How do you get through divorce?
Discussion
Soon-to-be-ex-shadowy_me said:
jules_s said:
Epic thread
Reminds me of another forum when a chap spun a web of himself, his sister, her friends and all sorts of family members all posting on the same thread discussion but it was all him
The fallout when he got sussed was great :lol: one of the weirdest threads I've read
This comes close - better subject matter. Amazing effort logging In/out to keep it going
From what I understand from your posts here there are some bored and crazy people out there. I’m kind of fed up having to proof to you that I’m real. I even put my photo onto my login at a risk of being bulldozered here. I honestly don’t know what else I can do to get your advice. I can’t give you my name or social media as I’m connected to my children and want to preserve their privacy too. Reminds me of another forum when a chap spun a web of himself, his sister, her friends and all sorts of family members all posting on the same thread discussion but it was all him
The fallout when he got sussed was great :lol: one of the weirdest threads I've read
This comes close - better subject matter. Amazing effort logging In/out to keep it going
And I know this sounds crazy but this pathology is my life now and I don’t know what to think about it apart from every now and then go “what the hell?!”
I needed to hear the male side of things as we have been together for 22 years and my husband is great at manipulating me. I actually think he believes all that he says, it must be a mental illness.
I wanted to hear your opinions and reactions because it’s difficult not to loose faith in men all together after s
t like that. And if I have to be celibate for the rest of my life not to put myself in such a situation again, I will be, but I needed to know what is normality for you guys. I would like to believe that there are good men out there and that maybe there is a chance for me in the future after I’m done with all the therapy and healing.
Hearing your opinions also helps with staying strong in my resolve at not letting my husband back into my life again.
Soon-to-be-ex-shadowy_me said:
And I know this sounds crazy but this pathology is my life now and I don’t know what to think about it apart from every now and then go “what the hell?!”
I needed to hear the male side of things as we have been together for 22 years and my husband is great at manipulating me. I actually think he believes all that he says, it must be a mental illness.
I wanted to hear your opinions and reactions because it’s difficult not to loose faith in men all together after st like that. And if I have to be celibate for the rest of my life not to put myself in such a situation again, I will be, but I needed to know what is normality for you guys.
I would like to believe that there are good men out there and that maybe there is a chance for me in the future after I’m done with all the therapy and healing.
Hearing your opinions also helps with staying strong in my resolve at not letting my husband back into my life again.
It's actually relatively simple. The behavior of shadowy_me is not normal. Is it unique...no. People can be controlling & manipulative. The majority of people however neither want to control or be controlled. Relationships such as yours can however become co-dependent. I needed to hear the male side of things as we have been together for 22 years and my husband is great at manipulating me. I actually think he believes all that he says, it must be a mental illness.
I wanted to hear your opinions and reactions because it’s difficult not to loose faith in men all together after s
t like that. And if I have to be celibate for the rest of my life not to put myself in such a situation again, I will be, but I needed to know what is normality for you guys. I would like to believe that there are good men out there and that maybe there is a chance for me in the future after I’m done with all the therapy and healing.
Hearing your opinions also helps with staying strong in my resolve at not letting my husband back into my life again.
GT03ROB said:
Soon-to-be-ex-shadowy_me said:
And I know this sounds crazy but this pathology is my life now and I don’t know what to think about it apart from every now and then go “what the hell?!”
I needed to hear the male side of things as we have been together for 22 years and my husband is great at manipulating me. I actually think he believes all that he says, it must be a mental illness.
I wanted to hear your opinions and reactions because it’s difficult not to loose faith in men all together after st like that. And if I have to be celibate for the rest of my life not to put myself in such a situation again, I will be, but I needed to know what is normality for you guys.
I would like to believe that there are good men out there and that maybe there is a chance for me in the future after I’m done with all the therapy and healing.
Hearing your opinions also helps with staying strong in my resolve at not letting my husband back into my life again.
It's actually relatively simple. The behavior of shadowy_me is not normal. Is it unique...no. People can be controlling & manipulative. The majority of people however neither want to control or be controlled. Relationships such as yours can however become co-dependent. I needed to hear the male side of things as we have been together for 22 years and my husband is great at manipulating me. I actually think he believes all that he says, it must be a mental illness.
