What has your "friend" been up to?
Discussion
nipsips said:
My friend once visited a toilet in a large shopping centre, didnt see any urinals so walked into a cubicle and unzipped. Then heard womens voices. Then noticed the tampon disposal bin on the floor. Then had to try figure out how to exit the toilet without getting seen...
my friend did exactly the same in a Spanish airport, walked past 2 ladies 'powdering' their noses and decided the best option was to pretend to try and look like a lesbian/cross dresser (yes I know it not possible)
My friend's latest scrapes and japes include the following:-
1. He decided to buy a 32 year old shed made by BL, and went off to collect it from the wilds of East Anglia, hundreds of miles from home, without a mobile phone. He got away with it, that time.
2. He let a bloke off the internet attempt to fix another old shed of his. This did not go entirely according to plan.
These are as nothing compared to the worst in his long and shame filled list of egregious crimes against automotive reason, taste, and judgement. Having just had a rare moment of clarity and sold his shonky old Lotus, he went out and bought another one.
I do not think that there is much that can be done for my friend.
1. He decided to buy a 32 year old shed made by BL, and went off to collect it from the wilds of East Anglia, hundreds of miles from home, without a mobile phone. He got away with it, that time.
2. He let a bloke off the internet attempt to fix another old shed of his. This did not go entirely according to plan.
These are as nothing compared to the worst in his long and shame filled list of egregious crimes against automotive reason, taste, and judgement. Having just had a rare moment of clarity and sold his shonky old Lotus, he went out and bought another one.
I do not think that there is much that can be done for my friend.
Steve_F said:
My friend got annoyed at not seeing an autobahn in Germany and wound his 2.0 10v Volvo 850 up to a dizzying 110 indicated, wondered who the guys with the machine guns were at the side of the road before twigging he was crossing the Belgian border like a scalded cat. Oops!
That really made me laugh My friend got us all to go to Germany in an old camper with a ford pinto engine.
He did not put the handbrake on in Euro tunnel when train slowed down we smashed into the back of the car in front.
It was at this point as we'd crashed just entering foreign soil he announced he was unsure if had insurance cover abroad.
This was day 1 of 5 days of hell !
He did not put the handbrake on in Euro tunnel when train slowed down we smashed into the back of the car in front.
It was at this point as we'd crashed just entering foreign soil he announced he was unsure if had insurance cover abroad.
This was day 1 of 5 days of hell !
My friend has been involved in the following.
Nearly (accidently) running a Police Officer over when he failed to notice a broken down car in the road as he came round the bend (lucky sod somehow escaped with the b
king of a lifetime).
Driven along the M1, approaching Staples Corner rather quickly, only to realise that the brakes on his st heap of a Fiesta Popular Plus were made from milk bottle tops . He needed a new gearbox and underpants after that.
Taken a Mk2 16v Golf round this bend https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@52.4044775,-1.17954... at over 100mph. Yes, he was a tt, and he did st himself! 
Managed to get a full 360 on a busy dual carriageway after hit standing water and aquaplaning like a bd.
Bought a st heap off Ebay, sight unseen, and on collection witnessed a drugs raid at the
owners house
He's calmed down now
Nearly (accidently) running a Police Officer over when he failed to notice a broken down car in the road as he came round the bend (lucky sod somehow escaped with the b
king of a lifetime).Driven along the M1, approaching Staples Corner rather quickly, only to realise that the brakes on his s
t heap of a Fiesta Popular Plus were made from milk bottle tops . He needed a new gearbox and underpants after that.Taken a Mk2 16v Golf round this bend https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@52.4044775,-1.17954... at over 100mph. Yes, he was a t
t, and he did st himself! Managed to get a full 360 on a busy dual carriageway after hit standing water and aquaplaning like a b
d.Bought a s
t heap off Ebay, sight unseen, and on collection witnessed a drugs raid at theowners house
He's calmed down now
Edited by jogger1976 on Saturday 18th July 10:15
Edited by jogger1976 on Saturday 18th July 10:16
jogger1976 said:
Taken a Mk2 16v Golf round this bend https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@52.4044775,-1.17954... at over 100mph. Yes, he was a tt, and he did st himself!
Heading onto M6 or M1?t, and he did st himself! ...because the first isn't THAT big a deal (albeit probably fairly eye-opening in a Mk2), whereas the second could see the need for a sudden stop at Watford Gap for new underwear in most cars shy of the modern supercar crop...
when we were younger my friend (who's father was a very senior judge) allowed another friend to "supervise" him driving his father's car - a Volvo 240 estate.
This was on the understanding that the other friend had passed his driving test and had a full licence - all went without issue until the other friend passed his driving test and were dropped in the ste by yet another friend who had learned of the first time pass (with no errors or minor faults) and loudly congratulated him on doing so well on his driving test.
This conversation was heard by the mother of my friend who shouted through from the kitchen - "you pair lying little bds - just wait till I tell your father and telephone your parents too" She never did tell his father or his friend's parents.......
This was on the understanding that the other friend had passed his driving test and had a full licence - all went without issue until the other friend passed his driving test and were dropped in the s
te by yet another friend who had learned of the first time pass (with no errors or minor faults) and loudly congratulated him on doing so well on his driving test. This conversation was heard by the mother of my friend who shouted through from the kitchen - "you pair lying little b
ds - just wait till I tell your father and telephone your parents too" She never did tell his father or his friend's parents.......My friend, while showing off the accelerative properties of his noisy Japanese rally rep to a coworker on a greasy sliproad entered a (thankfully near empty) a14 in a full on 4 wheel drift at the top of third gear. Said friend is still unsure how he managed to keep his foot in and apply the requisite dabs of oppo while sucking most of the seat upholstery into his bottom dot and has vowed never to do anything that silly ever again
havoc said:
jogger1976 said:
Taken a Mk2 16v Golf round this bend https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@52.4044775,-1.17954... at over 100mph. Yes, he was a tt, and he did st himself!
Heading onto M6 or M1?t, and he did st himself! ...because the first isn't THAT big a deal (albeit probably fairly eye-opening in a Mk2), whereas the second could see the need for a sudden stop at Watford Gap for new underwear in most cars shy of the modern supercar crop...
2am on a Sunday
105 on the speedo
All of the road was used
The lean angle and screeching of tyres was apparently quite alarming
The words "f
k" and "st" might have been uttered several timesI'm told some poo came out (and a bit of wee)
My friend, in his careless idiot days, drove a clapped out MK5 Escort all the way from London to York in the dead of night. Oh how he cursed the bd old thing for being such an utter stbox and for having nowhere near acceptable headlights. A complete death trap and simply not suitable for the road!
It was only many months later, after he'd actually bothered to investigate what the very limited amount of knobs and levers on the dashboard do, that he realised he'd been driving with the parking lights on. This revelation also shed some light (tehe) on the apparently very angry Ford Galaxy driver that had been aggressively following and flashing his lights at my friend at one point during that fateful night.
Alas however, the antics didn't stop there. My friend also, much to do with the lack of acceptable lighting, very narrowly missed the slip road to York. In his frustration at the world he took a quick look in the mirror and concluded that the road was deserted and so instead of simply carrying on to the next exit he proceeded to drop the anchors and reverse the couple of feet it took to clear the slip road. On the A64.
My friend fully acknowledges the error of his ways and is but greatful to be alive. He has since become much more responsible and has learned from his numerous mistakes, albeit still employs a driving style at times described as 'similar to that of a Turkish taxi driver'.
With regards to the last point, that very same friend also got stopped once by a convoy of German police cars at the Danish border on suspicion for smuggling drugs and hence had his car searched and passport details taken by some very stern officers. It would appear that a fully laden, foreign registered car with a slightly fat bloke in it making a 120mph run for a border looks a bit dodgy. Some pearls of wisdom there (and a couple nuggets of poo as the 'POLIZEI!' sign flashed up in the rear window... or so I'm told).
d old thing for being such an utter stbox and for having nowhere near acceptable headlights. A complete death trap and simply not suitable for the road!It was only many months later, after he'd actually bothered to investigate what the very limited amount of knobs and levers on the dashboard do, that he realised he'd been driving with the parking lights on. This revelation also shed some light (tehe) on the apparently very angry Ford Galaxy driver that had been aggressively following and flashing his lights at my friend at one point during that fateful night.
Alas however, the antics didn't stop there. My friend also, much to do with the lack of acceptable lighting, very narrowly missed the slip road to York. In his frustration at the world he took a quick look in the mirror and concluded that the road was deserted and so instead of simply carrying on to the next exit he proceeded to drop the anchors and reverse the couple of feet it took to clear the slip road. On the A64.
My friend fully acknowledges the error of his ways and is but greatful to be alive. He has since become much more responsible and has learned from his numerous mistakes, albeit still employs a driving style at times described as 'similar to that of a Turkish taxi driver'.
With regards to the last point, that very same friend also got stopped once by a convoy of German police cars at the Danish border on suspicion for smuggling drugs and hence had his car searched and passport details taken by some very stern officers. It would appear that a fully laden, foreign registered car with a slightly fat bloke in it making a 120mph run for a border looks a bit dodgy. Some pearls of wisdom there (and a couple nuggets of poo as the 'POLIZEI!' sign flashed up in the rear window... or so I'm told).
Gassing Station | General Gassing | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff