One single thing that makes you think "knob" Vol 3

[Liquid Knight]

This morning was the usual Darwinism display of people operating vehicles in low light conditions, torrential rain, reduced visibility due to spray with no lights on whatsoever or ability to count as high as four.

I hate the idea of automated vehicles on the roads but it is the future and we need it now because some people are simply incapable of driving themselves.

But today I have been dealing with people replying to my car advert and the four stages of their process.

Oh this chap has a car for sale. I'll troll the car so I can make a ridiculously low offer so it looks like I'm doing him a favor.

Oh crap! He knows what he's on about and how much it's worth. I'll say I'll buy something else.

bks he know how crap they are and basically made me look stupid.

Now he won't sell it to me even if I offer full price because he knows I am a twunt.

[MorganP104]

InitialDave said:

eezeh said:

People that hold their phones to their chin are also knobs, imagining they are on "The Apprentice".

I see this a lot, people holding them horizontal in front of them like they're trying to blow dust off the screen, What's that all about, anyway?

I saw a friend of mine do this whilst in the car (to be fair, he was parked up at the time), and asked him why he was holding his phone like a slice of pizza he was about to eat.

His response, and I kid you not, was to tell me that since the law came in banning mobile phone use at the wheel, he always uses "handsfree mode" (referring to using speakerphone).

I just stood there, open-mouthed.

[mikey k]

MorganP104 said:

InitialDave said:

eezeh said:

People that hold their phones to their chin are also knobs, imagining they are on "The Apprentice".

I see this a lot, people holding them horizontal in front of them like they're trying to blow dust off the screen, What's that all about, anyway?

I saw a friend of mine do this whilst in the car (to be fair, he was parked up at the time), and asked him why he was holding his phone like a slice of pizza he was about to eat.

His response, and I kid you not, was to tell me that since the law came in banning mobile phone use at the wheel, he always uses "handsfree mode" (referring to using speakerphone).

I just stood there, open-mouthed.

Tell him to try it in front of a copper!

[nonsequitur]

mikey k said:

MorganP104 said:

InitialDave said:

eezeh said:

People that hold their phones to their chin are also knobs, imagining they are on "The Apprentice".

I see this a lot, people holding them horizontal in front of them like they're trying to blow dust off the screen, What's that all about, anyway?

I saw a friend of mine do this whilst in the car (to be fair, he was parked up at the time), and asked him why he was holding his phone like a slice of pizza he was about to eat.

His response, and I kid you not, was to tell me that since the law came in banning mobile phone use at the wheel, he always uses "handsfree mode" (referring to using speakerphone).

I just stood there, open-mouthed.

Tell him to try it in front of a copper!

Or even a police officer.

[Angrybiker]

nonsequitur said:

mikey k said:

MorganP104 said:

InitialDave said:

eezeh said:

People that hold their phones to their chin are also knobs, imagining they are on "The Apprentice".

I see this a lot, people holding them horizontal in front of them like they're trying to blow dust off the screen, What's that all about, anyway?

I saw a friend of mine do this whilst in the car (to be fair, he was parked up at the time), and asked him why he was holding his phone like a slice of pizza he was about to eat.

His response, and I kid you not, was to tell me that since the law came in banning mobile phone use at the wheel, he always uses "handsfree mode" (referring to using speakerphone).

I just stood there, open-mouthed.

Tell him to try it in front of a copper!

Or even a police officer.

No you'd get a better response from a copper

[MorganP104]

Angrybiker said:

nonsequitur said:

mikey k said:

MorganP104 said:

InitialDave said:

eezeh said:

People that hold their phones to their chin are also knobs, imagining they are on "The Apprentice".

I see this a lot, people holding them horizontal in front of them like they're trying to blow dust off the screen, What's that all about, anyway?

I saw a friend of mine do this whilst in the car (to be fair, he was parked up at the time), and asked him why he was holding his phone like a slice of pizza he was about to eat.

His response, and I kid you not, was to tell me that since the law came in banning mobile phone use at the wheel, he always uses "handsfree mode" (referring to using speakerphone).

I just stood there, open-mouthed.

Tell him to try it in front of a copper!

Or even a police officer.

No you'd get a better response from a copper

I think you're both wrong. He should try it in front of the old bill, and see what happens.

[matchmaker]

Angrybiker said:

nonsequitur said:

mikey k said:

MorganP104 said:

InitialDave said:

eezeh said:

People that hold their phones to their chin are also knobs, imagining they are on "The Apprentice".

I see this a lot, people holding them horizontal in front of them like they're trying to blow dust off the screen, What's that all about, anyway?

I saw a friend of mine do this whilst in the car (to be fair, he was parked up at the time), and asked him why he was holding his phone like a slice of pizza he was about to eat.

His response, and I kid you not, was to tell me that since the law came in banning mobile phone use at the wheel, he always uses "handsfree mode" (referring to using speakerphone).

I just stood there, open-mouthed.

Tell him to try it in front of a copper!

Or even a police officer.

No you'd get a better response from a copper

Don't you mean a peeler?

[Tyre Tread]

matchmaker said:

Angrybiker said:

nonsequitur said:

mikey k said:

MorganP104 said:

InitialDave said:

eezeh said:

People that hold their phones to their chin are also knobs, imagining they are on "The Apprentice".

I see this a lot, people holding them horizontal in front of them like they're trying to blow dust off the screen, What's that all about, anyway?

I saw a friend of mine do this whilst in the car (to be fair, he was parked up at the time), and asked him why he was holding his phone like a slice of pizza he was about to eat.

His response, and I kid you not, was to tell me that since the law came in banning mobile phone use at the wheel, he always uses "handsfree mode" (referring to using speakerphone).

I just stood there, open-mouthed.

Tell him to try it in front of a copper!

Or even a police officer.

No you'd get a better response from a copper

Don't you mean a peeler?

THis could take a while: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_police-relat...

[mistakenplane]

Most people last night. Yes it was wet, yes its been dry for ages, yes there was spray, NO you don't have to drive slowly in the outside lane therefore stopping any progress of traffic and creating bottlenecks.

Just move the fk over and stop being an extra hazard!

[Veryoldbear]

mistakenplane said:

Most people last night. Yes it was wet, yes its been dry for ages, yes there was spray, NO you don't have to drive slowly in the outside lane therefore stopping any progress of traffic and creating bottlenecks.

Just move the fk over and stop being an extra hazard!

Ooh it was horrible last night (M27 / M3 / A34). There was a lot of middle laning going on, including ones who suddenly slowed if there was a risk of their car getting wet

[Rich_W]

InitialDave said:

eezeh said:

People that hold their phones to their chin are also knobs, imagining they are on "The Apprentice".

I see this a lot, people holding them horizontal in front of them like they're trying to blow dust off the screen, What's that all about, anyway?

When a woman is mad on the phone, she doesn't want to hear anything from her target

[RAFsmoggy]

Blown2CV said:

ah that old classic "i've got nothing else to add" comment of number of posts, seasoned with "get a life", well that's some inspired stuff. It's an internet forum and if that's sad then guess fking what - you're on it too. Also this is coming from the bloke who only ever started one topic, which was about Brexit and got one reply. Not sure this is really your bag is it.

Hmm not sure its yous either , you tetchy little thing Lol

[Blown2CV]

RAFsmoggy said:

Blown2CV said:

ah that old classic "i've got nothing else to add" comment of number of posts, seasoned with "get a life", well that's some inspired stuff. It's an internet forum and if that's sad then guess fking what - you're on it too. Also this is coming from the bloke who only ever started one topic, which was about Brexit and got one reply. Not sure this is really your bag is it.

Hmm not sure its yous either , you tetchy little thing Lol

well seeing as you came into this thread to specifically comment about my by name, and you are now following me around other threads and making little comments deliberately designed to piss me off, i have reported you to the mods for harrassment. Not taking this st, and it's absolutely not what this place is meant to be about. Oh no poor snowflake me! Hopefully I will survive. Tata.

[Liquid Knight]

Facebook have removed my for sale post on a track day page as it...

"Displays images of excessive speed".

...I never knew speeding on a race track was an issue.

When you consider Turkish soldiers being burned alive, decapitations, child pornography, extreme animal cruelty, Nazism, radicalisation hate speech and other vile stuff is within the Facebook community standards it has to make you think knob.

[lucido grigio]

Reason #155 why I wont use Faecesbook ^^^^^^.

Anyhow......people who shout out their car window at pedestrians minding their own business....ie me.

Just STFU ,leave me alone and grow up.....

Edited by lucido grigio on Saturday 1st July 21:42

[jjohnson23]

Driving off from a fuel stop in the tr7 and having the car kangaroo to a stop amid a cloud of diesel smoke and fumes.
Its the third time I have done it in 12 months.What bothers me is that I have had it for nearly 8 years now and had a diesel as my daily for twenty!

[schmalex]

Saying or writing "Anyhoo" (or any other variant of).

Edited by schmalex on Saturday 1st July 21:44

[knitware]

I'm travelling along a 40mph road and a junction is is approaching ahead on the left, a minor road. I see a car arrive at the junction he stops at the give way, see's me and pulls out, I have to break so I flash my lights. He breaks and stops the car flapping his arms around, I stop and I hoot until he moves off. He gets going and I follow to 30 mph, we get to a set of lights which are on red, he stops and then goes through the red whilst cars are going through on the green. I have no idea if he was drunk or just a knob.

[Tyre Tread]

knitware said:

I'm travelling along a 40mph road and a junction is is approaching ahead on the left, a minor road. I see a car arrive at the junction he stops at the give way, see's me and pulls out, I have to break so I flash my lights. He breaks and stops the car flapping his arms around, I stop and I hoot until he moves off. He gets going and I follow to 30 mph, we get to a set of lights which are on red, he stops and then goes through the red whilst cars are going through on the green. I have no idea if he was drunk or just a knob.

What did you break? What did he break?

[anonymous-user]

lucido grigio said:

Reason #155 why I wont use Faecesbook ^^^^^^.

Anyhow......people who shout out their car window at pedestrians minding their own business....ie me.

Just STFU ,leave me alone and grow up.....

Edited by lucido grigio on Saturday 1st July 21:42

Or hooting their horns and laughing as you walk past them in a car park. Knobs.
They're going to do that to the wrong person one day and get the st kicked out of them.