The worst book you have ever read.

[Gargamel]

UnclePat said:

For such an interesting career - Iraq war, the famous ‘Garden of Eden, ferocious in battle, magnanimous in victory’ speech - Army Officer Tim Collins’ ‘Rules of Engagement’ was an incredibly dull read.

Also, any Lee Child past the first 7 or so - I read them out of habit (though rarely finish) as my FIL buys me them every year, and he clearly reached the ‘Will this do?’/‘Just make sure the cheque clears’ stage over a decade ago. ‘61 Hours’ being particularly cr*p - endless boring descriptions of the cold weather as filler (in the first year he wrote two books instead of one, it doesn’t half show), and a ludicrous ending fighting a midget in an underground bunker and surviving a massive explosion.

And Tolkien goes downhill:
- The Hobbit: Brilliant, but not a riddles fan
- LOTR: I’ll just skip the risible songs & poems
- The Silmarillion: Dear Lord, impenetrable nonsense that I’ve attempted & failed several times

The Silmarillion is a brilliant book, however the first 50 - 100 pages read more like the birth of religion than any actual novel. The scope of imagination is something to behold, but it doesn’t make great reading. The Lays of Bereland is the three principal stories of the Silmarillion but without the clutter of the beginning. I haven’t re read it or indeed any Tolkien for a long time, but I loved the Silmarillion.

[biggbn]

Hugo a Gogo said:

lauda said:

I’ve looked through this thread and agree that some of the books mentioned are boring or cheesy or badly written. However, none of them compare to How Late It Was, How Late by James Kelman.

I read it off the back of having read (and loved) Trainspotting and reading something where Kelman’s book was compared favourably to Welsh’s. Both are by Scottish authors. One is funny, shocking, heartbreaking and a work of genius. The other is an execrable pile of unreadable turd.

I’m pretty sure none of you will have read it and I can only advise that you maintain that situation. Even 20 years later, it stands head and shoulders above anything else I’ve ever read as the worst by a considerable margin. It won the Booker Prize....

I've read it.
fk, it was fking...fk!...

I liked it! Go figure.

[biggbn]

MC Bodge said:

I've read some crap books, but "Zen & The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" stands out as a famous one. It started promisingly, up until about halfway when Phaedrus was introduced.

Another one I actually enjoyed and have done to read again. I read it when I was younger and have since had a better education. Would be intersting to see if this makes it better or worse for me!

[biggbn]

MC Bodge said:

Europa1 said:

50 Shades of Grey.

[Awaits shower of abuse]

Which chapter was that in?

noted . Excellent

[UnclePat]

Gargamel said:

The Silmarillion is a brilliant book, however the first 50 - 100 pages read more like the birth of religion than any actual novel. The scope of imagination is something to behold, but it doesn’t make great reading. The Lays of Bereland is the three principal stories of the Silmarillion but without the clutter of the beginning. I haven’t re read it or indeed any Tolkien for a long time, but I loved the Silmarillion.

Thanks for the advice - if I ever pick-up the courage to reapproach it, I’ll maybe skip a few pages! Similarly, The Hobbit & LOTR were fantastic & important parts of my formative years, and I had a few of his other works, but I haven’t really felt the need to re-read them. I’ll maybe pick-up The Hobbit again with my daughter when she’s older, that would be nice I think.

[MC Bodge]

biggbn said:

MC Bodge said:

I've read some crap books, but "Zen & The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" stands out as a famous one. It started promisingly, up until about halfway when Phaedrus was introduced.

Another one I actually enjoyed and have done to read again. I read it when I was younger and have since had a better education. Would be intersting to see if this makes it better or worse for me!

A few claim to have liked it. Maybe my mind just doesn't work like Pirsig's.

For those who are curious, this is a very good summary

[RizzoTheRat]

paua said:

I may have been the only person in my senior class who managed to read all of "Catch 22:

I really enjoyed Catch-22 when I first read it, but tried to reread it some years later and just couldn't get in to it.

UnclePat said:

For such an interesting career - Iraq war, the famous ‘Garden of Eden, ferocious in battle, magnanimous in victory’ speech - Army Officer Tim Collins’ ‘Rules of Engagement’ was an incredibly dull read.

I enjoyed it but he does come across as having a bit of a persecution complex. Possibly well founded in some instances but he always seems to feel his way was the right way and everyone else was wrong.

Edited by RizzoTheRat on Monday 29th June 13:17

[biggbn]

MC Bodge said:

biggbn said:

MC Bodge said:

I've read some crap books, but "Zen & The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" stands out as a famous one. It started promisingly, up until about halfway when Phaedrus was introduced.

Another one I actually enjoyed and have done to read again. I read it when I was younger and have since had a better education. Would be intersting to see if this makes it better or worse for me!

A few claim to have liked it. Maybe my mind just doesn't work like Pirsig's.

For those who are curious, this is a very good summary

I liked but enjoyed that take on it! Thanks

[Alias218]

Alias218 said:

paulguitar said:

Inspired by another thread, ‘giving up on a book’ I would like to know what you would consider the worst book you have ever read?

Mine, as posted in that thread, are:


1: 'When the Wind Blows' by James Patterson. This is about, and I am not kidding, ‘secret flying children’.

2: ‘One Day’ by David Nicholls... Astonishingly awful.


So, everyone, your nominations?

When I saw this thread I immediately thought 'When the Wind Blows' and it's even more terrible sequel 'The Lake House'. Then I saw your no.1 choice and felt my decision was entirely vindicated!

They both had a terrible premise (although the idea of 'shucking' was vaguely interesting) and I couldn't stand James Patterson's writing style. I had to will myself to finish the second book as I hate to leave a book unfinished.

I may have found a new contender for worst book. ‘Breathless’, by Dean Koontz. So far there are at least four sub-plots which by mid-way point have little to do with one another. In fact, two of them may as well be from other books entirely. That, and the chapters are short. Dan Brown short. 2 pages short, in some instances.

It’s like he’s written three or four separate stories in one long piece and then arbitrarily chopped them into chunks and mixed them together.

There’s been about 25 pages of some guy walking around a house musing about some unseen intruder spread over half a dozen short chapters. We get it, move on to the next thing.

At least ‘The Way the Wind Blows’ had some sort of pacing and structure.

Anyway, only halfway through so hopefully it picks up a bit!

Edited by Alias218 on Thursday 24th September 09:34

[spikeyhead]

Alias218 said:

I may have found a new contender for worst book. ‘Breathless’, by Dean Koontz. So far there are at least four sub-plots which by mid-way point have little to do with one another. In fact, two of them may as well be from other books entirely. That, and the chapters are short. Dan Brown short. 2 pages short, in some instances.

It’s like he’s written three or four separate stories in one long piece and then arbitrarily chopped them into chunks and mixed them together.

There’s been about 25 pages of some guy walking around a house musing about some unseen intruder spread over half a dozen short chapters. We get it, move on to the next thing.

At least ‘The Way the Wind Blows’ had some sort of pacing and structure.

Anyway, only halfway through so hopefully it picks up a bit!

Edited by Alias218 on Thursday 24th September 09:34

I gave up reading Koonz when the golden retrievers (with their golden smile) were clearly more interesting to the author than anything else.

[Mezzanine]

bigandclever said:

Peter Robinson reviewed the klf/JAMS book '2023' saying "a novel which is either impenetrable or terrible or both" and I got this far and think he may have a point.

I made it to about 100 pages before finally giving up. If I didn’t have a long standing enjoyment of Bill Drummond’s solo books, I wouldn’t have made it past page 20.

Dreadful nonsense.

1977 by David Peace. I half enjoyed 1974 but a quarter of the way into 1977, I couldn’t stand the senseless obsession with swearing/sexual violence etc.

I am not against graphic content when it aids the telling of a good story but to me it felt like Peace was like a sheltered child who had suddenly realised he could just write whatever naughty things he could think of down on the page. I found it all slightly pathetic - he is like the Michael Bay of fiction.

[Esceptico]

Agree with quite a few mentioned.

Didn’t understand why Catcher in the Rye was popular. Boring book with an irritating protagonist.

LOTR: found it very hard going despite being a big fantasy fan at the time I read it. Needed severe editing. The opposite to the Hobbit which was too short (why bother writing about a battle when you can have the main protagonist knocked unconscious at the start so he missed it all!)

Die Blechtrommel / The Tin Drum. Forced my way through half of it before giving up.

The Satanic Verses. Just can’t finish it. I really liked Midnight’s Children and when I start TSV I like it but then lose interest about a quarter of the way in. Have tried three times to read it with no success.

Cien años de Soledad / 100 years of solitude. I’ve read and liked short stories by Márquez but couldn’t finish his “masterpiece”. I appreciate the intent behind the book but having so many characters with the same name (and so many characters that are hard to care about) meant it was a struggle and I gave up.

Ursula le Guin’s Earthsea chronicles. Tried reading them to my daughter. Struggled to get through them. I seem to remember liking The Left Hand of Darkness and The Dispossessed but now questioning whether they were any good based on the Earthsea Chronicles.

The Life or Pi. Wish I could get the time back I wasted on that book.

[toasty]

Esceptico said:

Agree with quite a few mentioned.

Didn’t understand why Catcher in the Rye was popular. Boring book with an irritating protagonist.

LOTR: found it very hard going despite being a big fantasy fan at the time I read it. Needed severe editing. The opposite to the Hobbit which was too short (why bother writing about a battle when you can have the main protagonist knocked unconscious at the start so he missed it all!)

Die Blechtrommel / The Tin Drum. Forced my way through half of it before giving up.

The Satanic Verses. Just can’t finish it. I really liked Midnight’s Children and when I start TSV I like it but then lose interest about a quarter of the way in. Have tried three times to read it with no success.

Cien años de Soledad / 100 years of solitude. I’ve read and liked short stories by Márquez but couldn’t finish his “masterpiece”. I appreciate the intent behind the book but having so many characters with the same name (and so many characters that are hard to care about) meant it was a struggle and I gave up.

Ursula le Guin’s Earthsea chronicles. Tried reading them to my daughter. Struggled to get through them. I seem to remember liking The Left Hand of Darkness and The Dispossessed but now questioning whether they were any good based on the Earthsea Chronicles.

The Life or Pi. Wish I could get the time back I wasted on that book.

I agree with you on Catcher, LOTR and 100 years, all of which I struggled and failed to enjoy.

I did like the Life of Pi though.

[RyanOPlasty]

Esceptico said:

Agree with quite a few mentioned.

Didn’t understand why Catcher in the Rye was popular. Boring book with an irritating protagonist.

LOTR: found it very hard going despite being a big fantasy fan at the time I read it. Needed severe editing. The opposite to the Hobbit which was too short (why bother writing about a battle when you can have the main protagonist knocked unconscious at the start so he missed it all!)

Die Blechtrommel / The Tin Drum. Forced my way through half of it before giving up.

The Satanic Verses. Just can’t finish it. I really liked Midnight’s Children and when I start TSV I like it but then lose interest about a quarter of the way in. Have tried three times to read it with no success.

Cien años de Soledad / 100 years of solitude. I’ve read and liked short stories by Márquez but couldn’t finish his “masterpiece”. I appreciate the intent behind the book but having so many characters with the same name (and so many characters that are hard to care about) meant it was a struggle and I gave up.

Ursula le Guin’s Earthsea chronicles. Tried reading them to my daughter. Struggled to get through them. I seem to remember liking The Left Hand of Darkness and The Dispossessed but now questioning whether they were any good based on the Earthsea Chronicles.

The Life or Pi. Wish I could get the time back I wasted on that book.

I found Midnight's children quite the opposite, hated the writing style and just couldn't get into it. On the other handI couldn't put the Life of Pi down.

[coppice]

I struggled with Midnight's Children too but I blame the reader more than the author . Rushdie's autobiography , Joseph Anton - A Memoir - is a wonderful read . (JA was his assumed name when the fatwa threat was hot )

[notslopes]

UnclePat said:

For such an interesting career - Iraq war, the famous ‘Garden of Eden, ferocious in battle, magnanimous in victory’ speech - Army Officer Tim Collins’ ‘Rules of Engagement’ was an incredibly dull read.

Also, any Lee Child past the first 7 or so - I read them out of habit (though rarely finish) as my FIL buys me them every year, and he clearly reached the ‘Will this do?’/‘Just make sure the cheque clears’ stage over a decade ago. ‘61 Hours’ being particularly cr*p - endless boring descriptions of the cold weather as filler (in the first year he wrote two books instead of one, it doesn’t half show), and a ludicrous ending fighting a midget in an underground bunker and surviving a massive explosion.

