Does anybody know how tall Chris Goffey is ?

[CS Garth]

EnglishTony said:

Thee phase of the moon effects his height but inversely, IE he is at his shortest at spring tides.

You can also deduct several inches from his 1970's height to account for the use of platform shoes

One would have thought that he would have been taller at Spring tide due to the enhanced gravitational pull. To find out he is in fact SHORTER is again classic Goffey. He's his own man is Chris and doesn't kow tow to the usual laws of centripetal or gravitational force. Which goes to show what an enigma he is. Again.

[CS Garth]

Hyde said:

If Clarkson is approx 6ft 4", then Chris Goffey appears to be about 3ft 2"

That's actually a fake Chris - like one of those rubber head and shoulders up pilots you use for radio controlled planes. Likewise berry. They were actually on the lash with Christopher biggins and Timothy claypole when that photo was taken - I swear down Chris has 12 pints of directors, made an airfix 1:24 spitfire and then no word of a lie presented a crook lock special segment as if he was stone cold sober

[talksthetorque]

If you laid all the Chris Goffeys on earth end to end, they would wonder what the hell you were playing at.

[helix402]

Who is the chap on the bottom left?

[EnglishTony]

helix402 said:

Who is the chap on the bottom left?

He was pecifically employed by the BBC to look after Clarkson's trousers which were known to cause problems

[helix402]

EnglishTony said:

He was pecifically employed by the BBC to look after Clarkson's trousers which were known to cause problems

I can understand the problem trousers, I can't understand pecificallly? Is it a 1980s BBC term, perhaps Jimi Saville had one?

[BugLebowski]

helix402 said:

What's Jeremy Corbyn got to do with all this?

[J4CKO]

I can confirm that Mr Goffey is exactly 1.07 Woolards high, or, in imperial, 2.1 Masons, my brother in law works in the props department at the BBC and found him in a box with Hamble, Little Ted and Bagpuss, apparently in hiding since his son turned Supergrass.

[helix402]

[EnglishTony]

helix402 said:

EnglishTony said:

He was pecifically employed by the BBC to look after Clarkson's trousers which were known to cause problems

I can understand the problem trousers, I can't understand pecificallly? Is it a 1980s BBC term, perhaps Jimi Saville had one?

You can choose between "Well done. I was wondering who would spot that first" ; "It's not my fault my keyboard hates me" ; or " it's a special term describing the muscle group needed to deal with the trousers "

I'm going with option 2 but don't let me try to influence you

[Fresh Prince]

I've just spoken to him. As soon as he's finished with his tax return he'll be on here to put us out of our misery.

[SimonTheSailor]

sugarytea said:

I got slightly bored after needing to fill up my wine glass. Not sure what relevance this has at all either way.

Well his head seems a little bigger than the torso so he must be bigger than the Stig ?

Which Stig is it ?

[PAUL500]

The Goffey is a unit of measure which originates from Medieval times, and was used to calculate the inside leg lengths of the suits of armour worn by members of King Arthurs round table. One Goffey was needed for every Cleese.

Often confused with a Hales, which was actually a unit of currency until it was cancelled out by a single Piper.

[CS Garth]

It's only 4 days into the new tax year and he's nailing his return. The man's a genius! I'd be surprised if Jason Dawes managed his Simplified vat return without extensive support.

Again - proof if proof were needed of the enigma that is the Goffmeister

Chris Chris Chris - come on you legend.....

[SimonTheSailor]

Hyde said:

If Clarkson is approx 6ft 4", then Chris Goffey appears to be about 3ft 2"

I never realised Clarkson was an amputee ? Maybe he said something to Goffey about his road tests ?

Are you sure we want to mess with this f*cker ??

[Vocal Minority]

helix402 said:

Who is the chap on the bottom left?

Steve Berry.

He's about the same height as Goffey

[CS Garth]

Vocal Minority said:

helix402 said:

Who is the chap on the bottom left?

Steve Berry.

He's about the same height as Goffey

No chance he is way shorter, gets it from his mum Mary (and his, errrr, dad, Nick)

[Dapster]

Hyde said:

If Clarkson is approx 6ft 4", then Chris Goffey appears to be about 3ft 2"

Is it just me or would an '80's Michelle Newman totally get it?

[Gary29]

Dapster said:

Is it just me or would an '80's Michelle Newman totally get it?

Is she the slightly 'portly' one in the middle? If so, yes.

[dobly]

Van Goffey.

Bedford, Transit or Luton?