What has your "friend" been up to?
Discussion
rossub said:
Breadvan72 said:
The only way to sanitise the sort of cars that my friend buys is to light them on fire. Mostly they do this by themselves.
Fortunately the purchased car had not been used for quite some time, so my friend reckoned the car had self sanitised.Buster73 said:
My friend drove to Manchester City to watch his team play there , out the car I dropped and lost my glasses and couldn’t find them.
My friend remembered he had a pair of prescription sunglasses still in the car , so went back to the car and got them , except the match was midweek and under the floodlights, so he stood there watching with his sunglasses on looking like a dick.
My friend had to drive 150 miles home at night wearing his prescription sunglasses.
My friends wife laughed at him for being so careless when he got back , my friend didn’t laugh when he had to pay for a new pair.
My friend also has prescription glasses and sunglasses, and one beautiful summer's day he sat with his morning tea on the patio before going to work, it being so bright that he put on his sunglasses.My friend remembered he had a pair of prescription sunglasses still in the car , so went back to the car and got them , except the match was midweek and under the floodlights, so he stood there watching with his sunglasses on looking like a dick.
My friend had to drive 150 miles home at night wearing his prescription sunglasses.
My friends wife laughed at him for being so careless when he got back , my friend didn’t laugh when he had to pay for a new pair.
My friend then drove 40 miles to work with said sunglasses on, leaving his normal glasses at home, and had to spend an entire day teaching secondary school kids wearing shades.
My friend explained to said students that he had an eye problem and had been advised by his doctor to wear them. Luckily it was a Friday so he'd "recovered" by Monday.
When my friend started a new job, he was given a tool box which included a tape measure.
Within a few days the tape measure, being useful, disappeared at a customer site.
He expensed a second tape measure, which of course suffered the same fate.
As he was no longer allowed to buy a third on company expenses, he bought one for a pound from the DIY store. It either retracts very very slowly or so rapidly that it could slice a limb off, without any hint of which it is going to do.
Twenty years later he still has this tape measure, and the scars on his index fingers that formed during this enduring relationship.
Within a few days the tape measure, being useful, disappeared at a customer site.
He expensed a second tape measure, which of course suffered the same fate.
As he was no longer allowed to buy a third on company expenses, he bought one for a pound from the DIY store. It either retracts very very slowly or so rapidly that it could slice a limb off, without any hint of which it is going to do.
Twenty years later he still has this tape measure, and the scars on his index fingers that formed during this enduring relationship.
talksthetorque said:
When my friend started a new job, he was given a tool box which included a tape measure.
Within a few days the tape measure, being useful, disappeared at a customer site.
He expensed a second tape measure, which of course suffered the same fate.
As he was no longer allowed to buy a third on company expenses, he bought one for a pound from the DIY store. It either retracts very very slowly or so rapidly that it could slice a limb off, without any hint of which it is going to do.
Twenty years later he still has this tape measure, and the scars on his index fingers that formed during this enduring relationship.
They are like old friends. I lost one recently that I had for 3 years after the end snapped off. The modern hi tech replacement is just not the same and I suspect will not last a year.Within a few days the tape measure, being useful, disappeared at a customer site.
He expensed a second tape measure, which of course suffered the same fate.
As he was no longer allowed to buy a third on company expenses, he bought one for a pound from the DIY store. It either retracts very very slowly or so rapidly that it could slice a limb off, without any hint of which it is going to do.
Twenty years later he still has this tape measure, and the scars on his index fingers that formed during this enduring relationship.
Breadvan72 said:
My friend has just smashed up the nearside door mirror on his motah. The wood pigeon came off worse. My friend braked sooner and saved a teeny tiny bunny a few miles later.
This sounds awfully like your friend was returning from a more rural location. Perhaps one a lot further west than his normal haunts?rossub said:
Fortunately the purchased car had not been used for quite some time, so my friend reckoned the car had self sanitised.
My friend's 12 year old son is working on this, by the mythical "leave-your-hair-long-enough-without-washing-and-it'll-wash-itself" method.My friend disapproves, but his hormonal 12 year old reacts badly when asked to shower. Tears are not unknown (from the boy, not my friend). My friend has apparently threatened to break out the jetwash, since it has been furloughed due to lack of use in lockdown.
In other news, my friend selfishly spent much of the weekend restoring his old 1980s Raleigh Vitesse bike, including a colour swap from pearl white to a JPS Lotus homage of black and gold. JPS logos and stickers have been purchased and will be fitted once the wind dies down a bit. My friend feels no guilt about tobacco advertising as he has never smoked in his life, and anyway Gulf Oil liveries are just too common.
spikeyhead said:
A significant proportion of posters here long for enough hair to be able to join this conversation
Although he sympathises, my friend in no way suffers from this problem. Indeed, when he is allowed to visit the barber's he is constantly in denial: not about the quantity of hair cut off (he's used to that), but from the increasingly grey hue of cushion-stuffing produced.Turbobanana said:
spikeyhead said:
A significant proportion of posters here long for enough hair to be able to join this conversation
Although he sympathises, my friend in no way suffers from this problem. Indeed, when he is allowed to visit the barber's he is constantly in denial: not about the quantity of hair cut off (he's used to that), but from the increasingly grey hue of cushion-stuffing produced.Turbobanana said:
spikeyhead said:
A significant proportion of posters here long for enough hair to be able to join this conversation
Although he sympathises, my friend in no way suffers from this problem. Indeed, when he is allowed to visit the barber's he is constantly in denial: not about the quantity of hair cut off (he's used to that), but from the increasingly grey hue of cushion-stuffing produced.My friend has a good covering of the bonce which is now beginning to get a bit unruly. My friend also managed to find his old photochromic aviator sunglasses which he has been wearing during the exercising periods in this recent good weather. My friend's missus said the other day that she liked this longer slightly shaggier haired version and now my friend is seriously considering revisiting the 70's with this new style and, perhaps, going the full facial hirsute with full on sideburns. This is, of course, very worrying as the next step could well be flared trousers, oxford bags, 3" waistbands, mahussive lapels, stack shoes, tank tops and the like . . . . . .
Breadvan72 said:
If you do not wash your hair for a while it does indeed become self cleaning. You have a sticky few weeks while the hair adjusts.
Many of us wash out all of the oils in our hair, and then slap expensive oils back on via conditioner.
I thought most gentlemen used the shampoo equivalent to washing up liquid, provided it said anti dandruff?Many of us wash out all of the oils in our hair, and then slap expensive oils back on via conditioner.
My friend finds Adsa or Wilco £1 a bottle works well, with his wife saying "I wish I had hair like yours" as he trips over multiple hair product bottles of hers in the bathroom.
havoc said:
My friend is on a mission to see exactly how much shopping he can fit in his sporty weekend model.
So far he's achieved 6 full bags-for-life in the boot, two wine boxes in the footwell, and 4 more bags-for-life clustered on/around the passenger seat. He was a little concerned he'd overdone it while trying to get it to fit...
My friend once went on holiday to France with his wife in an MGB. On returning he discovered 142 bottles of wine when he emptied the car. He then realised why it wouldn't go very fast, didn't want to stop very quickly, didn't want to go round corners, didn't have much room inside and why the lip on the ramp up to the ferry very nearly turned out to be an insurmountable challenge.So far he's achieved 6 full bags-for-life in the boot, two wine boxes in the footwell, and 4 more bags-for-life clustered on/around the passenger seat. He was a little concerned he'd overdone it while trying to get it to fit...
Travs said:
My friend once went on holiday to France with his wife in an MGB. On returning he discovered 142 bottles of wine when he emptied the car. He then realised why it wouldn't go very fast, didn't want to stop very quickly, didn't want to go round corners, didn't have much room inside and why the lip on the ramp up to the ferry very nearly turned out to be an insurmountable challenge.
My friend once went to the isle of Man and beached his car at the top of the ramp. His wide wasn't happy at being asked to get out, especially as at which point the car was raised enough to clear the ramp...Gassing Station | General Gassing | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff