What has your "friend" been up to?
Discussion
Many moons ago,a friend and his friend arrived home from school to find his house deserted.Upon entering my friend decided it would be a jolly good idea to release his Stepmothers 2 canaries from the confines of their cage and let them have a fly around the lounge.
When the birds were released my friend kept his eye on one and his friend kept his eye on the other.After a couple of laps of the room my friend watched his canary land on the back of a chair.He set off across the room to return the bird to it's cage but on the last step before reaching the chair felt something soft underfoot,alas when he looked down he saw the other canary that his friend had been watching,carefully he lifted his foot but unfortunately it was to late to save the poor bird.He crouched down and carefully gathered the poor unfortunate and weighed up his options.
It didn't take him long to decide that the only decent option was to carefully place the bird back into it's cage and arrange it below a perch on it's back with legs pointing up in the air.He and his friend then exited the house and he returned alone 2 hours later because he was hungry.When he entered the house he came across his Dad consoling his weeping Stepmother,putting on his best concerned face my friend asked what was wrong,his Dad said that when his Stepmother had returned from work she could only see one bird in the cage and upon closer inspection found his cage mate dead below the perch with his legs pointing to heaven.My friend offered his sincerest condolences and retired to his chamber until it was time to eat.
This all happened 30 odd years ago and my friends Stepmother still thinks the bird died of natural causes.My friend still feels a bit guilty.
When the birds were released my friend kept his eye on one and his friend kept his eye on the other.After a couple of laps of the room my friend watched his canary land on the back of a chair.He set off across the room to return the bird to it's cage but on the last step before reaching the chair felt something soft underfoot,alas when he looked down he saw the other canary that his friend had been watching,carefully he lifted his foot but unfortunately it was to late to save the poor bird.He crouched down and carefully gathered the poor unfortunate and weighed up his options.
It didn't take him long to decide that the only decent option was to carefully place the bird back into it's cage and arrange it below a perch on it's back with legs pointing up in the air.He and his friend then exited the house and he returned alone 2 hours later because he was hungry.When he entered the house he came across his Dad consoling his weeping Stepmother,putting on his best concerned face my friend asked what was wrong,his Dad said that when his Stepmother had returned from work she could only see one bird in the cage and upon closer inspection found his cage mate dead below the perch with his legs pointing to heaven.My friend offered his sincerest condolences and retired to his chamber until it was time to eat.
This all happened 30 odd years ago and my friends Stepmother still thinks the bird died of natural causes.My friend still feels a bit guilty.
Breadvan72 said:
Poll:
1. The stickers MUST DIE.
2. The stickers MUST LIVE.
3. NEEDS MOAR STICKAZ
4. Take off and nuke from orbit.
5. You want fries with that?
6. All of the above.
3. if your going to have a midlife crisis at least go all in and not half arsed1. The stickers MUST DIE.
2. The stickers MUST LIVE.
3. NEEDS MOAR STICKAZ
4. Take off and nuke from orbit.
5. You want fries with that?
6. All of the above.
do it shoot flames out the exhaust mr?
My friend is generally thought to be on his second, or possibly his third mid life crisis. He is very conventional, and his mid life crises are predictable - they involve sports cars, blondes, and so on. His current venture into a strange new world of work in a very strange place may indeed be a form of mid life crisis. He is, however, breaking with tradition, as the lady friend who is arriving via BA Club World and local island hopper on Thursday to stay for a week or so has black hair. She is inappropriately young for my friend, but she is at least an actual lady, with an accent posher than the Queen's. My friend is by no means a gentleman, but he can do a passable imitation of one, mainly because he knows about cufflinks.
Well, my friend had a drink in a locals' bar with the copper, who was, my friend said, a cool dude. My friend has just spent twenty five minutes ranting at his bank in the UK about how that not unreasonable US dollar sum that he wished to have sent to a Canadian bank on a Caribbean island was not at all dodgy but was to buy a Kawasaki from an officer of the law. Now my friend has gone off to tidy his pad, pending the arrival of his lady friend who has just been kicked out of a BA 777 recently landed at Antigua, and is probably now getting loaded on Rum Punch in the airport bar or shopping in the small airport bling shop whilst waiting for a Beechcraft island hopper to bring her to where my friend is.
My friend tells me that his lady friend just rang him from the rum punch bar at Antigua Airport. Apparently, BA will now need to restock with champagne down route, as otherwise no one will be able to have any on the way back to London. This may be a sign that she did not in fact go to Wycombe Abbey, but is more likely to be a sign that she did.
