One single thing that makes you think "knob" Vol 4
Discussion
Mandalore said:
Blown2CV said:
Mandalore said:
nonsequitur said:
Blanchimont said:
The absolute helmet the other day in the 206 who seemed to want to get into my boot for a lift. I could only see windscreen, bearing in mind that I was doing maybe 32ish (30limit)
At a set a of traffic lights, I asked if he wanted a lift as he may as well have got in with how f
king close he was. Got the hump with being called out on it, and tried to chase me when I pulled away. I suspect it was to apologise profusely for being such a dildo.
Topping it off though, was when he tried to swerve towards me in an attempt to scare me. He resembled a pomegranates colour when I went past laughing and pointing.
Knob.
Notwithstanding the odd honk or headlight flash, I thought the PH consensus was, when confronted with a knob driver, not to gesticulate, shout to or engage in any 'revenge' tactics. At a set a of traffic lights, I asked if he wanted a lift as he may as well have got in with how f
king close he was. Got the hump with being called out on it, and tried to chase me when I pulled away. I suspect it was to apologise profusely for being such a dildo.Topping it off though, was when he tried to swerve towards me in an attempt to scare me. He resembled a pomegranates colour when I went past laughing and pointing.
Knob.
Isn't it take a deep breath, bite your lip and continue on your merry way?
But not beeping the horn to warn someone they are about to crash into you as most of the contributors seem to advocate, is a bit meh.
kING fk YOU" with mad crazy eyes?what's more it is blatantly obvious that people on here understand the horn is for alerting others to your presence. No one is going to crash into someone because they felt honking their horn might be seen as aggressive, so that is b
ks.DaveGoddard said:
Approaching a "chicane" earlier with the signs giving me priority over oncoming traffic, I spot an Astra coming the other way at a fair speed for a built-up area and think "I bet he isn't going to stop" - I slowed and a second later was proven correct as he shot through the chicane without even slowing. I held my hands up in a "WTF?" kind of gesture, but had my radio on so couldn't hear what he called me out of his open window as he shot past.
Not one minute later a gang of half a dozen morons come barrelling towards me on motocross bikes and decide that they are not going to wait for me to pass before overtaking an oncoming car, forcing me up the kerb to avoid hitting two of them head-on.
On the same section of road today, I came up to a roundabout and another Astra came towards me from the right, slowed and indicated left, so I went to pull away to turn right. It was a good job I took a second look to the right as the Astra driver continued straight ahead while still indicating left, and luckily I managed to stop.Not one minute later a gang of half a dozen morons come barrelling towards me on motocross bikes and decide that they are not going to wait for me to pass before overtaking an oncoming car, forcing me up the kerb to avoid hitting two of them head-on.
Thankfully I haven't got to use that bit of road again for a while all being well, everyone on it seems to be out to get me!
Blown2CV said:
Mandalore said:
Blown2CV said:
Mandalore said:
nonsequitur said:
Blanchimont said:
The absolute helmet the other day in the 206 who seemed to want to get into my boot for a lift. I could only see windscreen, bearing in mind that I was doing maybe 32ish (30limit)
At a set a of traffic lights, I asked if he wanted a lift as he may as well have got in with how fking close he was. Got the hump with being called out on it, and tried to chase me when I pulled away. I suspect it was to apologise profusely for being such a dildo.
Topping it off though, was when he tried to swerve towards me in an attempt to scare me. He resembled a pomegranates colour when I went past laughing and pointing.
Knob.
Notwithstanding the odd honk or headlight flash, I thought the PH consensus was, when confronted with a knob driver, not to gesticulate, shout to or engage in any 'revenge' tactics. At a set a of traffic lights, I asked if he wanted a lift as he may as well have got in with how f
king close he was. Got the hump with being called out on it, and tried to chase me when I pulled away. I suspect it was to apologise profusely for being such a dildo.Topping it off though, was when he tried to swerve towards me in an attempt to scare me. He resembled a pomegranates colour when I went past laughing and pointing.
Knob.
Isn't it take a deep breath, bite your lip and continue on your merry way?
But not beeping the horn to warn someone they are about to crash into you as most of the contributors seem to advocate, is a bit meh.
kING fk YOU" with mad crazy eyes?what's more it is blatantly obvious that people on here understand the horn is for alerting others to your presence. No one is going to crash into someone because they felt honking their horn might be seen as aggressive, so that is b
ks.Its either a very slow day today, or its 100% true what people have been saying about you.
I have already agreed with the odd honk bit already.
As for the rest of the guff you have written about gestures, I am confused as to whether you have a vivid imagination, or a good memory.
Maybe both are true.
Edited by Mandalore on Thursday 23 November 16:01
Mandalore said:
Blown2CV said:
Mandalore said:
Blown2CV said:
Mandalore said:
nonsequitur said:
Blanchimont said:
The absolute helmet the other day in the 206 who seemed to want to get into my boot for a lift. I could only see windscreen, bearing in mind that I was doing maybe 32ish (30limit)
At a set a of traffic lights, I asked if he wanted a lift as he may as well have got in with how fking close he was. Got the hump with being called out on it, and tried to chase me when I pulled away. I suspect it was to apologise profusely for being such a dildo.
Topping it off though, was when he tried to swerve towards me in an attempt to scare me. He resembled a pomegranates colour when I went past laughing and pointing.
Knob.
Notwithstanding the odd honk or headlight flash, I thought the PH consensus was, when confronted with a knob driver, not to gesticulate, shout to or engage in any 'revenge' tactics. At a set a of traffic lights, I asked if he wanted a lift as he may as well have got in with how f
king close he was. Got the hump with being called out on it, and tried to chase me when I pulled away. I suspect it was to apologise profusely for being such a dildo.Topping it off though, was when he tried to swerve towards me in an attempt to scare me. He resembled a pomegranates colour when I went past laughing and pointing.
Knob.
Isn't it take a deep breath, bite your lip and continue on your merry way?
But not beeping the horn to warn someone they are about to crash into you as most of the contributors seem to advocate, is a bit meh.
kING fk YOU" with mad crazy eyes?what's more it is blatantly obvious that people on here understand the horn is for alerting others to your presence. No one is going to crash into someone because they felt honking their horn might be seen as aggressive, so that is b
ks.Its either a very slow day today, or its 100% true what people have been saying about you.
I have already agreed with the odd honk bit already.
As for the rest of the guff you have written about gestures, I am confused as to whether you have a vivid imagination, or a good memory.
Maybe both are true.
Edited by Mandalore on Thursday 23 November 16:01
Blown2CV said:
Mandalore said:
Blown2CV said:
Mandalore said:
Blown2CV said:
Mandalore said:
nonsequitur said:
Blanchimont said:
The absolute helmet the other day in the 206 who seemed to want to get into my boot for a lift. I could only see windscreen, bearing in mind that I was doing maybe 32ish (30limit)
At a set a of traffic lights, I asked if he wanted a lift as he may as well have got in with how fking close he was. Got the hump with being called out on it, and tried to chase me when I pulled away. I suspect it was to apologise profusely for being such a dildo.
Topping it off though, was when he tried to swerve towards me in an attempt to scare me. He resembled a pomegranates colour when I went past laughing and pointing.
Knob.
Notwithstanding the odd honk or headlight flash, I thought the PH consensus was, when confronted with a knob driver, not to gesticulate, shout to or engage in any 'revenge' tactics. At a set a of traffic lights, I asked if he wanted a lift as he may as well have got in with how f
king close he was. Got the hump with being called out on it, and tried to chase me when I pulled away. I suspect it was to apologise profusely for being such a dildo.Topping it off though, was when he tried to swerve towards me in an attempt to scare me. He resembled a pomegranates colour when I went past laughing and pointing.
Knob.
Isn't it take a deep breath, bite your lip and continue on your merry way?
But not beeping the horn to warn someone they are about to crash into you as most of the contributors seem to advocate, is a bit meh.
kING fk YOU" with mad crazy eyes?what's more it is blatantly obvious that people on here understand the horn is for alerting others to your presence. No one is going to crash into someone because they felt honking their horn might be seen as aggressive, so that is b
ks.Its either a very slow day today, or its 100% true what people have been saying about you.
I have already agreed with the odd honk bit already.
As for the rest of the guff you have written about gestures, I am confused as to whether you have a vivid imagination, or a good memory.
Maybe both are true.
Edited by Mandalore on Thursday 23 November 16:01
So, I decided to just run you over.
Mandalore said:
Blown2CV said:
Mandalore said:
Blown2CV said:
Mandalore said:
Blown2CV said:
Mandalore said:
nonsequitur said:
Blanchimont said:
The absolute helmet the other day in the 206 who seemed to want to get into my boot for a lift. I could only see windscreen, bearing in mind that I was doing maybe 32ish (30limit)
At a set a of traffic lights, I asked if he wanted a lift as he may as well have got in with how fking close he was. Got the hump with being called out on it, and tried to chase me when I pulled away. I suspect it was to apologise profusely for being such a dildo.
Topping it off though, was when he tried to swerve towards me in an attempt to scare me. He resembled a pomegranates colour when I went past laughing and pointing.
Knob.
Notwithstanding the odd honk or headlight flash, I thought the PH consensus was, when confronted with a knob driver, not to gesticulate, shout to or engage in any 'revenge' tactics. At a set a of traffic lights, I asked if he wanted a lift as he may as well have got in with how f
king close he was. Got the hump with being called out on it, and tried to chase me when I pulled away. I suspect it was to apologise profusely for being such a dildo.Topping it off though, was when he tried to swerve towards me in an attempt to scare me. He resembled a pomegranates colour when I went past laughing and pointing.
Knob.
Isn't it take a deep breath, bite your lip and continue on your merry way?
But not beeping the horn to warn someone they are about to crash into you as most of the contributors seem to advocate, is a bit meh.
kING fk YOU" with mad crazy eyes?what's more it is blatantly obvious that people on here understand the horn is for alerting others to your presence. No one is going to crash into someone because they felt honking their horn might be seen as aggressive, so that is b
ks.Its either a very slow day today, or its 100% true what people have been saying about you.
I have already agreed with the odd honk bit already.
As for the rest of the guff you have written about gestures, I am confused as to whether you have a vivid imagination, or a good memory.
Maybe both are true.
Edited by Mandalore on Thursday 23 November 16:01
So, I decided to just run you over.
nonsequitur said:
Blanchimont said:
The absolute helmet the other day in the 206 who seemed to want to get into my boot for a lift. I could only see windscreen, bearing in mind that I was doing maybe 32ish (30limit)
At a set a of traffic lights, I asked if he wanted a lift as he may as well have got in with how fking close he was. Got the hump with being called out on it, and tried to chase me when I pulled away. I suspect it was to apologise profusely for being such a dildo.
Topping it off though, was when he tried to swerve towards me in an attempt to scare me. He resembled a pomegranates colour when I went past laughing and pointing.
Knob.
Notwithstanding the odd honk or headlight flash, I thought the PH consensus was, when confronted with a knob driver, not to gesticulate, shout to or engage in any 'revenge' tactics. At a set a of traffic lights, I asked if he wanted a lift as he may as well have got in with how f
king close he was. Got the hump with being called out on it, and tried to chase me when I pulled away. I suspect it was to apologise profusely for being such a dildo.Topping it off though, was when he tried to swerve towards me in an attempt to scare me. He resembled a pomegranates colour when I went past laughing and pointing.
Knob.
Isn't it take a deep breath, bite your lip and continue on your merry way?
I made my semi regular trip up from est London to Dereham in Norfolk today.
The A11/M11 is always a source of complete muppets.
The first was the idiot using the hard shoulder twice to bypass traffic, luckily there for a change were no broken down vehicles. There was plenty of crub being thrown up. The driver knew it was not a smart motorway as he cut in at least twice when the traffic was running better.
The second was far more scary.
When i turned off the A11 onto the A1075 the road has several sweeping bends not all with good visibility.
The traffic was light there was a dark coloured old shape astra a distance behind.
He was making no progress towards me just maintain the same gap. Then all off a sudden he changed lanes so he is no in the right hand lane of a single carriage road. He stayed there for a couple of miles.
I could see a artic approaching the astra made no attempt to change lanes untill the last second.
It looked like the artic braked hard.
The astra slowed down and kept to the left after that and eventfully turned off to HMP Wayland.
It was the closet to an accident ive seen on a while.
The A11/M11 is always a source of complete muppets.
The first was the idiot using the hard shoulder twice to bypass traffic, luckily there for a change were no broken down vehicles. There was plenty of crub being thrown up. The driver knew it was not a smart motorway as he cut in at least twice when the traffic was running better.
The second was far more scary.
When i turned off the A11 onto the A1075 the road has several sweeping bends not all with good visibility.
The traffic was light there was a dark coloured old shape astra a distance behind.
He was making no progress towards me just maintain the same gap. Then all off a sudden he changed lanes so he is no in the right hand lane of a single carriage road. He stayed there for a couple of miles.
I could see a artic approaching the astra made no attempt to change lanes untill the last second.
It looked like the artic braked hard.
The astra slowed down and kept to the left after that and eventfully turned off to HMP Wayland.
It was the closet to an accident ive seen on a while.
The twunt in an Audi TT today who took exception to my assisting him in fitting his car through a narrow gap by folding his door mirror in for him.
I'd been happily cycling along, with parked cars on HIS side, very nearly passed them anyway when this chump decided he didn't want to wait for me to get clear of HIS obstruction, and drove toward me at speed.
