Worst cliches used in car advert descriptions

[Garlick]

The air con doesn't work, just needs a re-gas....Why don't you do it then?

Not used for 6 months but ran perfectly when last used. Yeah, righto.

[texasjohn]

Podie said:

"fully loaded" - followed by either:

a) photos that show there is no sat nav, no xenons, no park distance control, no leather, etc...
b) a list of equipment that is fitted to the vehicle as standard

Sibling of 'all possible options' on an E90 I looked at...followed by nav and leather but no logic7 hi-fi, rear sunblinds, climate comfort windscreen, split fold rear seats and probably one or two other things...

[texasjohn]

Garlick said:

The air con doesn't work, just needs a re-gas....Why don't you do it then?

That old chestnut.

[halo34]

Being a classifieds addict I just found another...

Sparkling "insert colour here", I can't remember the last time I saw a car sitting there sparkling on it's own.

Its wk

[Mikeyplum]

texasjohn said:

Podie said:

"fully loaded" - followed by either:

a) photos that show there is no sat nav, no xenons, no park distance control, no leather, etc...
b) a list of equipment that is fitted to the vehicle as standard

Sibling of 'all possible options' on an E90 I looked at...followed by nav and leather but no logic7 hi-fi, rear sunblinds, climate comfort windscreen, split fold rear seats and probably one or two other things...

Autotrader is the worst for this. Don't know if it's an automated thing. You get lists of things expected on a car anyway like:

60/40 rear seats, Drivers airbag, Stereo, Seatbelts, Seats, Wheels, Steering wheel, and so on...

Then it goes on to list things like:

Dualzone climate controll, Cruise control, Heated seats

These are then accompanied with pictures of the interior of the car which show none of these things! GRR!

[Garlick]

Podie said:

"fully loaded" - followed by either:

a) photos that show there is no sat nav, no xenons, no park distance control, no leather, etc...
b) a list of equipment that is fitted to the vehicle as standard

Spotted an ad for a 'FULLY LOADED AMAZING SPEC' Audi A6 the other day. First line said 'grey cloth'

Hmm....

[Otispunkmeyer]

"Cheapest example in the UK!"

Usually directly below an indenticle car priced a couple of £100 less.

[lockhart flawse]

You know the seller is a dibber when they write "drives superb". It's superbly you drongo.

I also hate it when a car is described as being in the "best colour".

L.F.

[Fire99]

"Here we have....." Who is this we? How many people are selling the bleedin' car? Ok, not exactly the crime of the century, but often after starting with that line, all the other cliches seem to appear.

[halo34]

We should have a PH dictionary of car advert BS - bit like the estate agents version but for cars

New baby on way - Something drastic wrong with the car, I know I bought a lemon and need any excuse to sell it.

Aircon just needs re-gas - I am lying, its fked and needs completely overhauled, I am saying this in the hope your too fking stupid to work it out.

etc

[B.J.W]

'Never Tracked'

Saw this recently on PH - a car owned previously by one of my friends.

The pictures of the car accompanying the advert were excellent - on a track...

[BorkFactor]

I posted this in another thread, but I think it should be here too...

http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/2012...

[Classic Grad 98]

No-one seems to know the definition of the words 'Mint', 'immaculate', 'unmarked' etc. Drives me mad.

[Classic Grad 98]

Oh and 'Clean', 'cleanest' etc- what's that supposed to mean? you'd assume it meant they'd cleaned it in preparation for the sale but I'm lead to believe that it also implys good condition?

[WeirdNeville]

halo34 said:

I forgot 99,000 miles......yeah right..

Enquired about a car with 99,000 miles on it.. "FSH, belts just done..." hmmm, Hpi shows it had 114k in 2010! No thanks!

Having just sold a couple of cars, I'm guilty of some of these....

NadiR said:

"Owned by family and friends for 20+ years"

He he! It WAS a family owned car, and the buyer actually commented that they liked the fact I'd mentioned that. It was my dads name above mine on the V5....

Mikeyplum said:

Autotrader is the worst for this. Don't know if it's an automated thing. You get lists of things expected on a car anyway like:

60/40 rear seats, Drivers airbag, Stereo, Seatbelts, Seats, Wheels, Steering wheel, and so on...

Then it goes on to list things like:

Dualzone climate controll, Cruise control, Heated seats

These are then accompanied with pictures of the interior of the car which show none of these things! GRR!

It does indeed autofill the "standard" features of the cars after your blurb. I was careful to edit mine out so that it read alright and didn't double list things or include anything that wasn't true. It did put a couple of features in there that the car didn't ahve - sunroof for example.

[All that jazz]

This thread is full of 'win'.

[Vocal Minority]

My particular favourite is advertising a car as

15,000 miles on clock! (engine re con 15,000 miles ago on 75,000 miles).

So the engine re-con has rejuivanted the clutch, gearbox and suspension components to 15,000 miles old? Clever trick!

[Mr2Mike]

"Excellent pre-accident condition"

[Classic Grad 98]

Mr2Mike said:

"Excellent pre-accident condition"

that's like saying "...was in excellent condition when it was new eight years ago"

[benjj]

"only selling due to company car..."

• drives 40 miles to see*

• arrives at festering hovel with broken couch in front garden, pitbull growling by front door, pizza boxes everywhere, sky dish & 175 inch TV proudly displayed in front window*

• no sign of any other car anywhere*

• seller meeting you at 11am on a Tuesday has clearly just got out of bed, probably to beat his kids*

"Oh, err, yeah, the wife has just taken the new company car to Asda...."

Riiiiight, I'll be seeing you pal.