One single thing that makes you think "knob" Vol 4

[Alex_225]

If anyone knows the Coulsdon Road in Surrey, it's a 30mph but fairly open albeit with driveways and turnings. Also known locally for speed traps. That doesn't deter people from overtaking you if you're sticking to the speed limit then hammering off down the road at 40mph+.

Except one such overtaking genius gets impatient, overtakes with a car coming the other way and then proceeds to do under 30mph. A really odd one as it's usually a lack of patience. Not for Mr Merc ML driver. Knob!

[nonsequitur]

Krikkit said:

nonsequitur said:

Rich_W said:

*Then in Tescos, the wky kid starts scanning my shopping whilst I'm about 10% into loading the conveyor! "Do you want to wait a moment mate?" results in a mini snort of indignation from the little st!

Re the Tesco incident. Is that the check out person you are slagging off? For actually scanning the items, ready for packing? Shiver my timbers matey, a bit harsh.

Quite, I'd nominate the poster there.

Cashiers often get marked on various metrics in terms of speed between customers, items scanned per minute once started etc. Note in Aldi they'll often wait before starting, then scan like hell for leather until the end of the shop - they're marked on the scan rate.

Yes, and the rest of his day was going so well!

[nonsequitur]

maccas99 said:

I have an area at the front of my house that is council owned verge next to the road which is grassed and the council mow this occasionally. The road is quite narrow but you can get two normal cars to pas each other if each of them are able to drive.

So, knob points go to my neighbours gardeners opposite who have driven over the verge to put a massive great big long tyre size groove all the way along it. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for me fixing it a few days ago when someone else did exactly the same thing....!

Not life threatening but certainly annoying as hell!

I have the same problem. Single track road in front of the house, two cars approaching each other, neither of which takes advantage of the many driveways or pull ins, they have to move over AS THEY PASS which means one is on my front lawn. Grrrrrrr....
I know it is the local authorities verge, but I put in a lot of time on that grass only for it to look like a swimming pool (without tiles).

[Europa1]

nonsequitur said:

maccas99 said:

I have an area at the front of my house that is council owned verge next to the road which is grassed and the council mow this occasionally. The road is quite narrow but you can get two normal cars to pas each other if each of them are able to drive.

So, knob points go to my neighbours gardeners opposite who have driven over the verge to put a massive great big long tyre size groove all the way along it. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for me fixing it a few days ago when someone else did exactly the same thing....!

Not life threatening but certainly annoying as hell!

I have the same problem. Single track road in front of the house, two cars approaching each other, neither of which takes advantage of the many driveways or pull ins, they have to move over AS THEY PASS which means one is on my front lawn. Grrrrrrr....
I know it is the local authorities verge, but I put in a lot of time on that grass only for it to look like a swimming pool (without tiles).

Same problem for me also; why in the name of [insert chosen deity or the word "fk" here] can people not have the patience to wait those few seconds to let the other vehicle pass?

A new take on the issue last week: exited my house, walk across drive, reach pavement, step back sharply as the builders working a few doors up couldn't be arsed to wait for someone to come through, so decided to use the pavement and verge to get through.

[Rich_W]

nonsequitur said:

Krikkit said:

nonsequitur said:

Rich_W said:

*Then in Tescos, the wky kid starts scanning my shopping whilst I'm about 10% into loading the conveyor! "Do you want to wait a moment mate?" results in a mini snort of indignation from the little st!

Re the Tesco incident. Is that the check out person you are slagging off? For actually scanning the items, ready for packing? Shiver my timbers matey, a bit harsh.

Quite, I'd nominate the poster there.

Cashiers often get marked on various metrics in terms of speed between customers, items scanned per minute once started etc. Note in Aldi they'll often wait before starting, then scan like hell for leather until the end of the shop - they're marked on the scan rate.

Yes, and the rest of his day was going so well!

I will rebut!


I went to an empty till. And theres no way his machine would know that. As I put the first 2 things on, he scanned them and slid them off down the chute. Then I put the next thing on and he scanned that as well. If I hadn't asked him to wait. We'd have ended up with a log jam the other side of my meagre groceries. So he's got to stop anyway. If he waits till everyting is on the belt and the divider is there. And I've moved down. THEN starts. I can pack as he scans. No stops for shopping build up. It's more efficient If he IS audited on his performance. He should start scanning WHEN I'm ready. It'll be over quicker. His score will be higher and that chavette who works on till 7 will want his sperm on her face. If we stop/ start as I have to fanny around with bags, he'll get a lower chance of scoring

I put this entire unfortunate incident down to going to Slutton Tescos for a change

On a more serious point

Re: Yaris fkwit. I'm still irritated about it now if I think about it.

Genuine question. How can I stop being so fked off with other drivers when they do such fking retarded things. I know it's completely pointless to get wound up by it. I KNOW that Yaris boy will continue to watch TV whilst he drives (I only hope he only kills himself when he inevitably has an accident!)

I know they will never change, and the standard of driving in this country is only getting worse.

I should just breathe and say "fks sake" rather than getting wound up. But in the heat of the moment, I often struggle to. And it frustrates me even more when less than 2 mins later I'm completely calm again

Any ideas? Anyone had similar in their lives?

[AlexRS2782]

The woman in her 40's in the Mk2 Focus ST at Watchmoor Park Sainsbury's this afternoon who was attempting to turn on / set her dash cam, whilst driving her car. As a result of not looking where she was going she successfully managed to drive onto an occupied zebra crossing outside the store, causing people to scatter and only avoided running over a mother with baby because she made contact with their trolley first Upon realising what she'd done, after she clipped the trolley, she planted her foot down and sped off

Quite a few of us got her reg plate, I think at least one of the scattered pedestrians was reporting her to 101 and mother with the trolley was going to see if the incident had been caught on store CCTV. I assume the driver with the dashcam was probably hurrying to delete any footage she captured at the crossing when she got round the corner / home - moron.

[carlove]

A woman in an Volvo, on a city centre two lane road, slow traffic I'm passing her and notice she's quite blatantly texting and driving inches behind the car in front, as I'm alongside she drifts into my lane, so I do a quick beep, she swerves back out of my lane, puts her phone away, and gives me the middle finger.

[Kuji]

Does anyone else think the the age of positive feminine traits has long gone.

It's very rare that I get thanked if I stop, wait and hold the door open for one coming the other way, or for someone (male or female) following me through, but extremely common to see a woman to walk through a door and let it slam in the following persons face, without a second thought.

A sign of the times perhaps?

[Bobberoo99]

Rich_W said:

I will rebut!


I went to an empty till. And theres no way his machine would know that. As I put the first 2 things on, he scanned them and slid them off down the chute. Then I put the next thing on and he scanned that as well. If I hadn't asked him to wait. We'd have ended up with a log jam the other side of my meagre groceries. So he's got to stop anyway. If he waits till everyting is on the belt and the divider is there. And I've moved down. THEN starts. I can pack as he scans. No stops for shopping build up. It's more efficient If he IS audited on his performance. He should start scanning WHEN I'm ready. It'll be over quicker. His score will be higher and that chavette who works on till 7 will want his sperm on her face. If we stop/ start as I have to fanny around with bags, he'll get a lower chance of scoring

I put this entire unfortunate incident down to going to Slutton Tescos for a change

On a more serious point

Re: Yaris fkwit. I'm still irritated about it now if I think about it.

Genuine question. How can I stop being so fked off with other drivers when they do such fking retarded things. I know it's completely pointless to get wound up by it. I KNOW that Yaris boy will continue to watch TV whilst he drives (I only hope he only kills himself when he inevitably has an accident!)

I know they will never change, and the standard of driving in this country is only getting worse.

I should just breathe and say "fks sake" rather than getting wound up. But in the heat of the moment, I often struggle to. And it frustrates me even more when less than 2 mins later I'm completely calm again

Any ideas? Anyone had similar in their lives?

This is exactly how I feel too, I am not a driving god, I am at best an ok driver, what I am however is considerate of others around me, why others are unable to be this way is beyond my abilities to understand, it may be cultural, it may be upbringing, it may be that society no longer cares, what it is though, is fking irritating!!!

Kuji said:

Does anyone else think the the age of positive feminine traits has long gone.

It's very rare that I get thanked if I stop, wait and hold the door open for one coming the other way, or for someone (male or female) following me through, but extremely common to see a woman to walk through a door and let it slam in the following persons face, without a second thought.

A sign of the times perhaps?

As I alluded to above, I think people no longer care, we now have a hugely diverse society, multi cultural and verging on non gender, religion is banned from schools and children are taught from a young age what their rights are, anyone over 40 will have been taught discipline from a young age, not that they are untouchable, and I'm afraid that we no longer show consideration for those around us, this is how things are now.

[nonsequitur]

nonsequitur said:

Rich_W said:

nonsequitur said:

Krikkit said:

nonsequitur said:

Rich_W said:

*Then in Tescos, the wky kid starts scanning my shopping whilst I'm about 10% into loading the conveyor! "Do you want to wait a moment mate?" results in a mini snort of indignation from the little st!

Re the Tesco incident. Is that the check out person you are slagging off? For actually scanning the items, ready for packing? Shiver my timbers matey, a bit harsh.

Quite, I'd nominate the poster there.

Cashiers often get marked on various metrics in terms of speed between customers, items scanned per minute once started etc. Note in Aldi they'll often wait before starting, then scan like hell for leather until the end of the shop - they're marked on the scan rate.

Yes, and the rest of his day was going so well!

I will rebut!


I went to an empty till. And theres no way his machine would know that. As I put the first 2 things on, he scanned them and slid them off down the chute. Then I put the next thing on and he scanned that as well. If I hadn't asked him to wait. We'd have ended up with a log jam the other side of my meagre groceries. So he's got to stop anyway. If he waits till everyting is on the belt and the divider is there. And I've moved down. THEN starts. I can pack as he scans. No stops for shopping build up. It's more efficient If he IS audited on his performance. He should start scanning WHEN I'm ready. It'll be over quicker. His score will be higher and that chavette who works on till 7 will want his sperm on her face. If we stop/ start as I have to fanny around with bags, he'll get a lower chance of scoring

I put this entire unfortunate incident down to going to Slutton Tescos for a change

On a more serious point

Re: Yaris fkwit. I'm still irritated about it now if I think about it.

Genuine question. How can I stop being so fked off with other drivers when they do such fking retarded things. I know it's completely pointless to get wound up by it. I KNOW that Yaris boy will continue to watch TV whilst he drives (I only hope he only kills himself when he inevitably has an accident!)

I know they will never change, and the standard of driving in this country is only getting worse.

I should just breathe and say "fks sake" rather than getting wound up. But in the heat of the moment, I often struggle to. And it frustrates me even more when less than 2 mins later I'm completely calm again

Any ideas? Anyone had similar in their lives?

Rebutbut;
Tescos: Still seems to me that the cashier was just doing his job. You put you purchases on the belt he scans and moves them down.
'Shopping build up'. I think you have coined a new check out phrase. Exclusive to yourself.
Your last sentence contains a vulgar insult and has no place on PH.

Other drivers: If you persist in getting wound up you will be taking on a full time job. your driving will suffer and it will all end in tears.

[99dndd]

Had the cruise control set to 70mph (I'm a good boy) on the short motorway run to work.

I began to catch a car that I'd guess was doing 68, so I pull out to overtake.

Car in front speeds up, just a little bit. I'd guess to about 72mph.

I'm not fussed as I'm happy enough at 70, so I pull back in behind.

Car slows to 68 again. When I go to overtake, they speed up slightly again.

Had a funny feeling about the car, didn't want to boot it past them in case it was an unmarked police car trying to goad me into speeding past.

[Krikkit]

Two knobs today:

1) The Fiesta driver who turned right into a gap in the traffic which was far, far too small on a derestricted road. A queue of 16 cars then all had to slow down from 55 to 30 while they coaxed the stbox up to full speed.

Double-whammy because there was a huge, empty, visible space behind us as a level crossing had shut behind us.

2) The new chap in the office - drives a Mk.1 Audi TT on huge Halfords-special alloys with ditchfinders, cheap lowering springs, one broken headlight, flappy undertrays, tailgating everyone round the bypass (me included).

Then he parks about 2 microns away from the back of another staff member's car so they can't get into the boot.

Then, not only that, but he thinks it's acceptable to wear a baseball cap backwards on a dress-down Friday. He's 35.

[Dr Murdoch]

Krikkit said:

2) The new chap in the office - drives a Mk.1 Audi TT on huge Halfords-special alloys with ditchfinders, cheap lowering springs, one broken headlight, flappy undertrays, tailgating everyone round the bypass (me included).

Then he parks about 2 microns away from the back of another staff member's car so they can't get into the boot.

Then, not only that, but he thinks it's acceptable to wear a baseball cap backwards on a dress-down Friday. He's 35.

Tragic

[Short Grain]

Rich_W said:

Knob magnet was on full power today!

• Crap day at work (such is life) Temporary "supervisor" would struggle to open a newspaper. Literally 99% inept at everything his job requires!

