One single thing that makes you think "knob" Vol 3
Discussion
Driving up a hill today, with parked cars aplenty, I was on the receiving end of quite a bit of courtesy. Some of it misplaced, but generally people doing their best to be helpful.
So I decided that I'd play the game, and not 'push it' passing parked cars on my side when there was oncoming traffic.
Cue the stupid Doris in milk-bottle glasses driving a Peugeot downhill toward me. She'd just set off from some traffic lights up ahead so was slow, but I came to a halt at the car parked on my side, fully expecting her to accelerate to somewhere in the region of "near the speed limit".
But no. Mrs Bloody Magoo trundled along at not much more than walking pace. Sadly I'd dallied too long to blast past the parked car and make the green light, because as she drew level the reason for her speed (or lack thereof) became abundantly clear. In her right hand, which was employed for steering too, she held some pale pastry product in a white paper bag (she'd just taken a big old bite out of it). In her left hand, which was held just below the dashboard trying to hide what she was doing, she had a smartphone.
No wonder your driving is so appalling you big fat fatty! You look like the sort of person who'd struggle to walk and chew gum at the same time, so filling your fat head whilst attempting to operate both a vehicle, and a hand held phone was clearly beyond you. But hey? It's got to be safe because you're well below the speed limit right?
It was school kicking-out time too. I really hope she wasn't about to fill the wretched car with kids, given the standard of her driving.
So I decided that I'd play the game, and not 'push it' passing parked cars on my side when there was oncoming traffic.
Cue the stupid Doris in milk-bottle glasses driving a Peugeot downhill toward me. She'd just set off from some traffic lights up ahead so was slow, but I came to a halt at the car parked on my side, fully expecting her to accelerate to somewhere in the region of "near the speed limit".
But no. Mrs Bloody Magoo trundled along at not much more than walking pace. Sadly I'd dallied too long to blast past the parked car and make the green light, because as she drew level the reason for her speed (or lack thereof) became abundantly clear. In her right hand, which was employed for steering too, she held some pale pastry product in a white paper bag (she'd just taken a big old bite out of it). In her left hand, which was held just below the dashboard trying to hide what she was doing, she had a smartphone.
No wonder your driving is so appalling you big fat fatty! You look like the sort of person who'd struggle to walk and chew gum at the same time, so filling your fat head whilst attempting to operate both a vehicle, and a hand held phone was clearly beyond you. But hey? It's got to be safe because you're well below the speed limit right?
It was school kicking-out time too. I really hope she wasn't about to fill the wretched car with kids, given the standard of her driving.
I'm going to have a guess and say dear Wonnie has an extended family tree with a penchant for French automobiles up here 
.
This morning it was a 307 convertible with no lights on behind me, I only saw him as he indicated right and a Modus, no indication and the use of the left lane to take the third exit on a roundabout (with a traditional ninety degree layout to the exits... barring the fourth one), nearly collected the Nissan van in front of me who thought he was going straight across.
. This morning it was a 307 convertible with no lights on behind me, I only saw him as he indicated right and a Modus, no indication and the use of the left lane to take the third exit on a roundabout (with a traditional ninety degree layout to the exits... barring the fourth one), nearly collected the Nissan van in front of me who thought he was going straight across.
The idiot in a Passat estate this morning on a 40mph dual carriageway, who decided to dive from lane 2 into lane 1 ahead of me BEFORE the car ahead of him had even completed his overtake. How the hell I didn't hit him, or he ram into the side of me, I'll never know.
Captain Impatient was hell-bent on making an "undertake" of the car that was "holding him up" in lane 2. This despite the fact that I was holding about 43/44mph and the car ahead of him was passing me.
Worse still, he'd left it so late that he ended up at the end of the longer lane 1 queue at the roundabout, so after coming to a complete halt for a second or two he decided to then pull back into lane 2 (two cars further back than if he'd stayed there in the first place!) from a standing start, causing a ripple of emergency braking by the still-moving cars already established in lane 2.
What a complete f
king halfwit you are, sir!!!
Captain Impatient was hell-bent on making an "undertake" of the car that was "holding him up" in lane 2. This despite the fact that I was holding about 43/44mph and the car ahead of him was passing me.
Worse still, he'd left it so late that he ended up at the end of the longer lane 1 queue at the roundabout, so after coming to a complete halt for a second or two he decided to then pull back into lane 2 (two cars further back than if he'd stayed there in the first place!) from a standing start, causing a ripple of emergency braking by the still-moving cars already established in lane 2.
What a complete f
king halfwit you are, sir!!! Promotional "Black Friday" adverts and posts everywhere.
1/ It's an American thing.
2/ I am a man and will do my festive shopping maybe two days beforehand and no sooner.