I wanted to hear your opinions and reactions because it’s difficult not to loose faith in men all together after s
t like that. And if I have to be celibate for the rest of my life not to put myself in such a situation again, I will be, but I needed to know what is normality for you guys. I would like to believe that there are good men out there and that maybe there is a chance for me in the future after I’m done with all the therapy and healing.
Hearing your opinions also helps with staying strong in my resolve at not letting my husband back into my life again.
What about the sex side of things? Can man ever be honest and faithful? Is this just something that men do?
Ups, I tripped and fell into another vagina by mistake kind of thing?
Although I've never experienced marital divorce and we've been very happily married for 15 years, I can look back and relate to how the OP is feeling, with compassion. I lost women I was totally in love with 3 times in my life and was heartbroken, for as much as 1 year at a time, before meeting my wife at 34 years old and she at 32.
Looking back at those times of failed relationships I thought might lead to marriage, I value them now, as had I not been through them, I wouldn't ultimately have learnt of what I really wanted in life. Most likely, they'd have resulted in failure anyway, sooner or later:
My failed relationships of the past were likely to fail, because one of us (or both) were together to compensate for a lack of something we needed, and or one of us was sacrificing who we were, in order to conform to the other's expectations.
When a couple completely accepts one another without conditions and neither is intent on changing oneself for the approval of another, then there is a space for real love, by the very definition of it. Later, where neither can possibly imagine life without the other, then there is a space for the greatest witness to each other’s lives in marriage.
It doesn't sound as if your recent marriage was right for both of you, so its better to embrace the change and move on to find the woman you really have a connection with. Easier said than done, but if you truly believe you can, then you give yourself the best chance. And so, you will.
Looking back at those times of failed relationships I thought might lead to marriage, I value them now, as had I not been through them, I wouldn't ultimately have learnt of what I really wanted in life. Most likely, they'd have resulted in failure anyway, sooner or later:
My failed relationships of the past were likely to fail, because one of us (or both) were together to compensate for a lack of something we needed, and or one of us was sacrificing who we were, in order to conform to the other's expectations.
When a couple completely accepts one another without conditions and neither is intent on changing oneself for the approval of another, then there is a space for real love, by the very definition of it. Later, where neither can possibly imagine life without the other, then there is a space for the greatest witness to each other’s lives in marriage.
It doesn't sound as if your recent marriage was right for both of you, so its better to embrace the change and move on to find the woman you really have a connection with. Easier said than done, but if you truly believe you can, then you give yourself the best chance. And so, you will.
Petrolism said:
Although I've never experienced marital divorce and we've been very happily married for 15 years, I can look back and relate to how the OP is feeling, with compassion. I lost women I was totally in love with 3 times in my life and was heartbroken, for as much as 1 year at a time, before meeting my wife at 34 years old and she at 32.
Looking back at those times of failed relationships I thought might lead to marriage, I value them now, as had I not been through them, I wouldn't ultimately have learnt of what I really wanted in life. Most likely, they'd have resulted in failure anyway, sooner or later:
My failed relationships of the past were likely to fail, because one of us (or both) were together to compensate for a lack of something we needed, and or one of us was sacrificing who we were, in order to conform to the other's expectations.
When a couple completely accepts one another without conditions and neither is intent on changing oneself for the approval of another, then there is a space for real love, by the very definition of it. Later, where neither can possibly imagine life without the other, then there is a space for the greatest witness to each other’s lives in marriage.
It doesn't sound as if your recent marriage was right for both of you, so its better to embrace the change and move on to find the woman you really have a connection with. Easier said than done, but if you truly believe you can, then you give yourself the best chance. And so, you will.
I know this message is for my husband but I find it very deep and relevant. Thank you. Looking back at those times of failed relationships I thought might lead to marriage, I value them now, as had I not been through them, I wouldn't ultimately have learnt of what I really wanted in life. Most likely, they'd have resulted in failure anyway, sooner or later:
My failed relationships of the past were likely to fail, because one of us (or both) were together to compensate for a lack of something we needed, and or one of us was sacrificing who we were, in order to conform to the other's expectations.
When a couple completely accepts one another without conditions and neither is intent on changing oneself for the approval of another, then there is a space for real love, by the very definition of it. Later, where neither can possibly imagine life without the other, then there is a space for the greatest witness to each other’s lives in marriage.
