What has your "friend" been up to?
Discussion
billzeebub said:
- bought an old Mini and left it in hotel carpark, unregistered with keys hidden in wheel arch for those urgent times
- let it be known to anyone he had ever had a pint with that said car was there at their disposal and, as a consequence, it wasn't there the actual night said friend wanted it for urgent purposes! He told me that it wasn't ideal. I am led to believe that a chat with a Rozzer closely followed said disappointment.
am I being Fick but why would your friend have the aformentioned mini in a hotel car park?- let it be known to anyone he had ever had a pint with that said car was there at their disposal and, as a consequence, it wasn't there the actual night said friend wanted it for urgent purposes! He told me that it wasn't ideal. I am led to believe that a chat with a Rozzer closely followed said disappointment.
to sleep in?
to drive home in? (drunk?)
to escape the police after committing a crime?
Help us out here.
punchdrunk said:
my mate "borrowed" a builders plank from a construction site. He placed it running from the back seat of his car and out through the passenger window. Several feet of the plank were sticking out and so that no-one saw what he was doing he decided to take a short cut home through the country lanes.
Some stupid tree then jumped out and caught the protruding plank which not only modified the passenger door but also sent the plank through the rear seat and out through the offside wheel arch. Was this the most expensive plank of wood ever?
Edited......Some stupid tree then jumped out and caught the protruding plank which not only modified the passenger door but also sent the plank through the rear seat and out through the offside wheel arch. Was this the most expensive plank of wood ever?
Edited by Jazoli on Wednesday 29th August 10:18
Ah the old "Friend"
My "Friend" was a bit of an idiot when he was younger.
At 18 he decided that a brand new company car (2.2 Vetch Accord) was the car that would finally make "that corner" at 60mph +, turns out the laws of physics had other ideas and said "friend" need his older brother to quickly come and help him pull it out of the hedge. Luckily a good clean n polish and all was good, the new owner never new.
Said "friend" a year latter was on a work trip in Ireland in a company T5, running late for the return ferry, he saw the chance to overtake a large number of cars, whilst performing this questionable overtake, waiting to pull out from a side road was a local Garda (or however its spelt). Said "friend" continued at a high rate of knots and pulled in to the 1st farm yard he saw, and bold as brass knocked on the door to ask for un-needed directions to where he was going, while the Garda drove past. "Friend" then continued on with his journey at a more sensible speed, only to pass the Garda at the side of the road, who had pulled over a similar coloured Skoda Estate with English plates on it. Said "friend" was not proud of his actions on this one.
"Friend" also once stood up a girl due to a mate not paying attention and give the note to the wrong "Rebecca"
Thinking about it my "friend" was a bit of a cock in his youth.
My "Friend" was a bit of an idiot when he was younger.
At 18 he decided that a brand new company car (2.2 Vetch Accord) was the car that would finally make "that corner" at 60mph +, turns out the laws of physics had other ideas and said "friend" need his older brother to quickly come and help him pull it out of the hedge. Luckily a good clean n polish and all was good, the new owner never new.
Said "friend" a year latter was on a work trip in Ireland in a company T5, running late for the return ferry, he saw the chance to overtake a large number of cars, whilst performing this questionable overtake, waiting to pull out from a side road was a local Garda (or however its spelt). Said "friend" continued at a high rate of knots and pulled in to the 1st farm yard he saw, and bold as brass knocked on the door to ask for un-needed directions to where he was going, while the Garda drove past. "Friend" then continued on with his journey at a more sensible speed, only to pass the Garda at the side of the road, who had pulled over a similar coloured Skoda Estate with English plates on it. Said "friend" was not proud of his actions on this one.
"Friend" also once stood up a girl due to a mate not paying attention and give the note to the wrong "Rebecca"
Thinking about it my "friend" was a bit of a cock in his youth.
My friend coaxed his first car up to terminal velocity in the small hours on the motorway. On a provisional licence with L-plates.
Though he maintains it was a safe environment despite the other people in the car who either didn't notice or were quietly s
tting themselves.
Another *cough* friend sold a reasonable shed with a broken exhaust for £60 and 2 bottles of Whiskey.
Friend number er.. three claims he has never been beaten off the lights when driving anything other than a Renault 25.
One of these friends has also done impure things with a woman while she was driving, even though he didn't trust her skills behind the wheel when without distractions.
Thankfully i've grown out of all these friends.
Though he maintains it was a safe environment despite the other people in the car who either didn't notice or were quietly s
tting themselves.Another *cough* friend sold a reasonable shed with a broken exhaust for £60 and 2 bottles of Whiskey.
Friend number er.. three claims he has never been beaten off the lights when driving anything other than a Renault 25.
One of these friends has also done impure things with a woman while she was driving, even though he didn't trust her skills behind the wheel when without distractions.
Thankfully i've grown out of all these friends.
Very recently while cycling to work a friend noticed his front wheel was out of alignment with the handlebars. In order to rectify this while saving time, he decided no to stop, but instead to kick the wheel back into place. As anyone with an ounce of intelligence would be able to tell, this would never end well. His foot got stuck in the spokes and he was flipped over the handlebars onto the astoundingly hard pavement (fortunately his hip prevented the rest of his body getting hurt).
I have it on good authority that his hip still hurts over two weeks later.
I have it on good authority that his hip still hurts over two weeks later.
MY Friend,
6 weeks after passing his test, went for a drive a little to fast for 6 weeks worth of talent, coming up to a very familiar right had bend didn't see said bend as was blinded by the car right in front pulling out of a driveway, head to the left of said car and had a wee little dent in the front of his car created by a tree stump that tore out of the ground pushing the drivers side front wheel so far back it pushed the pedal box up on the old Mk2 escort he was driving.
He also
Drive a 309gti down a large hole in the road, claimed of the council for repairs , repaired the car and sold it for more than brought for 6 months previous
In a hurry to get home in 205CTI as just sold and guy was coming early to pick it up, drove head on into another car.
Managed to get a puncture at 150 ish leptons on a zx9r and not crash
wrote of the same zx9r after 6500 miles and 4 months of ownership
drove without MOT for 9 months as forgot about it.
drive a triumph spitfire into a lamppost and pass-out after getting cosy with the steering wheel, then dragged out of the car as within a few seconds of the lamppost lamp falling on the drivers seat.
6 weeks after passing his test, went for a drive a little to fast for 6 weeks worth of talent, coming up to a very familiar right had bend didn't see said bend as was blinded by the car right in front pulling out of a driveway, head to the left of said car and had a wee little dent in the front of his car created by a tree stump that tore out of the ground pushing the drivers side front wheel so far back it pushed the pedal box up on the old Mk2 escort he was driving.
He also
Drive a 309gti down a large hole in the road, claimed of the council for repairs , repaired the car and sold it for more than brought for 6 months previous
In a hurry to get home in 205CTI as just sold and guy was coming early to pick it up, drove head on into another car.
Managed to get a puncture at 150 ish leptons on a zx9r and not crash
wrote of the same zx9r after 6500 miles and 4 months of ownership
drove without MOT for 9 months as forgot about it.
drive a triumph spitfire into a lamppost and pass-out after getting cosy with the steering wheel, then dragged out of the car as within a few seconds of the lamppost lamp falling on the drivers seat.
I think we all know the same chap.
My "friend" crashed his Nova SR twice. Once when sneezing turning into a street, the car ploughed through the street name sign and knocked it over. The second time racng a 205 GTI 1.9 down a country road. The crash ended quite badly for my "friend".
My "friend" also crashed a Fiesta Super sport into a lamp post and knocked that over on to this his car causing £460 worth of damage to lamp post and writting his car off. He managed this in one of those "watch this" moments while attepmting a J turn.
