One single thing that makes you think "knob" Vol 4

[Flibble]

Whoosh parrot for Mr Yellowjack.

[Tired]

No-one pissed me off on the roads this morning, but my colleague came in complaining that some fud on a push bike was riding through the clyde tunnel this morning. On the road deck, at a couple of MPH up the hill, holding up everyone.

[Tired]

yellowjack said:

I don't know what image of me is conjured by my posts. Nor do I care. But by Christ, there's a lot of social misfits in zip-up 'owners club' anoraks on this site, judging by some of the tripe posted. Surely you can't ALL have been bullied at school, and have been diagnosed with "special educational needs"? Yet the standard of written English is frequently down below that expected from the average junior school pupil. There's a small, but very vocal cohort of the "proudly thick" on PistonHeads, and quite frankly it is not an edifying spectacle to witness.

You answered your own question really.

[Rawwr]

yellowjack said:

I don't know what image of me is conjured by my posts. Nor do I care. But by Christ, there's a lot of social misfits in zip-up 'owners club' anoraks on this site, judging by some of the tripe posted. Surely you can't ALL have been bullied at school, and have been diagnosed with "special educational needs"? Yet the standard of written English is frequently down below that expected from the average junior school pupil. There's a small, but very vocal cohort of the "proudly thick" on PistonHeads, and quite frankly it is not an edifying spectacle to witness.

Is this the point where I highlight all of the terrible punctuation and grammar in your post?

[yellowjack]

Rawwr said:

yellowjack said:

I don't know what image of me is conjured by my posts. Nor do I care. But by Christ, there's a lot of social misfits in zip-up 'owners club' anoraks on this site, judging by some of the tripe posted. Surely you can't ALL have been bullied at school, and have been diagnosed with "special educational needs"? Yet the standard of written English is frequently down below that expected from the average junior school pupil. There's a small, but very vocal cohort of the "proudly thick" on PistonHeads, and quite frankly it is not an edifying spectacle to witness.

Is this the point where I highlight all of the terrible punctuation and grammar in your post?

Highlight away. If I'm getting it wrong, then I'm genuinely interested in correcting my errors. I'm certainly not perfect, and there is always scope to learn. Do you use a highlighter, or a red pen?

[Monkeylegend]

yellowjack said:

Monkeylegend said:

yellowjack said:

Camelot1971 said:

yellowjack said:

I was driving with the electronic limiter on, selected as 65 mph indicated because I was home.

People who drive on the motorway (or most other roads actually) and are close to running out of fuel. Knobs.

Hmmm? Now let me think...

I left home with sufficient fuel (judged on experience) to complete the outward leg, and most of the homeward leg. By the time I arrived at my destination, the fuel computer had recalculated based on sensible, efficient open road driving instead of the local stop-start local stuff it had based it's previous estimate on. So I was confident that I would make it home comfortably ahead of the "zero miles range remaining" warning.

On top of that, I had MANY options to top up if I'd felt the need. Half a dozen options at my departure point. At Ringwood. At Picket Post on the A31. At the M27 services just before the M3, at Winchester services, at the Tesco Extra or Shell stations just off Junction 9, or getting off at Basingstoke. Or Hook. Or the M3 services at Fleet. So at no time was I ever "close to running out of fuel". In fact I had enough to drive my wife to work the following morning AND get to my local Tesco to make best use of a 5p off per litre coupon. And even then I could only squeeze 68 litres into the tank, so there was at least 2 litres of useable fuel sloshing around at the bottom of the tank.

So you see, when I said "nursing a low fuel level", what I meant by it was that I preferred to end the journey at home, where I knew fuel was a few pence cheaper per litre, than to top up at a more expensive option at some point during the journey. So I drove appropriately to ensure that this was the case. FYI I've only run out of fuel once. That was in my first car, a Cortina with a broken fuel gauge sender. But that was in Lyndhurst, in the New Forest, at the top of a hill. I managed to keep the car rolling to the filling station at the bottom of the hill (where I'd been heading anyway) and stopped neatly alongside the pump such that I don't think anyone actually noticed other than my wife in the passenger seat.

But thanks for your concern chap. And thanks for showing us another clear example of all that lets PH down these days. There really shouldn't be any need for these pathetic minute examinations of every last element of a post. Do schools not teach "comprehension" properly anymore???

But when you go into as much detail as you do in all your posts it's hardly surprising.

The irony meter is definitely twitching

There is no irony at all. That's the point, in fact. Proved for me by some random halfwit on this very forum. It's the reason why I go into so much detail in the first place, usually. Precisely because by giving every minute detail you only have to put up with the TL;DR comedians, not the "dissect every last element of a post" adenoidal anorak wearing wkers. Every time I try to self-edit, I seem to find another one of these morons inserting details and possibilities into a tale that were never there. Hence my writing style is usually somewhat "comprehensive" in it's scope.

I don't know what image of me is conjured by my posts. Nor do I care. But by Christ, there's a lot of social misfits in zip-up 'owners club' anoraks on this site, judging by some of the tripe posted. Surely you can't ALL have been bullied at school, and have been diagnosed with "special educational needs"? Yet the standard of written English is frequently down below that expected from the average junior school pupil. There's a small, but very vocal cohort of the "proudly thick" on PistonHeads, and quite frankly it is not an edifying spectacle to witness.

I rest my case.

[Blown2CV]

yellowjack said:

Monkeylegend said:

yellowjack said:

Camelot1971 said:

yellowjack said:

I was driving with the electronic limiter on, selected as 65 mph indicated because I was home.

People who drive on the motorway (or most other roads actually) and are close to running out of fuel. Knobs.

Hmmm? Now let me think...

I left home with sufficient fuel (judged on experience) to complete the outward leg, and most of the homeward leg. By the time I arrived at my destination, the fuel computer had recalculated based on sensible, efficient open road driving instead of the local stop-start local stuff it had based it's previous estimate on. So I was confident that I would make it home comfortably ahead of the "zero miles range remaining" warning.

On top of that, I had MANY options to top up if I'd felt the need. Half a dozen options at my departure point. At Ringwood. At Picket Post on the A31. At the M27 services just before the M3, at Winchester services, at the Tesco Extra or Shell stations just off Junction 9, or getting off at Basingstoke. Or Hook. Or the M3 services at Fleet. So at no time was I ever "close to running out of fuel". In fact I had enough to drive my wife to work the following morning AND get to my local Tesco to make best use of a 5p off per litre coupon. And even then I could only squeeze 68 litres into the tank, so there was at least 2 litres of useable fuel sloshing around at the bottom of the tank.

So you see, when I said "nursing a low fuel level", what I meant by it was that I preferred to end the journey at home, where I knew fuel was a few pence cheaper per litre, than to top up at a more expensive option at some point during the journey. So I drove appropriately to ensure that this was the case. FYI I've only run out of fuel once. That was in my first car, a Cortina with a broken fuel gauge sender. But that was in Lyndhurst, in the New Forest, at the top of a hill. I managed to keep the car rolling to the filling station at the bottom of the hill (where I'd been heading anyway) and stopped neatly alongside the pump such that I don't think anyone actually noticed other than my wife in the passenger seat.

But thanks for your concern chap. And thanks for showing us another clear example of all that lets PH down these days. There really shouldn't be any need for these pathetic minute examinations of every last element of a post. Do schools not teach "comprehension" properly anymore???

But when you go into as much detail as you do in all your posts it's hardly surprising.

The irony meter is definitely twitching

There is no irony at all. That's the point, in fact. Proved for me by some random halfwit on this very forum. It's the reason why I go into so much detail in the first place, usually. Precisely because by giving every minute detail you only have to put up with the TL;DR comedians, not the "dissect every last element of a post" adenoidal anorak wearing wkers. Every time I try to self-edit, I seem to find another one of these morons inserting details and possibilities into a tale that were never there. Hence my writing style is usually somewhat "comprehensive" in it's scope.

I don't know what image of me is conjured by my posts. Nor do I care. But by Christ, there's a lot of social misfits in zip-up 'owners club' anoraks on this site, judging by some of the tripe posted. Surely you can't ALL have been bullied at school, and have been diagnosed with "special educational needs"? Yet the standard of written English is frequently down below that expected from the average junior school pupil. There's a small, but very vocal cohort of the "proudly thick" on PistonHeads, and quite frankly it is not an edifying spectacle to witness.

sounds like you need a break from social media for a bit.

[yellowjack]

Blown2CV said:

sounds like you need a break from social media for a bit.

A break from idiots is what I need. Sadly, no matter whether it's digital social media or real life, it's always swarming with idiots, and the indefensibly selfish and/or ignorant.

So I've subscribed to the "if you can't beat them, join them" idea and signed in to PH again...

[Pan Pan Pan]

Mandalore said:

Pan Pan Pan said:

Kuji said:

Ares said:

Pan Pan Pan said:

Absolutely this. I believe the 40 mph everywhere brigade are a bit mental. I came up behind such a f*ckwit some years back doing between 35 and 40 on a clear NSL road. It was early in the morning so not much traffic on the road, so indicated, over took and carried on my way
some miles further on I entered a 30 zone going through a village, and had slowed to the posted limit, when up comes f*ckwit at what must have been around 80 mph to get past me, and who then proceeded to drive through the village at the same speed. What in heavens name goes on between the ears of these f*ckwit types?.

Last few days, thanks to a dusting of snow, they've become the 20mph everywhere brigade...! Then get followed by a dozen sheep-like drivers, driving so close as to not allow anyone to overtake car by car.