It doesn't sound as if your recent marriage was right for both of you, so its better to embrace the change and move on to find the woman you really have a connection with. Easier said than done, but if you truly believe you can, then you give yourself the best chance. And so, you will.
anonymous said:
[redacted]
4 months posting history that we know of 
Can you prove you are not a banned returnee ?
Not easy to do is it
So how do you expect somebody to prove to all the doubters that they are indeed genuine?
I suppose if Mr Shadow tells us his usual login that might add a bit of credibility to the story to those who are calling fake news.
It would show he has nothing to hide.
Maybe you could do the same and tell us who you been in the past to qualify as a "regular like me" as you put it, and show us where you have been "burnnt" in previous threads that you have been so helpful in.
4 months
Come on who are you trying to kid, you're not very smart are you.Edited by Monkeylegend on Saturday 18th July 08:56
Monkeylegend said:
anonymous said:
[redacted]
4 months posting history that we know of Can you prove you are not a banned returnee ?
Not easy to do is it
So how do you expect somebody to prove to all the doubters that they are indeed genuine?
I suppose if Mr Shadow tells us his usual login that might add a bit of credibility to the story to those who are calling fake news.
It would show he has nothing to hide.
Maybe you could do the same and tell us who you been in the past to qualify as a "regular like me" as you put it, and show us where you have been "burnnt" in previous threads that you have been so helpful in.
4 months
Come on who are you trying to kid, you're not very smart are you.Monkeylegend, you’re my personal hero. Your wife is one lucky lady.
Edited by Monkeylegend on Saturday 18th July 08:56
Soon-to-be-ex-shadowy_me said:
Monkeylegend said:
anonymous said:
[redacted]
4 months posting history that we know of Can you prove you are not a banned returnee ?
Not easy to do is it
So how do you expect somebody to prove to all the doubters that they are indeed genuine?
I suppose if Mr Shadow tells us his usual login that might add a bit of credibility to the story to those who are calling fake news.
It would show he has nothing to hide.
Maybe you could do the same and tell us who you been in the past to qualify as a "regular like me" as you put it, and show us where you have been "burnnt" in previous threads that you have been so helpful in.
4 months
Come on who are you trying to kid, you're not very smart are you.Monkeylegend, you’re my personal hero. Your wife is one lucky lady.
Edited by Monkeylegend on Saturday 18th July 08:56
Hope you get over this and get some happiness back in your life, whatever you decide to do.
I think there are times though when my other half would not use the word lucky, we all have our ups and downs
Monkeylegend said:
anonymous said:
[redacted]
4 months posting history that we know of Can you prove you are not a banned returnee ?
Not easy to do is it
So how do you expect somebody to prove to all the doubters that they are indeed genuine?
I suppose if Mr Shadow tells us his usual login that might add a bit of credibility to the story to those who are calling fake news.
It would show he has nothing to hide.
Maybe you could do the same and tell us who you been in the past to qualify as a "regular like me" as you put it, and show us where you have been "burnnt" in previous threads that you have been so helpful in.
4 months
Come on who are you trying to kid, you're not very smart are you.Edited by Monkeylegend on Saturday 18th July 08:56
To be honest, I really wish this was trolling and not my life. I want to wake up and for this nightmare to have ended. And if not, then I would like the world to open up and just give me some peace. Or preferably of course, for her to take me back in some limited capacity.
The reason my wife came on here was to correct me as I had slurred her name even though none of you know who she is.
The reason my wife came on here was to correct me as I had slurred her name even though none of you know who she is.
Monkeylegend said:
Soon-to-be-ex-shadowy_me said:
Monkeylegend said:
anonymous said:
[redacted]
4 months posting history that we know of Can you prove you are not a banned returnee ?
Not easy to do is it
So how do you expect somebody to prove to all the doubters that they are indeed genuine?
I suppose if Mr Shadow tells us his usual login that might add a bit of credibility to the story to those who are calling fake news.
It would show he has nothing to hide.
Maybe you could do the same and tell us who you been in the past to qualify as a "regular like me" as you put it, and show us where you have been "burnnt" in previous threads that you have been so helpful in.
4 months
Come on who are you trying to kid, you're not very smart are you.Monkeylegend, you’re my personal hero. Your wife is one lucky lady.
Edited by Monkeylegend on Saturday 18th July 08:56
Hope you get over this and get some happiness back in your life, whatever you decide to do.
I think there are times though when my other half would not use the word lucky, we all have our ups and downs
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