Stupid things non petrolheads say... Vol 2

[anonymous-user]

OddCat said:

Blown2CV said:

OddCat said:

Blown2CV said:

Cotty said:

Blown2CV said:

not so. If it happened then we'd all be back to the third world! At least...

You mean the stone age, an EMP would fry anything electrical

yes, but that would have made a 12% less hilarious quip.

.......I think 'hilarious' might be pushing it a bit.....

i was being self-deprecating. Not really on the ball you lot are you?

You are indeed a shining wit. Or is that whining..............oh, never mind.

Ladies, handbags.

A chap at work claimed they fitted the wrong engine to his ford C max, even more surprising is it's a Sierra cosworth block, I didn't even know ford stocked those blocks in there factory.
(ohh wait they never did......)

[Joeguard1990]

Rory J said:

The service department at my local BMW dealership tried to tell me that my E46 M3 wasn't covered under the 12 year bodywork warranty as it was built in 1995!

I don't get it...? Surely bodywork warranty applies to when the car came out the factory and not when it was registered?

Then I googled when E46 M3 were made.

Edited by Joeguard1990 on Tuesday 23 May 17:28

[Adamxck]

Joeguard1990 said:

I don't get it...? Surely bodywork warranty applies to when the car came out the factory and not when it was registered?

Production for the E46 M3 started in 2000.

Then you beat me to it.

[CanAm]

Slow said:

I agree, E numbers make complete sence for quickly letting you know the shape in particular, same for the Merc W numbers (dont know them very well though as more of a bmw fan)

For those of us who don't know the factory code numbers for these German cars, Mark 2 etc always worked well enough. Or the American way of using Model Year.

[Trabi601]

CanAm said:

For those of us who don't know the factory code numbers for these German cars, Mark 2 etc always worked well enough. Or the American way of using Model Year.

I have no idea what 'mark' my 5 series is. But I do know it's an F10. I think it's a Mk5. But I am probably wrong.

[Jimmy Recard]

CanAm said:

For those of us who don't know the factory code numbers for these German cars, Mark 2 etc always worked well enough. Or the American way of using Model Year.

I can follow the BMW ones reasonably well if I have to, I know a few of the Mercedes ones but I cannot follow Honda ones at all.

Vauxhall/Opel are a little annoying too in that a Vauxhall Nova is an Opel Corsa therefore the Nova is the Corsa A, but at least Corsa A, B, C, D etc is very straightforward and easy to follow

Golf mk1, mk2, mk3, mk4...now that I can live with.

[bad company]

DeltaTango said:

bad company said:

zeDuffMan said:

bad company said:

'E' numbers mean little to many people including me though a manufacturer's service centre should do better.

E/G model numbers should be reserved for BMW staff, blokes in anoraks and those still living with their mums imo.

When you're talking cars it's the quickest way to explain which model you're referring to, hence their use on a motoring forum.

What colour anorak do you wear?

How many areas of the website are you going to make this same comment?! You really are bad company.

This one and the BMW forum. Anywhere else you think I should comment?

Seriously there must be a better way which means something to normal folk. As someone mentioned above mark 1, 2, 3 etc., worked better.

Edited by bad company on Tuesday 23 May 19:45

[Somewhatfoolish]

Sycamore said:

Also, similarly aged guy to me (22) at work was explaining how he thinks his car is RWD because it corners really well.

A Pug 206 is renowned for it's tail-happy nature after all..

Had something very similar at my work place, heard all about someone's RWD Golf GTI. I did in fact challenge them on this, and some googling later they agreed it wasn't, but had thought it was RWD "because it went sideways in the snow"

[The Mad Monk]

Sycamore said:

DuraAce said:

Sycamore said:

Also, similarly aged guy to me (22) at work was explaining how he thinks his car is RWD because it corners really well.

Don't you pull him up on this? I wouldn't have been able to resist!

I'd love to but there's an unwritten rule that no one pulls him on it as he comes out with some great comments here and there.

He told our new admin girl (unbeknownst to him, my girlfriend) that his car is pushing 300bhp/t like a Porsche, because he'd taken the rear seats out

Unbeknownst!

As one goes through life, one discovers so many previously unbeknownst facts.

[bad company]

zeDuffMan said:

bad company said:

This one and the BMW forum. Anywhere else you think I should comment?

Seriously there must be a better way which means something to normal folk. As someone mentioned above mark 1, 2, 3 etc., worked better.

It's just different. BMWs system narrows it right down to the body style - coupe, saloon, cab, estate all have different numbers. If you don't care for them then that's fair enough, but to criticise people who do is a bit stty.

Not 'stty' at all matey, just a bit of a leg pull.

[InitialDave]

zeDuffMan said:

It's not like you need a degree in order to remember them. Just a passing interest in the cars is all you need to pick them up without trying.

I tend to refer to the older ones by chassis codes, because I know/recognise them as that, but a lot of the newer ones I don't know what they are, and to be honest, I'm not interested enough in the cars to be that bothered.

So I know what an E21, E30, E36 and E46 are, and "think" in those terms with them, but after that... Is that an E90? or is that one an E91? Wait, no, it's newer, so if that F-something now? Ah, sod it, I can't be bothered, I'll just call those a 3-series...

[Benjo42]

Jimmy Recard said:

CanAm said:

For those of us who don't know the factory code numbers for these German cars, Mark 2 etc always worked well enough. Or the American way of using Model Year.

I can follow the BMW ones reasonably well if I have to, I know a few of the Mercedes ones but I cannot follow Honda ones at all.

Vauxhall/Opel are a little annoying too in that a Vauxhall Nova is an Opel Corsa therefore the Nova is the Corsa A, but at least Corsa A, B, C, D etc is very straightforward and easy to follow

Golf mk1, mk2, mk3, mk4...now that I can live with.

Suzukis used to follow k1, k2, etc which correlated to the year of manufacture. 2001 was a k1, 2002, k2 etc. seems a bit pointless unless you register a bike in a different year to its manufacture.

After a brief obsession with Micra K12 'sports', having thought that the 350SR was the mostest awesomest thing i'd ever seen, I came to realise that the K numbers didn't follow suit in the same manor. they just increment a digit up as a new model comes out every few years. K10 being the first and boxiest one. Latest being the K14 that has no obvious design links to the previous generations.

Ah, nice weather now. gonna remove my pack-a-mac. Also, I'm half Indian, and I no longer like Micras and have never liked Nissan Bluebirds. I'm a classic Alfa fan, but the other half isn't Italian.

[steveL98]

My C4 Corvette at a car show..

"..Corvettes are only fast as they're plastic and very light."
"..its mid engined, that's why its so loud."
"..of course it's only a show car, it wouldn't be legal on the road with such wide tyres and all that noise."

and the one that really p*ss*d me off after driving 500miles to join a CCCUK event at Goodwood years ago.. "..is this your C4, mate? Not looking too bad for an entry level Corvette, eh?"


A mate had his deuce at a show and while he was sitting in it, a guy with his girl in tow rapped on the roof saying to her "..see that? That's real steel!"
Mate jumps out of the deuce, headlocks the guy and raps on his head saying "..see that? That's real wood!"

[ChemicalChaos]

A very sweet but utterly clueless about motoring girl in my halls was telling me how she is struggling to learn to drive at the minute.
Firstly she said how she could never remember whether the "ABC - accelerate brake clutch" applied from left to right or right to left, so she kept getting the "go" and "stop" mixed up. She looked like she had a revelation when I pointed out that that it didn't matter because the brake was always in the middle...

She then went on to say that her boyfriend had put water in her car recently, and that she didn't know that cars needed water. Maybe it's just me applying petrol head standards to everyone but I was surprised that some people don't know that cars are water cooled - especially as it's part of the driving test static questions.

[Antony Moxey]

Why are you overtaking, you won't get there any quicker you know.

Yes, well done love, superb logic there...

[romeogolf]

ChemicalChaos said:

A very sweet but utterly clueless about motoring girl in my halls was telling me how she is struggling to learn to drive at the minute.
Firstly she said how she could never remember whether the "ABC - accelerate brake clutch" applied from left to right or right to left, so she kept getting the "go" and "stop" mixed up. She looked like she had a revelation when I pointed out that that it didn't matter because the brake was always in the middle...

She then went on to say that her boyfriend had put water in her car recently, and that she didn't know that cars needed water. Maybe it's just me applying petrol head standards to everyone but I was surprised that some people don't know that cars are water cooled - especially as it's part of the driving test static questions.

Someone I worked with ten years ago once said "I'm not being funny, right, but cars have three pedals and I've only got two feet. How the hell does that work?"

[Moonpie21]

A self confessed "petrolhead" asked me about my new car:

"Ah I looked at the Merc A45, is that diesel?"

[Paul_M3]

A girl I know introduced me to her new boyfriend a couple of weeks ago in the pub.

She'd told him I'd got an R8 as she'd seen something on facebook.

Him: I'd love to go for a spin sometime. An R8 is my dream car.
Me: Err..yeah, I'm sure we can sort something out.
Him: Is yours a petrol or a diesel?

[bad company]

I had tyre blow out on my Ferrari 355 Spider on a Sunday afternoon in Kent. I called 'Ferrari Assistance', the first question was is it petrol or diesel !!! She then asked if it was manual or automatic - who cares replied I, it's got a F*****G puncture.

Anyway she then said she would send a technician so I asked to make sure he brings a low loader to take the car home for me. No she was having none of that. Apparently the car has to be inspected for roadside repair before towing can be considered. I tried to explain that there was a large hole in a tyre but she really was only interested in reading from her script.

Eventually I did manage to persuade her to ask the technician to call me before setting off which he did. I explained the situation and he arrived with a low loader.

Ferrari Assistance?? Hmmmmm.

[ChemicalChaos]

bad company said:

I had tyre blow out on my Ferrari 355 Spider on a Sunday afternoon in Kent. I called 'Ferrari Assistance', the first question was is it petrol or diesel !!! She then asked if it was manual or automatic - who cares replied I, it's got a F*****G puncture.

Anyway she then said she would send a technician so I asked to make sure he brings a low loader to take the car home for me. No she was having none of that. Apparently the car has to be inspected for roadside repair before towing can be considered. I tried to explain that there was a large hole in a tyre but she really was only interested in reading from her script.

Eventually I did manage to persuade her to ask the technician to call me before setting off which he did. I explained the situation and he arrived with a low loader.

Ferrari Assistance?? Hmmmmm.

Sounds very much like Fiat generic assistance to me