Most useless car accessory of all time ??

[LikesBikes]

curtisl said:

I think i have a winner!!!

I present to you - faux stick on sunroof!!

http://jalopnik.com/cars/oh-yeahhh/a-faux-stick-on...

This has to be a wind up surely? What happens when these girls described in the ad jump in (having left their pants on the kerb beforehand, presumably?) and notice you can't see the sunroof from the inside? That would take some explaining.

Westy Pre-Lit said:

This is well coolio. I WANT ONE!!!!!!!

http://www.demon-tweeks.co.uk/products/ProductDeta...

Unfortunately this probably isn't a wind up

[sniff petrol]

LikesBikes said:

curtisl said:

I think i have a winner!!!

I present to you - faux stick on sunroof!!

http://jalopnik.com/cars/oh-yeahhh/a-faux-stick-on...

This has to be a wind up surely? What happens when these girls described in the ad jump in (having left their pants on the kerb beforehand, presumably?) and notice you can't see the sunroof from the inside? That would take some explaining.

That first appeared on Ebay about 4-5 years ago and is definitely a wide up.

[Poledriver]

bournemouth boy said:

mrmr96 said:

On Time said:

mrmr96 said:

Electronic Dump Valve CLICK

It's an under bonnet speaker which makes a Tsssshhhhhhhhh noise when you change gear in your Nova/Corsa/Saxo/Whatever.

"The SABER-EDV is the ONLY way to gain the DUMP VALVE sound without spending thousands on a turbo conversion."

Gotta be in with a chance of winning the thread IMO.

Read the product feedback, its classic.

Feedback1 said:

ive recently fitted this "fake" dumpvalve on my nissan sunny, and i pulled because my new girlfriend thinks i have a turbo, but i really dont know whether to tell her the truth. i would recommend it guys it works!

Feedback2 said:

I think it's well smart. I got one to fit onto my Corsa Merit and it just transformed the car! All the people I pass, think I've got a Calibra Turbo conversion or something now! I pulled up with some lads alongside in a Clio 182 and after accelerating and they heard this, they turned to look at me and backed off! Mental kit - one that I cannot recommend highly enough if you want to sound cool...

Fek me!! I can't believe they put this on there site. It has to be some kind of "ironic joke", like GLC. Either that or they _really_ know their target audience well. If I hadn't seen this for sale at a couple of car shows I would have thought the whole product was a wind up.

Edited by mrmr96 on Saturday 12th April 14:41

Thats nothing http://www.vroombox.com/ its a speake that can make your corsa sound like a cobra

SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD!/ Why would anyone (I won't even say "in their right mind!" buy one of these?

[heebeegeetee]

Balmoral Green said:

Sat Nav

You're joking? Three times now my sat-nav has directed us to a superb pub when we've been in a locality we didn't know. Tap in nearest Dining Pub or Quality Pub and it takes you to a lovely thatched cottagey type place out in the sticks by a river. Its wonderful! And its got truck stops and greasy spoons on as well if i don't fancy paying twelve quid for lunch.

My vote is for the wood rimmed steering wheel. Nearly every classic car has one. They reduce your grip on the steering (nice on a non-PAS car), remove all feel from the steering, cause your hands to hide the guages when a smaller wheel is fitted, get very sweaty and even more slippery in hot weather, and will probably send shards, splinters and rivets into your face in an accident, and they're not exactly cheap either.

[cg360]

heebeegeetee said:

Balmoral Green said:

Sat Nav

You're joking? Three times now my sat-nav has directed us to a superb pub when we've been in a locality we didn't know. Tap in nearest Dining Pub or Quality Pub and it takes you to a lovely thatched cottagey type place out in the sticks by a river. Its wonderful! And its got truck stops and greasy spoons on as well if i don't fancy paying twelve quid for lunch.

My vote is for the wood rimmed steering wheel. Nearly every classic car has one. They reduce your grip on the steering (nice on a non-PAS car), remove all feel from the steering, cause your hands to hide the guages when a smaller wheel is fitted, get very sweaty and even more slippery in hot weather, and will probably send shards, splinters and rivets into your face in an accident, and they're not exactly cheap either.

In a period car, i don't agree, and many cars had them as standard. In a modern car, absolutely.

Although they don't mask feedback at all - a cushioned wheel is worse for that. Driving gloves stop the sweaty problem.

I vote for the rally mud flaps you can buy from Demon Tweeks.

Edited by cg360 on Sunday 13th April 08:46

[mrmr96]

What's wrong with Rally Mudflaps?

[matchmaker]

Years ago you used to able to get a fan which attached to the tailpipe. It was supposed to spin round and help suck the exhaust gasses out, thereby improving fuel consumption. Made by this lot advert

[snotrag]

Saw a fantastic one the other day.

You know those early 90's civics? The small 3 dr hatchbacks which bizarrely are favoured by Grannies, and barries simultaneously? With the wheezing 1.5 litre Vtec (yo) engines.


Well one of those, tpyically modded and 'smoothed' (filler and aerosol). Across the back windows was a large, shiny metal bar. Roll cage? No. Turret brace? No.

This large (#40mm OD?) steel bar was held in, at either end, by the bolts that hold the boot struts on, with the weediest brackets you have ever seen. Designed in such a way as to be cantilevered out from the bolt.

If it was supposed to be structural, it was the worse idea and solution I could possibly imagine.

It just served to show the driver as somebody who really doesnt know anything about function.

[Bungleaio]

[Sharief]

Those crap valve caps that light up when the wheel moves.

[heebeegeetee]

cg360 said:

heebeegeetee said:

My vote is for the wood rimmed steering wheel. Nearly every classic car has one. They reduce your grip on the steering (nice on a non-PAS car), remove all feel from the steering, cause your hands to hide the guages when a smaller wheel is fitted, get very sweaty and even more slippery in hot weather, and will probably send shards, splinters and rivets into your face in an accident, and they're not exactly cheap either.

In a period car, i don't agree, and many cars had them as standard. In a modern car, absolutely.

Although they don't mask feedback at all - a cushioned wheel is worse for that. Driving gloves stop the sweaty problem.

It was certainly my experience. I replaced my wooden wheel with a steering wheel of the correct size with a nice thin rim bound in leather, and oh boy, what a difference. Suddenly the steering had life and feel, i could see the guages i was supposed to see and the overdrive switch was within the span of my hand. I steered with fingers instead of fists and a slippy wheel was never a problem again. Plus it looked a million times better too.

[Tony427]

Balmoral Green said:

Chrispy Porker said:

the 'GT' bit on my Austin 1300 GT.

Pics & thread over in the Yesterdays heroes forum please.

I hope it's orange with a black vinyl roof.

Jeez, its like all my yesterdays...

Many years ago I worked weekends in a car body shop in Wigan. One customer sent in a front ended Austin 1300GT, orange with black Viynl roof and black and silver sports wheel trims. I thought it was brilliant.

I had the lovely job of chiselling off the smashed front wing, sweeping out all the broken glass, washing the blood off carpets and cleaning out the inside. It was then, under the seats I discovered the stash of polaroids and what looked like a bulk buy of Durex featherlite. Obviously as true bodyshop professionals we passed the polaroids around the garage and no doubt all over Wigan.

Once out of hospital following his trip through the windscreen the owner of the 1300gt took no more interest in the car and gave it to the garage owner who used it as his runaround. I think one of the chaps had recognised the lady from the polaroids as not being the car owners wife and the presence of the polaroids may have been mentioned in passing when discussing the car's future.

Many thanks for reminding me of my 1300GT memory.

cheers,

Tony

Edited by Tony427 on Sunday 13th April 20:13

[Poledriver]

Has nobody on here thought to include "Beaded car seat covers"?! Surely one of the most useless and bizarre accessories?
Uncomfortable to sit on, wierd to look at, and they usually fall apart after 2 weeks, leaving the proud purchaser with a car full of wooden beads!
Or has nobody mentioned it because everyone tried them once and is too embarrased to admit it here?

BAD NEWS! They seem to be back in the shops!!

[Pigeon]

My dad has one of those. My mum gave it to him for Christmas several years ago. She passed it round everyone in the room to try out by putting over the back of their armchair and wriggling sensuously on it. Which was OK for a few seconds, but I wouldn't want to drive a car sat on one.

[OwenK]

I've never understood the appeal of those beaded seat covers? I can't recall ever sitting on one but they look horribly uncomfortable and as stated above look naff - what's the point?

[Glosphil]

OwenK said:

I've never understood the appeal of those beaded seat covers? I can't recall ever sitting on one but they look horribly uncomfortable and as stated above look naff - what's the point?

I recently saw a Sierra with these fitted to both front seats. The beaded part that was intended to go over the top of the seat and a slight way down the back of the seat had been fitted to the front of the headrests. Imagine being rear-ended and having the back of your head slammed into a bunch of large wooden beads! Fractured skull?

[EDLT]

Everything sold by Project Kahn/Veilside

[James6112]

Neighbour has a new Landrover Defender
Tiny side storage box @£400!
Totally pointless
Must be well up there with the most pointless accessories..

[Super Sonic]

Chain link steering wheel
Furry dice
White wall tires
Side Pipes
Dummy scuttle spots