Alcohol - Gave Up

[JustALooseScrew]

I've just fallen off the wagon again after a week, and to be honest it was a lot of the stuff that Dibble shared in his pod cast that showed how strong he had been, and that's just not me.

I'm fking gutted, I'm so annoyed with my self. I can even fking type straight but the tears are pouring down my face and I know I'm going to have to face another wasted day tomorrow.

I fking hate this curse. My head is just spinning with ideas of how I can nip to Aldi and get another bottle.

I have to make it stop, I really have to make it stop. I'm so angry with my self. I'm the lad that is normally compuss mentus enough to put all the lads on a rugby tour to bed and then still go back down to the bar.

I just can't find it in my head where I found the motivation to go today and buy a bottle of wine and then another one. And I'll happily go for another one, and tomorrow I'll make up all the excuses, and I'll probably mange to do it all again.

It's like a fking possession.

[TameRacingDriver]

Mate, please dont beat yourself up. You had one slip up, that is all, get back to it, we all do it. You're human. All the best mate

[JustALooseScrew]

TameRacingDriver said:

Mate, please dont beat yourself up. You had one slip up, that is all, get back to it, we all do it. You're human. All the best mate

Thank you, I've read a lot of your posts.

I just don't know where the drive is coming from, habbit??? rabbit??? maybe it's all coming from a near by rabid rabbit.

I can't quite get hold of the mindfulness again where I immediately think 'no, it's best not to really' - I dropped it today, like a slippery soap bar in the bath, it just all slipped out of my hands and I didn't give a st and I want(ed) to continue, and now I don't really want to give a st about tomorrow.

The head is fked man. There's no serious danger, I'm not feeling even remotely suicidal, I've had 2 bottles of wine and my daft brain is thinking one more might make it sleep.

And the fight goes on....

[br d]

I think TRD is right, you've slipped up but it's not worth stressing about it tonight. You're going to feel rough tomorrow now whatever you decide so just go with it, suffer the consequences later and get to grips with it after.

You can't always do everything at once.

[98elise]

Carrot said:

PositronicRay said:

Carrot said:

So after feeling very rough for a very long time, and reading some of the 'sobering' posts on the various how much alcohol threads on here, I decided to give up on the 1st Jan. I was drinking incredible amounts compared to what most would consider normal.

20 days in, I actually feel nothing short of incredible. Weight is going down, I am waking up alert and ready every morning. Energy is up massively.

Right now I am kind of considering never drinking again as I clearly have no self control when it comes to alcohol.

How many people here have done this, and if you started again what was your trigger? Reason for asking is so I can watch out for this and avoid it...

I don't intend to become a holier than thou tea totalist, I just know that for me, it is not something I can control so I had better stay away.

How much were you drinking?

Brutally honest - average week.

Monday - bottle of wine
Tuesday - half a bottle of wine, few shorts
Wednesday - share half a bottle with missus
Thursday - bottle of wine few shorts
Friday - half a large bottle of vodka, some wine and a whiskey to finish
Saturday - usually same as Friday
Sunday - at least a couple of glasses of wine

I didn't get hangovers any more in the traditional sense, just feeling st and out of energy all the time. It was rare that I had a day with no alcohol.

Well done, that's a big change. I drink way too much as well and I really need to sort it out. I lost an Uncle and an Aunt to alcohol so it plays on my mind.

I'm currently trying to not drink in the week, but I think I need to knock it on the head totally. I'm a creature of habit so I tend to drink because it's what my routine is.

[Joscal]

JustALooseScrew said:

I've just fallen off the wagon again after a week, and to be honest it was a lot of the stuff that Dibble shared in his pod cast that showed how strong he had been, and that's just not me.

I'm fking gutted, I'm so annoyed with my self. I can even fking type straight but the tears are pouring down my face and I know I'm going to have to face another wasted day tomorrow.

I fking hate this curse. My head is just spinning with ideas of how I can nip to Aldi and get another bottle.

I have to make it stop, I really have to make it stop. I'm so angry with my self. I'm the lad that is normally compuss mentus enough to put all the lads on a rugby tour to bed and then still go back down to the bar.

