 after two appointments of £300). PM me if you want the details - I thought the doc and the service was pretty good and whilst not cheap, they were working for us / the boy and I felt like this was going to be super important as we dealt with the school.
We were told by our local authority that a private diagnosis was just as good as an NHS one so was a way to speed things up (but I gather that not all LAs have the same rules). Our school seemed happy that we were going to go private as it would help get the EHCP which ultimately gives them additional support as well.
The home schooling and return to school has been a bit of perfect timing for us if I'm honest. - If it hadn't have come along when it did, I'm pretty sure we'd have been dealing with an exclusion from school aged 7...
In the meantime, we have pushed the school for support and have got through the EHCP process (without a diagnosis) which is something. We have a 1:1 TA for 100% of the lesson time in school and while it won't solve all of the problems, I think it has to help. I am also hopeful that having an EHCP and funded support makes it less likely that he ends up getting excluded but we'll have to see how that goes.
I'll put a separate post together specifically on EHCPs as in my mind, this is of much more use than a diagnosis of any sort tbh.
My advice would be make sure you are in good contact with the LA people (and not just the school) - build a relationship with them and you can push the EHCP forward as this is ultimately the help that the child really needs. A diagnosis is just a step on the way to getting a meaningful EHCP in place.
Thanks for this and some good advice there We were just about to get a private diagnosis when CV hit but haven't yet re-arranged this. (It was in central london and was going to be £1500 after two appointments of £300). PM me if you want the details - I thought the doc and the service was pretty good and whilst not cheap, they were working for us / the boy and I felt like this was going to be super important as we dealt with the school.
We were told by our local authority that a private diagnosis was just as good as an NHS one so was a way to speed things up (but I gather that not all LAs have the same rules). Our school seemed happy that we were going to go private as it would help get the EHCP which ultimately gives them additional support as well.
The home schooling and return to school has been a bit of perfect timing for us if I'm honest. - If it hadn't have come along when it did, I'm pretty sure we'd have been dealing with an exclusion from school aged 7...
In the meantime, we have pushed the school for support and have got through the EHCP process (without a diagnosis) which is something. We have a 1:1 TA for 100% of the lesson time in school and while it won't solve all of the problems, I think it has to help. I am also hopeful that having an EHCP and funded support makes it less likely that he ends up getting excluded but we'll have to see how that goes.
I'll put a separate post together specifically on EHCPs as in my mind, this is of much more use than a diagnosis of any sort tbh.
My advice would be make sure you are in good contact with the LA people (and not just the school) - build a relationship with them and you can push the EHCP forward as this is ultimately the help that the child really needs. A diagnosis is just a step on the way to getting a meaningful EHCP in place.
Edited by fat80b on Tuesday 29th September 21:12
It does seem an EHCP is more important than the diagnosis itself.
I know when I called the hospital, the very helpful woman there told me that once diagnosed (whatever the outcome), there job is done with no further support and the child is then off the system as such and all further care is within the community/school etc.
- It took nearly 3 years for us to get a diagnosis for our daughter which was primarily due to the availability (or lack of availability) of speech and language therapists. We have since heard that paediatricians at our local hospital (who did the first couple of assessments) are being training in speech and language to help reduce that roadblock in the process. This is in NW Kent so not sure if this is being done elsewhere.
- We were advised that a private diagnosis would not be of any use to us so please do check and double check that
- Prior to getting it we thought that the diagnosis was the end game. We were wrong. It is just the beginning. We left the doctor's room with a diagnosis in black and white, a handful of leaflets about autism and a "good luck". If you don't then push for the help and support you need you are simply left to it.
On this last point, I cannot stress enough how invaluable we have found a local charitable organisation ( wearebeams). They have given us a lot of help, advice, support (including a support group for fathers which I attend). There is no better support than being able to talk to people that have been on your journey already and can offer independent advice that is relevant in your area. It's the reason I started this thread but this or other forums are no substitute for actual conversation with local people.
We have recently spoken to our daughter's school about getting an EHCP and have been advised (by them and an independent assessor) that we should wait. Victoria's needs are described as "complex" as she excels in some areas (reading for example), struggles in others (maths) and is completely different to her peers socially and lacks the understanding that a child of 7 should normally have. It is therefore thought that she would need an educational psychologist assessment and at the moment (in our area at least) they just aren't happening due to Covid. We are going to wait 6 months and see what the situation is then before pursuing this further.
On a different note, I have to say I love it when this thread jumps up to my recent threads again. I genuinely started it to share my story in the hope it might help others, and with the hope that others would do likewise. And I've not been disappointed. I really hope others are getting something out of this as I know I have.
This thread is and example of what is great about PH!
sparkyhx said:
fat80b said:
wiggy001 said:
We have recently spoken to our daughter's school about getting an EHCP and have been advised (by them and an independent assessor) that we should wait.
This is the line that jumps out to me....From what you've said, this makes very little sense when compared to our experience and I'd respectfully 100% disagree with the advice of the school - (We ended up desperate for the EHCP facing permanent exclusion when it finally came through at the end of year 2). What are they waiting for?etc
etc
etc
The other thing that has triggered us into action is that Victoria was rated as borderline "urgent intervention required" in a recent assessment carried out by all children in her class, and we have had more work come home for which she doesn't have the first idea of how to begin to solve relatively basic maths questions (2 x 5 = ? for example - explaining that it is "two lots of five" in the same way her teacher does and I might as well be speaking Mandarin and even doing it visually with counters and I am basically doing it for her).
Thanks to everyone on this thread for the continued advice and support for me and others here - it really is much appreciated.
Happy new year to those following this thread... I daren't ask how Christmas followed by Covid lockdown etc has been for parents as I know only too well that the almost-constant changes to routine are in no way easy at the moment.
My daughter's school (Kent) is closed except for children of key workers and those with an EHCP - as we are still at the application stage we have just restarted home-schooling which really highlights just how far behind she really is. It's also again highlighted that we are not teachers!
At the moment we are contemplating a private tutor and I just wondered if anyone has any experience of going down this route for a child with autism that they would like to share? A quick Google suggests rates of £20 an hour for what looks like a childminder that doubles as a teacher (am I being too harsh?) to £100ish an hour for a special needs teacher with an armful of qualifications and experience.
I'm also not sure whether a private tutor now would be of greatest benefit (as it would add yet another change to her life) or whether we should let the covid dust settle and get a tutor to help her "catch up" when things are more stable. And by "catch up", I mean catch up to her potential rather than catching up with her peers.
Any thoughts or experience would be much appreciated.
My daughter's school (Kent) is closed except for children of key workers and those with an EHCP - as we are still at the application stage we have just restarted home-schooling which really highlights just how far behind she really is. It's also again highlighted that we are not teachers!
At the moment we are contemplating a private tutor and I just wondered if anyone has any experience of going down this route for a child with autism that they would like to share? A quick Google suggests rates of £20 an hour for what looks like a childminder that doubles as a teacher (am I being too harsh?) to £100ish an hour for a special needs teacher with an armful of qualifications and experience.
I'm also not sure whether a private tutor now would be of greatest benefit (as it would add yet another change to her life) or whether we should let the covid dust settle and get a tutor to help her "catch up" when things are more stable. And by "catch up", I mean catch up to her potential rather than catching up with her peers.
Any thoughts or experience would be much appreciated.
MrJuice said:
I think this very much depends on your child's needs and what you agree as parents.
My wife likes to sign up to all manner of things for our son. He had elective home schooling last term as we finalised his EHCP. She had him doing a day exchange with another home schooled kid. Eg she would drop him to other kids house once a week and other kids mum would school the kids. And vice versa the next week.
Wife signed our son up to kumon.
Forest school.
We found asking other people who were in our positions a year/two/three years prior was good. They'd been through it and had useful insights.
It would be helpful to get the insights of an ed psych if you can. They can assess and advise on what is likely to work for your daughter. EP assessment is usually part of ehcp assessment but can be tricky to arrange at the best of times. During covid times it's yet more tricky. The insights in the EP assessment, albeit limited by virtue of it being a remote assessment, were very helpful to us. Id have happily paid for this privately.
Good luck
Really appreciate the response. My wife likes to sign up to all manner of things for our son. He had elective home schooling last term as we finalised his EHCP. She had him doing a day exchange with another home schooled kid. Eg she would drop him to other kids house once a week and other kids mum would school the kids. And vice versa the next week.
Wife signed our son up to kumon.
Forest school.
We found asking other people who were in our positions a year/two/three years prior was good. They'd been through it and had useful insights.
It would be helpful to get the insights of an ed psych if you can. They can assess and advise on what is likely to work for your daughter. EP assessment is usually part of ehcp assessment but can be tricky to arrange at the best of times. During covid times it's yet more tricky. The insights in the EP assessment, albeit limited by virtue of it being a remote assessment, were very helpful to us. Id have happily paid for this privately.
Good luck
Our EHCP is in progress (should have initial decision at the end of jan) and we’ve been warned that the local authority may not provide an Ed Psych assessment as part of the assessment for an EHCP so we are completely expecting and willing to pay for this privately.
On a more positive note, it’s funny how life dictates at times. We’ve had new neighbours move in a few weeks before Christmas who are a young couple that seem really nice but due to Covid and winter we’ve not really spoken to too much. Until we took in a parcel for them this week and on taking it round to them discovered that the lady of the house is a special needs teacher at a school that specialises in autism and who also offers private tuition...
Will let you know how we get on with our new tutor.
A small rant from me today. We applied for an EHCP for our daughter in December. Her teacher and TA were very supportive of this application and agreed with the need for it, the school/senco were pretty negative and dismissive of the whole thing. We spent a few weeks collating our evidence and writing a good case (with some support from a local charity that we are members of and who help us from time to time).
Friday was the deadline for the initial response.
We got a call today. Our application has been rejected. Not because they think Victoria doesn't need an EHCP and the extra support this will provide... because the school didn't respond to their request for information in time.
To say I am fuming is an understatement! Is it normal for the SENCO to be so dismissive of the need for extra help and support for those with SEN?
And so the battle begins...
Friday was the deadline for the initial response.
We got a call today. Our application has been rejected. Not because they think Victoria doesn't need an EHCP and the extra support this will provide... because the school didn't respond to their request for information in time.
To say I am fuming is an understatement! Is it normal for the SENCO to be so dismissive of the need for extra help and support for those with SEN?
And so the battle begins...
wiggy001 said:
A small rant from me today. We applied for an EHCP for our daughter in December. Her teacher and TA were very supportive of this application and agreed with the need for it, the school/senco were pretty negative and dismissive of the whole thing. We spent a few weeks collating our evidence and writing a good case (with some support from a local charity that we are members of and who help us from time to time).
Friday was the deadline for the initial response.
We got a call today. Our application has been rejected. Not because they think Victoria doesn't need an EHCP and the extra support this will provide... because the school didn't respond to their request for information in time.
To say I am fuming is an understatement! Is it normal for the SENCO to be so dismissive of the need for extra help and support for those with SEN?
And so the battle begins...
A little positivity to the end the week on. Despite receiving the letter this week that the LA would not be carrying out an assessment for an EHCP, they have since changed their mind given the weight of evidence we provided and today we got it in writing that they will be assessing Victoria’s educational healthcare needs. Friday was the deadline for the initial response.
We got a call today. Our application has been rejected. Not because they think Victoria doesn't need an EHCP and the extra support this will provide... because the school didn't respond to their request for information in time.
To say I am fuming is an understatement! Is it normal for the SENCO to be so dismissive of the need for extra help and support for those with SEN?
And so the battle begins...
Such a relief that we didn’t need to officially appeal to get over the first hurdle.
MrJuice said:
Good news
But what made them change their minds?
The person we are dealing with at the local authority admitted to us that is was rejected on the technicality that they received the supporting documentation from the school late, and not because Victoria doesn’t need assessing (which is what the letter said). Some hounding from us and the schools seems to have made them change their mind, presumably knowing it would be overturned at appeal anyway. But what made them change their minds?
sat1983 said:
We're a little concerned about our near 2 year old son.
Hard to perhaps describe on here but one of the things he does like doing is flapping everything he touches. He is very loud (which as a toddler you'd expect I realise) but I mean very loud and gets irritated incredibly easily and has very poor concentration. He doesn't talk yet- just babbles a lot but that has also worried us.
My other half is Polish and we had him seen by specialists over there who stated he is showing signs of autism. We were devastated but I went into denial mode and have since been determined that I will prove them wrong.
Thing is he has excellent eye contact (when he gives you his attention!) does now slowly seem to be open for us to show him how to play with certain toys (such as those wooden toddler puzzles which he excels at), points when he want something which reassures me and makes me think they might have got it wrong.
