What has your "friend" been up to?
Discussion
About 8 years ago I had a friend who, the previous week, had a Seat Leon - his VW Bora was big, soft and springy. My friend spotted a car in the distance and gave chase - my friend approached a corner that the Leon went round, but the Bora didn't, resulting in landing in a field, backwards, having missed a ditch, hedge, kerb and fencepost. Destroyed a shock absorber which was replaced under warranty as it was a mystery as to how it happened.
Same friend in his Leon drove over a mini roundabout at about 60, narrowly avoiding a Passat while chatting on his mobile phone. The person my friend was taking to on the phone exclaimed that "some moron in a Leon has just driven over a mini roundabout at speed without stopping".
Both the above events are still replayed to my friend.
At age 21, same friend went to overtake a Citroen ZX approaching a blind corner in his recently repaired Corolla (following a meeting with an Armco at speed) which stopped. The Corolla didn't.
My friend has grown up. A lot.
Same friend in his Leon drove over a mini roundabout at about 60, narrowly avoiding a Passat while chatting on his mobile phone. The person my friend was taking to on the phone exclaimed that "some moron in a Leon has just driven over a mini roundabout at speed without stopping".
Both the above events are still replayed to my friend.
At age 21, same friend went to overtake a Citroen ZX approaching a blind corner in his recently repaired Corolla (following a meeting with an Armco at speed) which stopped. The Corolla didn't.
My friend has grown up. A lot.
These are of course a "friend". Allegedly. And may or may not have happened. Honest
my "friend" used to drive his dads car to school aged 15 and on one occaision left two glorious burnout 11 marks at the top of his road which stretched for a good 50 yards.
my "friend" then parked the car back on the driveway with bits of burnout rubber falling out of the wheel arches.
the same "friend" removed his dads "Personal Banker" card from his dads wallet , crossed out the "B" and wrote a "W" over the top of it in permanent marker then denied all knowledge of it during questioning later.
my "friend" then parked the car back on the driveway with bits of burnout rubber falling out of the wheel arches.
the same "friend" removed his dads "Personal Banker" card from his dads wallet , crossed out the "B" and wrote a "W" over the top of it in permanent marker then denied all knowledge of it during questioning later.
Another one, many moons back, My friend was in the traffic light grand prix. Sat there in his E36 323i auto, revving it in neutral, the lights changed and he banged it into drive. Unfortunately it was a little wet out and the lights were just before a right hand corner. As my friend floored it, the back end stepped out and he spun it. It didn't help much that it was a one way system and he was left facing on coming traffic.
I mentioned it was my friend, right?
I mentioned it was my friend, right?
When younger my 'friend' was arrested for indecent exposure, it was all a big mistake, or so he still claims, this happened quite a long way from home and to get out of the cells got his brother to bail him out.
The local police went to my 'friend's' brother's house late at night and knocked on his door, being in bed he looked out of the upstairs bedroom window and asked what was wrong.
Policeman suggested that he come downstairs to the door as it was to do with his brother.
Friend's brother said "Just tell me what has he done"
Policeman shouted up "We think he is a flasher"
Friend's brother still brings this up when he thinks maximum embarrassment can be caused.
There is a related story regarding this 'friend' being chased by a camel after the court appearance for the exposure incident.
The local police went to my 'friend's' brother's house late at night and knocked on his door, being in bed he looked out of the upstairs bedroom window and asked what was wrong.
Policeman suggested that he come downstairs to the door as it was to do with his brother.
Friend's brother said "Just tell me what has he done"
Policeman shouted up "We think he is a flasher"
Friend's brother still brings this up when he thinks maximum embarrassment can be caused.
There is a related story regarding this 'friend' being chased by a camel after the court appearance for the exposure incident.
My ‘friend’ has the dubious honour of having had 3 ‘incidents’ involving cars they have hit. Two of them before they even had a driving licence.
The first was an old ex Police MkII Granada which he understeered an off road kart into having thought he wouldn’t bother asking the owner to move it as there was plenty of room.