I just can't find it in my head where I found the motivation to go today and buy a bottle of wine and then another one. And I'll happily go for another one, and tomorrow I'll make up all the excuses, and I'll probably mange to do it all again.

It's like a fking possession.

Seriously don’t beat yourself up! Every single person who try’s to cut down or quit does it, we’re human and ALL make mistakes. The key is to learn from it..

Just chill and go super easy on yourself! No harm done whatsoever.

P.s. I necked almost a full bottle of gin over two days after a nasty split and boy did I suffer!!

[unident]

JustALooseScrew said:

I've just fallen off the wagon again after a week, and to be honest it was a lot of the stuff that Dibble shared in his pod cast that showed how strong he had been, and that's just not me.

I'm fking gutted, I'm so annoyed with my self. I can even fking type straight but the tears are pouring down my face and I know I'm going to have to face another wasted day tomorrow.

I fking hate this curse. My head is just spinning with ideas of how I can nip to Aldi and get another bottle.

I have to make it stop, I really have to make it stop. I'm so angry with my self. I'm the lad that is normally compuss mentus enough to put all the lads on a rugby tour to bed and then still go back down to the bar.

I just can't find it in my head where I found the motivation to go today and buy a bottle of wine and then another one. And I'll happily go for another one, and tomorrow I'll make up all the excuses, and I'll probably mange to do it all again.

It's like a fking possession.

I think there’s a balance to be struck here. You’re writing as if you’re a recovering alcoholic who’s just fallen off the wagon after a few years of being sober. From what you’ve posted you’re neither of those.

No shame in having a blow out occasionally. Just go at it day to day and see how you get on. I think you’re putting too much pressure on yourself to go from daily drinking to never touching it again, ever.

[JustALooseScrew]

My head's settled down a bit now after a long talk with a close mate.

There's a lot of other st going on at the moment, and I didn't even go for the next bottle. I feel sober as a judge though I know I'm not, just so disappointed with myself. Another promise broken, can't believe I've lied again.

Tomorrow's another day I guess.

[Robertj21a]

JustALooseScrew said:

My head's settled down a bit now after a long talk with a close mate.

There's a lot of other st going on at the moment, and I didn't even go for the next bottle. I feel sober as a judge though I know I'm not, just so disappointed with myself. Another promise broken, can't believe I've lied again.

Tomorrow's another day I guess.

Every journey starts with just a few small steps........

[thatsprettyshady]

JustALooseScrew said:

My head's settled down a bit now after a long talk with a close mate.

There's a lot of other st going on at the moment, and I didn't even go for the next bottle. I feel sober as a judge though I know I'm not, just so disappointed with myself. Another promise broken, can't believe I've lied again.

Tomorrow's another day I guess.

The last bit is the most important, reset button can be pushed as soon as you wake up.

[stargazer30]

JustALooseScrew said:

My head's settled down a bit now after a long talk with a close mate.

There's a lot of other st going on at the moment, and I didn't even go for the next bottle. I feel sober as a judge though I know I'm not, just so disappointed with myself. Another promise broken, can't believe I've lied again.

Tomorrow's another day I guess.

Did you read Alan Carr’s book? The problem is physcological and it’s easier to beat once you read his book.

[Welshbeef]

OP I’m a habitual drinker and have been non stop for nearly 25 years now.
I’m a beer man now moved to cider mainly - I don’t do spirits (but wouldn’t reject though it’s exceptionally rare that happens - say Xmas ) wine again really really rare.

Unless it’s a work think of my or mrs birthday I don’t drink Mon- Thursday & to be fair I don’t do Sunday often at all / if I did it would be a few glasses for a nice BBQ.
So I drink Fri and Sat and it was always a lot.

I like the flavour of the drinks I have, hence why I’d not choose spirits as I like the flavour of none nor do I enjoy their effects.
My enjoyment of a light head has always been there.

I guess just like so many functioning alcoholics I don’t get hangovers), though 14-21 they were savage - I blame “wife beater” as it was known back then.

Anyway I don’t do Dry any month I think it’s actually bad to do a hard stop from heavy drinking (especially after Xmas) instead slowing down to a more sensible and sustainable level is preferable.
For now and also for some time I’d say my consumption over a week has either been within NICE recommended limits or a touch over which is actually pleasing and pleasing I’ve been able to do it for what I consider a long time (Sept 19 to now) there are blow outs but rare, oh and when I’m on leave 25 days a year I’ll very much be having a drink every day.

I feel better and belt buckle has dropped one notch. Don’t feel jaded either.
I’ve no idea if I’ll ever quit drinking - but if I’m managing to stay at under or marginally over the NICE recomendations then that’s probably fine. Clearly any health issues I’d cut down drastically or stop



Good luck OP - that consumption list was pretty wow especially as that wasn’t a holiday rap list but the average week so fun time is way above that level

[Derek Smith]

Good luck to anyone going sober.

I gave up in April 1979 for medical reasons. I was in my early 30s.

I found it hard, despite feeling great having given it up.

I’d gone ‘dry’ in my late teens/very early 20s on occasion, and found it most advantageous with regards parties. I was always invited as the designated driver, and in the wee smalls, I’d be sober with young women around, generally also quite sober. I would sit in the garden, or in an unfrequented room, and I’d always have a girl join me.

My nickname them was Spindle and Spokey because, despite being 6’3”, I doubled my weight when I put my clothes on. Girls didn’t often throw themselves at me.

About four years ago I had a thorough medical. I was diagnosed with a couple of ailments that I’d had all my adult life. I was told that it was remarkable I hadn’t collapsed or seen a doctor. When I said I was tee-total, and had been for decades, the doc nodded sagely and said that explained it. I said I didn’t smoke, and he said, ‘I knew that by your skin.’

It wasn’t scary at all.

When I was really quite down for not drinking, I went to a reference library - this before the internet – and read up on the effects of alcohol. That made me feel so much better, more so than giving up drinking.

[Carrot]

thatsprettyshady said:

JustALooseScrew said:

My head's settled down a bit now after a long talk with a close mate.

There's a lot of other st going on at the moment, and I didn't even go for the next bottle. I feel sober as a judge though I know I'm not, just so disappointed with myself. Another promise broken, can't believe I've lied again.

Tomorrow's another day I guess.

The last bit is the most important, reset button can be pushed as soon as you wake up.

Yesterday has already gone and tomorrow hasn't happened yet. Now is what matters.

[JustALooseScrew]

Good luck to everyone else going through this, and thanks for all the good comments and emails.

I've just been shopping for the weekend, gob smacked at the price given I've not hauled back a weekends worth that I'd normally hide under the sink.

I'm looking forward to this weekend now, the first time in months, I think that other night just taught me how easy it is to collapse and how st I felt about myself afterwards.

It's taught me a valuable lesson in mindfulness, I'm finding some dignity again which has been long missing.

Great thread, thanks to everyone providing support and experience here.

[Carrot]

Welshbeef said:

Good luck OP - that consumption list was pretty wow especially as that wasn’t a holiday rap list but the average week so fun time is way above that level

It was only when I kept a log out of curiosity that I horrified myself into action. When something isn't fun any more and it is that damaging, its time to stop.

Had a really stressful couple of days recently which would have normally been my trigger, was close.

[Jiebo]

stargazer30 said:

Did you read Alan Carr’s book? The problem is physcological and it’s easier to beat once you read his book.

Seconded.

It makes more sense as time passes as you are released from the clutches of the addiction. I look at mates around me and their drinking habits / relationship to alcohol and I recognise that they too are on the same slope downwards, I just got a bit further down.

It’s been about 6 months for me, ignoring NYE when I caved.

I genuinely think those with a problem should take a longer break than just January. I’ve done dry jan many times but I think it takes 3-4 months before the relationship is broken and you truly break the regular feelings of craving. Only then can you reflect on whether it’s something you truly want or not.

For me the benefits are night and day - best thing I’ve ever done is stopped drinking regularly.

[JustALooseScrew]

Got a great nights sleep last night, actually over slept which is another issue, but I'm feeling better.

[sparks_190e]

I quit completely in 2019 and it's truly one of the best things I've ever done.

[Liokault]

As a point of balance, I have been nearly tee total for 20 years. I feel tired all the time.