What has your "friend" been up to?
Discussion
psi310398 said:
Breadvan72 said:
My friend re learned what happens when you try to re start a 1970s car that has a dodgy second hand battery without remembering to turn off the lights, fan, and rear screen demister, and what happens when you take the jump starter box out of the boot and don't put it back in. It's called: two taxi rides.
Your friend might be well advised to invest in a pocket sized powerbank jumpstarter thingy, easily capable of starting up even quite power hungry motors. My friend once managed to get his Range Rover started on a cold winter's morning with one.
My friend was just giving himself a trim in the nether regions. He is going on holiday to a Spanish isle next week and is hoping the effect of sun cream noted by Simon’s dad in the inbetweeners occurs to his wife and hence would like it to look appealing down there.
It has been a little while since my friend addressed the ever growing rainforest and he could not find his grooming kit. He elected, perhaps against his better judgement, to use a small pair of scissors.
Not the neatest job but passable, however he does appear to have nicked his testicles in a number of places. He is not in pain yet but he believes that once he showers and gets dressed, the story may be different.
My friend is quite the silly sausage.
It has been a little while since my friend addressed the ever growing rainforest and he could not find his grooming kit. He elected, perhaps against his better judgement, to use a small pair of scissors.
Not the neatest job but passable, however he does appear to have nicked his testicles in a number of places. He is not in pain yet but he believes that once he showers and gets dressed, the story may be different.
My friend is quite the silly sausage.
slopes said:
Bobberoo99 said:
Tyre Smoke said:
My friend suggests a liberal dousing in aftershave will sort it out.
My friend thinks that your friend is an evil sod!!! 
unfortunately my friend has 4 A Levels you’ll understand, so he would not fall for such a devious plan. JDB96 said:
My friend was just giving himself a trim in the nether regions. He is going on holiday to a Spanish isle next week and is hoping the effect of sun cream noted by Simon’s dad in the inbetweeners occurs to his wife and hence would like it to look appealing down there.
It has been a little while since my friend addressed the ever growing rainforest and he could not find his grooming kit. He elected, perhaps against his better judgement, to use a small pair of scissors.
Not the neatest job but passable, however he does appear to have nicked his testicles in a number of places. He is not in pain yet but he believes that once he showers and gets dressed, the story may be different.
My friend is quite the silly sausage.
My friend hopes your friend has only knicked his scrotum instead of his testicles.It has been a little while since my friend addressed the ever growing rainforest and he could not find his grooming kit. He elected, perhaps against his better judgement, to use a small pair of scissors.
Not the neatest job but passable, however he does appear to have nicked his testicles in a number of places. He is not in pain yet but he believes that once he showers and gets dressed, the story may be different.
My friend is quite the silly sausage.
Buster73 said:
JDB96 said:
My friend was just giving himself a trim in the nether regions. He is going on holiday to a Spanish isle next week and is hoping the effect of sun cream noted by Simon’s dad in the inbetweeners occurs to his wife and hence would like it to look appealing down there.
It has been a little while since my friend addressed the ever growing rainforest and he could not find his grooming kit. He elected, perhaps against his better judgement, to use a small pair of scissors.
Not the neatest job but passable, however he does appear to have nicked his testicles in a number of places. He is not in pain yet but he believes that once he showers and gets dressed, the story may be different.
My friend is quite the silly sausage.
My friend hopes your friend has only knicked his scrotum instead of his testicles.It has been a little while since my friend addressed the ever growing rainforest and he could not find his grooming kit. He elected, perhaps against his better judgement, to use a small pair of scissors.
Not the neatest job but passable, however he does appear to have nicked his testicles in a number of places. He is not in pain yet but he believes that once he showers and gets dressed, the story may be different.
My friend is quite the silly sausage.
Was the second half of your username originally gonad?
My friend may be about to rejoin the dating scene, he thinks it may be time to also trim his rather over-forrested nethers.
My friend will exercise caution and carefully choose the necessary implements. Definitely not a rusty lawnmower blade.
My friend would like to advise that if anyone's friend is going for a bit of gonadic deforestation something like a Philips Oneblade is ideal for giving an American Marine grade cut without going full Kojak.
He also states that if full Kojak is not maintained (and who, apart from porn stars, is going to do that) the stubbly regrowth is akin to someone rubbing a sheet of wet and dry over something that doesn't appreciate having a sheet of wet and dry rubbed over it.
He also states that if full Kojak is not maintained (and who, apart from porn stars, is going to do that) the stubbly regrowth is akin to someone rubbing a sheet of wet and dry over something that doesn't appreciate having a sheet of wet and dry rubbed over it.
BigMon said:
My friend would like to advise that if anyone's friend is going for a bit of gonadic deforestation something like a Philips Oneblade is ideal for giving an American Marine grade cut without going full Kojak.
He also states that if full Kojak is not maintained (and who, apart from porn stars, is going to do that) the stubbly regrowth is akin to someone rubbing a sheet of wet and dry over something that doesn't appreciate having a sheet of wet and dry rubbed over it.
As you say the real key is maintaining it! Discovered this the hard way too. He also states that if full Kojak is not maintained (and who, apart from porn stars, is going to do that) the stubbly regrowth is akin to someone rubbing a sheet of wet and dry over something that doesn't appreciate having a sheet of wet and dry rubbed over it.
My friend got up at 4AM yesterday because he had work deadlines. He then spent some time posting on various internet fora. He then had some toast for breakfast and a cubic f
ktonne of coffee. He then had a long rambling chat on the phone with an old friend. He then met another friend for a long and boozy lunch at Rule's (gravadlax, grouse, Stilton, one Bloody Mary, one glass of Champagne, half a bottle of claret, one Cognac, two espressos), followed by a visit to the Port House on The Strand (one aged white port). His friend then caught his train home and my friend chatted to his daughter on the phone, exchanged some flirty texts with a female friend, and then went and met his wife for dinner at The Ivy (cheese souffle, grilled lobster, just one glass of Champagne - he's not an animal). Then my friend went home and soon afterwards went to bed. He did exactly no work at all during the entirety of the day.
Today he had to get up at 4AM again. He has eventually done his work. He will never learn. He is off out in a bit to lunch with his nephew in Soho. No good can possibly come of this.
ktonne of coffee. He then had a long rambling chat on the phone with an old friend. He then met another friend for a long and boozy lunch at Rule's (gravadlax, grouse, Stilton, one Bloody Mary, one glass of Champagne, half a bottle of claret, one Cognac, two espressos), followed by a visit to the Port House on The Strand (one aged white port). His friend then caught his train home and my friend chatted to his daughter on the phone, exchanged some flirty texts with a female friend, and then went and met his wife for dinner at The Ivy (cheese souffle, grilled lobster, just one glass of Champagne - he's not an animal). Then my friend went home and soon afterwards went to bed. He did exactly no work at all during the entirety of the day. Today he had to get up at 4AM again. He has eventually done his work. He will never learn. He is off out in a bit to lunch with his nephew in Soho. No good can possibly come of this.
JakeT said:
Your friend is a massive git going to Rule's. My friend hasn't managed to make it there this year, and is now in the mood for a steak, or pie. 
Guinness out of a silver tankard feels so 'right', too.
My friend is surprised that the “ Guinness out of a silver tankard” is classed as a House Cocktail ....Guinness out of a silver tankard feels so 'right', too.
But yes - not haven partaken with a Rules dinner this year - my friend is immensely jealous of BV’s friends lifestyle (though it does sound like Gout maybe in BVs friends future)
Darlings, you mean a Black Velvet, surely? Champagne and Guinness in a silver tankard. My friend's friend had one of those.
My friend complained that the jugged hare and the red leg partridge were not available, so he had to rough it with grouse.
My friend complained that the jugged hare and the red leg partridge were not available, so he had to rough it with grouse.
Edited by anonymous-user on Friday 30th October 12:39
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