Ex Footballer blog. Feedback and opinions appreciated.
Discussion
Ruskie said:
I suspect no one would be interested as I'm not high profile enough.
Wouldn't that be kinda the point though, be good for aspiring professionals to see that is an alternative life out there, for example you might not always think it about yourself Ruskie but you ARE a success - being a paramedic is quite the achievement. Do you actually miss anything about the pro game now? (I can't remember from previous blogs if you play at all now)One of my best friends was a paramedic for a long time and also suffered with a long history of anxiety/depression. It was rarely job related though, she was confident in her ability and enjoyed the role but outside factors would sometimes overwhelm her. Found it startling that she could deal with life and death situations yet daily life could cause her to breakdown. If you don't mind me asking is work a trigger for your depression?
mikeyr said:
Wouldn't that be kinda the point though, be good for aspiring professionals to see that is an alternative life out there, for example you might not always think it about yourself Ruskie but you ARE a success - being a paramedic is quite the achievement. Do you actually miss anything about the pro game now? (I can't remember from previous blogs if you play at all now)
One of my best friends was a paramedic for a long time and also suffered with a long history of anxiety/depression. It was rarely job related though, she was confident in her ability and enjoyed the role but outside factors would sometimes overwhelm her. Found it startling that she could deal with life and death situations yet daily life could cause her to breakdown. If you don't mind me asking is work a trigger for your depression?
I think this is a fair comment, it's clear from your blog that you see your football career as a failure or wasted opportunity, there is a very strong case to be made that as a paramedic you are contributing to society in a much more positive and direct way. It's certainly a job I don't think I'd be able to do. One of my best friends was a paramedic for a long time and also suffered with a long history of anxiety/depression. It was rarely job related though, she was confident in her ability and enjoyed the role but outside factors would sometimes overwhelm her. Found it startling that she could deal with life and death situations yet daily life could cause her to breakdown. If you don't mind me asking is work a trigger for your depression?
I hope you come through it, maybe you need to think about the value of your past and present contributions rather than the opportunities you missed.
mikeyr said:
Ruskie said:
I suspect no one would be interested as I'm not high profile enough.
Wouldn't that be kinda the point though, be good for aspiring professionals to see that is an alternative life out there, for example you might not always think it about yourself Ruskie but you ARE a success - being a paramedic is quite the achievement. Do you actually miss anything about the pro game now? (I can't remember from previous blogs if you play at all now)One of my best friends was a paramedic for a long time and also suffered with a long history of anxiety/depression. It was rarely job related though, she was confident in her ability and enjoyed the role but outside factors would sometimes overwhelm her. Found it startling that she could deal with life and death situations yet daily life could cause her to breakdown. If you don't mind me asking is work a trigger for your depression?
The life and death thing is a misnomer. If you're depressed or something akin to and the things that get you in a similar place aren't directly linked to your worm food/green fuel future, anything around that environment is very much black and white, but very much not what drives the less than good stuff.
KarlMac said:
mikeyr said:
Wouldn't that be kinda the point though, be good for aspiring professionals to see that is an alternative life out there, for example you might not always think it about yourself Ruskie but you ARE a success - being a paramedic is quite the achievement. Do you actually miss anything about the pro game now? (I can't remember from previous blogs if you play at all now)
One of my best friends was a paramedic for a long time and also suffered with a long history of anxiety/depression. It was rarely job related though, she was confident in her ability and enjoyed the role but outside factors would sometimes overwhelm her. Found it startling that she could deal with life and death situations yet daily life could cause her to breakdown. If you don't mind me asking is work a trigger for your depression?
I think this is a fair comment, it's clear from your blog that you see your football career as a failure or wasted opportunity, there is a very strong case to be made that as a paramedic you are contributing to society in a much more positive and direct way. It's certainly a job I don't think I'd be able to do. One of my best friends was a paramedic for a long time and also suffered with a long history of anxiety/depression. It was rarely job related though, she was confident in her ability and enjoyed the role but outside factors would sometimes overwhelm her. Found it startling that she could deal with life and death situations yet daily life could cause her to breakdown. If you don't mind me asking is work a trigger for your depression?
