How do you get through divorce?
Discussion
General George Smiley said:
This has a feel of Watchman about it all.
About as fake as the 1969/all lunar landings
Yes well,About as fake as the 1969/all lunar landings
Both have Polish wives, wives take the dogs out, young kids, and they way they both talked about their wives is very similar in both taking the blame etc etc.
I had not seen this thread until it was linked from the other one. Could be coincidence I guess.
This one seems more unreal than the Watchman one though.
Shadowy_me said:
Dear all, at a risk of polluting this male brotherhood with my female energy (this once only) I would like to clarify this very painful for us all situation. My husband has put us through hell for 20 years with his narcissistic emotional abuse, jealousy, notorious infidelities, lies and selfishness.
Despite all this I have given him multiple chances to step up to be a better man and each time he broke my heart again. My decision to leave this unhealthy marriage is to protect myself and our two daughters from further heartbreak and manipulation. The 80% of assets that he is giving me has its roots in what he did to me that I chose not to disclose here.
I still love him and choose to support him through his difficult and long road to recovery. He is an addict and a very unwell man emotionally and is going through an intensive therapy.
The messages he posted about his loneliness and despair were absolutely true and real despite the fact that he has caused it himself. Having all of your support would’ve been probably very helpful has he been honest with you from the beginning.
Nevertheless I hope you will find in your hearts not to abandon him as he needs this brotherhood support now more than ever.
It’s very easy to judge people but I hope you all can see through the crap he did and give him some constructive support on his road to wellness (suggestions of seeing prostitutes and dating sites isn’t constructive as he did this throughout of our marriage).
On a different note treating women like objects and comparing them to cars isn’t the most respectful way to talk and one day that objectified woman might be your cherished daughter. Aspire to be better, treat women with respect as there isn’t a more sexy and attractive man than one with integrity, carrying attitude, truthful, and loving.
And please don’t ask for my photo.
The reason I call custard is the last line. How would the wronged OH even know to make that reference?Despite all this I have given him multiple chances to step up to be a better man and each time he broke my heart again. My decision to leave this unhealthy marriage is to protect myself and our two daughters from further heartbreak and manipulation. The 80% of assets that he is giving me has its roots in what he did to me that I chose not to disclose here.
I still love him and choose to support him through his difficult and long road to recovery. He is an addict and a very unwell man emotionally and is going through an intensive therapy.
The messages he posted about his loneliness and despair were absolutely true and real despite the fact that he has caused it himself. Having all of your support would’ve been probably very helpful has he been honest with you from the beginning.
Nevertheless I hope you will find in your hearts not to abandon him as he needs this brotherhood support now more than ever.
It’s very easy to judge people but I hope you all can see through the crap he did and give him some constructive support on his road to wellness (suggestions of seeing prostitutes and dating sites isn’t constructive as he did this throughout of our marriage).
On a different note treating women like objects and comparing them to cars isn’t the most respectful way to talk and one day that objectified woman might be your cherished daughter. Aspire to be better, treat women with respect as there isn’t a more sexy and attractive man than one with integrity, carrying attitude, truthful, and loving.
And please don’t ask for my photo.
Anyway, I'll leave it there. Ahm oooot.
Smitters said:
Shadowy_me said:
Dear all, at a risk of polluting this male brotherhood with my female energy (this once only) I would like to clarify this very painful for us all situation. My husband has put us through hell for 20 years with his narcissistic emotional abuse, jealousy, notorious infidelities, lies and selfishness.
Despite all this I have given him multiple chances to step up to be a better man and each time he broke my heart again. My decision to leave this unhealthy marriage is to protect myself and our two daughters from further heartbreak and manipulation. The 80% of assets that he is giving me has its roots in what he did to me that I chose not to disclose here.
I still love him and choose to support him through his difficult and long road to recovery. He is an addict and a very unwell man emotionally and is going through an intensive therapy.
The messages he posted about his loneliness and despair were absolutely true and real despite the fact that he has caused it himself. Having all of your support would’ve been probably very helpful has he been honest with you from the beginning.
Nevertheless I hope you will find in your hearts not to abandon him as he needs this brotherhood support now more than ever.
It’s very easy to judge people but I hope you all can see through the crap he did and give him some constructive support on his road to wellness (suggestions of seeing prostitutes and dating sites isn’t constructive as he did this throughout of our marriage).
On a different note treating women like objects and comparing them to cars isn’t the most respectful way to talk and one day that objectified woman might be your cherished daughter. Aspire to be better, treat women with respect as there isn’t a more sexy and attractive man than one with integrity, carrying attitude, truthful, and loving.
And please don’t ask for my photo.
The reason I call custard is the last line. How would the wronged OH even know to make that reference?Despite all this I have given him multiple chances to step up to be a better man and each time he broke my heart again. My decision to leave this unhealthy marriage is to protect myself and our two daughters from further heartbreak and manipulation. The 80% of assets that he is giving me has its roots in what he did to me that I chose not to disclose here.
I still love him and choose to support him through his difficult and long road to recovery. He is an addict and a very unwell man emotionally and is going through an intensive therapy.
The messages he posted about his loneliness and despair were absolutely true and real despite the fact that he has caused it himself. Having all of your support would’ve been probably very helpful has he been honest with you from the beginning.
Nevertheless I hope you will find in your hearts not to abandon him as he needs this brotherhood support now more than ever.
It’s very easy to judge people but I hope you all can see through the crap he did and give him some constructive support on his road to wellness (suggestions of seeing prostitutes and dating sites isn’t constructive as he did this throughout of our marriage).
On a different note treating women like objects and comparing them to cars isn’t the most respectful way to talk and one day that objectified woman might be your cherished daughter. Aspire to be better, treat women with respect as there isn’t a more sexy and attractive man than one with integrity, carrying attitude, truthful, and loving.
And please don’t ask for my photo.
Anyway, I'll leave it there. Ahm oooot.
ghost83 said:
Monkeylegend said:
She posted her photo in her profile, holding a dog, or at least with a dog of the canine variety.
To save me trawling which page did she come on and have her say?
Edited by Monkeylegend on Tuesday 12th January 09:58
..... 
Shadowy_me said:
wanted some human contact.
This is the part you really need to focus on!! Think of people that you feel comfortable talking to and reach out to them. Even if that person is from 8 years ago who you drifted away from. Reach out and just unload some of your feelings. As others have said things will get better with time but right now at this point in time you need to also spend time with people even when you don't to. People who will force you to get out, just for a walk or a coffee or something else.I am sorry to hear what you have went through and divorce is never easy, things will get better, stay strong.
In regards to wanting to get back with your wife, - its possible! I don't know the ins and outs at all so wouldnt know to tell you to just let it go or rebuild yourself in order to rebuild your relationship! Again people to talk to can help!
Dear all,
Here is your update.
After 4 years of trying to help my cheating, manipulating, controlling, threatening husband who dragged me with sleeping pills for 10 years and then tried to poison me in April 2020 I am now faced with daily turmoil.
We were together since 1999. We have 2 children. In 2020 after my daughters saved my life when he tried to poison me, I still tried to do my best for everyone involved. I agreed to not go to the police if he goes for treatment.
He went and left me his phone saying „look through as I have nothing to hide” and gave me his password.
This is how I found this chat.
There was nothing else on the phone apart from a week long searches on how to kill someone’s and get away with it. The rest of the information was found by my teenage daughters and they were who he admitted all about the prostitutes, affairs, drugging me with sleeping pills for 10 years after I asked for a divorce in September 2010 and poisoning me in April 2020.
For the last 4 years we lived in separate houses and I did what I agreed to and stood by him while he supposedly worked on himself. This was going to lead to a peaceful divorce or so he agreed.
In January this year he started behaving even more unhinged than usual and then admitted to have been dating and that he has met someone he liked. I finally thought I can be free and I made a mistake of asking for the peaceful divorce we both agreed to. He did what he has done for the last 25 years, threatened my life and wellbeing and told me it will be best if I just killed myself.
I didn’t have a choice but had to go to the police.
I gave them what I had and he was arrested and released on bail. I finally could breathe. And then he started tormenting me and our daughters.
Every day there is something he does to control me or make my life difficult.
He is torturing our children with narcissistic messages. My younger daughter was in despair on Monday after he sent her another manipulative message.
I found out that my domain was registered under his name although Im paying for it and my phone was set up in his name and I was set up as a user so it looked like it was mine.
He blocked my professional email with sensitive medical data, read messages and then when important emails came he wiped the whole box (over 49k of emails that by law I need to keep for minimum 7 years). Today I woke up to my phone number being blocked and my phone barred.
He migrated my phone number to a different provider and will now have access to everything.
I am asking if there is anyone here that can advise me on how I can free myself from this person. To him I’m an object that he owns and if he can’t have me no one will. Police is moving very slowly and he is very good at cyber stuff and is trying to break my girls and I for trying to leave. He very obviously has help, quite possibly from another chat like this one.
Please help if you can. I don’t know who to ask for advice.
Here is your update.
After 4 years of trying to help my cheating, manipulating, controlling, threatening husband who dragged me with sleeping pills for 10 years and then tried to poison me in April 2020 I am now faced with daily turmoil.
We were together since 1999. We have 2 children. In 2020 after my daughters saved my life when he tried to poison me, I still tried to do my best for everyone involved. I agreed to not go to the police if he goes for treatment.
He went and left me his phone saying „look through as I have nothing to hide” and gave me his password.
This is how I found this chat.
There was nothing else on the phone apart from a week long searches on how to kill someone’s and get away with it. The rest of the information was found by my teenage daughters and they were who he admitted all about the prostitutes, affairs, drugging me with sleeping pills for 10 years after I asked for a divorce in September 2010 and poisoning me in April 2020.
For the last 4 years we lived in separate houses and I did what I agreed to and stood by him while he supposedly worked on himself. This was going to lead to a peaceful divorce or so he agreed.
In January this year he started behaving even more unhinged than usual and then admitted to have been dating and that he has met someone he liked. I finally thought I can be free and I made a mistake of asking for the peaceful divorce we both agreed to. He did what he has done for the last 25 years, threatened my life and wellbeing and told me it will be best if I just killed myself.
I didn’t have a choice but had to go to the police.
I gave them what I had and he was arrested and released on bail. I finally could breathe. And then he started tormenting me and our daughters.
Every day there is something he does to control me or make my life difficult.
He is torturing our children with narcissistic messages. My younger daughter was in despair on Monday after he sent her another manipulative message.
I found out that my domain was registered under his name although Im paying for it and my phone was set up in his name and I was set up as a user so it looked like it was mine.
He blocked my professional email with sensitive medical data, read messages and then when important emails came he wiped the whole box (over 49k of emails that by law I need to keep for minimum 7 years). Today I woke up to my phone number being blocked and my phone barred.
He migrated my phone number to a different provider and will now have access to everything.
I am asking if there is anyone here that can advise me on how I can free myself from this person. To him I’m an object that he owns and if he can’t have me no one will. Police is moving very slowly and he is very good at cyber stuff and is trying to break my girls and I for trying to leave. He very obviously has help, quite possibly from another chat like this one.
Please help if you can. I don’t know who to ask for advice.
Edited by Soon-to-be-ex-shadowy_me on Saturday 13th April 22:34
Edited by Soon-to-be-ex-shadowy_me on Sunday 21st April 02:27
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