It's just a waiting game though as we are told it would take a while to properly diagnose. Nursery has no concerns but I rarely listen to professionals as I find that in Poland they worry you sick and in Britain they keep telling you all is fine without really listening much to your concerns....
Anyway, I hope for the best, and we will continue to do our very best for him!
A couple of quick points from me. Hard to perhaps describe on here but one of the things he does like doing is flapping everything he touches. He is very loud (which as a toddler you'd expect I realise) but I mean very loud and gets irritated incredibly easily and has very poor concentration. He doesn't talk yet- just babbles a lot but that has also worried us.
My other half is Polish and we had him seen by specialists over there who stated he is showing signs of autism. We were devastated but I went into denial mode and have since been determined that I will prove them wrong.
Thing is he has excellent eye contact (when he gives you his attention!) does now slowly seem to be open for us to show him how to play with certain toys (such as those wooden toddler puzzles which he excels at), points when he want something which reassures me and makes me think they might have got it wrong.
It's just a waiting game though as we are told it would take a while to properly diagnose. Nursery has no concerns but I rarely listen to professionals as I find that in Poland they worry you sick and in Britain they keep telling you all is fine without really listening much to your concerns....
Anyway, I hope for the best, and we will continue to do our very best for him!
- autism presents itself differently in different people. It is called a spectrum for that reason and there is nothing “typical” to look out for when it comes to autism.
- it can take a long time to get an assessment. In our case it took 3 years. So if there are any suspicions then I would suggest getting the ball rolling on getting an assessment
- a diagnosis of autism doesn’t change anything. Your son is still your son. What is does do is open some doors to help you may need later on. As per my posts above, my daughter is 7, desperately behind at school and we are struggling to get the help she needs with a diagnosis. If we didn’t have that piece of paper the struggle would be much harder.
Good luck and please do share any questions or frustrations on this thread... it’s exactly why I set it up originally.
Hi all, I wonder if anyone has any thoughts on the following, which I will try to keep brief:
At the beginning of this summer a few of the dads in my daughter's class (year 4 - 8-9 year olds) set up a girls' football team which is now registered with the FA and part of a local, well established club (albeit one that, until recently, only had boys teams). Victoria has always liked to play football, often playing with the boys in the playground, and as she seemed keen and enjoyed a few trial training sessions we signed her up. It's worth noting that this is a mainstream school, so she is the only team member with autism.
My main drivers were to give her a hobby where she could develop communication and teamwork skills but, most importantly, be something she enjoys and so far so good. The coaches have been excellent with her and now the team have the basic skills (passing, shooting, getting into spaces etc) they now want to understand what they can do for each child to help them develop to their potential.
I attend every training session and match and the key challenge that I see at the moment is that she is completely unable to pre-empt what might be about to happen in a game. She will watch the ball being dribbled past her by the opposition before she starts running/attempts a tackle. If her teammate has the ball she won't move into space so she can receive the ball. It's as if she simply can't think ahead which I completely get, especially in a fast-paced environment.
She also appears to spend more time "thinking" or working out her next move than she does in a one to one session with me. For example, I can pass the ball to her and she will stop it, turn and pass it back. In a match situation she will pause between stopping the ball and passing, by which time she has been tackled and lost the ball.
None of this is surprising to me but I am wondering if anyone has any relevant experience they might share. I'm trying not to expect too much at this stage, but also want her to be the best she can. I also know nothing about football and had no interest in the sport until recently, so I'm the worst dad to be helping her in that respect.
If this was her education I would say that quiet, one on one tuition with a trained tutor would (and has) helped her massively, but I'm a little short of ideas here (I can't expect the team coaches to focus just on her, and football is a team sport so the one-to-one tuition only gets you so far.
So over to you - any tips, techniques or tutorials I or the coaches could try with her would be very must appreciated.
TIA
At the beginning of this summer a few of the dads in my daughter's class (year 4 - 8-9 year olds) set up a girls' football team which is now registered with the FA and part of a local, well established club (albeit one that, until recently, only had boys teams). Victoria has always liked to play football, often playing with the boys in the playground, and as she seemed keen and enjoyed a few trial training sessions we signed her up. It's worth noting that this is a mainstream school, so she is the only team member with autism.