I hope you come through it, maybe you need to think about the value of your past and present contributions rather than the opportunities you missed.
Ruskie said:
Thank you for the responses. Someone commented on the blog requesting that I did a blog when I was in a positive frame of mind.
Totally agree, it'll show a more rounded human face to your blog (no offence, I like your blog!) and show that depression isn't an illness which is constantly there clouding every moment for sufferers.6000 views is good work Ruskie!
mikeyr said:
Ruskie said:
Thank you for the responses. Someone commented on the blog requesting that I did a blog when I was in a positive frame of mind.
Totally agree, it'll show a more rounded human face to your blog (no offence, I like your blog!) and show that depression isn't an illness which is constantly there clouding every moment for sufferers.6000 views is good work Ruskie!
Ruskie said:
Thinking about what was said. I did try and put myself out there to help others. Here is a message I sent to a charity that helps people in the emergency services with mental health issues. Never been followed up.
Keep fighting, OP.
Have you considered borrowing someone's dog? It could just be that you are suffering from being stuck inside after years of fieldwork.
You might need open space. Dogs can make you go find some.
It's just a thought. If I believed in anything but love I would be praying for you.
In a way, I am.
Have you considered borrowing someone's dog? It could just be that you are suffering from being stuck inside after years of fieldwork.
You might need open space. Dogs can make you go find some.
It's just a thought. If I believed in anything but love I would be praying for you.
In a way, I am.
The fact people are reading gives me a lift so thank you.
I had a dog and I absolutely agree with what you say I used to love taking him out. I lost him when I split up with my ex. The main reason was I had to move back with parents and my mum has an allergy. I'm back on my own but I live on the first floor so not suitable for a dog.
I had a dog and I absolutely agree with what you say I used to love taking him out. I lost him when I split up with my ex. The main reason was I had to move back with parents and my mum has an allergy. I'm back on my own but I live on the first floor so not suitable for a dog.
Mate, I can't express how much of a privilege it is that you've shared your deepest thoughts with us. Some of it really cuts close for me.
I always felt that I could've played to a decent level, but was badly bullied in my team. I was competing for a position with the manager's son and was either benched or played out of position. Inevitably, being played out of position means I was playing badly. I lost all confidence and quit at 14 years old when I felt I could've done much better.
I think a lot of the effects followed me into adulthood. I didn't kick a ball again until I was 18 and filling in for the "dads' team" at a tournament my younger brother was playing in. After that I didn't play again until I was 27 and I've been playing regular since. I was delighted to discover that I could still play at a good amateur level and it has been a massive confidence boost to actually win the league and make some new friends. I've come up against a few lads from the past who always looked down at me and I've taken great pleasure in giving them a good spanking!
Anyway, I'm rambling about myself. I suppose my point is have you considered playing at all? Sorry if I missed that - I've not managed to read everything yet. You might enjoy a game of 5-a-side with the pressure off. I've suffered a bit with anxiety but I've also coped with distractions. I only end up in a mess when I'm bored and can't get motivated to do anything.
I always felt that I could've played to a decent level, but was badly bullied in my team. I was competing for a position with the manager's son and was either benched or played out of position. Inevitably, being played out of position means I was playing badly. I lost all confidence and quit at 14 years old when I felt I could've done much better.
I think a lot of the effects followed me into adulthood. I didn't kick a ball again until I was 18 and filling in for the "dads' team" at a tournament my younger brother was playing in. After that I didn't play again until I was 27 and I've been playing regular since. I was delighted to discover that I could still play at a good amateur level and it has been a massive confidence boost to actually win the league and make some new friends. I've come up against a few lads from the past who always looked down at me and I've taken great pleasure in giving them a good spanking!
Anyway, I'm rambling about myself. I suppose my point is have you considered playing at all? Sorry if I missed that - I've not managed to read everything yet. You might enjoy a game of 5-a-side with the pressure off. I've suffered a bit with anxiety but I've also coped with distractions. I only end up in a mess when I'm bored and can't get motivated to do anything.
Gassing Station | Football | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff