One single thing that makes you think "knob" Vol 4

One single thing that makes you think "knob" Vol 4

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yellowjack

17,082 posts

167 months

Tuesday 20th November 2018
quotequote all
I stayed in Bournemouth recently.

Many things made me think "knob!" while I was there. High on the list were the constant parade of aholes tearing along Westover Road. Not surprising, really, as it's home to a casino and a large gym so it's bound to attract a bit of "a type". But revving the tits off your BMW/Audi/Mercedes V8 at dark o'clock? It doesn't make you look cool, nor does it induce people to admire either you, or your fancy motor car. You just come across as being a total ccensoredt. Especially as you then fail miserably at reverse parking, and tear off (again) to park in Hinton Road where there's space enough that you don't need the ability to reverse park.

Further knobbery in the form of a big black Range Rover with obligatory "gangsta tint" windows which was double-parked for ages, despite there being plenty of on-street parking, along with about 60 spaces in the Pavilion Theatre car park.

The pièce de résistance though? The Magnum Opus of fktardery? That was reserved for the driver of a white BMW coupe (3-series? 4-series? who the fk nows, they're all out of the same jelly-mould anyway). He/she (I couldn't see from where I was crossing the road) had performed a U-turn out of their parking spot on Westover Road, and was trying to get onto the roundabout outside the Royal Bath Hotel. Only they couldn't, because two other drivers were trying to get off the roundabout onto Westover Road IN THE CORRECT DIRECTION OF TRAVEL on this one-way street. And yet it took about two minutes of a stand-off and some tooting to persuade the BMW driver to back up, turn around, and proceed in the correct direction... rolleyes

I used to have a strong desire to move to Bournemouth to live. As did my wife, who grew up there. But now we've decided that almost all of the Midlands would be a nicer place to live than Bournemouth, which appears to have been ruined in the last ten to fifteen years. Parts of it are more like Blackpool ( eugh! yuck ) than Blackpool itself ( #southernsnobbery wink )

Krikkit

26,555 posts

182 months

Tuesday 20th November 2018
quotequote all
Toaster Pilot said:
ashleyman said:
theplayingmantis said:
so how do these new numbering system on Audis work then? no engine sizes mention in them now?
Ripped this from Auto-Car.

- 30 for models with between 81 and 96kW (107 and 127bhp)

- 35 for models with between 110 and 120kW (145 and 159bhp)

- 40 for models with between 125 and 150kW (165 and 198bhp)

- 45 for models with between 169 and 185kW (223 and 244bhp)

- 50 for models with between 210 and 230kW (278 and 304bhp)

- 60 for models with between 320 and 340kW (423 and 449bhp)

- 70 for models with more than 400kW (529bhp)
This has got to be getting people ready for the electric world where model number just dictates how much battery / power it has, like Tesla do?
Exactly - it unifies the numbering between hybrid, ICE and electric ready for the future.

Zetec-S

5,911 posts

94 months

Tuesday 20th November 2018
quotequote all
yellowjack said:
I stayed in Bournemouth recently.

Many things made me think "knob!" while I was there. High on the list were the constant parade of aholes tearing along Westover Road. Not surprising, really, as it's home to a casino and a large gym so it's bound to attract a bit of "a type". But revving the tits off your BMW/Audi/Mercedes V8 at dark o'clock? It doesn't make you look cool, nor does it induce people to admire either you, or your fancy motor car. You just come across as being a total ccensoredt. Especially as you then fail miserably at reverse parking, and tear off (again) to park in Hinton Road where there's space enough that you don't need the ability to reverse park.

Further knobbery in the form of a big black Range Rover with obligatory "gangsta tint" windows which was double-parked for ages, despite there being plenty of on-street parking, along with about 60 spaces in the Pavilion Theatre car park.

The pièce de résistance though? The Magnum Opus of fktardery? That was reserved for the driver of a white BMW coupe (3-series? 4-series? who the fk nows, they're all out of the same jelly-mould anyway). He/she (I couldn't see from where I was crossing the road) had performed a U-turn out of their parking spot on Westover Road, and was trying to get onto the roundabout outside the Royal Bath Hotel. Only they couldn't, because two other drivers were trying to get off the roundabout onto Westover Road IN THE CORRECT DIRECTION OF TRAVEL on this one-way street. And yet it took about two minutes of a stand-off and some tooting to persuade the BMW driver to back up, turn around, and proceed in the correct direction... rolleyes

I used to have a strong desire to move to Bournemouth to live. As did my wife, who grew up there. But now we've decided that almost all of the Midlands would be a nicer place to live than Bournemouth, which appears to have been ruined in the last ten to fifteen years. Parts of it are more like Blackpool ( eugh! yuck ) than Blackpool itself ( #southernsnobbery wink )
Westover Road has always been like that. Go back 15-20 years and it would be Saxo's and Corsa's with giant fart cannons on the back doing laps of the "Westover circuit". Times have obviously changed, and I think they close a lot of it off at night these days, but obviously there's still plenty of knobs around.

IJB1959

2,139 posts

87 months

Tuesday 20th November 2018
quotequote all
theplayingmantis said:
richb77 said:
I was at Audi (for work) recently and saw all these and couldnt believe they where sticking such big engines in cars...Until now when i have looked up the new meanings...Cant say i am a fan. If i <b>could afford to buy an Audi</b> i would be ripping that straight off.
so how do these new numbering system on Audis work then? no engine sizes mention in them now?

Fermit and Sarah

13,045 posts

101 months

Tuesday 20th November 2018
quotequote all
Zetec-S said:
yellowjack said:
I stayed in Bournemouth recently.

Many things made me think "knob!" while I was there. High on the list were the constant parade of aholes tearing along Westover Road. Not surprising, really, as it's home to a casino and a large gym so it's bound to attract a bit of "a type". But revving the tits off your BMW/Audi/Mercedes V8 at dark o'clock? It doesn't make you look cool, nor does it induce people to admire either you, or your fancy motor car. You just come across as being a total ccensoredt. Especially as you then fail miserably at reverse parking, and tear off (again) to park in Hinton Road where there's space enough that you don't need the ability to reverse park.

Further knobbery in the form of a big black Range Rover with obligatory "gangsta tint" windows which was double-parked for ages, despite there being plenty of on-street parking, along with about 60 spaces in the Pavilion Theatre car park.

The pièce de résistance though? The Magnum Opus of fktardery? That was reserved for the driver of a white BMW coupe (3-series? 4-series? who the fk nows, they're all out of the same jelly-mould anyway). He/she (I couldn't see from where I was crossing the road) had performed a U-turn out of their parking spot on Westover Road, and was trying to get onto the roundabout outside the Royal Bath Hotel. Only they couldn't, because two other drivers were trying to get off the roundabout onto Westover Road IN THE CORRECT DIRECTION OF TRAVEL on this one-way street. And yet it took about two minutes of a stand-off and some tooting to persuade the BMW driver to back up, turn around, and proceed in the correct direction... rolleyes

I used to have a strong desire to move to Bournemouth to live. As did my wife, who grew up there. But now we've decided that almost all of the Midlands would be a nicer place to live than Bournemouth, which appears to have been ruined in the last ten to fifteen years. Parts of it are more like Blackpool ( eugh! yuck ) than Blackpool itself ( #southernsnobbery wink )
Westover Road has always been like that. Go back 15-20 years and it would be Saxo's and Corsa's with giant fart cannons on the back doing laps of the "Westover circuit". Times have obviously changed, and I think they close a lot of it off at night these days, but obviously there's still plenty of knobs around.
I think most big towns/ cities had similar in the Max Power era. Nottingham had 'the circuit' which went around the back of the Broad Marsh every Friday and Saturday night. I can't claim complete innocence mind, on a few occasions on nights out we would take a friends 997 around it to destroy a few Corsa's and the likes....

Flibble

6,476 posts

182 months

Tuesday 20th November 2018
quotequote all
Blown2CV said:
yes that was my point. What non-S non-RS have enough firepower to be called a 70
The only cars they make which have that much power are the RS6 and the R8 V10 plus (the standard R8 comes in at just 397 kW). Definitely future proofing only at this stage.

Liquid Knight

15,754 posts

184 months

Tuesday 20th November 2018
quotequote all
Krikkit said:
Toaster Pilot said:
ashleyman said:
theplayingmantis said:
so how do these new numbering system on Audis work then? no engine sizes mention in them now?
Ripped this from Auto-Car.

- 30 for models with between 81 and 96kW (107 and 127bhp)

- 35 for models with between 110 and 120kW (145 and 159bhp)

- 40 for models with between 125 and 150kW (165 and 198bhp)

- 45 for models with between 169 and 185kW (223 and 244bhp)

- 50 for models with between 210 and 230kW (278 and 304bhp)

- 60 for models with between 320 and 340kW (423 and 449bhp)

- 70 for models with more than 400kW (529bhp)
This has got to be getting people ready for the electric world where model number just dictates how much battery / power it has, like Tesla do?
Exactly - it unifies the numbering between hybrid, ICE and electric ready for the future.
Ready for the misbadging thread to have a plethora of base model Audis with 70 badges that are as convincing as the BMW 116D with a Halfords/eBay/Made in China "M" badge stuck to it. wink

Shakermaker

11,317 posts

101 months

Tuesday 20th November 2018
quotequote all
Blown2CV said:
yes that was my point. What non-S non-RS have enough firepower to be called a 70
Is there a petrol Q7/Q8 that isn't available in the UK?

Alex_225

6,271 posts

202 months

Tuesday 20th November 2018
quotequote all
People that park on the left side of the road, facing towards the traffic but leaving their headlights on.

There's an aerodrome near me which obviously attracts dog walkers so people park up along the road.

Often drive round the corner, to be faced by dazzling headlights to the left, car coming to your right so you have to drive between two sets of headlights. Turn the bloody things off!

anonymous-user

55 months

Tuesday 20th November 2018
quotequote all
Liquid Knight said:
Krikkit said:
Toaster Pilot said:
ashleyman said:
theplayingmantis said:
so how do these new numbering system on Audis work then? no engine sizes mention in them now?
Ripped this from Auto-Car.

- 30 for models with between 81 and 96kW (107 and 127bhp)

- 35 for models with between 110 and 120kW (145 and 159bhp)

- 40 for models with between 125 and 150kW (165 and 198bhp)

- 45 for models with between 169 and 185kW (223 and 244bhp)

- 50 for models with between 210 and 230kW (278 and 304bhp)

- 60 for models with between 320 and 340kW (423 and 449bhp)

- 70 for models with more than 400kW (529bhp)
This has got to be getting people ready for the electric world where model number just dictates how much battery / power it has, like Tesla do?
Exactly - it unifies the numbering between hybrid, ICE and electric ready for the future.
Ready for the misbadging thread to have a plethora of base model Audis with 70 badges that are as convincing as the BMW 116D with a Halfords/eBay/Made in China "M" badge stuck to it. wink
rofl

Misbadging cars, especially "premium" (which is VERY dubious these days!) german stuff, is utterly fking tragic and laughable.



matchmaker

8,501 posts

201 months

Tuesday 20th November 2018
quotequote all
OpulentBob said:
rofl

Misbadging cars, especially "premium" (which is VERY dubious these days!) german stuff, is utterly fking tragic and laughable.
Yes, saw an Astra VXD today...rolleyesrolleyes

Haltamer

2,457 posts

81 months

Tuesday 20th November 2018
quotequote all
Have had a few over the past few days.

First one, on the way to Brands hatch, making way down a hill towards residential / roundabout, The limit is clearly posted from NSL to 40; one blue Peugeot following.
Reasonable space, gently brake to arrive in the 40 at 40, Peugeot right up arse and beeping - They stay there, until I flow onto the roundabout, and they nearly T-bone a range rover. Very satisfying watching them panic stop in the rear view.

Next ones, yesterday evening - Torrential rain, dark, visibility not great.
Car one with no lights (at all); Flash them. Nothing. Again... Rear fog light comes on; Still can't see any headlights. rotate

Once again on the same journey; Jeep. No lights. Flash him upwards of 30 individual times; Blinky flashes, long flashes, switching to sidelights and back to dip (No, I didn't have anything better to do!) - Completely oblivious
Pull up next to him at traffic lights; Bib him for attention. Looks at me as I shout lights at his closed window and make a blinking light symbol with my hand out the window, then returns to his phone conversation.

Didn't turn any lights on. banghead

GOATever

2,651 posts

68 months

Tuesday 20th November 2018
quotequote all
yellowjack said:
I stayed in Bournemouth recently.

Many things made me think "knob!" while I was there. High on the list were the constant parade of aholes tearing along Westover Road. Not surprising, really, as it's home to a casino and a large gym so it's bound to attract a bit of "a type". But revving the tits off your BMW/Audi/Mercedes V8 at dark o'clock? It doesn't make you look cool, nor does it induce people to admire either you, or your fancy motor car. You just come across as being a total ccensoredt. Especially as you then fail miserably at reverse parking, and tear off (again) to park in Hinton Road where there's space enough that you don't need the ability to reverse park.

Further knobbery in the form of a big black Range Rover with obligatory "gangsta tint" windows which was double-parked for ages, despite there being plenty of on-street parking, along with about 60 spaces in the Pavilion Theatre car park.

The pièce de résistance though? The Magnum Opus of fktardery? That was reserved for the driver of a white BMW coupe (3-series? 4-series? who the fk nows, they're all out of the same jelly-mould anyway). He/she (I couldn't see from where I was crossing the road) had performed a U-turn out of their parking spot on Westover Road, and was trying to get onto the roundabout outside the Royal Bath Hotel. Only they couldn't, because two other drivers were trying to get off the roundabout onto Westover Road IN THE CORRECT DIRECTION OF TRAVEL on this one-way street. And yet it took about two minutes of a stand-off and some tooting to persuade the BMW driver to back up, turn around, and proceed in the correct direction... rolleyes

I used to have a strong desire to move to Bournemouth to live. As did my wife, who grew up there. But now we've decided that almost all of the Midlands would be a nicer place to live than Bournemouth, which appears to have been ruined in the last ten to fifteen years. Parts of it are more like Blackpool ( eugh! yuck ) than Blackpool itself ( #southernsnobbery wink )
Southbourne isn’t as bad, and pretty close.

Shakermaker

11,317 posts

101 months

Tuesday 20th November 2018
quotequote all
matchmaker said:
Yes, saw an Astra VXD today...rolleyesrolleyes
A common badge applied to Vectras and Astras by those who retuned their 1.9 CDTi (or didn't) but still made it into a VXR replica with all the body kit etc. Seen many of them at the VBOA events over the years, am sure even more would be seen at PVS.

Liquid Knight

15,754 posts

184 months

Tuesday 20th November 2018
quotequote all
Shakermaker said:
matchmaker said:
Yes, saw an Astra VXD today...rolleyesrolleyes
A common badge applied to Vectras and Astras by those who retuned their 1.9 CDTi (or didn't) but still made it into a VXR replica with all the body kit etc. Seen many of them at the VBOA events over the years, am sure even more would be seen at PVS.
There's a white Corsa in my village with the VXR Nurbergring body kit, exhaust, wheels and stickers on even though it's a 1.4 diesel. The owner drives it like a complete tool as well.

Wouldn't surprise me if the VXR bits were from a stolen car. If I were a Police officer would certainly pull any vehicle like that over. cop

Shakermaker

11,317 posts

101 months

Tuesday 20th November 2018
quotequote all
Liquid Knight said:
There's a white Corsa in my village with the VXR Nurbergring body kit, exhaust, wheels and stickers on even though it's a 1.4 diesel. The owner drives it like a complete tool as well.

Wouldn't surprise me if the VXR bits were from a stolen car. If I were a Police officer would certainly pull any vehicle like that over. cop
Well we all remember how easy it is to remove Corsa and Astra body panels without having to unlock the cars, don't we?

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/corsa-cannib...

nonsequitur

20,083 posts

117 months

Tuesday 20th November 2018
quotequote all
GOATever said:
yellowjack said:
I stayed in Bournemouth recently.

Many things made me think "knob!" while I was there. High on the list were the constant parade of aholes tearing along Westover Road. Not surprising, really, as it's home to a casino and a large gym so it's bound to attract a bit of "a type". But revving the tits off your BMW/Audi/Mercedes V8 at dark o'clock? It doesn't make you look cool, nor does it induce people to admire either you, or your fancy motor car. You just come across as being a total ccensoredt. Especially as you then fail miserably at reverse parking, and tear off (again) to park in Hinton Road where there's space enough that you don't need the ability to reverse park.

Further knobbery in the form of a big black Range Rover with obligatory "gangsta tint" windows which was double-parked for ages, despite there being plenty of on-street parking, along with about 60 spaces in the Pavilion Theatre car park.

The pièce de résistance though? The Magnum Opus of fktardery? That was reserved for the driver of a white BMW coupe (3-series? 4-series? who the fk nows, they're all out of the same jelly-mould anyway). He/she (I couldn't see from where I was crossing the road) had performed a U-turn out of their parking spot on Westover Road, and was trying to get onto the roundabout outside the Royal Bath Hotel. Only they couldn't, because two other drivers were trying to get off the roundabout onto Westover Road IN THE CORRECT DIRECTION OF TRAVEL on this one-way street. And yet it took about two minutes of a stand-off and some tooting to persuade the BMW driver to back up, turn around, and proceed in the correct direction... rolleyes

I used to have a strong desire to move to Bournemouth to live. As did my wife, who grew up there. But now we've decided that almost all of the Midlands would be a nicer place to live than Bournemouth, which appears to have been ruined in the last ten to fifteen years. Parts of it are more like Blackpool ( eugh! yuck ) than Blackpool itself ( #southernsnobbery wink )
Southbourne isn’t as bad, and pretty close.
Football team seems to be doing rather well.

nonsequitur

20,083 posts

117 months

Tuesday 20th November 2018
quotequote all
Nanook said:
Liquid Knight said:
There's a white Corsa in my village with the VXR Nurbergring body kit, exhaust, wheels and stickers on even though it's a 1.4 diesel. The owner drives it like a complete tool as well.

Wouldn't surprise me if the VXR bits were from a stolen car. If I were a Police officer would certainly pull any vehicle like that over. cop
And say what?
Hello,hello, hello, What's goin on ere then?cop

Seriously, cars like the one described have, metaphorically, got STOP ME written all over them.drivingcop

yellowjack

17,082 posts

167 months

Wednesday 21st November 2018
quotequote all
nonsequitur said:
Football team seems to be doing rather well.
The one time I saw Bournemouth play (other than "on the telly" games) was 1990. It was Wolves visiting, and I was on a course at Bovington with a Wolves fan. We turned up quite close to kick-off and bought tickets on the turnstile, and were about to end up in the "wrong" end of the ground. We were escorted by a policeman through the tunnel under the stand to the away end. It was the weekend before Leeds fans kicked off in Bournemouth for (I believe) an FA Cup game. The ground looked a lot different back then.

The only other time I saw footie in Bournemouth's (new) ground was the 2008 Hampshire Senior Cup final where Farnborough lost 1-0 to Basingstoke Town. One end of the ground was still open back then, and I remember thinking "it'll be nice when it's finished". AFC Bournemouth have certainly come a long way since then...

Shakermaker

11,317 posts

101 months

Wednesday 21st November 2018
quotequote all
Nanook said:
Liquid Knight said:
There's a white Corsa in my village with the VXR Nurbergring body kit, exhaust, wheels and stickers on even though it's a 1.4 diesel. The owner drives it like a complete tool as well.

Wouldn't surprise me if the VXR bits were from a stolen car. If I were a Police officer would certainly pull any vehicle like that over. cop
And say what?
"Stop driving like a tool" would be a start
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