And Tolkien goes downhill:
- The Hobbit: Brilliant, but not a riddles fan
- LOTR: I’ll just skip the risible songs & poems
- The Silmarillion: Dear Lord, impenetrable nonsense that I’ve attempted & failed several times

If you think Lee Child is dire, then don't read any of Scott Mariani's Ben Hope series or any of Matthew Reilly's Scarecrow series.

First one involves an unrivalled ex SAS guy who is the most dangerous person ever to have lived who is almost invulnerable

Second one is the literary equivalent of a Labrador puppy writing a book about a US Marine.

[cardigankid]

UnclePat said:

For such an interesting career - Iraq war, the famous ‘Garden of Eden, ferocious in battle, magnanimous in victory’ speech - Army Officer Tim Collins’ ‘Rules of Engagement’ was an incredibly dull read.

Also, any Lee Child past the first 7 or so - I read them out of habit (though rarely finish) as my FIL buys me them every year, and he clearly reached the ‘Will this do?’/‘Just make sure the cheque clears’ stage over a decade ago. ‘61 Hours’ being particularly cr*p - endless boring descriptions of the cold weather as filler (in the first year he wrote two books instead of one, it doesn’t half show), and a ludicrous ending fighting a midget in an underground bunker and surviving a massive explosion.

And Tolkien goes downhill:
- The Hobbit: Brilliant, but not a riddles fan
- LOTR: I’ll just skip the risible songs & poems
- The Silmarillion: Dear Lord, impenetrable nonsense that I’ve attempted & failed several times

I thought LOTR was fantastic, all the songs and poems just help to build up the atmosphere, while he never loses track of the plot. In fairness, after the success of the Hobbit and then LOTR, maybe Tolkien was under severe pressure to follow up, and my feeling is that the Silmarillion was basically background material which should never have been published. Just TMI. And if you think that was hard going, try the Children of Hurin, dull with added incest.

Lee Childs, just garbage. Jo Nesbo, likewise, who buys this trash? Man, there is some serious dross out there.

[Halmyre]

cardigankid said:

UnclePat said:

For such an interesting career - Iraq war, the famous ‘Garden of Eden, ferocious in battle, magnanimous in victory’ speech - Army Officer Tim Collins’ ‘Rules of Engagement’ was an incredibly dull read.

Also, any Lee Child past the first 7 or so - I read them out of habit (though rarely finish) as my FIL buys me them every year, and he clearly reached the ‘Will this do?’/‘Just make sure the cheque clears’ stage over a decade ago. ‘61 Hours’ being particularly cr*p - endless boring descriptions of the cold weather as filler (in the first year he wrote two books instead of one, it doesn’t half show), and a ludicrous ending fighting a midget in an underground bunker and surviving a massive explosion.

And Tolkien goes downhill:
- The Hobbit: Brilliant, but not a riddles fan
- LOTR: I’ll just skip the risible songs & poems
- The Silmarillion: Dear Lord, impenetrable nonsense that I’ve attempted & failed several times

I thought LOTR was fantastic, all the songs and poems just help to build up the atmosphere, while he never loses track of the plot. In fairness, after the success of the Hobbit and then LOTR, maybe Tolkien was under severe pressure to follow up, and my feeling is that the Silmarillion was basically background material which should never have been published. Just TMI. And if you think that was hard going, try the Children of Hurin, dull with added incest.

I don't think he was under pressure, more like he kept rewriting the material and never settled on a definitive narrative. His son Christopher lashed together The Silmarillion from various bits of writing. I started reading the History of Middle Earth, and it's fascinating to see how his ideas develop and sometimes are discarded (Aragorn was originally a hobbit called Trotter who had wooden feet!). Only got about halfway through because I couldn't get all the books from the library.

Tolkien also started work on a sequel to LOTR, The New Shadow, where a cult arises which worships the memory of Sauron. He abandoned it because it was too depressing to him.

[Genau]

"The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" by Stieg Larsson. In my defence, I was in a foreign country so the English language section of the bookshop wasn't great.

Pages of tedious technical detail on word processors followed by rape porn with some half-baked leftie lecturing thrown in. It's a good thing the smug, fat bd is dead because his obsession with sexual violence would warrant a visit from Wallender or Beck. You can almost hear the pasty nonce licking his lips as he writes it.

[coppice]

Just like that bloody Bill Shakespeare then , with his unhealthy appetite for murder, torture and rape. I rather enjoyed 'Girl with ' in fact, but as with many writers of that school , I suspect a one trick pony .