You Know You Want to: Mercedes S70 AMG
Little-known V12 AMG rarity tickles our pluto-barge tastebuds
So if you're going to ask AMG to do its thing with the 140 you're going to need an engine of equally Kohl-like proportions. Which is exactly what this one has got. Now, as someone who's been around the Mercedes block a few times, stumbling across an AMG I'd never heard of was exciting, but also a little upsetting. Nothing like having your supposed know-it-all status knocked out from under you by a 7.0-litre S-Class, eh?
But here it is. Yes, that's a 140 S-Class LWB on period colour-coded AMG split rims. Yes, that's a V12 badge on the C-pillar. And, yes, it's a '70' on the back, which in those days before downsizing smoke and mirrors equates to a fulsome seven litres and over 500hp of AMG goodness. Why didn't I know about this monster?
Well, in my defence the blurb accompanying the car - currently on display at Mercedes-Benz World in Brooklands - says just 112 were built between 1996 and 1998, all to special order. Based on long-wheelbase S600s (known as 600 SELs until 1993) and hence a V140, not a W140 (he's still got it!), the S70s use a slightly earlier version of the 7.3 that featured in later cars and the SLs and Zondas we mentioned just last week.Apparently some S73 versions did also get made. And now we have an AMG A-Class...
525hp and 186mph is enough to be going on with though, even in a barge as mighty in stature as the old S-Class. And an engine of that displacement is never going to leave you feeling ashamed if it comes to a mine's bigger than yours contest. As you'd expect it's fully kitted out too, with reclining rear seats, full Nappa leather (many posh cows were harmed in the making of this car) and the ultimate in pluto barge presence.
The only downside, other than not being able to hear that V12 through the double-glazed windows? It's not actually for sale. So even if you do know you want to you can't. You can, however, have this 1999 S600L for a smidge under £8K instead. Wonder if the AMG boys still have the tooling to bore it out?
MERCEDES-BENZ S70 AMG
Price: Not actually for sale, unfortunately
Why you should: The ultimate in pluto-barge one-upmanship
Why you shouldn't: Rare and this one ain't on the market
Cos, fick my old boots, it one ugly mutha!
Still, the old adage about not being able to see the outside when sat inside holds true, and with that lump under the bonnet the owner will be able to leave the tree-hugging, muesli-sandal wearing environmentalists behind in their Smart cars, safe in the knowledge that they are creating their own hole in the ozone layer. Probably.
As a youth I visited a friend of my fathers who lived in Switzerland. I don't recall much but he was an English guy who worked for Logica.
Anyhow he told me he was going to get a Ferrari (which impressed me) but got the Merc instead. I'd love to regale you with great tales but sadly it was a little unimpressive. It was fitted with obtrusive traction control so wasn't anything special Sorry...
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