• Then driving home I see the Yaris in front of me is clearly not paying attention. When the traffic slows and stops. I can see why!

He's watching a film on his mobile. Stuck DIRECTLY in front of his face!

!

When the road splits to 2 lanes a mile later. I drop the window and (I admit) not so politely ask him why the fk he is watching a film on his fking mobile when hes fking driving?!?! I point out that hes the sort of that will kill someone!

He doesn't drop his window. But looks at me sheepishly! But he makes NO attempt to remove the phone. I did consider phoning 999. But what would be the point? They'd never find him. And whilst this is a still from my Dashcam, it's not obvious due to the light. Probably enough wiggle room by some stbag solicitor to claim its a SatNav And if anything Id get done for driving whilst on the phone (no handsfree) And tbh with hindsight I may have spoilt it by having a go at the wker! But I was fuming! Since he'll be the type of fk who ends up knocking me off my bike and then driving off! With of course the benefit of time, I dunno why I even bothered. Regret is real

• Same journey. 40mph in the outside lane of a triple lane DC. I was the 8th or 9th car to undertake!

• Another Golf literally indicating RIGHT whilst drifting LEFT to the other lane! Oblivious to my presence

*Then in Tescos, the wky kid starts scanning my shopping whilst I'm about 10% into loading the conveyor! "Do you want to wait a moment mate?" results in a mini snort of indignation from the little st!

• And the weathers being a knob and I'm not going for a run in that ste!

And BREATHE, you'll give yourself a Hernia!

• On the plus side, no awkward Valentines nonsense

• kin hate this, they send things the conveyor so fast You / I can't get 'em in the bag quick enough so they end up rolling around and out of reach.It just holds everyone up whilst you scrabble around trying to collect them! I now just take my time, (having given the 'withering' look), If they look annoyed I go even slower.

Regarding MLMs etc. the standard of driving in this country goes down year on year as learners are taught to drive to a script to get past the instructor! Once on their own, they don't have a clue!!

[bungz]

Regularly see people on youtube and what not on my M6 commute.

No traffic rozzers these days tho so no issue of them getting caught.

[Flibble]

Today's knob was the clown in a stting Peugeot who decided to cut the 2 lane round we were going around (him in lane 1, me in lane 2). He then spotted me in his mirror and swerved back into lane 1, luckily I'd seen it coming so was holding back to avoid a collision.

[TommoAE86]

nonsequitur said:

Rich_W said:

I will rebut!


I went to an empty till. And theres no way his machine would know that. As I put the first 2 things on, he scanned them and slid them off down the chute. Then I put the next thing on and he scanned that as well. If I hadn't asked him to wait. We'd have ended up with a log jam the other side of my meagre groceries. So he's got to stop anyway. If he waits till everyting is on the belt and the divider is there. And I've moved down. THEN starts. I can pack as he scans. No stops for shopping build up. It's more efficient If he IS audited on his performance. He should start scanning WHEN I'm ready. It'll be over quicker. His score will be higher and that chavette who works on till 7 will want his sperm on her face. If we stop/ start as I have to fanny around with bags, he'll get a lower chance of scoring

I put this entire unfortunate incident down to going to Slutton Tescos for a change

On a more serious point

Re: Yaris fkwit. I'm still irritated about it now if I think about it.

Genuine question. How can I stop being so fked off with other drivers when they do such fking retarded things. I know it's completely pointless to get wound up by it. I KNOW that Yaris boy will continue to watch TV whilst he drives (I only hope he only kills himself when he inevitably has an accident!)

I know they will never change, and the standard of driving in this country is only getting worse.

I should just breathe and say "fks sake" rather than getting wound up. But in the heat of the moment, I often struggle to. And it frustrates me even more when less than 2 mins later I'm completely calm again

Any ideas? Anyone had similar in their lives?

Rebutbut;
Tescos: Still seems to me that the cashier was just doing his job. You put you purchases on the belt he scans and moves them down.
'Shopping build up'. I think you have coined a new check out phrase. Exclusive to yourself.
Your last sentence contains a vulgar insult and has no place on PH.

Other drivers: If you persist in getting wound up you will be taking on a full time job. your driving will suffer and it will all end in tears.

Super boring point (said in an Alan Partridge voice); In my days you were measured on items/min going through the till, and if your till was empty you could log your till off to keep your IPM up. Based on RichW's description the cashier was going to lower his IPM by doing what he did as he is creating a wait at the end where they couldn't log off the till. But you can log off before you scan the first item so it would was always best to wait for everything to be on the belt before starting to scan.

