The Car Salesman's Thread

[BE57 TOY]

AtticusFinch said:

Or the old ones are the best

C; Can you offer a discount
SM; Can you spell discount
C; D.I.S.C.O.U.N.T
SM; You missed the "F"
C; Theirs on "F" in discount
SM; Exactly

Or Customer: How much for my PX youu Insult me.
Salesman: If I wanted to insult you I would be far more creative.
(I've used this one)

I don't get it

[POORCARDEALER]

BE57 TOY said:

AtticusFinch said:

Or the old ones are the best

C; Can you offer a discount
SM; Can you spell discount
C; D.I.S.C.O.U.N.T
SM; You missed the "F"
C; Theirs on "F" in discount
SM; Exactly

Or Customer: How much for my PX youu Insult me.
Salesman: If I wanted to insult you I would be far more creative.
(I've used this one)

I don't get it

There's NO F in discount

[BE57 TOY]

POORCARDEALER said:

There's NO F in discount

I know there isn't. I still don't get it? Why ask them to spell it and why say there's no F? There's no A or B either?

[mercfunder]

BE57 TOY said:

POORCARDEALER said:

There's NO F in discount

I know there isn't. I still don't get it? Why ask them to spell it and why say there's no F? There's no A or B either?

No F as in "no f***ing discount".

It's a joke that is as old as the hills, and I guarantee has never been used in a real situation.

[BE57 TOY]

mercfunder said:

No F as in "no f***ing discount".

It's a joke that is as old as the hills, and I guarantee has never been used in a real situation.

Oh - I get it now. Slooooow.

[HTP99]

Ponk said:

markmullen said:

Butter Face said:

Our commercial guy is a very straight talking northerner and said similar to someone a few weeks ago.

The customer then said 'I think you're a liar, you can do the discount' to which my colleague stood up, said 'we're done here, leave, now' and frog marched him out the door

We were all cringing but our SM and Sales Director were howling with laughter.

I've kicked a few out, one was ripping into a new salesman I was mentoring, really rude. I got to the point where I'd had enough. I stood up, he did too (as people do, they mirror you), I started walking towards the door, he followed. As we got to the door he said "where are we going?" I replied "well you're leaving, we're going for a brew" and opened the door for him. The look on his face was priceless. He muttered all sorts of threats of calling Trading Standards (right, because they'll care) and MG Rover (as if they'd care, we were outperforming every other MGR dealership in the country).

Loving these stories

I had a guy once being bloody awkward on a new car, he came in and wanted "the best price" on a Laguna, he had never driven one or even sat in one and didn't really know what spec he wanted, when I said I can't give "the best price" on a car which he didn't even know which spec he wanted he just opened up the price guide and randomly pointed and said "that one" "oh and I have a part exchange".

He turned up in a 5 series, I said ok I'll look at it, "I'm not trading that I want to trade the wifes Scenic", it wasn't there, I told him I can't value a car that isn't available for me to see.

When I pointed out to him that really his isn't the best way to do things as:

A) He didn't know what spec or engine he wanted
B) He had never driven one let alone sat in one
C) His part ex wasn't here

He threw the price guide at me and stormed off shouting that I'm an effiing wker and would never buy a car from us, I shouted after him and told him that I wouldn't want someone as rude as him to buy a car from us anyway, he stormed back and squared up to me, I held my ground, he turned back, shouted that I was a c*¥t and walked out.

Whilst all this was going on my Sales Manger was in his office avoiding the whole confrontation, he would have know what was happening as it all went on directly in front of his office.

[LouD86]

I love reading these, its a reminder of times good!!

Im back at work, first day in since the 2nd, 3 wasters wanting to sit in the GT86 again, its starting to get annoying all the dreamers!!

And then someone wanting to testdrive a V8 Landcruiser. I can arrange it, but not for today. Its not good enough apparently! Ahhh well

[HTP99]

LouD86 said:

And then someone wanting to testdrive a V8 Landcruiser. I can arrange it, but not for today. Its not good enough apparently! Ahhh well

Don't you just hate that, someone rocks up demanding a test drive, no phone call to check its possible and then gets the hump as you can't accommodate them, they expect you to have everything available when they want at a drop of a hat, and they also expect you to be free, "we do have other customers you know!"

Similar to people who come in unannounced with a print off from the website, "oh I've come to have a look at this used XYZ", they get the stress on when you tell them it's not here, our website is very clear in letting people know that we have four branches.

[Zwolf]

HTP99 said:

LouD86 said:

And then someone wanting to testdrive a V8 Landcruiser. I can arrange it, but not for today. Its not good enough apparently! Ahhh well

Don't you just hate that, someone rocks up demanding a test drive, no phone call to check its possible and then gets the hump as you can't accommodate them, they expect you to have everything available when they want at a drop of a hat, and they also expect you to be free, "we do have other customers you know!"