He soon came to a halt though, when I made no attempt to dive out of his way. His door mirror was folded quite forcibly, but I was unnecessarily nice to him, doing it with the palm of my hand instead of my brake lever so as not to leave a mark.
The poor lamb! He went apoplectic. Raging he was. Making out like he wanted to fight me or some st. He drove away, though, when I pointed out that if he did, indeed, want to fight me, then he'd need to get out of his locked box.
Oh, and the clown driving out of a cul-de-sac using a hand-held mobile phone. Some crappy Korean SUV or other, He can't have been more than 500 metres from where he got into the damned car too. That was a near miss, as I clocked him early and slowed down. Spidey senses tingling. And true to form, he failed to look, and failed to stop at the give way line. And predictably got shirty when i mouthed at him to "put the fking phone down" as if it was MY fault that he was too distracted to see me. As he passed, it was apparent that every single occupant of the car (the ones I could see, anyway) was separately busy on their own mobile phone. Are people such cretinous morons these days that they cannot put the damned devices down and simply speak to one another? Just for a few minutes?
I'd been happily cycling along, with parked cars on HIS side, very nearly passed them anyway when this chump decided he didn't want to wait for me to get clear of HIS obstruction, and drove toward me at speed.
He soon came to a halt though, when I made no attempt to dive out of his way. His door mirror was folded quite forcibly, but I was unnecessarily nice to him, doing it with the palm of my hand instead of my brake lever so as not to leave a mark.
The poor lamb! He went apoplectic. Raging he was. Making out like he wanted to fight me or some s
t. He drove away, though, when I pointed out that if he did, indeed, want to fight me, then he'd need to get out of his locked box.Oh, and the clown driving out of a cul-de-sac using a hand-held mobile phone. Some crappy Korean SUV or other, He can't have been more than 500 metres from where he got into the damned car too. That was a near miss, as I clocked him early and slowed down. Spidey senses tingling. And true to form, he failed to look, and failed to stop at the give way line. And predictably got shirty when i mouthed at him to "put the f
king phone down" as if it was MY fault that he was too distracted to see me. As he passed, it was apparent that every single occupant of the car (the ones I could see, anyway) was separately busy on their own mobile phone. Are people such cretinous morons these days that they cannot put the damned devices down and simply speak to one another? Just for a few minutes? People in busy car parks who stop and block the road to wait for a car to leave it's space, it's absolutely fine if the car they're waiting for is leaving it's space. Really bloody annoying and frankly rude when some idiot starts waiting as soon as they see car's hazards flashing as the owner unlocks it, then we all wait they load their shopping into the boot. Normally the ignorant pigs who do this then take about 25 maneuvers to get their (normally something small) Ford Fiesta into the parking space,
I don't like being the car that's leaving the space either, when I get into the car I like to pick a song on my phone before setting off, however when one of these clowns is waiting I feel pressured to get out of the space as quickly as possible.
Another thing about car parks, why does everyone become a st driver? "One way system? can't be bothered with that, it's quicker to get out if I go the wrong way", "give way lines? Far too much effort, the other car has brakes, they can stop", "zebra crossing? nah"
If you can't tell, I went shopping today, and hated every moment of it.
I don't like being the car that's leaving the space either, when I get into the car I like to pick a song on my phone before setting off, however when one of these clowns is waiting I feel pressured to get out of the space as quickly as possible.
Another thing about car parks, why does everyone become a s
t driver? "One way system? can't be bothered with that, it's quicker to get out if I go the wrong way", "give way lines? Far too much effort, the other car has brakes, they can stop", "zebra crossing? nah"If you can't tell, I went shopping today, and hated every moment of it.
nonsequitur said:
oceanview said:
Textbook example earlier today:
Centre of town, its 2 degrees, and who shall appear??
Yes, flabby bloke who thinks he's in shape, wearing t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops!!!!!!
Why??? Just why??
I agree. Jogging in flip-flops is most uncomforable.Centre of town, its 2 degrees, and who shall appear??
Yes, flabby bloke who thinks he's in shape, wearing t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops!!!!!!
Why??? Just why??
If the chap was jogging and a out of shape he's doing or at least trying to do something about it and should be applauded for his efforts; but this is Pistonheads where body shaming fashionistas matter.
carlove said:
People in busy car parks who stop and block the road to wait for a car to leave it's space, it's absolutely fine if the car they're waiting for is leaving it's space. Really bloody annoying and frankly rude when some idiot starts waiting as soon as they see car's hazards flashing as the owner unlocks it, then we all wait they load their shopping into the boot. Normally the ignorant pigs who do this then take about 25 maneuvers to get their (normally something small) Ford Fiesta into the parking space,
I don't like being the car that's leaving the space either, when I get into the car I like to pick a song on my phone before setting off, however when one of these clowns is waiting I feel pressured to get out of the space as quickly as possible.