3/ Most of these "Black Friday" offers are old stock that needs to be cleared or will be reduced again anyway.
4/ Festive shopping is a waste of time. Asking people what they want in a months time is like asking a cow not to "Moo".
From a sociopolitical standpoint copy and paste this to any "Black Friday" advert you see on (anti)social media...
Just remember there are fifty one other Fridays a year and they are all just as important.
EveryFridayMatters
1/ It's an American thing.
2/ I am a man and will do my festive shopping maybe two days beforehand and no sooner.
3/ Most of these "Black Friday" offers are old stock that needs to be cleared or will be reduced again anyway.
4/ Festive shopping is a waste of time. Asking people what they want in a months time is like asking a cow not to "Moo".
From a sociopolitical standpoint copy and paste this to any "Black Friday" advert you see on (anti)social media...
Just remember there are fifty one other Fridays a year and they are all just as important.
EveryFridayMatters
http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/14922359.Car_towed_...
Police taking no action, it seems. Because she wasn't speeding, perhaps?
Police taking no action, it seems. Because she wasn't speeding, perhaps?
Conscript said:
Watched a lorry driver actively try and block traffic on a slip-road this morning in slow moving traffic. Utter berk.
I see this daily as I join the A14 at Godmanchester. I even make special effort not to try my luck and join at the very end of the sliproad but try to join in a reasonable fashion. Every other day I'll get some moron in a lorry who tries to drive 30cm from the lorry in front to block my joining, even if the road is stop start.Oh and a special mention to the van occupant (couldn't call him a driver) that pulled into the inside lane and up to the car now in front of him as we were on the M11, the reason I was gently slowing down was so that I matched the speed of the inside lane and could pull into the gap that you so capably filled. The reason I was pulling in was the very brightly painted vehicle with the flashing blue lights that was making the funny wailing noise that wanted to come past. You know the one that you then pulled out in front of and caused to brake.
Liquid Knight said:
Promotional "Black Friday" adverts and posts everywhere.
1/ It's an American thing.
2/ I am a man and will do my festive shopping maybe two days beforehand and no sooner.
3/ Most of these "Black Friday" offers are old stock that needs to be cleared or will be reduced again anyway.
4/ Festive shopping is a waste of time. Asking people what they want in a months time is like asking a cow not to "Moo".
From a sociopolitical standpoint copy and paste this to any "Black Friday" advert you see on (anti)social media...
Just remember there are fifty one other Fridays a year and they are all just as important.
EveryFridayMatters
If your looking to buy pc parts/consoles/games its actually really good value. Often hold off buying things I need as theres some stupidly large savings to be had.1/ It's an American thing.
2/ I am a man and will do my festive shopping maybe two days beforehand and no sooner.
3/ Most of these "Black Friday" offers are old stock that needs to be cleared or will be reduced again anyway.
4/ Festive shopping is a waste of time. Asking people what they want in a months time is like asking a cow not to "Moo".
From a sociopolitical standpoint copy and paste this to any "Black Friday" advert you see on (anti)social media...
Just remember there are fifty one other Fridays a year and they are all just as important.
EveryFridayMatters
Coming home the other night, approaching a roundabout that had the following lane marking
Approach lane 3 lanes 1 lh only, 2 middle lh and straight, 3 straight and rh
after the 'straight exit' the markings then become,at the lights controlling the junction. 1 lh and Straight, 2 middle straight and rh, 3 rh only.
Coming around i was placed to go into the lne marked straight and rh,(l2) and the was a range Rover straddling the white line between 2 and 3 signalling right. So i go up his inside still in l2 and get a lot of irate horn. lights change and he goes straight still with the RH indicator going ???????
Approach lane 3 lanes 1 lh only, 2 middle lh and straight, 3 straight and rh
after the 'straight exit' the markings then become,at the lights controlling the junction. 1 lh and Straight, 2 middle straight and rh, 3 rh only.
Coming around i was placed to go into the lne marked straight and rh,(l2) and the was a range Rover straddling the white line between 2 and 3 signalling right. So i go up his inside still in l2 and get a lot of irate horn. lights change and he goes straight still with the RH indicator going ???????
OpulentBob said:
irate hornMy mrs for dropping on me that we are going to see her folks tomorrow evening. In Cardiff. Or somewhere in Wales, it's all the f
king same. That's Essex to Wales at 4pm on a Friday. Yeah, thanks love. You dick. Cliftonite said:
http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/14922359.Car_towed_...
Police taking no action, it seems. Because she wasn't speeding, perhaps?
Newspaper states she HAS been reported. My cynical comment is therefore rescinded. Sorry for any offence caused!Police taking no action, it seems. Because she wasn't speeding, perhaps?
i work in manchester and so i read the manchester evening news, because a) it's often hilarious and b) it has useful local info such as traffic, events, restaurant openings etc. What it does report on an almost daily basis (genuinely) is st drivers driving onto tram tracks from the shared-use sections. It is at epidemic proportions.
t drivers driving onto tram tracks from the shared-use sections. It is at epidemic proportions. The cock sprocket on a push bike (Yes I am old)
https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@51.4275024,-2.56392...
So look at the map I am turning right where the black car is exactly where the black car is, if you zoom in you will see a pedestrian refuge to my left on it were 2 people and a cyclist. Not a kid or a casual one but one that wears Lycra (No happy with that description but it is accurate)
He drops off the refuge as I am where the black car is and then gives me verbal for being already there? To be fair my silver car with big bright lights and with a green light my side and a red on the refuge it is of course my fault.
Ah well we will get to see it in the bad riding thread later I suppose.
As my wife had the window down we could hear the pedestrians shouting "You nearly got killed you idiot"
https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@51.4275024,-2.56392...
So look at the map I am turning right where the black car is exactly where the black car is, if you zoom in you will see a pedestrian refuge to my left on it were 2 people and a cyclist. Not a kid or a casual one but one that wears Lycra (No happy with that description but it is accurate)
He drops off the refuge as I am where the black car is and then gives me verbal for being already there? To be fair my silver car with big bright lights and with a green light my side and a red on the refuge it is of course my fault.
Ah well we will get to see it in the bad riding thread later I suppose.
As my wife had the window down we could hear the pedestrians shouting "You nearly got killed you idiot"
Cliftonite said:
http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/14922359.Car_towed_...
Police taking no action, it seems. Because she wasn't speeding, perhaps?
It Is a very frustrating level crossing, with stupid traffic lights surrounding it, but then, that's crawley for you. Police taking no action, it seems. Because she wasn't speeding, perhaps?
My frustration today - people who can't manoeuvre themselves to a Petrol pump properly and thus prevent other people from driving past them and clearing the forecourt whilst they complete their weeks shop in the Tesco shop attached.
Idiots dawdling EVERYWHERE yet again;
Plonker in a Qashqai doing 25 mph on a 60 country road, with a tailback of traffic behind and the people at the back of the queue risking being rear ended.
Knob in a Qashqai (notice a theme here?) on the MW, plonked in L3 doing 45 being undertaken by traffic in L1 AND L2.
Idiot in some sort of white hideous new volvo estate thing doing 20 around town, throwing on the anchors for every street sign and gust of wind.
Finally, the tool in the VW Up who pulled out in front of me and then proceeded at circa 20 - minor inconvenience, but had they either 1) waited before pulling out or 2) pulled out and accelerated to keep up with traffic flow we would NOT have been held up by the notorious set of traffic lights for 5 mins due to YOUR DAWDLING - had you just maintained NORMAL speed, we'd have been through the lights!
4 DAWDLERS in the space of 20 minutes tonight!
Plonker in a Qashqai doing 25 mph on a 60 country road, with a tailback of traffic behind and the people at the back of the queue risking being rear ended.
Knob in a Qashqai (notice a theme here?) on the MW, plonked in L3 doing 45 being undertaken by traffic in L1 AND L2.
Idiot in some sort of white hideous new volvo estate thing doing 20 around town, throwing on the anchors for every street sign and gust of wind.
Finally, the tool in the VW Up who pulled out in front of me and then proceeded at circa 20 - minor inconvenience, but had they either 1) waited before pulling out or 2) pulled out and accelerated to keep up with traffic flow we would NOT have been held up by the notorious set of traffic lights for 5 mins due to YOUR DAWDLING - had you just maintained NORMAL speed, we'd have been through the lights!
4 DAWDLERS in the space of 20 minutes tonight!
Dawdlers.
Dawdling at 45mph.
On a lovely, straight bit of NSL backroad.
In an Aston.
Holding me up is easy, I like to press on, but the Panda-driver in front of me wasn't exactly Ari Vatanen even with nothing in front of him.
Is it possible to be so accustomed to driving an Aston that you don't beans it everywhere a gear or two too low just to hear the lovely noise? Or is it that this berk owns an Aston just because they can rather than because they should?
Made me think knob, anyway.
Cheers, Jim
Dawdling at 45mph.
On a lovely, straight bit of NSL backroad.
In an Aston.
Holding me up is easy, I like to press on, but the Panda-driver in front of me wasn't exactly Ari Vatanen even with nothing in front of him.
Is it possible to be so accustomed to driving an Aston that you don't beans it everywhere a gear or two too low just to hear the lovely noise? Or is it that this berk owns an Aston just because they can rather than because they should?
Made me think knob, anyway.
Cheers, Jim
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