The second was a freshly restored MG A. My ‘friend’ was busy mowing the lawns on an old ride on mower and decided that he should really put the stone he had just clipped on the rockery whilst mowing in 5th back in place. Having stamped on the single clutch/brake peddle he leapt off the ride on, forgetting that a) it was of a vintage before they had thought to equip such machinery with a ‘deadman’s ‘ switch on the seat, b) it was still in top gear. The feeling of horror they had as they realised what they had done was only compounded by the realisation that the massive dent in the front wing was not something that the proud owner would be likely to be understanding over, and that whilst they were sure dad would be able to sort out the repairs he was very likely to want the costs incurred refunded – at the time about 100 ‘free’ lawn mowing sessions...
The final, and my ‘friend’ earnestly hopes only ever, incident they have caused in a car was their crowning glory. Early evening, driving over to best mate’s house to collect them prior to a double date with a pair of ladies known for their easy virtue he was in a great mood. The bends on the lane were flowing nicely as he effortlessly picked off each apex (using only his side of the road) and Queen were blasting away through his Chavtastic ICE install. Rounding a series of bends he spots a dark coloured year old MkIV Escort ahead. ¼ second later he realises that not only is he going a lot faster than it is, and therefore he is sure to catch it swiftly, but that it isn’t actually moving at all. Worse still it is parked in the middle of the road, straddling the white line, in twilight, with no lights on, drivers side door open and driver standing in the way of the only escape route that my ‘friend’ could have taken to avoid the impending metal bending. Somehow my ‘friend’ manages to get the speed of their car down, without the aid of ABS and on a bend, to a level where when the inevitable crunch occurs he is doing no more than about 10mph. Escort is a write off (putting ‘friend’ off them for life) and ‘friend’s’ Golf needs a new wing, bumper and replacement of the bonnet which is now pointing at a very jaunty angle. The Escort driver (a little old lady) is coming out with some very un LOLish language and my friend is learning new names they didn’t know existed before. It then dawns that the reason LOL has stopped where they have (ignoring the perfectly good pull in at the entrance to a farmers field within 5 metres of their car) is because they wanted to watch the hot air balloon landing in the neighbouring field. My ‘friend’ is now constantly reminded by other friends of the time they crashed into a hot air balloon...
The first was an old ex Police MkII Granada which he understeered an off road kart into having thought he wouldn’t bother asking the owner to move it as there was plenty of room.
The second was a freshly restored MG A. My ‘friend’ was busy mowing the lawns on an old ride on mower and decided that he should really put the stone he had just clipped on the rockery whilst mowing in 5th back in place. Having stamped on the single clutch/brake peddle he leapt off the ride on, forgetting that a) it was of a vintage before they had thought to equip such machinery with a ‘deadman’s ‘ switch on the seat, b) it was still in top gear. The feeling of horror they had as they realised what they had done was only compounded by the realisation that the massive dent in the front wing was not something that the proud owner would be likely to be understanding over, and that whilst they were sure dad would be able to sort out the repairs he was very likely to want the costs incurred refunded – at the time about 100 ‘free’ lawn mowing sessions...
The final, and my ‘friend’ earnestly hopes only ever, incident they have caused in a car was their crowning glory. Early evening, driving over to best mate’s house to collect them prior to a double date with a pair of ladies known for their easy virtue he was in a great mood. The bends on the lane were flowing nicely as he effortlessly picked off each apex (using only his side of the road) and Queen were blasting away through his Chavtastic ICE install. Rounding a series of bends he spots a dark coloured year old MkIV Escort ahead. ¼ second later he realises that not only is he going a lot faster than it is, and therefore he is sure to catch it swiftly, but that it isn’t actually moving at all. Worse still it is parked in the middle of the road, straddling the white line, in twilight, with no lights on, drivers side door open and driver standing in the way of the only escape route that my ‘friend’ could have taken to avoid the impending metal bending. Somehow my ‘friend’ manages to get the speed of their car down, without the aid of ABS and on a bend, to a level where when the inevitable crunch occurs he is doing no more than about 10mph. Escort is a write off (putting ‘friend’ off them for life) and ‘friend’s’ Golf needs a new wing, bumper and replacement of the bonnet which is now pointing at a very jaunty angle. The Escort driver (a little old lady) is coming out with some very un LOLish language and my friend is learning new names they didn’t know existed before. It then dawns that the reason LOL has stopped where they have (ignoring the perfectly good pull in at the entrance to a farmers field within 5 metres of their car) is because they wanted to watch the hot air balloon landing in the neighbouring field. My ‘friend’ is now constantly reminded by other friends of the time they crashed into a hot air balloon...