Another thing about car parks, why does everyone become a st driver? "One way system? can't be bothered with that, it's quicker to get out if I go the wrong way", "give way lines? Far too much effort, the other car has brakes, they can stop", "zebra crossing? nah"
If you can't tell, I went shopping today, and hated every moment of it.
I did this recently, but I had been round the car park three times, so time to take affirmative action.I don't like being the car that's leaving the space either, when I get into the car I like to pick a song on my phone before setting off, however when one of these clowns is waiting I feel pressured to get out of the space as quickly as possible.
Another thing about car parks, why does everyone become a s
t driver? "One way system? can't be bothered with that, it's quicker to get out if I go the wrong way", "give way lines? Far too much effort, the other car has brakes, they can stop", "zebra crossing? nah"If you can't tell, I went shopping today, and hated every moment of it.
As Larry David said while waiting for a space, 'Make a call and have a cup of coffee why don't you'.
Liquid Knight said:
nonsequitur said:
oceanview said:
Textbook example earlier today:
Centre of town, its 2 degrees, and who shall appear??
Yes, flabby bloke who thinks he's in shape, wearing t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops!!!!!!
Why??? Just why??
I agree. Jogging in flip-flops is most uncomforable.Centre of town, its 2 degrees, and who shall appear??
Yes, flabby bloke who thinks he's in shape, wearing t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops!!!!!!
Why??? Just why??
If the chap was jogging and a out of shape he's doing or at least trying to do something about it and should be applauded for his efforts; but this is Pistonheads where body shaming fashionistas matter.
nonsequitur said:
Liquid Knight said:
nonsequitur said:
oceanview said:
Textbook example earlier today:
Centre of town, its 2 degrees, and who shall appear??
Yes, flabby bloke who thinks he's in shape, wearing t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops!!!!!!
Why??? Just why??
I agree. Jogging in flip-flops is most uncomforable.Centre of town, its 2 degrees, and who shall appear??
Yes, flabby bloke who thinks he's in shape, wearing t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops!!!!!!
Why??? Just why??
If the chap was jogging and a out of shape he's doing or at least trying to do something about it and should be applauded for his efforts; but this is Pistonheads where body shaming fashionistas matter.
Not jogging- walking around the town centre, shopping .
I am an infrequent and off peak motorway user. Lane discipline, or the lack of and smart motorways make me thing knob, but what makes me think knob more than that are the directors in the powerfully built German barges hogging lane 3 or which ever is the outside lane.
Do you pricks ever look in your mirrors and ever think that someone in a less powerful car may want to get a wiggle on and come past your lazy arses? I've followed countless barges over 400 miles this weekend most of which were completely oblivious to what was going on behind them. Many just pulled into lane 3 seemingly without looking a sat there as though they were enjoying holding people up. Knob heads, the lot of you.
Do you pricks ever look in your mirrors and ever think that someone in a less powerful car may want to get a wiggle on and come past your lazy arses? I've followed countless barges over 400 miles this weekend most of which were completely oblivious to what was going on behind them. Many just pulled into lane 3 seemingly without looking a sat there as though they were enjoying holding people up. Knob heads, the lot of you.
Old Woman in the Micra who wasn't going to let me merge in front of her. Literally sat 1" off the car in front to block me off (despite me being ahead of her when we got to the merge point)
Just laughed at her and her bulldog chewing a wasp face. And slotted in neatly behind her. Meh
Got a bit more pissed off with her when she just sat in outside speed matching the car in next lane for the next 4 miles though! Horrible, horrible! 
To balance. errr Me.
After encountering loads and loads of traffic one morning (just jam after jam, and delay after delay, for the thick end of an hour as it can be) and then driving at "significant" speed on the 3 lane road to try and make up time. Including undertaking a couple of cars sat in L3 doing (probably) the speed limit.
Did feel a bit of a knob afterwards
Just laughed at her and her bulldog chewing a wasp face. And slotted in neatly behind her. Meh
Got a bit more pissed off with her when she just sat in outside speed matching the car in next lane for the next 4 miles though! Horrible, horrible
! To balance. errr Me.
After encountering loads and loads of traffic one morning (just jam after jam, and delay after delay, for the thick end of an hour as it can be) and then driving at "significant" speed on the 3 lane road to try and make up time. Including undertaking a couple of cars sat in L3 doing (probably) the speed limit.
Did feel a bit of a knob afterwards
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