Christ, the wrath cyclists get for cycling at 20mph holding the world up for hours and hours....

Z -listers who use other road users extreme lack of road craft to justify their own failings.

Coming from someone whose own failings are so great they cannot even make it onto the Z list, that will be taken as a compliment, Let us know when you have advanced high enough to reach the bottom of said Z list

I notice you aren't saying he is wrong in his highly accurate assessment.

How can I say he is either right, or wrong in his assessment, since he or I know nothing of our respective failings, just as you are unable to conclude that his assessment is `highly accurate'
Unless of course you are stalking us without our knowledge .

[nonsequitur]

Ares said:

nonsequitur said:

Ares said:

Last few days, thanks to a dusting of snow, they've become the 20mph everywhere brigade...! Then get followed by a dozen sheep-like drivers, driving so close as to not allow anyone to overtake car by car.

In the current weather conditions that makes perfect sense. This morning I was overtaken in snow and ice conditions by the usual over confident four wheel drive vehicles who think they are immune from black ice and other treacherous driving hazards.

Not on 60 limit roads, with no snow, no ice, gritted and in 2-3 degree temperatures.

100% sure? I don't think so. Let's all S(dab).

[anonymous-user]

yellowjack said:

A break from idiots is what I need.

Unfortunately you're stuck with one for the rest of your life.

[Hol]

Tired said:

No-one pissed me off on the roads this morning, but my colleague came in complaining that some fud on a push bike was riding through the clyde tunnel this morning. On the road deck, at a couple of MPH up the hill, holding up everyone.

P3 and anagram fool will be along soon to explain that it was all because some motorist somewhere was on their phone whilst driving.

[Monkeylegend]

yellowjack said:

So I've subscribed to the "if you can't beat them, join them" idea and signed in to PH again...

You are the founding member of the club

[Tyre Tread]

nonsequitur said:

Ares said:

nonsequitur said:

Ares said:

Last few days, thanks to a dusting of snow, they've become the 20mph everywhere brigade...! Then get followed by a dozen sheep-like drivers, driving so close as to not allow anyone to overtake car by car.

In the current weather conditions that makes perfect sense. This morning I was overtaken in snow and ice conditions by the usual over confident four wheel drive vehicles who think they are immune from black ice and other treacherous driving hazards.

Not on 60 limit roads, with no snow, no ice, gritted and in 2-3 degree temperatures.

100% sure? I don't think so. Let's all S(dab).

You can never be 100% sure of anything do if that's your criteria for travelling at any given speed you may as well stay home.

What does S(dab) mean?

[nonsequitur]

Tyre Tread said:

You can never be 100% sure of anything do if that's your criteria for travelling at any given speed you may as well stay home.

What does S(dab) mean?

To be clearer: 100% sure when there is ice and snow, or the aftermath of same.

lets all SLOW (down a bit). That is in general, not just poor driving conditions.

[captain_cynic]

nonsequitur said:

Tyre Tread said:

You can never be 100% sure of anything do if that's your criteria for travelling at any given speed you may as well stay home.

What does S(dab) mean?

To be clearer: 100% sure when there is ice and snow, or the aftermath of same.

lets all SLOW (down a bit). That is in general, not just poor driving conditions.

When there's snow and/or ice I've no issue with people going slow. Snow and ice are perfectly legitimate reasons for that, especially down here in Berkshire where it snows maybe 2-3 days a year and we're not set up for it.

What makes me think "knob" are road users going 10-20 mph without a good reason like snow or ice.

What we need in the UK are fines for obstructing traffic. If you're going slow and there are a line of cars behind you without a legitimate reason, you should be fined for obstruction unless you allow the traffic to pass..

[Europa1]

nonsequitur said:

Tyre Tread said:

You can never be 100% sure of anything do if that's your criteria for travelling at any given speed you may as well stay home.

What does S(dab) mean?

To be clearer: 100% sure when there is ice and snow, or the aftermath of same.

lets all SLOW (down a bit). That is in general, not just poor driving conditions.

Shouldn't it be Sd(ab)?

[Mort7]

Guy in a nice Audi TTS Roadster, in a car wash which clearly says ‘ Hard tops only', engine running, and windscreen wipers going while the wash was in progress. He even speeded them up when the water jets sprayed the windscreen. How they weren't ripped off is beyond me. He did turn them off for the drying cycle though.

[Flibble]

You won't convince him, nonseq is the founder of the twenty's plenty (in a NSL) club.

[Flibble]

Mort7 said:

Guy in a nice Audi TTS Roadster, in a car wash which clearly says ‘ Hard tops only', engine running, and windscreen wipers going while the wash was in progress. He even speeded them up when the water jets sprayed the windscreen. How they weren't ripped off is beyond me. He did turn them off for the drying cycle though.

Probably had them on automatic and too dopey to turn them off.