Breadvan73 said:
Most Pistonheaders have a “friend” who gets into an endless series of scrapes, brouhahas, and tight spots. Perhaps we all know the same bloke? Anyway, this does not say much for our judgment in choosing our “friends”.
My “friend” has:
- Crashed a Triumph Vitesse into a ditch.
- Allowed another friend to drive an unroadworthy Land Rover in a cloud of smoke two miles on the public highway whilst following at a safe distance.
- Been busted for speeding (and paid up) four times.
- Been arrested for being cheeky to a policeman.
- Been shaken down for a bribe by French border cops.
- Driven without an MOT for two weeks owing to having **** for brains.
- Reversed a brand new BMW into a bollard.
- Shouted rude words at a little old lady in a Honda
etc, etc, etc.
What has your “friend” been up to?
Ok, which one of my mates are you, and why have you changed the cars and the incidents??? My “friend” has:
- Crashed a Triumph Vitesse into a ditch.
- Allowed another friend to drive an unroadworthy Land Rover in a cloud of smoke two miles on the public highway whilst following at a safe distance.
- Been busted for speeding (and paid up) four times.
- Been arrested for being cheeky to a policeman.
- Been shaken down for a bribe by French border cops.
- Driven without an MOT for two weeks owing to having **** for brains.
- Reversed a brand new BMW into a bollard.
- Shouted rude words at a little old lady in a Honda
etc, etc, etc.
What has your “friend” been up to?
Yeah, I'm that mate....
Breadvan72 said:
Ouch. My "friend" started to jack an Alfa 156 on the plastic side skirt. He stopped, quickly.
My "friend" may have jacked my wifes zafira up to check out a funny noise from the suspension not, on the engine crossmember as he thought but on a thinish plastic panel under the radiator. the trolley jack made its way past the panel and the whole cars weight was resting on the rad before he realised what was happening. Luckily when the rad crushed up it fairly effectively sealed up the damage so his wife still doesnt know about it. The bloody jack was a b
d to get out from there as well.my friend once secretly took his Mum's Citroen AX GTi out before passing his test, ragged it around and got it back on the parents' drive safely... but then jumped the clutch in gear like a tool and smashed into a large chimney pot being used to hold flowers, which then shattered into pieces with masonry dropping all over the bonnet. Weirdly, the car was not scratched whatsoever and so my friend washed the car, and then said the hose got looped around the chimney pot when doing said "good deed" and it fell over and broke, and he was really sorry and was just trying to do something nice
I thought that my "friend" had given up his ASBO ways, but, no. Just last weekend, in three separate incidents, my "friend" left the handbrake off when he parked his car on a slope at a garage; ran a red light through being distracted; and gave some bloke in a Merc the coffee beans (having vowed to stop doing that). Sometimes I despair of my "friend".
Jasandjules said:
My friend has got up at 5am, got himself showered and shaved and made his way to the station. He then waited around for about 15 mins on a fairly empty platform before the dozy b***rd realised it was a Saturday...
I'm sure we've all got somewhere along that path and stopped at least once, but to end up standing on the empty platform wondering why it was so quiet is a good effort The Wookie said:
Jasandjules said:
My friend has got up at 5am, got himself showered and shaved and made his way to the station. He then waited around for about 15 mins on a fairly empty platform before the dozy b***rd realised it was a Saturday...
I'm sure we've all got somewhere along that path and stopped at least once, but to end up standing on the empty platform wondering why it was so quiet is a good effort 
My "friend" saw a speed camera on the other side of a dual carriageway and assumed it was facing oncoming traffic.
Same "friend" got a speeding ticket a couple of weeks later... Luckily for "him" he got the option to do the Driver Awareness Course (and it was actually quite good - You can do it for £30 without getting nicked, btw).
M.
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