DIY Mechanics Fail Stories

DIY Mechanics Fail Stories

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Zoobeef

Original Poster:

6,004 posts

159 months

Friday 12th October 2012
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zedx19 said:
Just remembered a tale about a Clio I had I decided to slam to the ground during my teenage days. It was a mk1 Clio 1.4 RT, they have torsion bars on back, no springs. So I bought 55mm drop springs for the front, which took me a day to fit. Next day I attempted the torsion bar, I removed the bars, jacked up the hub and the ]

Edited by zedx19 on Friday 12th October 10:54
Did a similar thing on my old 106. Bought 30mm lowering springs. Adjusted 2 notches on the torsion bar instead of one and ended with the rear lower. Fixed by swapping the front springs with 60mm lowing ones to match haha

stoocake

330 posts

173 months

Friday 12th October 2012
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I changed the spark plugs, leads, dizzy cap and rotor on my old Civic 1.8 VTi. I was really chuffed I was doing my car a favour in servicing its ignition system, only to find when I started it that it was running lumpy and the odd backfire.

I KNEW that the firing order for this car was 1-3-2-4. I absolutely KNEW that, so no amount of checking revealed the problem. I called the AA out, who swapped two leads around - problem solved.


Also had a problem with a garage fitting a tyre for me. I took the wheel off for them, and gave them the tyre I wanted fitted. They managed to fit this backwards. Took the car back to them (whole car this time) and they broke one of my locking nuts. They threw out the broken nut, along with the locking key leaving 3 other locking nuts attached to the car that I then couldn't get off. Clever tyre-monkeys.

smiff1007

37 posts

153 months

Friday 12th October 2012
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The Black Flash said:
Unlucky. A guy at work just drove around like that for 2 days, and found the locking socket still on the nut!

It's a bit like an AA meeting this, isn't it? hehe
Did exactly the same thing on my 206, absolutely ragged it to work down as bumpy, bendy country lane. And back again. Then noticed the locking wheel nut was still attached. Lucky boy!

However, locking wheel nuts are the bane of my life, did one up too tightly on my old 106, ended up having to use a gas axe to melt the head of the bolt to get it off. Before you ask, I tried everything to get the thing off but it was my own fault for using locking wheel nuts from a different model...

Anyway, the 206 went into the garage the other day for a new ABS sensor. Guess what? The locking wheel nuts won't come off...

RizzoTheRat

25,218 posts

193 months

Friday 12th October 2012
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A mate managed to drop a bolt in to a coolant channel when checking the valve clearances on his bike. It was just visable so he tried hooking it and managed to drop it even further in.

The ingenious method he ended up using to get it out... was to take the engine out and turn it upside down biggrin

robinessex

11,077 posts

182 months

Friday 12th October 2012
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Wife of manager where I worked brought her mini (an original one) in one dinner hour. Was making a funny smell. Hubby was away on business. Of course, all us engineers had to stand and gawp at the engine offering suggestions. Then she uttered, " I topped it up with some water, because my husband says it uses a bit, like he told me to". So I put my hand on the rad to see how warm it was. Seemed ok. Then she said, "I didn't put the water in there, I put it in there," pointing to the engine oil filler cap !! Whip cap of engine, yup, 5 litres of mayonnaise ! Jacked it up, out with the sump drain plug, left it to drain for an hour. Popped round local garage, 5ltrs of the cheapest oil they sold plus new filter. Fixed it up, went for 10 mile run. Did the same again. Told her to bring it back a week later. Same again, 'cept some decent oil. Ran fine for ever after !!

Daston

6,077 posts

204 months

Friday 12th October 2012
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Well I think I should share the few I have.....enjoy

Mk2 Golf GTI 8V.
Paid hardly anything for it, test drove it and it seemed mechanicly fine just a lot of TLC needed.
Drove it about 70 mines home parked up went to bed. Got up the next day to find a pool of oil around the the oil cooler. So ordered a new O-ring fixed the cooler and all was well.

Put the car into an MOT a week later (as it had just ran out), on the way back I thought I would drop a cog and boot it, followed by a massive white cloud as the head gasket blew.

Stripped the engine down using a haynes manual and all was going ok, however no matter how tightly I put the head back on it still kept burning oil (didnt get it skimmed) in the end I gave up, ran out of money, time and patients and sold it on ebay. Chap picks it up and a week later tells me the piston rings were shot and the head was warped to buggery lol.

Next fun time was servicing the Tuscan. After reading up on the Dry Sump I knew it was important to make sure the oil was hot and to get it out before it drained out of the swirl pot. I jacked the car up loosened the sump plug and started the engine, all was going well.
So I put the tray under the car killed the engine and undid the sump plug, it then proceeded to skirt about 6 liters of oil at quite high pressure a good 1 meter across the bottom of the chassis (well it wont rust now) across the drive and me! My first instict was to jump up as I got hit with hot oil so nutted the out rigger quite hard! With one hand holding my head and the other franticly scrabbling for the drip tray I managed to catch most of the oil. My wife found it ever so funny when I walked in head in hand and covered in oil...you gotta laugh right?

*Fletch*

289 posts

184 months

Friday 12th October 2012
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zedx19 said:
Super Slo Mo said:
zedx19 said:
Changed the discs and pads on a mates Corsa, we drove down my street to check everything was ok, noticed the steering wheel wobbled a bit, didn't tighten up the wheel bolts lol

Weekend just gone, servicing the mrs 2004 Focus 1.6, dreaded drop links which everytime I try and change always end up rounding off the allen key. Done this so many times on my GTI-6 and the Focus suspension is near identical, so thought I'd get a decent socket attachement allen key. All was going well, until the bloody nut rounded off. Half hour of angle grinding the fook out the nut sorted it, not really a blunder, but bloody annoying! Why do they make drop links so damn hard to remove??
You need a nut splitter. Two minutes (admittedly, it takes some effort) with a ratchet and the nut will be cracked and will wind off easily.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B000LFXN94/?tag=hydra0b...

May not be the 'professional' way to do things, but it works.
Thanks for that, will order for next time, looks a lot easier then sparks flying everywhere with an angle grinder!
Or just tighten the nut until it shears. Tada! Old droplink released smile

zedx19

2,774 posts

141 months

Friday 12th October 2012
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*Fletch* said:
Or just tighten the nut until it shears. Tada! Old droplink released smile
How do you tighten a nut that has rounded?

Baldy881

1,333 posts

178 months

Friday 12th October 2012
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Had a few hehe

After seeing/helping my mechanic cousin do Nova SR head gaskets a few times i decided to try mine myself. Borrowed the required tools and managed to get the engine apart down to the gasket, could not put it back together though.

Similar with an Honda VFR400 NC30, stripped it down in the back of my living room to do valve clearances. Checked everything as per Mr Haynes and it all seemed ok (no shimming needed). Just couldn't believe i'd done it right but couldn't remember what went where so had to call local bike shop who came with van, took it away and rebuilt it all for me. (It didn't need any shims lol).

Serviced a Renault 19 myself and was seeing some bird from Sussex at the time. I was driving back up the M1 from hers and the engine started losing power and making a gurgling sound around Derbyshire. Quite scared, bee lined immediately onto hard shoulder and used SOS phone to summons help. Chap turns up in recovery truck, pops bonnet and finds spark plug hanging out that i'd obviously not tightened up banghead Cost me £120 for that pleasure.

I've fked various other bike/car jobs up but for a pen pusher i don't think i do too bad smile Better at taking things apart for sure!

