What has your "friend" been up to?

What has your "friend" been up to?

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Swine Enthusiast

312 posts

104 months

Friday 29th December 2017
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Roadtrip across the states, my "Friend" decided to ignore the non-descript dash light on his VW Beetle rental in Oakland, CA. Claimed it would "probably go away after a few miles".

Four miles into the interstate journey out of the city, "Friend" keeps getting weird looks from other motorists and the car "feels odd". Decides something is up, does the "ol' shake the wheel test" (moron) to see if grip/steering are compromised. banghead

Backend out at 60mph on the motorway, pants brown moment, manages not to kill us and pulls over to the wrong (read: correct for the UK) side of the Interstate. Meaning we are now on a small quarter hard shoulder with half the car in the lane.

Get out and he can fit his hand between the tyre and the rim. Fuzz shows up and closes the entire highway in a minute or two (very impressive) and escorts us to the other side of the highway. Leaving my "Friend" to change the wheel with his ar$e grazing oncoming traffic.

ReverendCounter

6,087 posts

176 months

Friday 29th December 2017
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My friend once spent more on oil than petrol after buying a (very) used car in Kent and driving it back to the Peak District.

RammyMP

6,770 posts

153 months

Friday 29th December 2017
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Swine Enthusiast said:
Roadtrip across the states, my "Friend" decided to ignore the non-descript dash light on his VW Beetle rental in Oakland, CA. Claimed it would "probably go away after a few miles".

Four miles into the interstate journey out of the city, "Friend" keeps getting weird looks from other motorists and the car "feels odd". Decides something is up, does the "ol' shake the wheel test" (moron) to see if grip/steering are compromised. banghead

Backend out at 60mph on the motorway, pants brown moment, manages not to kill us and pulls over to the wrong (read: correct for the UK) side of the Interstate. Meaning we are now on a small quarter hard shoulder with half the car in the lane.

Get out and he can fit his hand between the tyre and the rim. Fuzz shows up and closes the entire highway in a minute or two (very impressive) and escorts us to the other side of the highway. Leaving my "Friend" to change the wheel with his ar$e grazing oncoming traffic.
A friend of mine had a wheel come off a hire car in the states a few years back, his wife and 3 month old son were in the car at the time. He told me the car was vibrating quite badly so speeded up to in excess of the motorway speed limit to see if it would get better. It didn’t!

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

54 months

Friday 29th December 2017
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The first time that my friend rented a car in the USA was also the first time that he had driven an automatic car (it was a 1989 Buick Electra Park Avenue sedan, aka ginormo sofa on wheels). He called the Auto Club after his first fuel stop because he could not start the car. He didn't know it had to be in neutral or park to start. He felt like a tit when he figured this obvious thing out.

citizensm1th

8,371 posts

137 months

Friday 29th December 2017
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Breadvan72 said:
The first time that my friend rented a car in the USA was also the first time that he had driven an automatic car (it was a 1989 Buick Electra Park Avenue sedan, aka ginormo sofa on wheels). He called the Auto Club after his first fuel stop because he could not start the car. He didn't know it had to be in neutral or park to start. He felt like a tit when he figured this obvious thing out.
Did your friend do the dipping the non-existent clutch pedal thing?, My friend did in a jeep cherokee on the M1 a proper brown trouser moment he says.

blearyeyedboy

6,291 posts

179 months

Saturday 30th December 2017
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My friend's wife made soup with the turkey leftovers. No one else wanted any so he had a double portion. My friend should have questioned why no one else wanted any.

My friend is now in bed in the spare room with a dodgy belly, feeling very sorry for himself.

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

54 months

Saturday 30th December 2017
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5 day old turkey is pushing it a bit.

blearyeyedboy

6,291 posts

179 months

Saturday 30th December 2017
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My friend and his family spent Christmas elsewhere, and when he got home his wife missed the idea of turkey leftovers... so bought a turkey leg and cooked it. It's 2 days old but perhaps reheated one too many times.

The turkey might be innocent but since my friend is the only one who's ill and it's the only thing he's eaten which no one has, he's blaming it. EDIT- Other vegetarian family members have started to get ill, so it looks like the Turkey's innocent after all.

He's now on his phone looking at a used Toyota Auris. He must be ill.

Edited by blearyeyedboy on Monday 1st January 12:11

S2r

667 posts

78 months

Saturday 30th December 2017
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My friend recently poured half a litre of gearbox oil into his 1980s vw caddy pickup as it was a bit low... using the hole above the clutch.

This resulted in half a litre of gear box oil over the clutch then on to the floor.

After cleaning it all up off the floor and using 2 tins of 'brake and clutch cleaner' down the same hole it seems like he still has a working clutch although it does smell a bit weird.

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

54 months

Sunday 31st December 2017
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Swampy1982 said:
If you are ever otherwise engaged and your friend needs a wingman then I'm happy to oblige... these "do's" sound great fun...
They are, but he says he is going to be a dirty stop in for a while, because skint.

gforceg

3,524 posts

179 months

Sunday 31st December 2017
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S2r said:
My friend recently poured half a litre of gearbox oil into his 1980s vw caddy pickup as it was a bit low... using the hole above the clutch.

This resulted in half a litre of gear box oil over the clutch then on to the floor.

After cleaning it all up off the floor and using 2 tins of 'brake and clutch cleaner' down the same hole it seems like he still has a working clutch although it does smell a bit weird.
That takes my friend back, he did exactly the same thing to his Golf in about 1989, probably less than a litre and his dad helped fix it by burning the oil off the clutch in a deserted lay-by. Smokey.


Edited by gforceg on Sunday 31st December 10:30

Ragsto

21 posts

78 months

Sunday 31st December 2017
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My friend in his youth bought a VW 1302ls and decided to service it himself. He dropped something into the carburettor while changing the air filter, and made the schoolboy error of hoping it would be ok.

One engine rebuild later he took a job in the Middle East so he could repay his kind Dad, and that led my friend down a completely different path than he had planned.


Church of Noise

1,458 posts

237 months

Wednesday 3rd January 2018
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My friend ensured his lady that there was plenty of fuel left in the tank of a V8-engined car which consumes the stuff at an alarming rate.
She was not so pleased when the car stuttered and came to a halt within half a mile of my friend saying that.
My friend thinks he's going to have to come up with a good plan to convince his lady to participate in further drives with said beasty...

Edited by Church of Noise on Wednesday 3rd January 18:41

FlabbyMidgets

477 posts

87 months

Sunday 11th February 2018
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My friend is having some car problems. He wants to sell his daily, not the right car for him. Especially as having had a very good test drive in a weekend car. This weekend car does seem quite unreliable, and in most people's opinion would be a downgrade. The weekend car has ownership issues, unfortunately has a registered keeper but is currently Sorn (on a "break") . He doesn't seem to know what to do, keep the daily, sell the daily and try and purchase weekend car outright, or sell daily and take the bus for a while.

Edited by FlabbyMidgets on Sunday 11th February 16:00

gowmonster

2,471 posts

167 months

Sunday 11th February 2018
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my friend wants to buy a motorbike and sell one of his 3 cars, maybe your friend needs a motorbike, it's better than a bus.

FlabbyMidgets

477 posts

87 months

Sunday 11th February 2018
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gowmonster said:
my friend wants to buy a motorbike and sell one of his 3 cars, maybe your friend needs a motorbike, it's better than a bus.
Friend already has a motorbike, it's old but works. I think the rest of his problems are somewhat metaphorical

citizensm1th

8,371 posts

137 months

Sunday 11th February 2018
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FlabbyMidgets said:
gowmonster said:
my friend wants to buy a motorbike and sell one of his 3 cars, maybe your friend needs a motorbike, it's better than a bus.
Friend already has a motorbike, it's old but works. I think the rest of his problems are somewhat metaphorical
My Friend would probably counsel your Friend to heed the words of Gordon Gekko.

FlabbyMidgets

477 posts

87 months

Sunday 11th February 2018
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Care to elaborate? Only words I know are greed is good

Jimmy Recard

17,540 posts

179 months

Sunday 11th February 2018
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Lunch is for wimps

Blue horseshoe loves Anacott Steel

citizensm1th

8,371 posts

137 months

Sunday 11th February 2018
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FlabbyMidgets said:
Care to elaborate? Only words I know are greed is good
Exactly my Friend might consider keeping both the daily and the weekender.