A brief introduction to home mechanics

[PaulJC84]

I feel everyones pain.

I like to think I enjoy working on cars until I am a few hours in thinking life is too short for this and cursing everything in sight. A few hours later it is all forgotten. I tend to have a list of a few jobs to do in one go and start out all positive but it eventually wears off.

I am very lucky as a friend of mine is a mechanic and lets me use his workshop as he is on his own and has a few ramps. I always give him something for being so generous but I do still sometimes feel a bit guilty just in case I am in the way.

[Mr2Mike]

Prof Prolapse said:

Anyone else feel the same? "Too old and/or too rich for this st?", yet still scrambling under your cars?

Pretty much exactly this. Don't like working on cars much these days, mainly as I have to do it outside on a narrow steep driveway, but the thought of having my car butchered by some incompetent baboon at a garage keeps me going.

Still love working on the bike though, as I can do it inside my workshop and since it's more of a toy than a necessity there's no pressure to get it finished to be able to get to work.

[aww999]

I am planning to cut right down on my home mechanics. I've just sold my Mk1 MR2 (after doing a ton of work to it and only driving it 2000 miles!) as I am tired of dealing with ancient nuts and bolts. However, I find it hard to trust other people to work on my cars, and in some weird ways it's more convenient to be able to do things myself - eg both tie rods on my LS400 had knackered balljoints, which I spotted three days before the MOT was due. I was able to source and fit genuine Lexus parts in time (by working outside until 10pm on the coldest day of the year . . .), whereas I would have had to take time out of work to drop it at a garage and no guarantee how long they'd take to do it. I also know everything is adjusted properly, torqued up as per the giant repair manual with a calibrated torque wrench, etc.

There must be a sweet spot for working on cars though, eg young enough that exposed fasteners haven't turned into orange blobs of rust, but old enough that it was designed by an engineer who cared about making parts accessible, serviceable and replaceable.

[mini me]

Mr2Mike said:

Prof Prolapse said:

Anyone else feel the same? "Too old and/or too rich for this st?", yet still scrambling under your cars?

Pretty much exactly this. Don't like working on cars much these days, mainly as I have to do it outside on a narrow steep driveway, but the thought of having my car butchered by some incompetent baboon at a garage keeps me going.

Bang on. I really really tried with the current car to not do anything. Send it to a reputable specialist etc. I'm too old, my time is worth more etc. I used them twice, first time I wasn't entirely convinced they were being straight with me. Second time I just know they did a bad job. As the saying goes, if you want a job done properly....

I will be doing all my own work again from now on I think. Shame as I would much prefer to spend my time with the family but I cant stomach paying people for doing a less than pefect job.


Anybody know of any really good Merc specialists in Essex?

[SonicShadow]

How did you manage to round bolts on a 10 year old car? Crap 12 point sockets instead of proper 6 sided sockets, I assume?

A 90's Jap car isn't for you if you're rounding bolts on such a relatively new car

[PositronicRay]

I hated all this st as a young man, but skint I was so had to be done.

During the 80's I had better jobs and therefore paid other people to do stuff, then company cars so no need.

Now I'm in my 50's with time on my hands, I'm at it again.

However.
1) Tools are cheaper, better designed and better quality. (scissor jacks and monkey metal were all I could afford in the 70's)
2) I pick and choose jobs and timing. (If it doesn't get done so be it. Unwind and walk the dog. No biggie, wait till the weather/moods better)
3) Internet is wonderful. (instead of hammering the hell out of something, I just have a break and check I'm doing it right) Shop for parts and specialist tools you've never heard of.
4) I know my limits. (Some jobs I won't attempt without a proper lift)
5) Mrs PR has a newish car with service plan and warranty. So never stuck without that all important widget you've just broken, forgotten, or just didn't know you needed.

Gone are the days of tottering about on a stack of 4 cars removing parts. Parking my car on high kerb to give me more space, whilst lying in the gutter amongst drizzle, sleet and st. Deadline, need the car for work in the morning. Failing light, screwing up and having to do the bd thing again.

I would like a bigger garage, flat drive and a lift but all in all I quite enjoy myself, and it helps me bond with the car.