My friend was in a great panic as they went through a new gantry camera on a motorway, temptarily limited at 50mph after midnight for soon-to-be-started roadworks, at maximum speed in a Suzuki Alto.
On checking his dashcam, he found out that max speed up the hill in said 3cyl supermotor is around 84mph. And further twitter analysis found that that the camera was still under testing.
Friend will be more careful on managed motorway sections in future.
On checking his dashcam, he found out that max speed up the hill in said 3cyl supermotor is around 84mph. And further twitter analysis found that that the camera was still under testing.
Friend will be more careful on managed motorway sections in future.
My friend recently ruined his family's cheeky pre-Christmas ski holiday by putting the wrong fuel in his motorhome and running it down the autoroute until it stopped. Thankfully his insurance stumped up for the new fuel pump, cam chains and oil pump and it was all sorted in the for the Easter ski trip.
He has also taken his rather less than perfectly reliable car to an online car buying company and wittered at the nice man so he didn't notice the assorted problems with it. He'd already told the man (Who was apparently very nice...) how his wife hated it because it was fast and loud so the man barely flinched when he started the wretched thing up.
He has also taken his rather less than perfectly reliable car to an online car buying company and wittered at the nice man so he didn't notice the assorted problems with it. He'd already told the man (Who was apparently very nice...) how his wife hated it because it was fast and loud so the man barely flinched when he started the wretched thing up.
My friend has just found out he is not the only PH'er in the village. My friends new Neighbour has the infamous PH crossed pistons on the rear of his quite nice fiat 500 abarth. My friend has decided he is going to keep quiet about the fact that PH (or maybe his village) is not quite as exclusive as he once thought.
My friend recently did an oil change on the auto box of his car. Drove it for a week, then later went back to check the dipstick to see if the level was ok. Couldn't find the fill for the gearbox, only the engine one... Then released replaced the engine oil for ATF and driving it for the last week. Whoops. Car still runs fine several months later
Riknos said:
My friend recently did an oil change on the auto box of his car. Drove it for a week, then later went back to check the dipstick to see if the level was ok. Couldn't find the fill for the gearbox, only the engine one... Then released replaced the engine oil for ATF and driving it for the last week. Whoops. Car still runs fine several months later
Not sure I understand.In fact, better than that I definitely do not understand.
Are you saying:-
1. Your friend drained the gearbox fluid? - or
2. Your friend drained the engine oil?
3. Your friend filled the gearbox with engine oil? - or
4. Your friend filled the engine with gearbox fluid? - or
5. Something else that I have not covered?
My idiot friend is far too busy balancing work and life, and some more work. He didn't look at his car's brakes for far too long.
There is an enormous groove in his rear brake disc caused by him not realising the pads needed changing.
Pads, discs and if he's been a real spanner the calipers too.
Cue an entirely avoidable and self-inflicted three-figure bill.
My friend will leave his PH card by the door on his way out...
There is an enormous groove in his rear brake disc caused by him not realising the pads needed changing.
Pads, discs and if he's been a real spanner the calipers too.
Cue an entirely avoidable and self-inflicted three-figure bill.
My friend will leave his PH card by the door on his way out...
My friend convinced himself that he had a pebble caught in one of his front brakes and that was why it was making a graunchy noise. When he took the wheel off to get rid of the pebble, he was embarrassed to find that he had been driving a fast and heavy car with utterly shagged front brakes for, I dunno, a bit. He had already had his PH card confiscated from him long, long ago.
Edited by anonymous-user on Saturday 9th June 16:32
My "friend" couldn't wait until his cbt before taking his new bike out. Cue having to pull the thing out of a nettle filled ditch on a thankfully very quiet single track road.
Fast forward a few months and said bike, kh125k was feeling too slow, baffles removed, airbox removed and head to tank run overtaking a couple of buses then comes to a tightening left hand bend and finds yet another ditch. My "friend" says his next memory was lying half on the verge, half on road with a volvo heading his way. Two CID officers kindly gave him a lift to hospital.
Said bike put back together by friend only for the oil tank to be left empty. Engine melted on maiden voyage. "Friend" gave up on that bike after that.
Fast forward a few months and said bike, kh125k was feeling too slow, baffles removed, airbox removed and head to tank run overtaking a couple of buses then comes to a tightening left hand bend and finds yet another ditch. My "friend" says his next memory was lying half on the verge, half on road with a volvo heading his way. Two CID officers kindly gave him a lift to hospital.
Said bike put back together by friend only for the oil tank to be left empty. Engine melted on maiden voyage. "Friend" gave up on that bike after that.
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