To bring that really boring point to a conclusion, pher's only shop at Waitrose, M&S and Sainsbury's... no one should go to one of those other pauper supermarkets

[Liquid Knight]

Had an official visit from the Police today.

About a week ago I was cut up and brake tested on a contraflow slip on the A47 to A17 roundabout. No big deal it happens all the time.

The idea was to pip my horn and possibly make a hand gesture but the button on my Alfa 145 steering wheel got stuck so the horn blasted for a good four maybe five seconds while I hit it and eventually jiggled it free. By the time the horn was silent I was a good distance behind the chap as I had a 50mph spare wheel on at the time.

Apparently the one who did the cut up and brake test reported it as road rage because I caught up them and sat on their back bumper blasting the horn.

I showed the Police the clip from my dash camera and they said they would have a word with the other party concerning their driving.

Without the camera footage, explanation and the officer saying...

"Typical Alfa".

...about the horn button getting stuck it would have been my word against theirs.

I'm not suggesting the cut and brake test were a deliberate attempt of a crash for cash but having failed at that were they tying to claim some kind of post traumatic rubbish due to having a horn (accidentally) blasted at them?

Is that the latest thing?

Take care out there guys.

[SlimJim16v]

I can't believe the Police even bothered to waste precious resources on this. s!

[BobSaunders]

1430hrs (ish) today 16/02/2018 new-ish White mercedes jumping the lights at Stockport pyramid roundabout to join the M60 westbound.

The the odd one or two jumping the lights is expected, it's a busy roundabout, people are impatient etc. it's Manchester. So you leave a bit of time before you pull away and you take care. Plus i had just driven through Stockport which in itself on a Friday is worth a medal.

However, this 'knob' left it that late that everyone had to brake quite hard.

We all then proceeded to watch as 'it' proceeded down the slip road to join the motorway in what can only be described as a rally fashion, and straight out to the third lane, after a pause in lane one. How 'it' achieved it without hitting anyone i will never know - possibly the plethora of brake lights from the cars trying to avoid 'it' being a clue...

Being a busy motorway, i eventually caught 'it' up as 'it' was parting ways from the M60 to join the M56, the traffic slows immensely allowing the outside lane to free-flow within reason, eventually one went past 'it' and obviously had to look across. Who was this monumental bell that thought it was acceptable to drive like a inconsiderate bell.

But, my eyes! the monumental knob could only be described as looking like a transgender clown monster with a bobble head, sweaty face, and sporting massive dark oversized glasses, all with a gelled slicked back salesman or trader look.. obviously i believe 'it' was aware who i was. I was person that was nice enough to brake to stop your mistake from ruining my weekend back on the roundabout...

I shook my head in disbelief, mostly to clear my eyes of what i had just seen.. Firstly how was this look fashionable? how could 'it' be allowed to drive? Why would the DVLA allow this imagery onto a photocard licence?! How did it pass the DVLA's strict no more than one head policy.

I carried on with my day, but i did glance back to see 'it' having a monumental fit involving middle fingers and swearing. It looked like a mans hands, but of someone that inadvertently moisturizes them through furious w**king sessions over a certain type of younger person pornography in 'it's' owners basement. Obviously 'it' was aghast that someone may have questioned 'it's driving style and possibly fashion.

Somewhat patiently, i flipped the indicator on, slowed, and pulled left a few cars up where there was a space.. at which point 'it's monumental fit appeared to stop and possibly if i am not mistaken 'it' may of sh*t itself... but i've no idea on that sort of thing and possibly mis-read it from a distance. However, i decided that possibly exfiltrating 'it's' lungs through a freshly opened chest cavity before the Police are able to examine 'it' would be a bad idea. So I carried on with my life and went home to my son, via the bank to drop a cheque in, and to Tesco's to grab some dinner for the family (Lasagne with some salad on the side if you are wondering, using pasta sheets however, but making our own sauce).

However, as we talk, my dashcam footage is being submitted to GMP. Never done this before. Never felt the need even in Manchester where monumental bell endry happens daily. But this thing was a complete bell and needs to be moved down a peg or two.. at least in the fashion sense.

Buy some new sun glasses dude, go on holiday, move out of your owners basement, slow down.

I'm just glad i wasn't on the motorbike... would have been a different outcome i expect.. one with me in hospital from being run over on the roundabout.