Friends Daughter Issues
Discussion
The Moose said:
I have no time for this point of view. What a horrendous way to have to live your life. I genuinely feel sorry for you.
I agree and as a family man, I can see why you have no issue with it. Innocent play is innocent play and nothing else. Sadly we live in a "pedo" paranoid world due to bad media influence.
I think in the wrong set of circumstances, playing with kids on your own could cause a world of hurt. Your situation is probably no risk, your a father in a relationship with your own kids - chances are nobody would ever think bad of you should the worst happen and you were a victim of a false accusation - justice would likely prevail and you'd be fine.
However in other personal circumstances but the same accusation, you could easily be screwed. An example, someone with serious mental health issues, a history with weapons (non-criminal), single and pretty much a loner, psych reports saying difficulties with relationships, past difficult relationships, Still has interests in and collects certain child toys (eg lego etc), has few friends, little family interaction, witnesses would say he is strange and immature etc. etc. And to top it off a previous false accusation of beating up kids.
Ticks all the pedo/wrongun risk factor tick boxes on any police investigation.
More importantly, the prosecution would bring all of that up and paint you to be a f
king nonce to the jury, and people are generally quite harsh judges of character, So youd be considered a wrongun by the jury before even any evidence is heard. So assuming it wasn't dropped by CPS as a "he said, she said" case, then you are fked and going down. Hence why I can understand why a lot of men might be inclined to be a lot more cautious than you. (that description is kind of me, made a bit worse as thats how the prosecution would use it).
The Moose said:
Zetec-S said:
Sad to have to think this way, but very true.
I've always been conscious of not being left alone much with my nieces for this reason. Would I spend any amount of time alone with a friends kids - no fking way.
I have no time for this point of view. What a horrendous way to have to live your life. I genuinely feel sorry for you.I've always been conscious of not being left alone much with my nieces for this reason. Would I spend any amount of time alone with a friends kids - no f
king way.My wife and I have some friends with 5 kids (both boys and girls) under 9 years old. When we go over to hang out/have dinner, often the husband/dad is out working slightly longer than normal hours. My wife and the wife/mom of this family will sometimes sit in the kitchen chatting away and I’ll spend time playing with whatever kids are around, wrestling and generally being a climbing frame for the 4 older kids.
Usually the husband/dad comes home after we’ve eaten an early dinner and the kids then go to bed.
Yes, I enjoy playing with the kids - the way they interact with each other is fun to watch and I get to be a big kid (like I am!!).
But then I also get on the floor with my 15 month old daughter and ‘wrestle’ with her, play chase her down the hall, tickle her etc.
The expression ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ is really very accurate.
To come back to the question that I think the OP is asking, albeit in a clumsy way, as an adult when your friends have kids you generally have to accept them as a family or not at all. It’s just one of those things. You need to make up your mind if the downsides of their kids are worth enduring to enjoy the friendship. I guess it’s like when a mate gets married - she’ll be around no matter what.
I'll still play with my nieces, human climbing frame, throw them in the air, etc. The wife and SiL might be in the kitchen or next room, but I'm not going to look after them by myself, spend time in their bedroom, etc. Perhaps part of the reason is my wife has a very up and down relationship with her sister (who is very resentful of her), and so doesn't entirely trust her. Also, my youngest niece has some learning difficulties, amongst other issues. She went through a phase of saying that our dog had bitten her, despite our dog being pretty gentle and us being around all the time so can see nothing happened. I don't think she understands the impact of what she's saying, and as she gets older and "more aware" wouldn't want to risk her making some other accusations.
As for friend's kids, well I still stand by what I said. No way I'd spend time alone with them. A bit of a play is fine if the situation arises, but we don't have that many friends with young kids though so it's unlikely to happen. If I go round to visit it's to see them, not for a play-date.
Dr Doofenshmirtz said:
I dunno what’s weirder...the OP ...or the OP is, erm, ‘special’.
OP has PH history spanning, what, 6.5 years and a post count of 1.7k+Maybe its a good time for you to back your allegations up by crawling through someone's internet history like a good little stalker.
ReverendCounter said:
Dr Doofenshmirtz said:
I dunno what’s weirder...the OP ...or the OP is, erm, ‘special’.
OP has PH history spanning, what, 6.5 years and a post count of 1.7k+Maybe its a good time for you to back your allegations up by crawling through someone's internet history like a good little stalker.
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