My main drivers were to give her a hobby where she could develop communication and teamwork skills but, most importantly, be something she enjoys and so far so good. The coaches have been excellent with her and now the team have the basic skills (passing, shooting, getting into spaces etc) they now want to understand what they can do for each child to help them develop to their potential.
I attend every training session and match and the key challenge that I see at the moment is that she is completely unable to pre-empt what might be about to happen in a game. She will watch the ball being dribbled past her by the opposition before she starts running/attempts a tackle. If her teammate has the ball she won't move into space so she can receive the ball. It's as if she simply can't think ahead which I completely get, especially in a fast-paced environment.
She also appears to spend more time "thinking" or working out her next move than she does in a one to one session with me. For example, I can pass the ball to her and she will stop it, turn and pass it back. In a match situation she will pause between stopping the ball and passing, by which time she has been tackled and lost the ball.
None of this is surprising to me but I am wondering if anyone has any relevant experience they might share. I'm trying not to expect too much at this stage, but also want her to be the best she can. I also know nothing about football and had no interest in the sport until recently, so I'm the worst dad to be helping her in that respect.
If this was her education I would say that quiet, one on one tuition with a trained tutor would (and has) helped her massively, but I'm a little short of ideas here (I can't expect the team coaches to focus just on her, and football is a team sport so the one-to-one tuition only gets you so far.
So over to you - any tips, techniques or tutorials I or the coaches could try with her would be very must appreciated.
TIA
sparkyhx said:
Dont worry let her enjoy it while she can. It wil either develop over time as 'muscle memory' or it won't. When she stops enjoying it, then thats the time to stop.
By all means work with her to build that muscle memory, it just might take longer.
Does she have elements of dyspraxia as well?
Absolutely agree with your post which is, of course, the obvious answer. I guess I was just asking as I know little about football as it is so working out techniques for my daughter is even more of a challenge!By all means work with her to build that muscle memory, it just might take longer.
Does she have elements of dyspraxia as well?
No signs of dyspraxia luckily and she absolutely does enjoy football (I wouldn’t continue it if she didn’t) but gets frustrated when things don’t go her way, which is something we are working on in general.
Thanks for your post, much appreciated.
ntiz said:
wiggy001 said:
Did anyone else catch the Paddy and Christine McGuiness programme with week?
Did anyone else watch it and nod in agreement throughout?
Yes. I have said pretty much everything he said throughout the show. Did anyone else watch it and nod in agreement throughout?
I threw myself into work like he did to distract and my wife buried herself deep in to Autism groups.
It pushed me to do that test last night. I have been told by a couple of my sons doctors that I show signs. I scored 34 putting firmly into Autistic tendencies. Toying with going down the diagnosis route.
I did the test last night - 36. Like you I am toying with the idea of seeking a diagnosis for myself.
wiggy001 said:
Exactly the same, although my wife and I have fluctuated - I buried myself into learning about autism, then into work and now I think I have the balance right.
I did the test last night - 36. Like you I am toying with the idea of seeking a diagnosis for myself.
Had to take my daughter to the doctor this afternoon so just asked in passing what I would need to do to get assessed. She printed me their AQ test form, asked me to complete it then hand it in when booking an appointment with the GP to get the ball rolling.I did the test last night - 36. Like you I am toying with the idea of seeking a diagnosis for myself.
Not 100% sure why I am doing this, but I feel like I have been on a "journey" over the past 6-9 months where I have faced my own depression and anxiety head on (to the benefit of myself and, most importantly, my family) and this feels like another step to better understanding myself.
Mods: I hope this is ok but please delete if not.
As the OP of this thread I have found it useful to get my thoughts down and garner opinion from others and offer my stories so those in the same position as me don't feel they are alone.
I've been pretty quiet on this thread lately because I have created a blog to achieve the same aims.
If anyone is interested please feel free to take a look at autismDAD.co.uk
Comments, likes and shares on social media would be very much appreciated. There is no commercial angle to this site/blog.
Thanks
Wiggy aka autismDAD
As the OP of this thread I have found it useful to get my thoughts down and garner opinion from others and offer my stories so those in the same position as me don't feel they are alone.
I've been pretty quiet on this thread lately because I have created a blog to achieve the same aims.
If anyone is interested please feel free to take a look at autismDAD.co.uk
Comments, likes and shares on social media would be very much appreciated. There is no commercial angle to this site/blog.
Thanks
Wiggy aka autismDAD
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