Divorcing empty nesters...
Discussion
Why does it seem that once children leave the home couples end up divorcing? I would have thought that's the time to enjoy life with each other but seems not to be the case.
Feel sorry for a friend of mine, worked his arse of all his working life and treated his wife like royalty, she didn't want to work so he let her do what she liked. Now their kids have grown up she wants a divorce???
Feel sorry for a friend of mine, worked his arse of all his working life and treated his wife like royalty, she didn't want to work so he let her do what she liked. Now their kids have grown up she wants a divorce???
They stayed together for the kids, and they probably endured that for long enough to really get sick of each other.
I split earlier this year with the ex, we have two kids, 2 and 5 years old. Both mine and my ex's parents split up later in life, and we both are convinced staying together for the kids is the wrong decision.
I split earlier this year with the ex, we have two kids, 2 and 5 years old. Both mine and my ex's parents split up later in life, and we both are convinced staying together for the kids is the wrong decision.
Money for one. She'll claim that his kids meant she was never able to pursue her career but her staying at home enabled him to earn his wage today. Therefore she'll feel entitled to a chunk of that wage along with an interest in any pensions and the keys to the current marital home. She gets a family for free, a place to live and an income for life.
Some will put up with temporarily being with someone they no longer love for the sake of financial security.
Some will put up with temporarily being with someone they no longer love for the sake of financial security.
Impasse said:
Money for one. She'll claim that his kids meant she was never able to pursue her career but her staying at home enabled him to earn his wage today. Therefore she'll feel entitled to a chunk of that wage along with an interest in any pensions and the keys to the current marital home. She gets a family for free, a place to live and an income for life.
Some will put up with temporarily being with someone they no longer love for the sake of financial security.
Makes me think i kinda dodged a bullet...Some will put up with temporarily being with someone they no longer love for the sake of financial security.
BigLion said:
Why does it seem that once children leave the home couples end up divorcing? I would have thought that's the time to enjoy life with each other but seems not to be the case.
Feel sorry for a friend of mine, worked his arse of all his working life and treated his wife like royalty, she didn't want to work so he let her do what she liked. Now their kids have grown up she wants a divorce???
Rather than the 'staying together for the sake of the Children' angle it;s often the fact that Feel sorry for a friend of mine, worked his arse of all his working life and treated his wife like royalty, she didn't want to work so he let her do what she liked. Now their kids have grown up she wants a divorce???
1. Children leaving home is a life changing event
2. The parents suddenly have a lot more time together on their hands
foxsasha said:
I think all a large part of it is that kids mask just how boring people find their other half. When it's suddenly just the two of them they realise can't stand each others sole company/one can't stand the other and it's game over. The kids act as a buffer whilst their at home.
exactly - also it reduces the time they spend together - alone especially if one or both parents is speanding hours a week supportingtheir ofsprings sporting or artistic endeavours foxsasha said:
I think all a large part of it is that kids mask just how boring people find their other half. When it's suddenly just the two of them they realise can't stand each others sole company/one can't stand the other and it's game over. The kids act as a buffer whilst their at home.
Exactly this.Plus, people look in the mirror, dont see a fit young 21 year old looking back at them and think 'is this it?'
I split with my wife almost 2 years ago. She was always a bit of a nagger. Without going into detail, this escalated to ridiculous levels when the kids left home. We discussed it at length but there was no change - it got worse and led to all sorts of false accusations. Essentially, I got the kids share of her bad side too after they left the nest.
So, unable to do anything about it and unable to make any more changes and efforts myself, unable to take any more, after a couple of years trying to change things, I left.
I am sure that I would not be the only one in this position - when the kids go, you become the focus of all things bad. All day and all night. It's no life.
Guess who the bad guy is?
So, unable to do anything about it and unable to make any more changes and efforts myself, unable to take any more, after a couple of years trying to change things, I left.
I am sure that I would not be the only one in this position - when the kids go, you become the focus of all things bad. All day and all night. It's no life.
Guess who the bad guy is?
Robertj21a said:
The female of the species needs to reproduce - she needs a man to satisfy that need. Once she has had some children to nurture, paid for (usually) by the man, then there's little reason for her to stay in that relationship.
So there we have it, the entire character of 3.5 billion people summed up in 2 sentences.
BigLion said:
Why does it seem that once children leave the home couples end up divorcing? I would have thought that's the time to enjoy life with each other but seems not to be the case.
Feel sorry for a friend of mine, worked his arse of all his working life and treated his wife like royalty, she didn't want to work so he let her do what she liked. Now their kids have grown up she wants a divorce???
Erm, I think you've answered your own question with the bit in bold. Many women need a challenge, if they are treated too well, they see it as weakness and get bored.Feel sorry for a friend of mine, worked his arse of all his working life and treated his wife like royalty, she didn't want to work so he let her do what she liked. Now their kids have grown up she wants a divorce???
It used to be the sage advice of previous generations: Keep them well fked and poorly shod!*
- better say that I'm not saying I agree, just repeating an oft used quote of older gen's.
TwigtheWonderkid said:
Robertj21a said:
The female of the species needs to reproduce - she needs a man to satisfy that need. Once she has had some children to nurture, paid for (usually) by the man, then there's little reason for her to stay in that relationship.
So there we have it, the entire character of 3.5 billion people summed up in 2 sentences.
Robertj21a said:
PurpleMoonlight said:
You are absolutely correct.
The woman rarely leaves, they force the man out so that he is homeless.
Unfortunately, all too true.The woman rarely leaves, they force the man out so that he is homeless.
Some could easily say that the male of the species is hard-wired to spread its seed as far and wide as possible.
One pump, done. Move on.
Eh?
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