Similar to people who come in unannounced with a print off from the website, "oh I've come to have a look at this used XYZ", they get the stress on when you tell them it's not here, our website is very clear in letting people know that we have four branches.

That's always a good one. Had one last Sunday come in to see a car that was in stock within our company, but at a different location. But instead of going to that dealership (where it indeed was located, strangely enough), they came in to us because we're local to where they live and they'd hoped that "by chance it might be here".

You'd make a call before leaving the house, wouldn't you? Perhaps I'm odd in that I'm less happy to waste my own time (let alone anyone else's) than many folk. Sundays do seem to bring them out in droves, thankfully this is my first one off in four and I'm quite glad.

[LouD86]

Zwolf said:

HTP99 said:

LouD86 said:

And then someone wanting to testdrive a V8 Landcruiser. I can arrange it, but not for today. Its not good enough apparently! Ahhh well

Don't you just hate that, someone rocks up demanding a test drive, no phone call to check its possible and then gets the hump as you can't accommodate them, they expect you to have everything available when they want at a drop of a hat, and they also expect you to be free, "we do have other customers you know!"

Similar to people who come in unannounced with a print off from the website, "oh I've come to have a look at this used XYZ", they get the stress on when you tell them it's not here, our website is very clear in letting people know that we have four branches.

That's always a good one. Had one last Sunday come in to see a car that was in stock within our company, but at a different location. But instead of going to that dealership (where it indeed was located, strangely enough), they came in to us because we're local to where they live and they'd hoped that "by chance it might be here".

You'd make a call before leaving the house, wouldn't you? Perhaps I'm odd in that I'm less happy to waste my own time (let alone anyone else's) than many folk. Sundays do seem to bring them out in droves, thankfully this is my first one off in four and I'm quite glad.

Its one of those weekends I think!! Had some right timewasters in, but have done a used on PCP, so happy with that.

We are a small satalite dealership off our main branch, I do believe they have a V8 demo, I could arrange for it during the week, but its not good enough that we dont have it here!! Not often you have two 60k demo's floating about when your 19 miles apart!!

[markmullen]

Well my open day went swimmingly, massive turnout, great day.

Now knackered having been in the office at 6am.

Sunday dinner with the outlaws now

[Zwolf]

markmullen said:

Well my open day went swimmingly, massive turnout, great day.

[Roo]

LouD86 said:

Zwolf said:

HTP99 said:

LouD86 said:

And then someone wanting to testdrive a V8 Landcruiser. I can arrange it, but not for today. Its not good enough apparently! Ahhh well

Don't you just hate that, someone rocks up demanding a test drive, no phone call to check its possible and then gets the hump as you can't accommodate them, they expect you to have everything available when they want at a drop of a hat, and they also expect you to be free, "we do have other customers you know!"

Similar to people who come in unannounced with a print off from the website, "oh I've come to have a look at this used XYZ", they get the stress on when you tell them it's not here, our website is very clear in letting people know that we have four branches.

That's always a good one. Had one last Sunday come in to see a car that was in stock within our company, but at a different location. But instead of going to that dealership (where it indeed was located, strangely enough), they came in to us because we're local to where they live and they'd hoped that "by chance it might be here".

You'd make a call before leaving the house, wouldn't you? Perhaps I'm odd in that I'm less happy to waste my own time (let alone anyone else's) than many folk. Sundays do seem to bring them out in droves, thankfully this is my first one off in four and I'm quite glad.

Its one of those weekends I think!! Had some right timewasters in, but have done a used on PCP, so happy with that.

We are a small satalite dealership off our main branch, I do believe they have a V8 demo, I could arrange for it during the week, but its not good enough that we dont have it here!! Not often you have two 60k demo's floating about when your 19 miles apart!!

That's why our website says viewings and test drives strictly by appointment.

When they rock up and start to get annoyed you just mention it to them and most of them ar ok.

The other problem I had recently was someone came in to see a Cadillac that was sold. They were insistent it was still being advertised on our website. Got our website up and running and definitely wasn't there. They were looking at a cached page from autotrader on their mobile and insisting I was wrong.

Muppet.

[daemon]

Roo said:

LouD86 said:

Zwolf said:

HTP99 said:

LouD86 said:

And then someone wanting to testdrive a V8 Landcruiser. I can arrange it, but not for today. Its not good enough apparently! Ahhh well

Don't you just hate that, someone rocks up demanding a test drive, no phone call to check its possible and then gets the hump as you can't accommodate them, they expect you to have everything available when they want at a drop of a hat, and they also expect you to be free, "we do have other customers you know!"

Similar to people who come in unannounced with a print off from the website, "oh I've come to have a look at this used XYZ", they get the stress on when you tell them it's not here, our website is very clear in letting people know that we have four branches.

