Sertraline - Wow!
Discussion
redrabbit29 said:
FishOutOfWater said:
Dropped into here because I’ve been using sertraline and have been since august last year when I was having anxiety attacks. Back ground is that I’ve had depression/anxiety for about 10 years after the death of my mum.
Since my most recent bout my life has kind of imploded.
The summary of events is that I was off work with anxiety
Came back to work
Got close to a colleague
Had an affair with that colleague
Left my wife and children
Went back to my wife
Didn’t try to make things better
Got kicked out.
Now, all this is out of character and I’m a bit concerned that I have a complete lack of emotions.
Could my behaviour and subsequent lack of emotions be as a result of my anxiety/depression or my sertraline?
Or is that just me trying to justify what I’ve done and shift the blame away?
It is probably a little of both, we all make mistakes or act out of character. I cringe at some of the things I have done over the years - all my own doing but still it "wasn't me" in terms of my usual behaviour. Since my most recent bout my life has kind of imploded.
The summary of events is that I was off work with anxiety
Came back to work
Got close to a colleague
Had an affair with that colleague
Left my wife and children
Went back to my wife
Didn’t try to make things better
Got kicked out.
Now, all this is out of character and I’m a bit concerned that I have a complete lack of emotions.
Could my behaviour and subsequent lack of emotions be as a result of my anxiety/depression or my sertraline?
Or is that just me trying to justify what I’ve done and shift the blame away?
You even say this is all out of character. So I would be kind to yourself as you would a close friend. Recognise it for what it is and just try to be positive with what you do each day.
I've had a rough few months and one thing that helped me is to not even worry about tomorrow/next week or next year. Today is all that matters, I will try my best today, and if it's a bad day, I will get through it and wait for tomorrow.
Have you had any form of counselling or bereavement therapy?
I’m trying to be kind on myself but it’s difficult. There’s a lot of guilt about what I’ve done and how I’ve ripped the family apart. I’ve got 2 young children that I feel like I’ve abandoned.
I’m living at my dads. Sleeping on a camp bed with no possessions and no money so self care isn’t easy. Yet, when I type that I know it’s an excuse and I could go for a walk or whatever. But I’m not. I’m just not doing anything.
youngsyr said:
I have a strong suspicion that many people with depression drink a lot of caffeinated drinks to try to combat it.
I would agree with that; I self medicate with caffeine and it brings its own issues (anxiety). I always feel more depressed around 6am in the morning when I wake, and feel so much better after a coffee. But then you start on a rollercoaster - I’m going to try cutting back with a view to eliminating caffeine in the next few weeks. I suspect one of the reasons I feel bad at 6am is caffeine withdrawal.I’ve been following on with this thread.
I was interested to know what dose different people were on.
I’m on 150mg daily, I’m 5’8” and 11 stone and have an active job.
I have been on Citilopram but it just didn’t help at all. Unfortunately it looks like Sertraline is something I will be on for some time if not forever.
I’ve tried to come off the meds a few times, cold Turkey and very slowly but it seems that my chemistry is lacking and needs this to help me function. On a couple of occasions I would have done something very stupid had I not gone back on them. It’s made my wife and family life hell.
It’s a difficult thing to accept this is permanent but I compare it to any other illness that needs medication and that this is something my body needs.
I have made some changes in my lifestyle over the past couple of years, I take time out for me. My wife surprised my with a puppy 6months ago and we walk together which is a lovely therapy. I’ve also cut down on the alcohol to keep a better balance.
Although I’m only little I get a bit feisty when I’m on a low, ready to take on the world. I see trigger points and my wife is amazing at tell me when I need to take 5 and she is extremely supportive.
I also have friends that I can say ‘I’m struggling’ and they help relieve any big things I may need help with.
Setraline is very good for me but I also think we must remember to ‘work with it’ if we want it to work properly. Hope my experience helps some of you, even if it’s just understanding it’s not that I’m mental but my body doesn’t produce the vitamins and chemicals I need.
I was interested to know what dose different people were on.
I’m on 150mg daily, I’m 5’8” and 11 stone and have an active job.
I have been on Citilopram but it just didn’t help at all. Unfortunately it looks like Sertraline is something I will be on for some time if not forever.
I’ve tried to come off the meds a few times, cold Turkey and very slowly but it seems that my chemistry is lacking and needs this to help me function. On a couple of occasions I would have done something very stupid had I not gone back on them. It’s made my wife and family life hell.
It’s a difficult thing to accept this is permanent but I compare it to any other illness that needs medication and that this is something my body needs.
I have made some changes in my lifestyle over the past couple of years, I take time out for me. My wife surprised my with a puppy 6months ago and we walk together which is a lovely therapy. I’ve also cut down on the alcohol to keep a better balance.
Although I’m only little I get a bit feisty when I’m on a low, ready to take on the world. I see trigger points and my wife is amazing at tell me when I need to take 5 and she is extremely supportive.
I also have friends that I can say ‘I’m struggling’ and they help relieve any big things I may need help with.
Setraline is very good for me but I also think we must remember to ‘work with it’ if we want it to work properly. Hope my experience helps some of you, even if it’s just understanding it’s not that I’m mental but my body doesn’t produce the vitamins and chemicals I need.
Edited by Beeroklaunch on Thursday 9th February 17:52
Edited by Beeroklaunch on Thursday 9th February 17:53
Beeroklaunch said:
Unfortunately it looks like Sertraline is something I will be on for some time if not forever......
It’s a difficult thing to accept this is permanent but I compare it to any other illness that needs medication and that this is something my body needs.....
...... Hope my experience helps some of you, even if it’s just understanding it’s not that I’m mental but my body doesn’t produce the vitamins and chemicals I need.
I agree. I'm on 6 different medications for various physical issues plus Citalopram. I've been on Thyroxine for 30+ years because my thyroid gland doesn't work properly. I need glasses to correct my eyesight, my teeth have fillings in them. I don't view the interventions for my mental health any different from the interventions for my physical health.It’s a difficult thing to accept this is permanent but I compare it to any other illness that needs medication and that this is something my body needs.....
...... Hope my experience helps some of you, even if it’s just understanding it’s not that I’m mental but my body doesn’t produce the vitamins and chemicals I need.
Edited by Beeroklaunch on Thursday 9th February 17:52
Edited by Beeroklaunch on Thursday 9th February 17:53
I'm just glad I live in the age of modern medicine.
FishOutOfWater said:
I’m on my 3rd counsellor in 10 years. Feels like I’m going round in circles.
I’m trying to be kind on myself but it’s difficult. There’s a lot of guilt about what I’ve done and how I’ve ripped the family apart. I’ve got 2 young children that I feel like I’ve abandoned.
I’m living at my dads. Sleeping on a camp bed with no possessions and no money so self care isn’t easy. Yet, when I type that I know it’s an excuse and I could go for a walk or whatever. But I’m not. I’m just not doing anything.
Well, it clearly shows that you're remorseful about your actions and their impact on your family, so may that's your path out of your current situation?I’m trying to be kind on myself but it’s difficult. There’s a lot of guilt about what I’ve done and how I’ve ripped the family apart. I’ve got 2 young children that I feel like I’ve abandoned.
I’m living at my dads. Sleeping on a camp bed with no possessions and no money so self care isn’t easy. Yet, when I type that I know it’s an excuse and I could go for a walk or whatever. But I’m not. I’m just not doing anything.
Could you attempt to build bridges with your wife, purely as a father first and see if you can at least rebuild that relationship?
That’s what I need to do. But at the minute she’s understandably furious so bridge building is difficult.
On the subject of medicating with caffeine … I find that interesting. One of the main symptoms of my anxiety and depression is tiredness and I found I was using energy drinks to get through the day. Sometimes 2 or 3 per day. This was having a negative effect on my anxiety But it was a hard habit to break.
I did improve (not enough for me not to destroy my life. But enough that the tiredness isn’t so much of an issue)
On the subject of medicating with caffeine … I find that interesting. One of the main symptoms of my anxiety and depression is tiredness and I found I was using energy drinks to get through the day. Sometimes 2 or 3 per day. This was having a negative effect on my anxiety But it was a hard habit to break.
I did improve (not enough for me not to destroy my life. But enough that the tiredness isn’t so much of an issue)
Edited by FishOutOfWater on Thursday 9th February 18:37
I definitely think using any form of other stimulant / depressant (coffee/alcohol etc.) is a bad idea while suffering with anxiety / depression. At one stage I was in that terrible cycle of drinking too much coffee then having a glass of wine or two in the evening to help me get to sleep, waking up feeling tired so having too much coffee etc. I have at least now stopped the evening drinking but trying to get the coffee intake down a bit.
I do have to say though, trying to give up in an office environment when people are always offering you a coffee does make it rather difficult!
I do have to say though, trying to give up in an office environment when people are always offering you a coffee does make it rather difficult!
hooters123 said:
I definitely think using any form of other stimulant / depressant (coffee/alcohol etc.) is a bad idea while suffering with anxiety / depression. At one stage I was in that terrible cycle of drinking too much coffee then having a glass of wine or two in the evening to help me get to sleep, waking up feeling tired so having too much coffee etc. I have at least now stopped the evening drinking but trying to get the coffee intake down a bit.
I do have to say though, trying to give up in an office environment when people are always offering you a coffee does make it rather difficult!
Giving up caffeine is not easy, but could you try decaff when offered?I do have to say though, trying to give up in an office environment when people are always offering you a coffee does make it rather difficult!
FishOutOfWater said:
That’s what I need to do. But at the minute she’s understandably furious so bridge building is difficult.
On the subject of medicating with caffeine … I find that interesting. One of the main symptoms of my anxiety and depression is tiredness and I found I was using energy drinks to get through the day. Sometimes 2 or 3 per day. This was having a negative effect on my anxiety But it was a hard habit to break.
I did improve (not enough for me not to destroy my life. But enough that the tiredness isn’t so much of an issue)
Well, it's going to take time and a lot of effort on your part, but the fact that she married you and took you back after your affair shows that she must have loved you deeply and perhaps you can rebuild that eventually, at least to being a significant part of your kids's lives?On the subject of medicating with caffeine … I find that interesting. One of the main symptoms of my anxiety and depression is tiredness and I found I was using energy drinks to get through the day. Sometimes 2 or 3 per day. This was having a negative effect on my anxiety But it was a hard habit to break.
I did improve (not enough for me not to destroy my life. But enough that the tiredness isn’t so much of an issue)
Edited by FishOutOfWater on Thursday 9th February 18:37
I think you mentioned that you were seeing a counsellor - I'd suggest talking to them about what you actually want from your future and start to put a rough plan in place to get there.
youngsyr said:
Giving up caffeine is not easy, but could you try decaff when offered?
I'm trying to count how many cups I have and knock it down by 1 every week or so and avoid any coffee after lunch (which generally I do, didn't manage yesterday though and felt like crap). At the weekends I get by with one caffeinated and one decaf, just got to make that more of a habit!FishOutOfWater said:
Dropped into here because I’ve been using sertraline and have been since august last year when I was having anxiety attacks. Back ground is that I’ve had depression/anxiety for about 10 years after the death of my mum.
Since my most recent bout my life has kind of imploded.
The summary of events is that I was off work with anxiety
Came back to work
Got close to a colleague
Had an affair with that colleague
Left my wife and children
Went back to my wife
Didn’t try to make things better
Got kicked out.
Now, all this is out of character and I’m a bit concerned that I have a complete lack of emotions.
Could my behaviour and subsequent lack of emotions be as a result of my anxiety/depression or my sertraline?
Or is that just me trying to justify what I’ve done and shift the blame away?
I’m on Citalopram and it’s definitely given me a ‘don’t give a fSince my most recent bout my life has kind of imploded.
The summary of events is that I was off work with anxiety
Came back to work
Got close to a colleague
Had an affair with that colleague
Left my wife and children
Went back to my wife
Didn’t try to make things better
Got kicked out.
Now, all this is out of character and I’m a bit concerned that I have a complete lack of emotions.
Could my behaviour and subsequent lack of emotions be as a result of my anxiety/depression or my sertraline?
Or is that just me trying to justify what I’ve done and shift the blame away?
k’ attitude that wasn’t there before. So it’s a distinct possibility.Depression is a weird thing, work induced mine alongside covid lockdowns and irradication of social networks etc. I doubled down with work to try and make things better and the the depression just got worse, then slowly exercise dried up because i was working so much and i just became a nasty person with no way of being able to cope, which then caused me to have to work harder because my performance was dropping and then.. i.. spiralled.
I need to exercise to release and i need other people around me to talk to. Depression obviously doesnt help with any of that.
Stopped exercising last week due to too much work, guess what.. i started to spiral, and there was a few actions last week i probably regret.
I have to bake in exercise time every day of the week and manage the stress.
Sertaline just allows me to get up in the morning and function. It's a tool. So many other pieces to this puzzle.
I need to exercise to release and i need other people around me to talk to. Depression obviously doesnt help with any of that.
Stopped exercising last week due to too much work, guess what.. i started to spiral, and there was a few actions last week i probably regret.
I have to bake in exercise time every day of the week and manage the stress.
Sertaline just allows me to get up in the morning and function. It's a tool. So many other pieces to this puzzle.
BobSaunders said:
Depression is a weird thing, work induced mine alongside covid lockdowns and irradication of social networks etc. I doubled down with work to try and make things better and the the depression just got worse, then slowly exercise dried up because i was working so much and i just became a nasty person with no way of being able to cope, which then caused me to have to work harder because my performance was dropping and then.. i.. spiralled.
I need to exercise to release and i need other people around me to talk to. Depression obviously doesnt help with any of that.
Stopped exercising last week due to too much work, guess what.. i started to spiral, and there was a few actions last week i probably regret.
I have to bake in exercise time every day of the week and manage the stress.
Sertaline just allows me to get up in the morning and function. It's a tool. So many other pieces to this puzzle.
I agree with so much of this post. Citalopram keeps my head above water. Exercise, sleep, socialising helps me enjoy my time on the pool.I need to exercise to release and i need other people around me to talk to. Depression obviously doesnt help with any of that.
Stopped exercising last week due to too much work, guess what.. i started to spiral, and there was a few actions last week i probably regret.
I have to bake in exercise time every day of the week and manage the stress.
Sertaline just allows me to get up in the morning and function. It's a tool. So many other pieces to this puzzle.
rossub said:
FishOutOfWater said:
Dropped into here because I’ve been using sertraline and have been since august last year when I was having anxiety attacks. Back ground is that I’ve had depression/anxiety for about 10 years after the death of my mum.
Since my most recent bout my life has kind of imploded.
The summary of events is that I was off work with anxiety
Came back to work
Got close to a colleague
Had an affair with that colleague
Left my wife and children
Went back to my wife
Didn’t try to make things better
Got kicked out.
Now, all this is out of character and I’m a bit concerned that I have a complete lack of emotions.
Could my behaviour and subsequent lack of emotions be as a result of my anxiety/depression or my sertraline?
Or is that just me trying to justify what I’ve done and shift the blame away?
I’m on Citalopram and it’s definitely given me a ‘don’t give a fSince my most recent bout my life has kind of imploded.
The summary of events is that I was off work with anxiety
Came back to work
Got close to a colleague
Had an affair with that colleague
Left my wife and children
Went back to my wife
Didn’t try to make things better
Got kicked out.
Now, all this is out of character and I’m a bit concerned that I have a complete lack of emotions.
Could my behaviour and subsequent lack of emotions be as a result of my anxiety/depression or my sertraline?
Or is that just me trying to justify what I’ve done and shift the blame away?
k’ attitude that wasn’t there before. So it’s a distinct possibility.redrabbit29 said:
I switched all coffee to decaf so it's definitely not that. I used to down espressos and coffee for fun. It's only been a few weeks of no coffee so maybe that's another thing my body is getting used to + exercising regularly which I stopped for a long time.
How's the new job and your mood going?youngsyr said:
How's the new job and your mood going?
Hey not bad thank you for asking! :-)New job - I posted in the job section that it was a really odd start. The Sunday before I started I emailed my boss - who intereviewed me. This was to a non-corporate email address (there are reasons for this). I basically said "Hi... my laptop is delayed but I am available tomorrow on this number". She replied saying she no longer works there!
All my team are globally based, with my direct colleagues in America (3 of them). They are recruiting for a UK based manager who will be my boss.
Everyone is really friendly. And due to the timezone differences I am mostly on my own anyway which at the moment suits me. I haven't done any real work but I have been busy enough doing training and just getting settled.
Really enjoying WFH. Quite enjoy not being pressurred by any commute, or preparing lunch, or being stuck in an office. I can go for walks when I want, have a netflix break when Iwant, etc.
...
Mood is also very good too. I think this is hugely helped by two factors:
1) The job change - I was extremely, majorly anxious about it. It was like heading towards a cliff edge. But now it's done and dusted I feel a lot more settled
2) Exercise - A huge amount of my self esteem and mood is based on my physical shape. If I am overweight or not active I feel terrible. The last 5 weeks I have lost about 16lbs, exercised everyday, rejoined parkrun and done more walking/cycling too.
...
I went to the Doctor last week - they called me in before giving me any more tablets. I told her I was feeling a lot better and she said I should still take the medication for a total of 6 months. This allows me to ride over any downward slumps, any life stresses, etc.
marksx said:
I had some strange dark thoughts the other night. Totally out of character, and I'm not in what I'd call low mood.
Been on the pills for nearly 2 months now so I doubt it's a side effect.
Managed to snap myself out of it though.
Hang on in there, phone someone if you need to.Been on the pills for nearly 2 months now so I doubt it's a side effect.
Managed to snap myself out of it though.
Personally Ive just started on depression pills and god are they making everything worse 3 days in.
A500leroy said:
Hang on in there, phone someone if you need to.
Personally Ive just started on depression pills and god are they making everything worse 3 days in.
Thank you, I will do. As I say, I'm not feeling at rock bottom or anything. It was some impulsive thoughts and actions that I had to pull myself back from. Very strange. Never experienced anything like it before.Personally Ive just started on depression pills and god are they making everything worse 3 days in.
A500leroy said:
marksx said:
I had some strange dark thoughts the other night. Totally out of character, and I'm not in what I'd call low mood.
Been on the pills for nearly 2 months now so I doubt it's a side effect.
Managed to snap myself out of it though.
Hang on in there, phone someone if you need to.Been on the pills for nearly 2 months now so I doubt it's a side effect.
Managed to snap myself out of it though.
Personally Ive just started on depression pills and god are they making everything worse 3 days in.
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