Tuesday 10th May 2016

Alfa Romeo Stelvio SUV spy shots

And the award for the ugliest test mule ever goes to...

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'Alfa Romeo to build SUV' probably won't be the most surprising news you've heard of late. Full disclosure and all that, we don't really have a whole lot of info to share on it either.

Nope, motivations for writing a few words on it basically stem from wanting to post these pictures of perhaps the most spectacular example of fuglified test mule camo ever. There are two schools of thought when it comes to this really; the hiding in plain sight route taken by Mercedes with the camo-free 'short-wheelbase' S-Class Coupe that may or may not be hiding the next generation SL.

Or Alfa Romeo's example with this beastie, which seems to have been swaddled in (still full) bin bags from out the back of the factory canteen, wrapped in enough Gaffa tape to reach from Milan to the Nurburgring test venue and then 'gifted' a weird box-like structure on the back for good measure. The improvised hub caps are especially last minute/half arsed even by the standards of the rest of the ensemble. All that effort and it does nothing to conceal a sloped tailgate and proportions from the X4/GLE Coupe/F-Pace end of the sporty SUV spectrum. Or a Giulia-influenced front end of squinty lights either side of the traditional heart-shaped Alfa grille. All as you'd expect really.

So that's it really. Alfa Romeo to make SUV. And it can only look better than this.

[Photos: S. Baldauf/SB-Medien]

[Evilex]

Hmm.
Uglier than a Multipla! That takes some doing.

And I'm going to take issue with the name, too.
The Stelvio is renowned for being full of er... Bendy bits.
Bendy bits are not where SUVs traditionally excel. Maybe it should be named after something it might have a chance at being useful for?

[British Beef]

FFS at this rate in 10 years time all we will have to choose from will be electric SUVs!!

[Twoshoe]

"swaddled in (still full) bin bags" - v funny!

[Fetchez la vache]

Evilex said:

Maybe it should be named after something it might have a chance at being useful for?

The Alfa 'tip run' would seem to be apt in this case, due to the bin bag references then.

[Ruskins]

Slightly worried about the X6 aping hatch but its not like i am going to buy an SUV, Alfa or otherwise anytime soon.

[Vocal Minority]

British Beef said:

FFS at this rate in 10 years time all we will have to choose from will be electric SUVs!!

Exactly. As each manufacturer introduces one SUV into their range of other vehicles...where is our ability to choose brand new rear drive saloons is completely destroyed!!!

Oh wait... http://www.autoexpress.co.uk/alfa-romeo/giulia/344...


Honestly, company wants to make some money shocker. You can still buy the cars you like, stop just grumbling because the world refuses to stop turning for you.

[Axionknight]

Imagine using the name "Stelvio" for a load of tripe like this will likely be.

[AH33]

So is that the finished model then?

[Ruskins]

AH33 said:

So is that the finished model then?

Not sure if serious?

[V40Vinnie]

British Beef said:

FFS at this rate in 10 years time all we will have to choose from will be electric SUVs!!

It does feel like a dilution of the brand doesnt it?

[Quickmoose]

V40Vinnie said:

British Beef said:

FFS at this rate in 10 years time all we will have to choose from will be electric SUVs!!

It does feel like a dilution of the brand doesnt it?

One of the last to give way though?
I mean it has to be easier to list the brands that don't have an SUV now...

only Ferrari, Aston and Lambo to go, and Aston/Lambo have it on their radar...
All brands are now diluted.

[court]

Giulia QV first drive reviews are out today - is there a PH one?

http://www.autocar.co.uk/car-review/alfa-romeo/giu...

http://www.carmagazine.co.uk/car-reviews/alfa-rome...

[matrignano]

So that's a rebodied Levante then?

[Ali_T]

matrignano said:

So that's a rebodied Levante then?

No. It's based on the Giulia platform, not the Ghibli. And do remember the Levante mule looked like this:

[matrignano]

Ali_T said:

No. It's based on the Giulia platform, not the Ghibli. And do remember the Levante mule looked like this:

I'm still not convinced that FCA would go to the trouble of developing to completely unrelated, similarly sized platforms from the ground up

[Ali_T]

They haven't. The Quattroporte and Ghibli still have platforms developed off the old Merc E class and Chrysler 300C!

[Ruskins]

court said:

Giulia QV first drive reviews are out today - is there a PH one?

http://www.autocar.co.uk/car-review/alfa-romeo/giu...

http://www.carmagazine.co.uk/car-reviews/alfa-rome...

Yep, Evo and TG also have a review up, both pretty glowing. Did PH not get an invitation?

[Dan Trent]

Ruskins said:

court said:

Giulia QV first drive reviews are out today - is there a PH one?

http://www.autocar.co.uk/car-review/alfa-romeo/giu...

http://www.carmagazine.co.uk/car-reviews/alfa-rome...

Yep, Evo and TG also have a review up, both pretty glowing. Did PH not get an invitation?

Our man is driving it tomorrow/Thursday - full review and geekery to follow. If anyone's got any questions off the back of the reviews they've already read by all means let me know and we'll put them to the engineers/brand folk we meet on the event.

Cheers!

Dan

[k-ink]

British Beef said:

FFS at this rate in 10 years time all we will have to choose from will be electric SUVs!!

But on the low ride height setting their owners will call them Hot Hatches

[Quickmoose]

Dan Trent said:

Our man is driving it tomorrow/Thursday - full review and geekery to follow. If anyone's got any questions off the back of the reviews they've already read by all means let me know and we'll put them to the engineers/brand folk we meet on the event.

Cheers!

Dan

From what I can see they're all saying the same thing, with different words.
So perhaps focus on some alternative angles....try and get it on some ordinary roads, describe the emotion/feel of the thing rather than the stats. First gut feeling walking up to it and sitting in it etc. Anything that will grate after long term exposure. Get more info on the more affordable models...