That's always a good one. Had one last Sunday come in to see a car that was in stock within our company, but at a different location. But instead of going to that dealership (where it indeed was located, strangely enough), they came in to us because we're local to where they live and they'd hoped that "by chance it might be here".

You'd make a call before leaving the house, wouldn't you? Perhaps I'm odd in that I'm less happy to waste my own time (let alone anyone else's) than many folk. Sundays do seem to bring them out in droves, thankfully this is my first one off in four and I'm quite glad.

Its one of those weekends I think!! Had some right timewasters in, but have done a used on PCP, so happy with that.

We are a small satalite dealership off our main branch, I do believe they have a V8 demo, I could arrange for it during the week, but its not good enough that we dont have it here!! Not often you have two 60k demo's floating about when your 19 miles apart!!

That's why our website says viewings and test drives strictly by appointment.

When they rock up and start to get annoyed you just mention it to them and most of them ar ok.

The other problem I had recently was someone came in to see a Cadillac that was sold. They were insistent it was still being advertised on our website. Got our website up and running and definitely wasn't there. They were looking at a cached page from autotrader on their mobile and insisting I was wrong.

Muppet.

I get that a lot too.

One of the problems i have too is that some other car sales websites take our adverts from the ones we pay to advertise on to bolster up the amount of cars they have on theirs. Thats all very well but as soon as a car sells i remove it from the websites we use and mark it up as sold on our own, however these other sites dont bother removing them so i get prospective customers getting shirty with me as the car is 'still advertised'

[HTP99]

daemon said:

Roo said:

LouD86 said:

Zwolf said:

HTP99 said:

LouD86 said:

And then someone wanting to testdrive a V8 Landcruiser. I can arrange it, but not for today. Its not good enough apparently! Ahhh well

Don't you just hate that, someone rocks up demanding a test drive, no phone call to check its possible and then gets the hump as you can't accommodate them, they expect you to have everything available when they want at a drop of a hat, and they also expect you to be free, "we do have other customers you know!"

Similar to people who come in unannounced with a print off from the website, "oh I've come to have a look at this used XYZ", they get the stress on when you tell them it's not here, our website is very clear in letting people know that we have four branches.

That's always a good one. Had one last Sunday come in to see a car that was in stock within our company, but at a different location. But instead of going to that dealership (where it indeed was located, strangely enough), they came in to us because we're local to where they live and they'd hoped that "by chance it might be here".

You'd make a call before leaving the house, wouldn't you? Perhaps I'm odd in that I'm less happy to waste my own time (let alone anyone else's) than many folk. Sundays do seem to bring them out in droves, thankfully this is my first one off in four and I'm quite glad.

Its one of those weekends I think!! Had some right timewasters in, but have done a used on PCP, so happy with that.

We are a small satalite dealership off our main branch, I do believe they have a V8 demo, I could arrange for it during the week, but its not good enough that we dont have it here!! Not often you have two 60k demo's floating about when your 19 miles apart!!

That's why our website says viewings and test drives strictly by appointment.

When they rock up and start to get annoyed you just mention it to them and most of them ar ok.

The other problem I had recently was someone came in to see a Cadillac that was sold. They were insistent it was still being advertised on our website. Got our website up and running and definitely wasn't there. They were looking at a cached page from autotrader on their mobile and insisting I was wrong.

Muppet.

I get that a lot too.

One of the problems i have too is that some other car sales websites take our adverts from the ones we pay to advertise on to bolster up the amount of cars they have on theirs. Thats all very well but as soon as a car sells i remove it from the websites we use and mark it up as sold on our own, however these other sites dont bother removing them so i get prospective customers getting shirty with me as the car is 'still advertised'

Autotrader can take a few days to be updated too, we sell a car, un-tick the Autotrader feed box on our website and we will still be getting calls on it three days later as its still on the Autotrader website.

[LHD]

markmullen said:

Well my open day went swimmingly, massive turnout, great day.

Now knackered having been in the office at 6am.

Sunday dinner with the outlaws now

Sorry i couldn't make it, i was babysitting the children...

[Butter Face]

Where do you find you get the most leads?

We use eBay which really doesn't give us as much as I'd hoped (especially for what it costs!)

[markmullen]

Butter Face said:

Where do you find you get the most leads?

We use eBay which really doesn't give us as much as I'd hoped (especially for what it costs!)

I found all the leads we got from ebay motors were knobbers.

Our website does 50% or so, 40% from PH and 10% from Classic Driver, Classic Cars for Sale and Car and Classic combined.

[LHD]

We're 90% AT and 10% press ads

[daemon]

I'm at the sub £5,000 end of the market -

Probably something like 60% gumtree, 30% www.usedcarsni.com and 10% from our website.

Thinking of trying ebay motors.