Amusing Parking Attendant Discussion
Discussion
Drek said:
You'll never guess what happened to me at the station? Well! So there I was at the gate when I realised they were open and had no reason to shove my taxpayer funded season ticket through the machine in order to let me onto the platform. I sauntered through, safe in the knowledge that I had a valid ticket in my pocket and could proceed unmolested to catch the 0647 to London. As I walked down the platform I became aware of a minion in a blue uniform calling after me; 'Sir, sir, you didn't swipe your ticket through, I'll have to check it.'
'Ah, I said triumphantly, but the gates were open and I was unable to swipe my ticket therefore I'm right!.'
'I know sir but you still need to have your ticket checked.'
'But there was no SW Trains minion at the gate to check my ticket therefore I am right. And smug.'
'I'm sorry sir, I still need to check your ticket please and I'll check the gates to make sure they're working properly.'
Begrudgingly, I handed my taxpayer funded season ticket over but man, was I happy that I'd got one over on this tinpot gate jockey. I stuck one to the man, shit yeah.
However, as I walked off back down the platform, a thought struck me: It's because of the cut of my suit and the colour of my tie why he picked on me, wasn't it? So I ran back down the platform got right in his grid square and said to him 'I'll bet you wouldn't have pulled me up if I'd been wearing jeans and a Primark t-shirt would you?' I confess that I had spittle in the sides of my mouth and a little bit of wee came out but I couldn't let him get away with it, could I?
I won, I fucking won!
Sadly the fat bird got on a different carriage but I'll get her next time.
This is great 'Ah, I said triumphantly, but the gates were open and I was unable to swipe my ticket therefore I'm right!.'
'I know sir but you still need to have your ticket checked.'
'But there was no SW Trains minion at the gate to check my ticket therefore I am right. And smug.'
'I'm sorry sir, I still need to check your ticket please and I'll check the gates to make sure they're working properly.'
Begrudgingly, I handed my taxpayer funded season ticket over but man, was I happy that I'd got one over on this tinpot gate jockey. I stuck one to the man, shit yeah.
However, as I walked off back down the platform, a thought struck me: It's because of the cut of my suit and the colour of my tie why he picked on me, wasn't it? So I ran back down the platform got right in his grid square and said to him 'I'll bet you wouldn't have pulled me up if I'd been wearing jeans and a Primark t-shirt would you?' I confess that I had spittle in the sides of my mouth and a little bit of wee came out but I couldn't let him get away with it, could I?
I won, I fucking won!
Sadly the fat bird got on a different carriage but I'll get her next time.
Drek said:
You'll never guess what happened to me at the station? Well! So there I was at the gate when I realised they were open and had no reason to shove my taxpayer funded season ticket through the machine in order to let me onto the platform. I sauntered through, safe in the knowledge that I had a valid ticket in my pocket and could proceed unmolested to catch the 0647 to London. As I walked down the platform I became aware of a minion in a blue uniform calling after me; 'Sir, sir, you didn't swipe your ticket through, I'll have to check it.'
'Ah, I said triumphantly, but the gates were open and I was unable to swipe my ticket therefore I'm right!.'
'I know sir but you still need to have your ticket checked.'
'But there was no SW Trains minion at the gate to check my ticket therefore I am right. And smug.'
'I'm sorry sir, I still need to check your ticket please and I'll check the gates to make sure they're working properly.'
Begrudgingly, I handed my taxpayer funded season ticket over but man, was I happy that I'd got one over on this tinpot gate jockey. I stuck one to the man, shit yeah.
However, as I walked off back down the platform, a thought struck me: It's because of the cut of my suit and the colour of my tie why he picked on me, wasn't it? So I ran back down the platform got right in his grid square and said to him 'I'll bet you wouldn't have pulled me up if I'd been wearing jeans and a Primark t-shirt would you?' I confess that I had spittle in the sides of my mouth and a little bit of wee came out but I couldn't let him get away with it, could I?
I won, I fucking won!
Sadly the fat bird got on a different carriage but I'll get her next time.
'Ah, I said triumphantly, but the gates were open and I was unable to swipe my ticket therefore I'm right!.'
'I know sir but you still need to have your ticket checked.'
'But there was no SW Trains minion at the gate to check my ticket therefore I am right. And smug.'
'I'm sorry sir, I still need to check your ticket please and I'll check the gates to make sure they're working properly.'
Begrudgingly, I handed my taxpayer funded season ticket over but man, was I happy that I'd got one over on this tinpot gate jockey. I stuck one to the man, shit yeah.
However, as I walked off back down the platform, a thought struck me: It's because of the cut of my suit and the colour of my tie why he picked on me, wasn't it? So I ran back down the platform got right in his grid square and said to him 'I'll bet you wouldn't have pulled me up if I'd been wearing jeans and a Primark t-shirt would you?' I confess that I had spittle in the sides of my mouth and a little bit of wee came out but I couldn't let him get away with it, could I?
I won, I fucking won!
Sadly the fat bird got on a different carriage but I'll get her next time.
You are David Mitchell from "peep-show" and I claim my £5.RtdRacer said:
We have a new Sainsburys in town. It has a new carpark, under the store itself. The row of spaces next to the entrance are all disabled spaces - very clearly marked. Except one - at the end, which doesn't have a disabled badge on it - I suspect because there isn't enough room on one side for the crosshatched extra door opening space. In other words, quite simply, it's not a disabled space.
Anyway, the other day I parked there for about 20 mins and then emerged with a couple of bags of shopping and my daughter. There's a parking attendant, looking smug, standing over my car. "Ah, there you are sir - good job you're here. I was about to give you a ticket."
"Really?" sez me.."What for? It's not a disabled spot."
"Yes it is sir, it's in the disabled row." she replied.
"No, really, it isn't - there's not disabled sign in the space." I said.
"I think you'll find they're all disabled spaces here sir, and it does have a sign." she replied.
"OK, let's see", and I jumped in and backed it half out of the space to reveal the empty rectangle.
"Oh. Well, that doesn't matter - it's still a disabled space."
I was quite amused at this point. "Sorry, but there's no disabled sign in it, probably because there's no extra room on this side? But that means it's not a disabled space."
"WEll sir, I think it is - but I won't give you a ticket this time." she said. "But I will contact the authorities and make sure a disabled sign is put in it."
"Super, " says I, "And at that point I will stop parking in it. But I don't think they will as it doesn't have space next to...whatever. Good day."
But I couldn't resist. I got in and backed my car up all the way round and leant out of the window and said "Hey, I bet this wouldn't have happened if I'd been in my crappy old Renault Laguna, would it?"
And then drove (with ironically, my disabled daughter with me) home in my shiny carpark attendant provoking car from the teutonic mills of Stuttgart. If you know what I mean. Must have made her day to find one of *them* in what she thought was an illegal spot.
Well, if she had given you a ticket, regardless of whether it was a disabled space or not, I'd have put it in my mouth, chewed it a little and spat it back at her.Anyway, the other day I parked there for about 20 mins and then emerged with a couple of bags of shopping and my daughter. There's a parking attendant, looking smug, standing over my car. "Ah, there you are sir - good job you're here. I was about to give you a ticket."
"Really?" sez me.."What for? It's not a disabled spot."
"Yes it is sir, it's in the disabled row." she replied.
"No, really, it isn't - there's not disabled sign in the space." I said.
"I think you'll find they're all disabled spaces here sir, and it does have a sign." she replied.
"OK, let's see", and I jumped in and backed it half out of the space to reveal the empty rectangle.
"Oh. Well, that doesn't matter - it's still a disabled space."
I was quite amused at this point. "Sorry, but there's no disabled sign in it, probably because there's no extra room on this side? But that means it's not a disabled space."
"WEll sir, I think it is - but I won't give you a ticket this time." she said. "But I will contact the authorities and make sure a disabled sign is put in it."
"Super, " says I, "And at that point I will stop parking in it. But I don't think they will as it doesn't have space next to...whatever. Good day."
But I couldn't resist. I got in and backed my car up all the way round and leant out of the window and said "Hey, I bet this wouldn't have happened if I'd been in my crappy old Renault Laguna, would it?"
And then drove (with ironically, my disabled daughter with me) home in my shiny carpark attendant provoking car from the teutonic mills of Stuttgart. If you know what I mean. Must have made her day to find one of *them* in what she thought was an illegal spot.
I was once awarded a ticket in a Sainsbury's car park (can't remember why). I simply removed it from my windscreen, found the parking warden and returned it to him unopened.
Nothing was ever done about it.
said: I recently parked my PORSCHE...
Prepare to engage envy mode... said: ...Cayenne
...envy mode stood down. Pity mode engaged. 
(but I got a giggle from your tale)
IainT said:
A few years ago the PH response would have been supportive of the OP and derisory of the parking minion.
It was all fine until he inexplicably assumed he was the victim of car-manufacturer prejudice. The final part of the story is what opened the lion's cage. 
Great Pretender said:
I was once awarded a ticket in a Sainsbury's car park (can't remember why). I simply removed it from my windscreen, found the parking warden and returned it to him unopened.
There was a letter in our local where a shopper was bemoaning being ticketed for taking up more than one space, the car park was allegedly not full at the time.Part of me thinks he shouldn't have been a lazy twunt and parked in a civilised manner but the other side is that it's all a bit unnecessary when there was plenty of room. The letter writer seemed to go out of his way to mention his car was a Merc and that it was probably petty jealousy that underpinned the ticket. This seemed to enrage the locals who, in an apparent fit of envy, promptly responded to the letter quite vociferously.
Great Pretender said:
You own a Porsche, ergo you are automatically deserving of everyone's furious envy.
Not really. I have no idea if it was a new 911 C4S or a 35 year old scrappy 914. It was the attitude that the OP thought his car made a difference to the traffic warden that made me think he had a small potato based fried product on his shoulder, and that he even needed to mention it...Gassing Station | General Gassing | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff