Stupid things non petrolheads say... Vol 2

[Shakermaker]

Listening to a work colleague:

Over the time I have known him, I've got to know of his passion for F1, his love of big-power Japanese cars and so forth.

The other day, he was looking forward to showing me his new car, which he has got through our work scheme. So it is only a dull-ish 1.6 litre diesel Kia, I think an Optima. He's happy

But then he drops this bomb on me, and everything I thought I knew of him before was instantly taken away:

"Well I can tell you I won't be using the sport button again because I pressed it on the way to work and all of a sudden I was doing 120mph!"

?????

[Rawwr]

Trabi601 said:

ChevronB19 said:

So the fact that a kid confused car a for car b when you were shopping for car c made you buy car d? Interesting logic.

Yeah, don't get that, especially when you consider that a 986 is virtually indistinguishable from a 911 from the front.

And that the back of a 986 is virtually indistinguishable from the front of a 986

[Bluedot]

Shakermaker said:

Listening to a work colleague:

Over the time I have known him, I've got to know of his passion for F1, his love of big-power Japanese cars and so forth.

The other day, he was looking forward to showing me his new car, which he has got through our work scheme. So it is only a dull-ish 1.6 litre diesel Kia, I think an Optima. He's happy

But then he drops this bomb on me, and everything I thought I knew of him before was instantly taken away:

"Well I can tell you I won't be using the sport button again because I pressed it on the way to work and all of a sudden I was doing 120mph!"

?????

Maybe it's something Kia have been keeping quietly to themselves and those 'in the know' ?

[KevinCamaroSS]

Blown2CV said:

blueg33 said:

Tyre Tread said:

stacy.chandler77 said:

I didn' want to say my 300c CRD had 420n/m of torque and get embroiled in an argument with a guy in a Hosea civic, haha

Apart from a 0-60 in 5 seconds and 320bhp from a Merc V6 turbo diesel and 155 mph top speed like most European cars, oh and 45-49mpg, I'm bowing out safe in the knowledge I am a true petrol head as I own an Alfasud and many other Alfa Romeos over the years. That's the Jeremy Clarkson benchmark for being a true undisputed petrolhead lol

Erm: http://www.parkers.co.uk/chrysler/300c/saloon-2005...

Seems the thread title may be apt.

That was exactly my thought. Quoting performance figures from the V8 for the diesel. Didn't even get the BHP of the diesel correct. Even remapped to the BHP he stated it still wouldn't hot those performance figures

Massive Petrolhead Fail that was bound to be found out quickly

Edited by blueg33 on Monday 1st May 09:44

yea 7.4 seconds on investigation.

Indeed, mind you Parkers do not have it correct either. The SRT was the V8 model, not a trim level on the 3.0 CRD.......

The 3.0 CRD engine is the same as in my WK series Grand Cherokee, 215 bhp.

[InductionRoar]

Shakermaker said:

Listening to a work colleague:

Over the time I have known him, I've got to know of his passion for F1, his love of big-power Japanese cars and so forth.

The other day, he was looking forward to showing me his new car, which he has got through our work scheme. So it is only a dull-ish 1.6 litre diesel Kia, I think an Optima. He's happy

But then he drops this bomb on me, and everything I thought I knew of him before was instantly taken away:

"Well I can tell you I won't be using the sport button again because I pressed it on the way to work and all of a sudden I was doing 120mph!"

?????

I want one of those buttons.

[Dagnir]

Sillyhatday said:

VetteEd said:

Recently purchased a C7 Corvette; to which people comment "I bet you don't get many miles to gallon in that" My reply goes something like... "Your right I don't" Quite funny looking at peoples faces when I say that.

I forgot about that one. Used it before myself (not about a corvette though)

?

[Dagnir]

Shakermaker said:

Listening to a work colleague:

Over the time I have known him, I've got to know of his passion for F1, his love of big-power Japanese cars and so forth.

The other day, he was looking forward to showing me his new car, which he has got through our work scheme. So it is only a dull-ish 1.6 litre diesel Kia, I think an Optima. He's happy

But then he drops this bomb on me, and everything I thought I knew of him before was instantly taken away:

"Well I can tell you I won't be using the sport button again because I pressed it on the way to work and all of a sudden I was doing 120mph!"

?????

How do you guys react when someone says something like this?

Smile and nod? Laugh it off? Look confused?

Both parties know that it's utter tripe, so how do you make it not awkward?

[rainmakerraw]

Dagnir said:

Shakermaker said:

Listening to a work colleague:

Over the time I have known him, I've got to know of his passion for F1, his love of big-power Japanese cars and so forth.

The other day, he was looking forward to showing me his new car, which he has got through our work scheme. So it is only a dull-ish 1.6 litre diesel Kia, I think an Optima. He's happy

But then he drops this bomb on me, and everything I thought I knew of him before was instantly taken away:

"Well I can tell you I won't be using the sport button again because I pressed it on the way to work and all of a sudden I was doing 120mph!"

?????

How do you guys react when someone says something like this?

Smile and nod? Laugh it off? Look confused?

Both parties know that it's utter tripe, so how do you make it not awkward?

Why would you want to make it 'not awkward'? I tend to listen with a wry smile and a half cocked eyebrow. You can usually hear them slowly deflating and trailing off as they realise you're not believing a word of it. When they finally shut up, just reply 'Oh, right' and change the subject. They don't tend to try to chat nonsense to you again.

[Cotty]

Dagnir said:

?

Is this a new thing on PH, quoting someone and adding a question mark, I don't get it what purpose does it serve? if you want to ask a question, then ask it. Just putting a question mark is pointless as no one knows how to respond

[bad company]

Cotty said:

Dagnir said:

?

Is this a new thing on PH, quoting someone and adding a question mark, I don't get it what purpose does it serve? if you want to ask a question, then ask it. Just putting a question mark is pointless as no one knows how to respond

?

[MorganP104]

Shakermaker said:

Listening to a work colleague:

Over the time I have known him, I've got to know of his passion for F1, his love of big-power Japanese cars and so forth.

The other day, he was looking forward to showing me his new car, which he has got through our work scheme. So it is only a dull-ish 1.6 litre diesel Kia, I think an Optima. He's happy

But then he drops this bomb on me, and everything I thought I knew of him before was instantly taken away:

"Well I can tell you I won't be using the sport button again because I pressed it on the way to work and all of a sudden I was doing 120mph!"

?????

Not that I am defending the chap (I don't even know him!), but if the car is an automatic, and the gearbox has a sport mode, and that sport mode holds onto each gear for a bit longer, he MIGHT have experienced a higher rate of acceleration relative to throttle position than he would otherwise have in "normal" or "comfort" mode (or whatever it's called in a Kia).

I will admit this is clutching at straws, and even with all the above conditions met, he certainly wouldn't have got up to 120mph in a 1.6 CRDi without realising it!

[Shakermaker]

MorganP104 said:

Shakermaker said:

Listening to a work colleague:

Over the time I have known him, I've got to know of his passion for F1, his love of big-power Japanese cars and so forth.

The other day, he was looking forward to showing me his new car, which he has got through our work scheme. So it is only a dull-ish 1.6 litre diesel Kia, I think an Optima. He's happy

But then he drops this bomb on me, and everything I thought I knew of him before was instantly taken away:

"Well I can tell you I won't be using the sport button again because I pressed it on the way to work and all of a sudden I was doing 120mph!"

?????

Not that I am defending the chap (I don't even know him!), but if the car is an automatic, and the gearbox has a sport mode, and that sport mode holds onto each gear for a bit longer, he MIGHT have experienced a higher rate of acceleration relative to throttle position than he would otherwise have in "normal" or "comfort" mode (or whatever it's called in a Kia).

I will admit this is clutching at straws, and even with all the above conditions met, he certainly wouldn't have got up to 120mph in a 1.6 CRDi without realising it!

Very much clutching at straws there buddy...

[InitialDave]

Is he looking at the kph markings?

[IanCress]

In fact, did the sport button say MPH / KPH on it?

I have one in my Civic, and when I press this sport button, I immediately go from 62 to 100 in an instant. Don't understand why more cars don't have them, I get everywhere so much quicker.

[Shakermaker]

IanCress said:

In fact, did the sport button say MPH / KPH on it?

I have one in my Civic, and when I press this sport button, I immediately go from 62 to 100 in an instant. Don't understand why more cars don't have them, I get everywhere so much quicker.

You might be right, of that I have no idea. I also don't really want to find out because that would mean either getting in the car with said colleague, or, having to talk to him about his Kia. I'd really rather not do either if I can avoid it.

[Flibble]

MorganP104 said:

Not that I am defending the chap (I don't even know him!), but if the car is an automatic, and the gearbox has a sport mode, and that sport mode holds onto each gear for a bit longer, he MIGHT have experienced a higher rate of acceleration relative to throttle position than he would otherwise have in "normal" or "comfort" mode (or whatever it's called in a Kia).

I will admit this is clutching at straws, and even with all the above conditions met, he certainly wouldn't have got up to 120mph in a 1.6 CRDi without realising it!

Given the top speed is only just above 120 mph, I think he'd very much know about it, as he'd be looking at a few minutes with the throttle pinned to get there.

[jkh112]

KevinCamaroSS said:

Indeed, mind you Parkers do not have it correct either. The SRT was the V8 model, not a trim level on the 3.0 CRD.......

I think that the V8 model was called the SRT8 and the trim level on the CRD was called the SRT-design.

[OddCat]

VetteEd said:

Recently purchased a C7 Corvette; to which people comment "I bet you don't get many miles to gallon in that" My reply goes something like... "Your right I don't" Quite funny looking at peoples faces when I say that.

I was eating a bag of chips the other day and a bloke came up to me and said "I bet you're enjoying those chips" and I said "you're right I am". His face was a picture...

[Blown2CV]

Cotty said:

Dagnir said:

?

Is this a new thing on PH, quoting someone and adding a question mark, I don't get it what purpose does it serve? if you want to ask a question, then ask it. Just putting a question mark is pointless as no one knows how to respond

i think it just means that someone has literally no fking clue what they are on about. Not really a new concept.

[lucido grigio]

I read possibly the most ridiculous question ever in Honest John's column earlier.

Q......If there is a nuclear war in Korea,will Kia have enough spares in Europe and will they honour the 7 year warranty ? Should I avoid buying their cars ?