50 Shades Of Grey - Who's Bought Their Partner This?

[Mr Gearchange]

antspants said:

Mr Gearchange said:

Think about it as gentle persuasion from a literary source to encourange her to do the things she has always said 'no fking way' to in the past.
This can only be a good thig IMO.

What you mean to say that not only is it going to get her in the mood, without me having to do anything, but that there's also no such thing as a "wrong hole"?

That's what we all hope. God willing.

[clonmult]

ijm said:

Council Baby said:

ijm said:

From what I've been told the gistof it is: Virgin girly goes for a job with Mr Grey who gets her to enter into a contract that includes a 'she's to do anything he wants' clause.

Cue lots of S&M on almost every page after about 5 chapters or so.

Sounds not too different from the film 'The Secretary'

Although male phrases like "groped her massive tits" have been re-written as "cupped her pert breasts".

And other lousy language like "slowly put his erection in my sex". I mean, really??? Guess that women don't like phrases like "he kicked my vag in with such violence that I practically got ripped in two".

And for the record, I'm actually trying to read it. And not laugh. It is to erotic literature what L Ron Hubbard was to scifi, ie. a load of tosh.

However, a few (male) colleague say that its had the desired effect on their relevant swmbo, and the girls have upped their game.

Main reason for reading (in eBook form, so no-one can see the blasted cover), is that it :
1) helps me understand some of the bks that female friends/colleagues are talking about on facebook
2) woman I'm seeing on Friday (first date) is getting horny as hell reading it, and I'll be there to help her ....

[Council Baby]

Ahhh Moneypenny said:

I think I'd rather visualise having sex with a real person than reading aload of guff about other people getting it on but I never have been much of a reader

I can text you some pics if you like, no strings attached and all that

[clonmult]

LilPeteMordino said:

I find it quite funny that there is a rumour of it being made into a film... So a 'adult novel' being turned into a film...

I haven't read it, But surely the way it will be portrayed will take away from what the book goes on about?

With Brett Easton Ellis showing an interest, and the big screen version of his American Psycho was so watered down from the book version that it didn't really justify having the same title.

[antspants]

clonmult said:

Guess that women don't like phrases like "he kicked my vag in with such violence that I practically got ripped in two".

My out loud splutter has just given the not working game away

So I'm assuming from the previous comments that it's socially acceptable for women to be seen reading this, and that I don't need to lend the wife my kindle round the pool on holiday because "everybody knows your getting wet reading porn luv".

[clonmult]

antspants said:

clonmult said:

Guess that women don't like phrases like "he kicked my vag in with such violence that I practically got ripped in two".

My out loud splutter has just given the not working game away

So I'm assuming from the previous comments that it's socially acceptable for women to be seen reading this, and that I don't need to lend the wife my kindle round the pool on holiday because "everybody knows your getting wet reading porn luv".

Its successful down to a bloody good marketing campaign. Its badly written, but somehow appeals to womens "inner goddess" (those are the words used regularly in the bloody book ffs!!!).

Most mums are talking about it to each other when dropping kids off at the school in the morning, then probably whipping themselves up into a frenzy when they get home.

One of the women here made some comment about it being trash, but she still likes it (she's a good looking woman, her husband will be forever grateful to the author).

Girl I'm meeting on Friday night is totally lapping it up, not assuming that I'll be tying her to the bedposts face down after we've had a few drinks .... that'll be saturday night.

So while I don't understand the interest in it, I'm definitely going to use it to my advantage, don't look a gift horse in the mouth ...

[.:ian:.]

DanDC5 said:

Buggles said:

I think the point of this book is that the female doesn't get a choice.

All the chaps who's women are reading this book, try this tonight. When your lass walks in from work, be waiting for her with a balaclava on, nothing else and tie to her something large and immoveable and then pole her relentlessly until you've had your fill.

When she protests, just say 'But it's in that book that everyones' reading'

What could go wrong?

Literally nothing.

She could say "Barry, is that you?"

[Ahhh Moneypenny]

Council Baby said:

Ahhh Moneypenny said:

I think I'd rather visualise having sex with a real person than reading aload of guff about other people getting it on but I never have been much of a reader

I can text you some pics if you like, no strings attached and all that

I got some last time I was at your flat...they are laminated now

[Cock Womble 7]

It's hardly a new phenomenon either; mucky books for birds have been around for years.

[KrazyIvan]

Cock Womble 7 said:

It's hardly a new phenomenon either; mucky books for birds have been around for years.

So speaks the voice of experience.

[Council Baby]

Ahhh Moneypenny said:

Council Baby said:

Ahhh Moneypenny said:

I think I'd rather visualise having sex with a real person than reading aload of guff about other people getting it on but I never have been much of a reader

I can text you some pics if you like, no strings attached and all that

I got some last time I was at your flat...they are laminated now

Cum again?

[Negative Creep]

All the women at work are going on about this. Seems that ladies think porn is wrong, but love a dirty novel. Although being told about how much fun it is to read about sex by the 20 odd stone woman on our team kindof spoiled the atmosphere

[KrazyIvan]

Negative Creep said:

Although being told about how much fun it is to read about sex by the 20 odd stone woman on our team kindof spoiled the atmosphere

They all need luvin'

Does anyone know if their is an audio version read by Betty White

[mrmr96]

So what actually happens in it then?

[AyBee]

LilPeteMordino said:

I find it quite funny that there is a rumour of it being made into a film... So a 'adult novel' being turned into a film...

I haven't read it, But surely the way it will be portrayed will take away from what the book goes on about?

Isn't the book already based on a film, or many films?

[Cock Womble 7]

KrazyIvan said:

Cock Womble 7 said:

It's hardly a new phenomenon either; mucky books for birds have been around for years.

So speaks the voice of experience.

Yes.

[clonmult]

mrmr96 said:

So what actually happens in it then?

Young virgin meets ridiculously wealthy control freak.

They shag. A lot. She gets tied up. And gets shagged.

The end.

(I'm only half way through, in my attempt to better understand what women allegedly want)

There's a load of fluffy nonsense, so you can skip whole chapters until he starts to break her a new one.

[ijm]

mrmr96 said:

So what actually happens in it then?

Have you not been reading the thread - its been explained twice.

How long before somebody else pops up to ask that? I give it 5 pages...max.

[Ahhh Moneypenny]

ijm said:

Have you not been reading the thread - its been explained twice.

How long before somebody else pops up to ask that? I give it 5 pages...max.

So what does I don't like books

[Harry Flashman]

Lady F is reading it. Says that the writing/dialogue is appalling, with no real plot and repetitive: but for some reason, it turns her on something rotten. Sounds like the female equivalent of the average smut flick for us chaps.

It has made her, someone who already has the libido of a crazed crack addict looking for their next score into someone who is actually dangerous. I'm knackered, and frankly a bit scared. If she gets a whip out, I'm going to deck her.