Justin S

3,643 posts

262 months

Friday 12th October 2012
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Years ago when I was 18 and skint, my neighbour had a mk4 Cortina. Said he needed to put a clutch in it. I volunteered to have a day off work and fit it for cash. I put it up on ramps and took out the propshaft. Undid the bellhousing and thought about dropping the box onto me and wiggle it out. Good idea, but when the box dropped onto me, was a cast iron box, weighed a ton and was still in the transmission tunnel lying on top of me , so was stuck............ for 2 hours until my neighbour popped home from lunch to see how I was doing !!!
Mate's Mk2 Escort estate shed, which he ran why building his westfield. Was getting slower and slower and would suddenly overheat. We rolled into a pub carpark surrounded in brown steaming water. 'Theory has it now there is no water left in the rad' I said , as I removed the cap. Whoooosh, I got hit flat in the face with scalding water. Cue burnt red face for the next 2 weeks.
Things havent changed for the last 25 years either. Daughters Polo was coming up to MOT time and the advisory from last year was front wishbone bushes, so i bought a complete set of lower arms including bushes and balljoints. ' Ready to fit' as advertised. Haynes manual doesnt say about having to lift the engine to clear the bolts from the sump, but thats another story. I fitted them, went for a drive. Seemed OK. A week later, I find a bolt on the drive. Must look into that, I thought. Then the Mrs said the car seemed strange. So, I look under the car and find that one of the balljoints is held on by 3 bolts. Well was. One bolt gone, the other was the one off the drive and the third one was 2 threads away from falling out !!! New bolts fitted, lock washered and loctited. Checked the other wishbone, all tight 'as advertised' Never trust any pre made assembly !!! And I am the one saying I worry for her crashing the car and loosing her no claims !!

kpb

305 posts

176 months

Friday 12th October 2012
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stoocake said:
I KNEW that the firing order for this car was 1-3-2-4. I absolutely KNEW that, so no amount of checking revealed the problem. I called the AA out, who swapped two leads around - problem solved.
Diagnosing that fault used to be part of the interview process for an AA patrol.

I've made a few mistakes but the biggest embarrassment I've had when working on a car was when my Dad got me to pump the pedal whilst he bled the brakes.

He shouts that they are 'all good' but says 'one more thing, can you turn the front wheels left and right onto full lock please?'. I dutifully do as asked.

He then mutters something to my brother and shouts "okay, can you turn the BACK wheels left and right please?" and like a dunce i'm sat in the driver's seat spinning the steering wheel whilst they roar with laughter.

soda

1,131 posts

162 months

Friday 12th October 2012
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It has just occured to me that all my disasters have been on the same car, my old 330d.

I've done the not tightening the wheel bolts properly after working on it.

While changing the front pads I was having difficulty releasing the pad retaining clip. After some abuse with a large screwdriver it released itself with considerable velocity into my forehead.

While replacing the propshaft donut I dropped the end of the shaft on myself while under the car, the pain caused me to try to sit up very quickly. I then split my head open.

Most frustrating job ever was replacing the window regulator, I hate faffing about with bits of trim. Took my time and had it replaced and working smoothly. Put everything back together carefully and admired my now perfectly working window. My pleasure was shortlived when I realised I hadn't connected the door speaker, had to take it apart again to fix that. Put it all back together and I now had sound again from the speaker. Only this time I hadn't connected the wire for the window switch. Air turned blue.

Thankfully I've had no more disaster efforts since getting rid of that car, long may it continue.

V8RX7

26,927 posts

264 months

Friday 12th October 2012
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I fitted a new section of door rubber to my van.

I had a lovely sharp Schrade knife that I didn't want to damage so instead of cutting toward the van I cut towards me...

managed to slice straight through one nostril and halfway through the centre bit.

Blood everywhere, waited hours in A&E for them just to use superglue - I could have done that !

Luckily no lasting damage just a small scar.


iva cosworth

44,044 posts

164 months

Friday 12th October 2012
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I have recently replaced the fuel pump on the Cosworth and now my fuel guage is stuck at

zero with light on.

I believe i should have held the guage sender "arm" up while dropping it back into

the tank and it got stuck in the fuel collector thing in tank.

Out comes the tank again or drive without guage and fill up regularlywobble

muley

1,453 posts

282 months

Friday 12th October 2012
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Rebuilt my Midget engine - out of the car because the sump is inaccessible.Fitted the clutch and gearbox put the whole shebang back in the car.

Added a few parts, then it was time to refit the distributor drive. Juggling to get it in I managed to get it past the camshaft gear and heard a metallic clank as it hit the bottom of the sump.

Had to take the whole thing out again..


The Black Flash

13,735 posts

199 months

Friday 12th October 2012
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zedx19 said:
Heater matrix went on my GTi-6,
Lots of pugs with heater matrixes going, the one on my 405 went as well. Which was one of the least annoying things it did to me.

V8RX7 said:
I fitted a new section of door rubber to my van.

I had a lovely sharp Schrade knife that I didn't want to damage so instead of cutting toward the van I cut towards me...

managed to slice straight through one nostril and halfway through the centre bit.
...And OUCH!

Faust66

2,042 posts

166 months

Friday 12th October 2012
quotequote all
iva cosworth said:
I have recently replaced the fuel pump on the Cosworth and now my fuel guage is stuck at

zero with light on.

I believe i should have held the guage sender "arm" up while dropping it back into

the tank and it got stuck in the fuel collector thing in tank.

Out comes the tank again or drive without guage and fill up regularlywobble
I feel your pain: replaced the fuel pump on my XR4x4 a couple of weeks ago... horrible, filthy job (tank was had 20 litres of fuel in and I was to lazy to siphon it out which made the job so much easier!).

I'd zero the tip meter and use that to gauge how much fuel you've got in the tank.

Why did Ford not put an access panel in the boot floor?

HoggyR32

341 posts

149 months

Saturday 13th October 2012
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Some of these are priceless!

My tuppence worth, Years ago my mrs had a 205 gti as her first car. Great fun but it was an old car and didn't really like to start! Numerous hours spent tinkering with it and goodness knows how many bump starts! So one day it wouldn't start I had a play about. Now bearing in mind I'd only known the girl for a few months so I'm stil trying to convince her of my manly-ness. After a bit mucking about with things and lots of attempts at bump starting it, I gave up. Used her mothers AA policy and called them out. So the chap arrives, opens the bonnet and lifts the loose distributor cap from inside the engine bay. "so it just stopped starting huh" he asks, at which point I'm trying to shield my mrs and her mums view of my glorious fail! I managed to convince him it must have fell of as we were trying to bump start it up and down the street!

Ray Luxury-Yacht

8,910 posts

217 months

Saturday 13th October 2012
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Seen a few replies about not tightening wheel bolts / leaving the locking wheel nut key on one of the bolts.

I have never done this: however TWO bloody garages have done it to me mad

First one, my Fiesta. Luckily, when I collected it, I asked "where's the locking key?" To which they replied "errrr..." and cue mechanics looking all around the garage for it. The mechanic that had done the job had already left, so they couldn't ask him.

While they were flapping around, I asked if the car had been test-driven. Yes it had. So I went off walking along the road of the industrial estate away from the unit, and lo and behold, there was my key, laying in the road about 100 yards from the garage...


Second and worse one, my Porsche 911. Had some work done which involved removing the front wheels.

I'm driving home, and about 20 miles from the garage on a fast bit of A-road, I'm 'making progress' and suddenly there was an almighty bang from underneath the car - I felt it through the floor and my feet! yikes

Once I'd stopped and had a look around, I finally noticed what had happened. One of the front wheel bolts had come out completely!! It had gouged a chunk out of the rim on it's way, then hit the road and bounced under the car. It had put a HUGE dent into the floorpan!!! I were not happy like. I then removed the wheel brace and tightened up all the remaining loose bolts. Fume.

I managed to tap the dent out and re-seal the broken underseal the following weekend.


Jayfish

6,795 posts

204 months

Saturday 13th October 2012
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One of my previous fiats, at the time newly purchased, I had lamp saying 'brake' come on; I had noticed the brakes weren't wonderful and I was getting a squeal from the fronts. A quick visual of the disk told me that was fine so I ordered in some pads and got a mate to fit them while I was at work.
He phoned me to say the pads looked fine to him, in fact almost new but I insisted and he did the swap for which he was duly paid. The warning lamp didn't go out and a quick google later I found out it was a rear brake light warning and the squealing and lower than expected performance was a brand new set of pads bedding in. Doh!