Just tried to stand the wifes car on it's nose.

[PGN]

This happened to me many years ago. I had a student job at christmas in a warehouse in Hackney which stored frozen turkeys. Had to do an urgent delivery to a restaurant somewhere in the West End. There were no vans available so I took the manager's car, a Cortina Mk3 2 litre Automatic. We loaded it up with frozen turkeys, filling the boot and the rear seat almost to the roof. Off I went without really knowing where I was going (cockiness of youth). While stopped at red lights in the right hand lane of 3 I realised that I needed to turn left in about 50 yards. No problem - I'll just floor it when the lights change and cut across the other 2 lanes. I did that and left the lights in a flurry of squealing wheelspin. I then had brain fade and tried to change to second. I stuck my left foot out for the clutch and hit the brake pedal instead, performing an emergency stop. At this point the frozen turkeys toppled forwards. Many of them slid out of the fairly flimsy cardboard boxes. I had a couple in my lap and several ended up in the front footwell. Much hooting ensued while I threw the escaped turkeys into the passenger seat and continued rather sheepishly.

I always remember this incident whenever I get into an automatic.

[Hugo a Gogo]

my boss had just picked up a brand new Mercedes and I was driving him in it, for some reason

I put the 'clutch' in, he headbutted the screen and broke his glasses

[dci]

AW111 said:

My MR2 has six speeds :

R 1 3 5
| | | |

---

| | |
2 4 6

My van has 5:

1 3 5
| | |

---

| | |
2 4 R

No, you can't absent-mindedly shift the van into reverse at 100 kph, but you can try .

I do that quite often as my car has 6 forward gears and the van has 5 forward gears in the same layout as you have just shown.

It must be quite alarming for the person behind when the van in front of them shows the reverse lights at 60MPH.

Also done the left foot braking thing in a DSG A3 a few years back when stopping to let a skip lorry through a gap in the road, my face very nearly hit the windscreen. The lorry driver was pissing himself and clearly knew what happened. Luckily it was on private property so there were no others vehicles about.

[The Broker]

Many years ago I had something (I forget what) dangling from my rear view mirror, I had an idea that I could wind up my mates by telling them that it smelled of cannabis, they would doubt me so I'd say 'go on then smell it'. As they leaned forward close to the windscreen I'd slam on the brakes - apparently I was a tt but it made me laugh, a lot!

My other little prank was when I had a VW camper, the old air cooled ones had no bonnet so you could pull up sharply behind stopped cars and it looked like you were too close not to plough into the back of the car in front. I liked to throw myself at the windscreen as I stopped palms of my hands and my ugly face pressed against the glass, Never failed to make me laugh, my victims less so.

[youngricharduk]

When I passed my test at 17 my instructor did the usual thing of driving me home from the test centre. It was a dual control Clio and you can guessed what happened, I was full of adrenaline and was explaining how some idiot come flying through a traffic calming zone even though it was my right of way so I had to slam on the brakes whilst showing him the action and slamming my foot to the floor!! We were doing about 60mph when i hit the brakes!! Long story short it took the shine off just passing my test and I think he was glad to see the back of me

[Centurion07]

My friend once did the same in his works car park.

Pulled into the space, went to dip the clutch, stamped on the brake pedal and consequently headbutted the steering wheel, honking the horn in the process and allowing everyone to witness what had just happened.

[Alfa numeric]

I’ve done it the opposite way around- when I was 36 we bought an auto after driving manuals for my entire life.

The first day I used it to commute to work I was in heavy traffic- at the lights I braked to a halt, pressed the “clutch” (actually the foot rest that was in the same position that the clutch pedal had been in my previous car) and took my foot off the brake. I then lazily rolled forward into the steel step on the Transit in front of me, mashing my grille and doing him no damage at all. To this day I still don’t know why I just didn’t put my foot on the brake again, I just kept pushing the footrest ever harder.

Then had to go home and tell my wife I’d crashed her car the first time I’d driven it on my own.

[Shamrock_]

silverfoxcc said:

The reverse also happens

All our buses bar one are autos, even the gear lever is in the same position

Full up with old grannies and a wheelchair one day, glide smoothly to a halt, genttly pressing the brake

5 ton buses do not like 3mph in top gear and the look on the faces of the pax as they were shook up and down as though they were in a sauce bottle was not one i wish to repeat!!

[ChemicalChaos]

veccy208 said:

I've switched between many types of gearbox from a young age working with farm machinery so so far have managed to avoid wrong foot in cars. The first time I drove an auto anything was a big volvo loading shovel (around 13yo) I did then use the brake as a clutch and almost put my brother through the window! It rocked like a boat for a few seconds after.

Have also got into my car after driving a tractor with power shuttle all day (lever on steering column to select forward reverse and buttons for gears) and put on the indicator to reverse

Hydrostatic(?) transmissions are just as fun..... lift off suddenly like you would with an accelerator, and you come to a very quick stop!

I've never made the clutch mistake in an auto, but I have made it in a manual! Driving my mum's Abarth 500 with tiny pedals, in my big Doc Marten boots, I went to change up to third..... hit the clutch and caught the side of the brake pedal too. Rather embarrassing as I had 3 work colleagues in the car at the same time!!!

[SpudLink]

Shamrock_ said:

silverfoxcc said:

The reverse also happens

All our buses bar one are autos, even the gear lever is in the same position

Full up with old grannies and a wheelchair one day, glide smoothly to a halt, genttly pressing the brake

5 ton buses do not like 3mph in top gear and the look on the faces of the pax as they were shook up and down as though they were in a sauce bottle was not one i wish to repeat!!

Bob Newhart's bus driver sketch...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5TTA4f7Q3E

[8bit]

*Al* said:

My job includes starting and driving brand new cars off a production line, they can be manual, auto, left hand drive, right hand drive and numerous specs and models. I've occasionally jumped in the wrong side to drive.

Such huge potential for comedy and that's the best/worst (delete where applicable) you could come up with?!

CABC said:

kambites said:

It doesn't help that Skoda (and indeed VAG in general) fit such ridiculously powerful servos to their brakes. Swapping from my (unassisted) Elise into the wife's Octavia, I tend to do something like that, even when just attempting to brake quite normally; I dread to think what it's like it you stamp on it with your clutch-foot.

test drove a new Golf GTi last week, i knew vag over-servo their brakes but was still shocked just getting out the car park how brutal they were. horrible.

Probably means dealers can sell more pads and disks though.

A company I worked for some years ago required all staff to undertake a "Commentary Drive" course (we called it Comedy Drive) to be allowed to drive on company business. This was conducted in the instructors car, the idea was that you commentated on the road situation as it developed while driving along, to prove a certain level of observation I suppose. The car I used was a new (at the time) Passat. The brakes were properly vicious and the pedal was entirely binary - it was all or nothing, no progression in them at all. Hateful, awful things and, I'd argue, less safe for it.

[darren9]

Did something similar a few years ago in a mini cooper S we had at the time.

On the way to the big breakfast meet at Malton enjoying a spirited drive I negotiated a hump back bridge as I went over the crest I had a dab on the brakes with my left foot to keep the nose down and aid traction (I'm basically Ari Vattinen in climb dance) I then went for a gear change forgetting my left foot was still covering the brake and mashed the pedal to the floor.

We came to a shuddering, stalling halt with mine and my old man's heads bouncing off the windscreen and me convinced the engine had fallen out on the bridge until I realised what I had done.

I used my right foot for braking on the way home.

[simonrockman]

It's very refreshing to read a thread where people own up to crap driving.

[SpudLink]

simonrockman said:

It's very refreshing to read a thread where people own up to crap driving.

Indeed. Usually it would be blamed on " a friend".

[Glosphil]

I drive an Octavia vRS with DSG and my wife has a Clio manual. I try to drive her car once a week to 'keep my hand in' with a manual gearbox. A few times in the last 4 years, when driving the Clio, I have failed to put in the clutch when coming to a stop and have stalled the engine. I have never gone for the clutch in the DSG car or in US auto rental cars.

[smarty156]

Funniest thing I've seen while out driving was one of those little Suzuki Sooty vans (the proper tiny ones) doing an endo at a roundabout. He drove up to the roundabout thinking he could go but then realised a car was coming so jumped on the brakes. The rear wheels must have gone about 3 feet up in the air!
I think they had the engine effectively under the drivers seat and I'm guessing he had nothing in the back to weigh it down.

[andburg]

Not me but when I got an auris hybrid company car the other half was bored of not using her left leg and full emergency stopped us.

She didn't try to left foot brake again

[ruggedscotty]

Reg Local said:

In the early 2000s I was instructing on an advanced car course & we were tonking along a long straight section the A470 between Trawsfynydd & Dolgellau in a Volvo 850 T5 auto at about 120 MPH.

So who did you think you were doing 120 on the A470 ? Some sort of driving god ? People like you make me so... oh wait i just read your profile.....

;-)

[njd27]

stewjohnst said:

After switching from an auto 540 to a manual golf, I recall arriving at a roundabout coming to a halt and thenwonderig why fk all happened when I pressed the accelerator, rookie me a second or two to realise I'd just arrived at the roundabout in 5th and slowed to a stop without dipping the clutch and stalled.

What was worse was driving anything RHD after running around in my LHD Barchettas.

Thwarting my knuckles into the door as I went to change gear on the wrong side was a common mistake, not to mention attempting to reverse and turning my head round the wrong way to and seeing nothing but b pillar.

My best moment swapping from LHD to RHD was when someone let me out from a junction and I almost put my hand through the drivers window trying to wave thanks.

[foxbody-87]

Years ago, my mate's dad had a really clean Peugeot 505 estate (automatic). I was up at his house whilst they were putting a new engine in a Mk2 Golf. Mate's dad brought a tractor up from work with some telehandler-type forks on to drop it in. The Peugeot was in the way so his dad jumped out of the tractor, into the Peugeot, and promptly drove it at speed into the house with a sickening bang. The old farmhouse fared very well, the Peugeot less so!