Whose going to be on the 2021 grid?
Discussion
My daughter is studying Sports Journalism at Leeds Trinity Uni and is starting to get really interested in F1. She's written the following article about the changes to the starting grid for 2021.
https://studentsonsport.com/featured/f1-whose-goin...
She's just starting out in the profession and has a lot to learn and practice but she's having fun and following her passion.
https://studentsonsport.com/featured/f1-whose-goin...
She's just starting out in the profession and has a lot to learn and practice but she's having fun and following her passion.
While I doubt there is anything in there that will be new or insightful for regulars to the PH formula 1 threads, it was well written and easy to read and would be a helpful introduction to someone just getting into the sport and not familiar with the drivers.
Only suggestion I have is about the title. Shouldn't it be "Who's" instead of "Whose"?
Only suggestion I have is about the title. Shouldn't it be "Who's" instead of "Whose"?
C350Akra said:
An interesting read. One thing I noticed is the wording for the McLaren drivers says Norris will join Ricciardo. It is the other way round, Norris is already there.
Also, it's Ricciardo, not Riccardo.Hopefully a journalism course also teaches the importance of sub-editing and spelling your subject's name correctly.
It needs to be spell and grammar checked. The title "Whose going" should be "Who is going," or "Who's going". "Time of" should be "Time off". "Hamilton's" should be "Hamilton" for example. There are many more examples throughout the article, and errors such as commas in sentences, where there should be full stops, for instance.
As others have said, there are factual inaccuracies. I understand that the dual axis steering altered the toe, whereas the essay says that it was the camber.
The essay says that Perez had many engine issues, and that he didn't complete many races. He had one engine issue, and one electrical issue. He completed all but two of the races last year. On top of that he didn't start either of the two Silverstone events, because he caught Corona. You cannot say that he had many engine issues, or that he did not complete many races.
The essay says that Vettel helped Ferrari finish twice as runners up in the constructors championship. That is wrong. It was four times. (15,17,18,19)
Carlos Sainz has been in F1 for five years, not six as claimed. He has not driven for Red Bull in spite of what is claimed (unless you count a young driver test at Silverstone in 2013 when he was racing in Formula Renault 3.5).
Sainz will be joining Leclerc, not the other way around. The essay also reads as if Leclerc is new to F1 for 2021, whereas he is already established at Ferrari. (Just ask Mr S Vettel for confirmation of that fact!)
It's "chequered flag", not "checked flag"!
Apart from the many grammatical errors in the paragraph, I am not sure that you can realistically say that Vettel "not have (sic) the year we all anticipated". I think Vettel had the year that most people (who follow F1 closely) expected. You also cannot say that it was time that Vettel moved on to "bigger and better teams". Moved on, yes, but Aston Martin is neither bigger, nor better (judged on GP race victories/WCC/WDC results) than Ferrari.
Antonio Giovinazzi, not "Antoni". Tsunoda, not "Tusonda" (the essay spells it both ways!)
Tsunoda started in the F4 Japanese championship in 2016, which is not 3 years ago, as claimed. It might be worth pointing out that he is a Red Bull and Honda backed driver, which is why he will be driving a Honda powered Alpha Tauri!
You cannot claim that Haas "had to say goodbye to to Romain Grosjean after his retirement and crash". You are implying that he chose to retire, and/or is unfit to race. Neither are true. Haas decided not to renew his contract. You can speculate that it was a performance and/or financial decision, but it was nothing to do with a retirement, or a medical issue. Grosjean will be racing in 2021 in INDYCAR for Dale Coyne Racing. No comment or opinion is provided as to why Schumacher and Mazepin have been hired. There is no mention of the controversy with Mazepin. There is no mention of the fact that Haas have not renewed the contract of either of their drivers.
Can you really call Williams "world-leading"? There is no mention of the new team owners either. You make the same point about hopefully scoring points, twice.
Latifi is also spelled "Litifi", in one sentence and then there is a final paragraph talking about him, as if he had not been talked about before, when you have mentioned him in some detail in the previous paragraph.
I am also not sure that the content fits the title. It is not just about drivers. It is also about teams and some technical matters. The essay is more of a preview of the 2021 season and a review of the 2020 season. There is also unequal treatment. There is a paragraph about Mercedes' dual axis steering being banned and the potential effect that may cause, but nothing is said about the other technical changes that have been introduced by the FIA for 2021, or the new budget cap.
As others have said, there are factual inaccuracies. I understand that the dual axis steering altered the toe, whereas the essay says that it was the camber.
The essay says that Perez had many engine issues, and that he didn't complete many races. He had one engine issue, and one electrical issue. He completed all but two of the races last year. On top of that he didn't start either of the two Silverstone events, because he caught Corona. You cannot say that he had many engine issues, or that he did not complete many races.
The essay says that Vettel helped Ferrari finish twice as runners up in the constructors championship. That is wrong. It was four times. (15,17,18,19)
Carlos Sainz has been in F1 for five years, not six as claimed. He has not driven for Red Bull in spite of what is claimed (unless you count a young driver test at Silverstone in 2013 when he was racing in Formula Renault 3.5).
Sainz will be joining Leclerc, not the other way around. The essay also reads as if Leclerc is new to F1 for 2021, whereas he is already established at Ferrari. (Just ask Mr S Vettel for confirmation of that fact!)
It's "chequered flag", not "checked flag"!
Apart from the many grammatical errors in the paragraph, I am not sure that you can realistically say that Vettel "not have (sic) the year we all anticipated". I think Vettel had the year that most people (who follow F1 closely) expected. You also cannot say that it was time that Vettel moved on to "bigger and better teams". Moved on, yes, but Aston Martin is neither bigger, nor better (judged on GP race victories/WCC/WDC results) than Ferrari.
Antonio Giovinazzi, not "Antoni". Tsunoda, not "Tusonda" (the essay spells it both ways!)
Tsunoda started in the F4 Japanese championship in 2016, which is not 3 years ago, as claimed. It might be worth pointing out that he is a Red Bull and Honda backed driver, which is why he will be driving a Honda powered Alpha Tauri!
You cannot claim that Haas "had to say goodbye to to Romain Grosjean after his retirement and crash". You are implying that he chose to retire, and/or is unfit to race. Neither are true. Haas decided not to renew his contract. You can speculate that it was a performance and/or financial decision, but it was nothing to do with a retirement, or a medical issue. Grosjean will be racing in 2021 in INDYCAR for Dale Coyne Racing. No comment or opinion is provided as to why Schumacher and Mazepin have been hired. There is no mention of the controversy with Mazepin. There is no mention of the fact that Haas have not renewed the contract of either of their drivers.
Can you really call Williams "world-leading"? There is no mention of the new team owners either. You make the same point about hopefully scoring points, twice.
Latifi is also spelled "Litifi", in one sentence and then there is a final paragraph talking about him, as if he had not been talked about before, when you have mentioned him in some detail in the previous paragraph.
I am also not sure that the content fits the title. It is not just about drivers. It is also about teams and some technical matters. The essay is more of a preview of the 2021 season and a review of the 2020 season. There is also unequal treatment. There is a paragraph about Mercedes' dual axis steering being banned and the potential effect that may cause, but nothing is said about the other technical changes that have been introduced by the FIA for 2021, or the new budget cap.
Edited by LucyP on Tuesday 23 February 13:11
Edited by LucyP on Tuesday 23 February 13:12
Edited by LucyP on Tuesday 23 February 13:17
Edited by LucyP on Tuesday 23 February 13:37
WorzeyD said:
...My daughter is new to F1 and Sports Journalism in general so she still has a lot to learn but she is more than happy to take on feedback like this.
In fairness I see the same sort of grammatical errors increasingly in mainstream reporting 
Also the factual inaccuracies.. I think the worst are those such as misunderstanding what DAS does. If the person writing the article clearly doesn't understand part of what they're explaining, that is a problem as the reader will lose confidence in the rest of what is written.
A bit like taking directions from a stranger, and they start by saying "take the right just down there, past the bus stop", as they point to a turning on the left... From that one error onwards you aren't going to put very much faith in to the rest of their directions
The writing style overall is good imo. Just needed a proof read and and to resist the temptation to give technical details without double checking her knowledge first.
I think Charles Leclerc refers to himself as Monégasque, not French.
All the drivers have plenty of experience in karting, Formula 3 as that is the traditional route to Formula One. Not all contest in e-sports though.
Some odd phrasing here and there, and needs a better understanding of the technical aspects as well.
Alpine isn't a new manfactuer. They were established in 1954, were merged into Renault in the mid 1970s and produced cars into the mid 1990s before the name was ressurected in 2017.
All the drivers have plenty of experience in karting, Formula 3 as that is the traditional route to Formula One. Not all contest in e-sports though.
Some odd phrasing here and there, and needs a better understanding of the technical aspects as well.
Alpine isn't a new manfactuer. They were established in 1954, were merged into Renault in the mid 1970s and produced cars into the mid 1990s before the name was ressurected in 2017.
Edited by andrewcliffe on Tuesday 23 February 15:32
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