Top car DIY tip
Discussion
Plate spinner said:
Never let the battery go flat on a 986 Porsche Boxster. Ever.
The key will open the door to let you in. But the battery is in the boot, which needs the electrics to open. So to get to it you’ll have to take the whole mechanism apart along with most of the drivers side door sill.
Madness, utter madness.
Depends on whether your cigarette lighter socket is live when ignition off - if you could buy a CTEK charger and adapter and charge through that. The key will open the door to let you in. But the battery is in the boot, which needs the electrics to open. So to get to it you’ll have to take the whole mechanism apart along with most of the drivers side door sill.
Madness, utter madness.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/CTEK-CTE-56263-Cigarette-...
paranoid airbag said:
Bennet said:
gothatway said:
Zooks said:
Not a car tip but when connecting 10 lorry batteries up in series definitely don't use an uninsulated spanner and Definitely don't drop it.
Intrigued - why do you want 240V DC ?Scaring cats?
Plate spinner said:
McFarnsworth said:
tr7v8 said:
Plate spinner said:
Never let the battery go flat on a 986 Porsche Boxster. Ever.
The key will open the door to let you in. But the battery is in the boot, which needs the electrics to open. So to get to it you’ll have to take the whole mechanism apart along with most of the drivers side door sill.
Madness, utter madness.
Or use the emergency cable?The key will open the door to let you in. But the battery is in the boot, which needs the electrics to open. So to get to it you’ll have to take the whole mechanism apart along with most of the drivers side door sill.
Madness, utter madness.
eltawater said:
Pica-Pica said:
When changing brake pads, buy a cheap turkey-baster from a kitchen shop to draw some fluid from the master cylinder and avoid spillage. In general kitchen shops are useful and cheaper for fluid containers, e.g. ketchup bottles, disposable roasting trays etc.
Top tip if you have small children: Use one of the many old spare Calpol syringes for free 
Limpet said:
But perhaps the most useful tip of all - if you have a mk1 Focus needing attention to its suspension, and you don't have a good impact wrench, a blowtorch, and replacements on hand for every bolt you need to undo, just pay someone else to do the work!! 
Haynes manual in hand staring at an illustration of an M12 bolt with a beautifully prescribed helix of thread protruding snugly through a glistening locking nut. In what appears to resemble the exact same location on your pride and joy there is a flaky brown growth twice the size of the illustrated nut and indistinguishable from the parts around it. Despite Mr Haynes recommending a 19mm socket to slowly release the clamping force, it appears that even a 30mm socket needs a bit of persuasion to fit over this thing. And then that first application of torque to the ratchet knowing full well that you'll be met with no resistance whatsoever but will hear a faint crumbling sound from deep inside the socket. And now you have a slightly rounder lump but complete with shiny spots. Time to dig out some imperial sockets from the depths of the toolbox when you realise the metric system doesn't cater for the new shape you've just invented. 2 hours later, your socket set lies in ruin across the garage floor, you've gone through three grinding discs, burnt your forehead, can no longer open your left eye and you've almost cut your suspension arm in half but finally the f
ker is off. Refitting is a reversal of removal. 
Faust66 said:
Also: when you've removed the sump plug (26mm on my car) and you've put the half inch drive on your cam cover. DON'T knock it off whilst talking to a neighbour/swearing at a stuck oil filter and let it end up in an old washing up bowl filled with sump oil.
Even with a magnetic pick up too to fish it out, you'll still make a mess!
As a happy bonus, the ratchet handle in question is 13 odd years old (Sealey) and it taken a fair old bit of abuse over the years... the ratchet mechanism was getting a bit graunchy, but after the oil bath it's now lovely and smooth.
Result!
Managed to drop my 8mm allen key into 4 liters of well used 10w40 as well... at least it wont go rusty anytime soon Even with a magnetic pick up too to fish it out, you'll still make a mess!
As a happy bonus, the ratchet handle in question is 13 odd years old (Sealey) and it taken a fair old bit of abuse over the years... the ratchet mechanism was getting a bit graunchy, but after the oil bath it's now lovely and smooth.
Result!
Gad-Westy said:
Haynes manual in hand staring at an illustration of an M12 bolt with a beautifully prescribed helix of thread protruding snugly through a glistening locking nut. In what appears to resemble the exact same location on your pride and joy there is a flaky brown growth twice the size of the illustrated nut and indistinguishable from the parts around it. Despite Mr Haynes recommending a 19mm socket to slowly release the clamping force, it appears that even a 30mm socket needs a bit of persuasion to fit over this thing. And then that first application of torque to the ratchet knowing full well that you'll be met with no resistance whatsoever but will hear a faint crumbling sound from deep inside the socket. And now you have a slightly rounder lump but complete with shiny spots. Time to dig out some imperial sockets from the depths of the toolbox when you realise the metric system doesn't cater for the new shape you've just invented. 2 hours later, your socket set lies in ruin across the garage floor, you've gone through three grinding discs, burnt your forehead, can no longer open your left eye and you've almost cut your suspension arm in half but finally the fker is off. Refitting is a reversal of removal.
Alternatively, try removing the bumper off a peugeot 205, i was lucky enough to get one whole nut off the bolt without either fker is off. Refitting is a reversal of removal. king up the bumper (because off course using rectangular heads held in place by a recess in the thin plastic of the bumper is a good idea) or needing an angle grinder...ended up scrapping the damn thing after snapping, rounding off or otherwise ruining just about every bolt i came across
Edited by Vitorio on Monday 9th April 15:54
Pat H said:
Avoid repeatedly having to replace the timing belt and water pump on an Alfa 147 by simply purchasing a Ford instead.
Fun story, the ex, shortly after leaving me bought a mk1 focus, timing belt was waaaay past due, and as we were still on speaking terms i suggested a garage to carry out the work for her, as she was getting quite nervous at the tought of valves meeting pistons.Received a phonecall from her, apparently the apprentice mechanic got the job, proceded to fit things wrong, fired up engine and wrecked it...
The garage did do a head revamp and fixed the whole thing, but i found it quite funny nonetheless.gothatway said:
Intrigued - why do you want 240V DC ?
Sorry it was 10 x 12v/800a high cranking power batteries . It was for a 120v temporary battery pack for an electricity substation. Quite an impressive arc, melted the terminal posts right off most of the battery -ve terminals (and most of the spanner)
Edited by Zooks on Monday 9th April 16:18
When positioning you car on your driveway to commence a 2 day working session on refreshing the lower arms and associated rubber paraphernalia, be sure to make sure you either:
a) leave the up-and-over garage door closed
b) leave enough room between the door and the bonnet of the car so you can close the fecking thing.
Try moving a car with zero front end suspension components back 4" so you can close the garage door!
a) leave the up-and-over garage door closed
b) leave enough room between the door and the bonnet of the car so you can close the fecking thing.
Try moving a car with zero front end suspension components back 4" so you can close the garage door!
not me, but my best mate.
when welding your 1970 VW camper van up, whilst laid underneath it: don't hold the welding torch (gas) to one side to admire yr work.
thus cutting the handbrake cables.
to find out its not in gear or chocked enough.
and on a slope. A big slope, with an acre of land/garden beneath it.
to find the van drive over you (amazingly not trapping, pinning, crushing you) and gain huge pace to then nose drive straight into a victorian reservoir conduit, some 10' x 10' deep/wide, line with stone blocks.
to then need the adjacent farmer to have to drag it out with a tractor, its in so chuffing deep. and nose first !!!
when welding your 1970 VW camper van up, whilst laid underneath it: don't hold the welding torch (gas) to one side to admire yr work.
thus cutting the handbrake cables.
to find out its not in gear or chocked enough.
and on a slope. A big slope, with an acre of land/garden beneath it.
to find the van drive over you (amazingly not trapping, pinning, crushing you) and gain huge pace to then nose drive straight into a victorian reservoir conduit, some 10' x 10' deep/wide, line with stone blocks.
to then need the adjacent farmer to have to drag it out with a tractor, its in so chuffing deep. and nose first !!!
When working near car batteries remember to take off your watch with the metal bracelet that you always wear. When it shorts against the live terminal and bodywork its gets damned hot damned quickly and is a barsteward to remove quickly!
When skimming cylinder heads and calculating compression ratios make sure you double check the calculations and when you run it don't just ignore those funny pinking sounds. Petrol engines don't much like pump gasoline and 15:1 compression .....(neither did the folks following behind when it punched a hole through the top of the piston and obliterated the world behind in a dense smokescreen filled with oil).
When skimming cylinder heads and calculating compression ratios make sure you double check the calculations and when you run it don't just ignore those funny pinking sounds. Petrol engines don't much like pump gasoline and 15:1 compression .....(neither did the folks following behind when it punched a hole through the top of the piston and obliterated the world behind in a dense smokescreen filled with oil).
When adjusting the preload on a Hagon coil over on your Bonneville, try not to grip the damper by the spring seat.
That way, when the C spanner slips, the spring won't attach your hand to the spring seat by the skin between your thumb and index finger.
Failing to follow this simple instruction helped me to discover that fresh blood makes a most effective lubricant.
That way, when the C spanner slips, the spring won't attach your hand to the spring seat by the skin between your thumb and index finger.
Failing to follow this simple instruction helped me to discover that fresh blood makes a most effective lubricant.
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