The same "friend" was coming back from work in his fancy new posser mobile and screamed past a silver volvo T5 early in the morning on a NSL road. The volvo had to do a huge amount of speed to catch up to my "friend" in his fancy new posser mobile accordinng to the police officer that eventaull caught up with him and pulled him over. My "friend" was vry lucky not to lose his license in that incident.
My "friend" crashed his Nova SR twice. Once when sneezing turning into a street, the car ploughed through the street name sign and knocked it over. The second time racng a 205 GTI 1.9 down a country road. The crash ended quite badly for my "friend".
My "friend" also crashed a Fiesta Super sport into a lamp post and knocked that over on to this his car causing £460 worth of damage to lamp post and writting his car off. He managed this in one of those "watch this" moments while attepmting a J turn.
The same "friend" was coming back from work in his fancy new posser mobile and screamed past a silver volvo T5 early in the morning on a NSL road. The volvo had to do a huge amount of speed to catch up to my "friend" in his fancy new posser mobile accordinng to the police officer that eventaull caught up with him and pulled him over. My "friend" was vry lucky not to lose his license in that incident.
He really does get around, this "friend". I am amazed that my "friend" has not been locked up, banned, or in a ditch by now. He is also a right gobby git, and is lucky to have avoided a slapping on numerous occasions. Worst of all, he comes on here and posts some right old cobblers.
Edited by anonymous-user on Wednesday 29th August 11:28
When 17, my friend decided to try to get the tail of his parents Volvo 240 out on a deserted roundabout. A combination of camber, slow steering and complete absence of skill resulted in the car facing the wrong way with a rear wheel folded underneath it. Somehow he made it home and told his parents he'd swerved to avoid a fox.
The following year he and another friend missed a bus into town and decided to take friend #2's Cortina instead. Said car was a restoration project and so had no tax, mot or insurance. All went well until friend #1 decided to show off his skills and pull onto a dual carriageway at about 80- right in front of a police car. Why they didn't pull him over I'll never know.
Luckily said friend grew up quickly.
The following year he and another friend missed a bus into town and decided to take friend #2's Cortina instead. Said car was a restoration project and so had no tax, mot or insurance. All went well until friend #1 decided to show off his skills and pull onto a dual carriageway at about 80- right in front of a police car. Why they didn't pull him over I'll never know.
Luckily said friend grew up quickly.
My "friend" proved that his mum's Metro could do 100 mph (downhill). His mum was not much better, as she took my "friend" for a blast when they both had provisional licences (the L plates were in the boot).
My "friend" also discovered that his dad's Montego 1.6 was a most excellent training platform for the practice of hand brake turns in the rugby club car park.
My "friend" also discovered that his dad's Montego 1.6 was a most excellent training platform for the practice of hand brake turns in the rugby club car park.
My "Friend" in the forces in the early 90's was not the most sensible lad
Whilst on his tracked vehicle test in a 432 Troop Carrier (after being repeatedly told during lessons not to hold the steering tiller constantly on during long corners as it causes an oil shortage and overheats causing a track to lock out)put said 432 through a hedge in Wiltshire. Said friend had to run quick and far from the instructor and create his own safety zone as he was not the understanding type.
Friend also put a 1 tonne Landrover on it's side during a "watch this" moment on a cross counrty course designed for tanks.
There are many many more but friend is still serving and might get recognised by any serving PHers.
Whilst on his tracked vehicle test in a 432 Troop Carrier (after being repeatedly told during lessons not to hold the steering tiller constantly on during long corners as it causes an oil shortage and overheats causing a track to lock out)put said 432 through a hedge in Wiltshire. Said friend had to run quick and far from the instructor and create his own safety zone as he was not the understanding type.
Friend also put a 1 tonne Landrover on it's side during a "watch this" moment on a cross counrty course designed for tanks.
There are many many more but friend is still serving and might get recognised by any serving PHers.
Edited by Session8 on Wednesday 29th August 11:58
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