[Faust66]

Ah, the joys of working on cars when you could've paid someone else to have done the work… whilst you spend some quality time in the pub.

Thought I'd change the support & torque arms on my Volvo Amazon yesterday… got all the parts I need, nice new polybushes are already pressed into the arms, brand new fastenings (don't like re-using 46 year old nuts and bolts if I can possibly help it), got an impact gun and plenty of plus gas.

Get the car in the air, sturdy axle stands and only 4 bolts on each side of the car, so hey, how hard can it be?

Started the job at 11am, and by 5pm I had managed to undo 2 bolts. Yep, 2 bolts in 6 hours. I take it far to personally when I'm defeated by a sized bolt.

bd bloody lack of access, fking corroded threads, bloody blow torch had run out of gas so I couldn't use any heat, lying for hours on wet tarmac, skinned my sodding knuckles numerous times, was half blinded by flakes of underseal, rust and st that lurk in the nooks and crannies of old cars and today I'm totally fking knacked and my back is playing up. I'm only 40 but I really do take longer than I used to when recovering from bouts of wrestling with cars.

Sometimes I really hate my car.









































Can't wait until next weekend though… I'll get the bd told! Bet it pisses down with rain just so I can get the full house of car maintainer misery.

[Prof Prolapse]

Mr2Mike said:

Still love working on the bike though, as I can do it inside my workshop and since it's more of a toy than a necessity there's no pressure to get it finished to be able to get to work.

I must admit working on the bike is hugely less annoying. Mostly because everything is simple, easy access, and not rotten.

I need a spare though, as I often find I end up working on it when I should be riding it.

[Benbay001]

Prof Prolapse said:

Anyone else feel the same? "Too old and/or too rich for this st?", yet still scrambling under your cars?

My dad keeps telling me he is.
I tell him to MTFU and fix my car.

[Steve_W]

Piersman2 said:

P.S. Does anyone want a Range Rover front bumper, jaguar alloy wheel, jaguar supercharger, range rover turbos or a selection of old batteries? They're all clogging up my garage or down the side of the house. Help yourselves!

You know, part of me is very tempted to take you up on the offer of the supercharger and a turbo as I've always wanted to take one of each apart to see how it all fits together/works/the engineering involved - makes even more sense to do that on knackered ones as if I break anything it wouldn't matter. It's the curious monkey in us blokes that like to tinker I guess.

And, OP, thanks for this thread; it has brought a smile to my face. Like lots of us I hate feeling that I can't do something simple, even if it takes twice as long as a pro garage - although my OH would argue that if I say "just going to change ... on the car, should only take an hour" she knows it'll take at least 4!

It's funny how some folk eye any work on cars as a black art. I was at home one day to let some guys in to do work on the heating and decided to change the brakes/discs on the OH's Freelander rather than sit around and make them feel watched. Had to nip out to the factors to get a replacement caliper too as the pistons were knackered.

Luckily all went well and I had everything fitted, bled, and back driveable before the gas guys had finished. One of them was mightily impressed I'd replaced brakes on the driveway instead of booking it in - I replied that it was easy enough, just follow a simple procedure and make sure all was bled up ok and I'd rather do that than work on gas "Nah mate, gas is easy, just solder it up and don't smoke when you test it! But bugger up the brakes on my van and I'll probably end up parked in some old dear's front room"

[V8RX7]

I'm similar... I started working on my cars because local mechanics kept getting it wrong.

If I could take my (modified) cars to someone who would do as thorough a job - I would (for some jobs) but I'm unaware of anyone.

I do sometimes let them work on my wife's car but I usually regret it.

Equally cars I haven't shed blood sweat and tears on don't feel like mine - I know every bolt on my MX5 and most on my RX7, they are my cars, built by me and irreplaceable.

However sometimes when a job goes wrong - usually due to aged components or a previous owners hamfistedness I wonder why on earth am I doing it - the answer is - because I want it done right.

[With these feet]

Yes. And I'm a mechanic running a workshop!


Take this evening for example, 5.15 a guy turns up so I can fit a track control arm and brake pads as he needs the van during the day. Motor factors given reg for parts and started stripping bits off to compare only to realise the wrong arm had been supplied.

Theres no money in the job whatsoever, so the fact I now have to do it again just grates a bit.

Must be nearly 30 years spannering and whether its weekends or all week, my nails are black, theres a constant pile of dirty clothes from crawling under stuff, my neck aches, Ive constant back ache along with tingling in my right hand. Still, I do something that I still quite enjoy when it goes right and part of the job has let me see quite a bit of the world.

[Collectingbrass]

I had this this weekend I could either pay a fast fit place to change my E39's front discs and pads or I could DIY in the car park at my flats.

The former would involve being
- warm
- dry
- comfy chairs
- clean hands
- sexy receptionsit
- getting up early (to beat the queue)
- as much vending machine coffee & sky sports as I could handle
and £275 or
- wet
- cold
- black hands despite latex gloves
- a blacker temper
but
- decent coffee
- fresh air
- my own choice of podcasts
- start time to suit me and the bacon roll
and less than £100 in bits (and no new tools this time, I must have done something wrong!!)

Of course I went for the DIY option, who wouldn't? Yes ok the answer is all the sensible people, but once the home run started I uttered my favourite Wile E. Coyte saying:

"Beep beep now you bd"

[beko1987]

I started by helping a mate with his car before I could drive, and when I passed and got my own cars started spannering.

I started with new discs and pads, then coolant flushes/thermostat changes etc. Stepped it up a notch last year with a new cambelt/waterpump/tensioners on SWMBO's Meriva (with a £300 Zafira with the same engine on my ebay watch list just in case), it all went very well. Do all the spannering on my £300 ZX too, because garages would just laugh at it.

I often look at all my tools in their various boxes/cases and think I should jsut buy a massive set in one box, but I have all the tools I need now, so whats the point?

[lostkiwi]

I started spannering on Minis. Any car is a relief after the original Mini. How I managed to retain my 6 foot height is a complete mystery to me as much of my teenage years were spent bent double like a human staple cursing over the stupid designer that put a bolt in a place only a spider can get to and needing the strength of a gorilla to undo.

I then went on to build competition cars - both for circuit and rally work and would often spend all my weekends away doing spannering for someone else, often lying in the mud in near zero temperatures changing a damned gearbox for the third time in three events (or in one case for the third time in one event!). Funny thing is I look back on that time as being great fun and have many fond memories of it - especially the mad cross country dash that was often involved in meeting the car as it exited a rally stage and shadowing it with essential spares back to service where we'd all muck in and sort any issues.

Roll forward to company cars and a change of country and it ll stopped. Fingernails became pink coloured. Scars on hands healed. Weekends had enough free time to take up climbing, volleyball, mountain biking and squash (all more or less in the same weekend!). But for some reason the spannering desire never fully went away....
So when the chancellor decided company cars were a marvellous cash cow it was time to buy my own. Cue lowering kits, servicing and general tinkering, black fingernails, scars and bruises. Thats was 20 years ago and I'm still doing it.
On odd occasions I'll send a car away to be done but more often than not I'll do it myself and pay the price of oily walls, door knobs and death ray stares from her indoors as I ruin yet another pair of jeans, best tea towel or some such or turn the neighbourhood air blue with curses when something snaps.
Can I afford to have someone else do it? Yes. But there is still something very satisfying in using your own skills to sort issues.

This will ring true to many of you on here:

apocryphal tale said:

Waxoil….

I really wanted to get some of this into the Land Rover's chassis before I started using it. I had gone to halfords and bought 2 gallons, and knocked off work early.
I also had the real benefit that SWMBO was out so I had since 3.00pm been shoving the 2 gallon cans into the sink with near boiling water. I should have known things were going to go “slightly wrong” when I started.
I decided to use a Waxoil gun and my compressor, I had the propane burner on in the workshop since 3.00pm flat out and it was like the sahara, in fact it was so hot I decided a T-shirt and shorts was the dress code.
Grabbing some white spirit to further thin the waxoil I entered the kitchen and unscrewed the waxoil lid.

Thhhhuuuumpppppppp !…grwat big snotty big dollop spewed out over the kitchen worksurface... no probs I thought, ...I’ll sort that out when I’ve finished, as I might make "a little bit more mess yet".... glad she's not in.

Clutching hot waxoil injector thingy, part filled with waxoil and mixed with very very warm white spirit I squirted and soaked the chassis blasting away, and also practising holding my breath as it went misty in the workshop.
1 Gallon later I was nearly there, I was at the rear cross member, with yet another huge refill.
I ought to point out that I had also decided that at some of the angles I was at pulling and holding the trigger was a pain so I had devised a cunning lock of an elastic band on the trigger so that I could let it do it things whilst it sprayed away. Shove tube into hole and pull trigger… lock and waggle etc.

Enter the cat.

It sat there and looked at me the way only a cat can... it sniffed (unapprovingly) the dripped waxoil, and I said…
“Huh, you don’t want to be in here matey, this stuff will stick to your fur like brown stuff to a blanket”……and at that very point the jammed on tube extension came off the gun.
Could I release the elastic band round the trigger ? Could I XXXXXX.
The gun squirted warm waxoil/white spirit out at a force never so far experienced, one particularly good jet hit the cat, who bolted, knocking over the 2/3 empty (1/3 full!!) can of hot waxoil/white spirt mix, which flowed oh so well under the landy, and into my clothes T shirt and clothes and skin areas exposed..., but I was still fighting with the hot octopus trying to switch the damned thing off, but I failed, I was saved when it ran out.
Just when I thought nothing could get worse than lying under a Land Rover with waxoil soaked clothes, waxoil dripping onto my hair and face, and running into my ears... Some waxoil drpped onto the lead lamp... ping... Blackness.
It also pinged the fuse for the lighting circuit, getting myself out of the underneath of the landy proved friutfull, in that I knew all the places that waxoil had “leaked”.
Removing dripping clothes I entered house in “minimal Clothes” to resolve fuse prob, when Lights went on I saw the cat…

I AM GOING TO DIE IF SHE SEES THIS !

Here Puddie cattie……
This did not improve the sink/kitchen area one little jot, .....ever tried holding a 'waxoiled cat' in a sink with water and rags, and especially when cat does not enjoy it ?
1 hour later cat was scrubbed and very peed off with me, I’ve had 2 baths, and also cleaned the bath it seems that the bath will not be rusty...scrubbed kitchen floor, sink, worktop
Will she notice?
Cat stinks, garage stinks, alley way stinks, I stink, kitchen smells of lemon washing up liquid, which strangely we seem to nearly be out of, floor stinks.
She will be back any minute [gulp]. Nice job on the Landy tho....... :-)))

...later that evening...... Alleyway door closes and SWMBO walks in..... "have a nice time dear ?......." "what the HELL is that smell ?"

"Smell ?....er do you mean the waxoil ?" "Is that what it is - its disgusting" "Er..really"....

"yes really, the alleyway stinks, I mean I could smell it when I got out of the car..."
"er...really ?"
"yes, Really, I mean its stinking everywhere out, its even permutated the house " "really"
"yes really and [picks up cat - I look away at telly and pray]...and ....good grief even the cat smells of it its ....[at this point the cat growls.....probably hand enough of being "handled" during the evening...]..."WELL if your going to be like that madam you grumpy old thing" ...[places cat down firmly - cat grumbles some more].. cat exits still grumbling

"Charming... well... Anyway, have you finished?"

THOUGHTS...............

I've got away with it...."all done"...I've got away with it...."think I'll have a beer"...I've got away with it....I've got away with it...."Would you like a glass of wine ?"....I've got away with it....yippee....I've got away with it....and

SHE'S GOT THE HUMP WITH THE CAT TOO - NOT ME !!

Beer.... Bed.... RESULT....... !

But a bit close for comfort......far to close

[DS197]

Such a shame you're all complaining. I wish I had the skills or knowledge to be able to work on the mechanical parts of a car in the first place. Spare a thought for those who have no option but to take it to a garage.

[lostkiwi]

DS197 said:

Such a shame you're all complaining. I wish I had the skills or knowledge to be able to work on the mechanical parts of a car in the first place. Spare a thought for those who have no option but to take it to a garage.

Why not do a part time course to learn?

[Patrick Bateman]

This why I don't bother for most of it.

At work if a bolt is sheared I can go and grab the oxy-acetylene, if I shear a bolt on the drive while I'm doing my brakes I'm a little more inconvenienced.

[TroubledSoul]

Prof Prolapse said:

This is mostly cathartic.

On Saturday night I punched myself in the face as I rounded off a bolt as I fitted new calipers to the old C-Max. It should have taken about three hours. It took double and there's blood all over my driveway, my overalls, and ironically, the brakes still need bled. The punch to the face reminded me of my youth, in so much as I felt too fking old to be doing stuff like this.

Nowadays I've got scars all over my hands, my nails are always dirty, the skin around them is permanently cracked, and all the gloss white frames leading to the workshop are discoloured. The side of the house has old discs, exhausts, and miscellaneous metal parts waiting for the tip, which I now have to space out visits as they have begun to hassle me.

In the workshop, most of my electrical fixtures are zip tied in place, I've what must account to a few grand in tools I've collected over the last 13 years. Only an vindictive thief would want them as there's parts missing from every set, hammer marks on chrome sockets, and the dirt is encrusted on everything. The spanners are grouped in what must be someone's nightmare, some have been cut in half for those "specialist tool" jobs, and I've components for cars that stopped production over two and a half decades and ago and aren't worth anything but for some reason I have yet to move them. Perhaps I live in hope of one day owning another 1995 MR2 turbo.

When relatives and work colleagues talk about cars I try not to be a smart arse but I think they see me cringe when they say something stupid. A young relative tells me their "camshaft has gone" on their low mileage Saxo. I ask for more information, but fail to contain my disdain at their condescension. They don't actually know what a camshaft is and just assumed I didn't know either. For a moment I actually envy her, if you don't know how it works you can't feel bad for paying someone else to fix it. Not reassuring she works at Halfords however. Although probably a good explanation.

Nowadays I do ok financially. I do not in all honesty need to own 10 year old MPVs and Japanese saloons. I could easily kit us out with modest new cars (although possibly not equivalent in my mind). In fact I could even pay someone to fix these things for me. But here I am exchanging time, frustration, and apparently blood, for money.

So once again it is Monday morning. I ache from a weekend of what "should of been an easy job". My nails are black, I should have got someone to do it, but I know I've paid a chunk of the spring holiday off with what I've saved. Christ almighty though, I fking wish I didn't have to do this anymore.

Anyone else feel the same? "Too old and/or too rich for this st?", yet still scrambling under your cars?

Edited by Prof Prolapse on Monday 25th January 10:30

This is actually me. Down to a tee. Even the MR2 Turbo part, albeit I draw the line at people carriers!

I sit here typing this now, with a large wound on the back of my right hand (skin scraped clean off when trying to spanner in a tight spot) and a knuckle on my left hand with a cut on it. The right hand one has been whacked and had the scab knocked off a few times this weekend just gone. In the last few months I have lost a fingernail, gained possibly a permanent scar on my thumb, smashed myself in the forehead with a bush I decided to remove with my bare hands and many more smaller incidents.

I could pay someone to do this stuff.... but knowing I can do it myself and not pay out hundreds, perhaps thousands of pounds in labour costs.... I just have to crack on and get stuff done!

[Gary29]

I know the feeling!! I've got 4 regular cars in my 'fleet' (mine, mums, dads, brothers) which I do all maintenance on, including 'serious' stuff like cambelt changes etc, and a track day car, and about 3 or 4 people that 'use' me when they want to save a few quid.

I learnt everything off my dad, and he learnt off his dad, so a lot of the tools at my disposal are at least 60 years old, but at least they're built to survive a nuclear holocaust, all the new stuff I've bought myself is crap in comparison.

I have actually managed to permanently tattoo one of my knuckles when removing a sump plug, slipped and got a load of old oil in the cut, when it healed it left a nice black scar that has remained ever since (6 years and counting now).

I'm the wrong side of 30 now and even I feel too old to be lying on my back in a puddle of oil and antifreeze on a bitter November morning, I've no kids of my own and my brother never showed an interest so I've no one to pass the baton onto for the foreseeable future either.