Best smoker barges 1-5 large [Vol 14]

[E65Ross]

r129sl said:

bolidemichael said:

This is fist pumpingly brilliant and incredibly arousing, so I suspect that you'll be a magnet to anyone with at least a single eyeball. California Sage is, for me, an extremely flattering colour on AMs. I lusted after a Vantage in California Sage after indulging in around 72 hours of aspirational dreaming, before being presented with the invoice for the new school term.

Leave the sodding Continental alone, though I am simultaneously repulsed and beguiled by its gauche bruteishness.

The Aston is a thousand times nicer than the Bentley and, it seems, more reliable to boot. Unfortunately, the notional fanny magnet fund is spoken for three times over by a nasty combination of school fees, VAT and Chambers expenses. bks. I think I'll get a SC430. Or maybe just polish up the ageing SL.

Friend of mine had a DB9 when they were basically a brand new model. It was reliable in the sense it didn't break down..... But it certainly needed a fair chunk of work.

I've never been a fan of the SC430. I think the styling is awful (subjective, admittedly), but they aren't very sporty or, from what I gather, not very comfortable either. I suspect a Mercedes R230 SL is a much better machine, albeit less reliable.

[0a]

E65Ross said:

Having driven a W124 300E, I liked it..... But it's not quite what I'm after. I want something with a few more creature comforts and a bit more oomph. I think I may save for an LS460. I wouldn't mind a 430 but the styling is a bit.... Meh. I've heard they're wonderful barges though, so who knows. I'm wondering whether I'd wish it had a bit more power, it's about 20% or so down on the 745i, whereas the 460 is is a bit more powerful than a 750i, whilst still being reliable cars, but they have a weakness with the control arms.... But that aside they seem very well put together.

Decisions.

I was merely jesting of course!

One thing I would say about my LS400 is that it would not have benefitted from more power. It was the car that I have owned which I drove the slowest in all conditions - it just didn’t show any interest in being driven quickly. So smooth and nippy enough though when needed.

I also fancy a long distance, more refined car than my w124 - and am thinking about a Jaguar XJ (is it the x350 which is the newer one from my x308). I love the way the older jags look though...

Who knows. I will probably but a Fiat Panda 100hp instead.

[mccrackenj]

MercedesClassic said:

mccrackenj said:

Thanks MC.

Just spent the entire day giving the interior of Jazz 2 (the 2007 one) an extremely thorough scrub, every nook & cranny. In an odd way I’m actually looking forward to driving it now. The idea of a 12 yr old £975 Honda is quite liberating. Badly needs 4 decent tyres though, it’s got a mixture of different sizes and all crappy brands, so they’re all for the bin soon.

For new tyres I find it hard to pass Jim Morrow near Lisbane or Gilnahirk tyres now based beside the Orange Aston. Both owned by nice gents.
Although I've previously got part worns from Comber tyres which were top brands, still had the orange lines on them for about £30!

Aagh! You’ve reminded me about the E320 again!!! It’s been in Gilnahirk Tyres for the last month.

I’ll be getting the tyres from them though, despite them fixing a slow puncture on the last Jazz’s winter tyres and refitting the tyre “inside out”. The 1 tyre on it’s own is fine but the tyres are directional and now when fitted to the car 3 are OK and 1 is going backwards. I only noticed it today when I fitted them to Jazz 2.

ETA: not that it’s relevant to 99% of members here but in the interests of accuracy I have to say it wasn’t Gilnahirk, it was a different tyre place that did it.

Edited by mccrackenj on Sunday 6th October 22:23

[bolidemichael]

Johnny Raydome said:

bolidemichael said:

Leave the sodding Continental alone, though I am simultaneously repulsed and beguiled by its gauche brutishness.

I think you've nailed it here; a most astute and well-phrased observation, Sir.

Thank you. Even for a brief moment, to capture the easy wit of Barge-ists, is momentous. I blame the petrol in the air at the excellent Bicester Scramble today.

r129sl said:

bolidemichael said:

This is fist pumpingly brilliant and incredibly arousing, so I suspect that you'll be a magnet to anyone with at least a single eyeball. California Sage is, for me, an extremely flattering colour on AMs. I lusted after a Vantage in California Sage after indulging in around 72 hours of aspirational dreaming, before being presented with the invoice for the new school term.

Leave the sodding Continental alone, though I am simultaneously repulsed and beguiled by its gauche bruteishness.

The Aston is a thousand times nicer than the Bentley and, it seems, more reliable to boot. Unfortunately, the notional fanny magnet fund is spoken for three times over by a nasty combination of school fees, VAT and Chambers expenses. bks. I think I'll get a SC430. Or maybe just polish up the ageing SL.

For when reality sucks, there's a club waiting for us:

Edited by bolidemichael on Sunday 6th October 21:45

[r129sl]

bolidemichael said:

For when reality sucks, there's a club waiting for us:

I'm the fking lifetime president of the midlife crisis club, believe you me. An Aston Martin would be small beer. But that is a discussion for the match.com thread. If it is still going.

[Krikkit]

stickleback123 said:

Raino144 said:

For some people receiving a car allowance with work, the allowance can come with stipulations as above... certain type of car, age etc...

Otherwise it is reverse ‘man maths’...

Who among us can honestly say that if we owned a solitary barge as our only car it would never have let you down once in the last 3 years? Or that it hasn't kicked you in the nuts with a four figure bill from nowhere? Or it's ever had every single thing working perfectly like a new car for more than a year at a stretch?

I love the barge buying man maths but PCP/PCH is so cheap that if you're not doing this as a hobby it makes FAR more sense than buying a middle aged used car, let alone a barge.

When you have a barge mostly working, the equipment that still does will outnumber the gadgets on a lease car at the same level.

One of my mates is leading a very generic Golf with a diesel engine for 200-odd quid a month. It's just about tolerable on the move, but it had no character at all. Over the same period my w211 was better spec, less than half the price, and never had a failure to proceed.

For the same money as his golf I could've run a twin turbo V12 S class and have money left over for the extra fuel!

[E65Ross]

0a said:

I was merely jesting of course!

One thing I would say about my LS400 is that it would not have benefitted from more power. It was the car that I have owned which I drove the slowest in all conditions - it just didn’t show any interest in being driven quickly. So smooth and nippy enough though when needed.

I also fancy a long distance, more refined car than my w124 - and am thinking about a Jaguar XJ (is it the x350 which is the newer one from my x308). I love the way the older jags look though...

Who knows. I will probably but a Fiat Panda 100hp instead.

I think most XJs look good. I quite like the current one... Although I believe it's due for replacement soon.

I suspect the 460 will steer a fair bit better than the 400, but i also suspect it'll ride very comfortably indeed.

[bolidemichael]

r129sl said:

bolidemichael said:

For when reality sucks, there's a club waiting for us:

I'm the fking lifetime president of the midlife crisis club, believe you me. An Aston Martin would be small beer. But that is a discussion for the match.com thread. If it is still going.

Do consider coming along to the Loser's conference. I can't promise to make you feel much better about your mismatched personal expectations. However, we could goad you into being the highest bidder on something spectacular. You could win the bid and win the moment, too. That's what life's about!

Edited by bolidemichael on Sunday 6th October 22:43

[0a]

E65Ross said:

I suspect the 460 will steer a fair bit better than the 400, but i also suspect it'll ride very comfortably indeed.

It struck me as a philosophy thing - steering feel and driving pleasure removed for refinement being part of the lexus thing! Very relaxing.

[W00DY]

DB9s and Conti GTs are both cars I think I ought to dislike, but the truth of it is that they're bloody lovely.

Who was after an E39, here's one with very rare and lovely heated velour that looks great.

523i

[bolidemichael]

W00DY said:

DB9s and Conti GTs are both cars I think I ought to dislike, but the truth of it is that they're bloody lovely.

Who was after an E39, here's one with very rare and lovely heated velour that looks great.

523i

Link doesn't work for me

[W00DY]

bolidemichael said:

W00DY said:

DB9s and Conti GTs are both cars I think I ought to dislike, but the truth of it is that they're bloody lovely.

Who was after an E39, here's one with very rare and lovely heated velour that looks great.

523i

Link doesn't work for me

Fixed. Stupid fking swear filter.

[bolidemichael]

W00DY said:

bolidemichael said:

W00DY said:

DB9s and Conti GTs are both cars I think I ought to dislike, but the truth of it is that they're bloody lovely.

Who was after an E39, here's one with very rare and lovely heated velour that looks great.

523i

Link doesn't work for me

Fixed. Stupid fking swear filter.

One problem fixed, another introduced

[Fatlad1973]

stickleback123 said:

Raino144 said:

For some people receiving a car allowance with work, the allowance can come with stipulations as above... certain type of car, age etc...

Otherwise it is reverse ‘man maths’...

Who among us can honestly say that if we owned a solitary barge as our only car it would never have let you down once in the last 3 years? Or that it hasn't kicked you in the nuts with a four figure bill from nowhere? Or it's ever had every single thing working perfectly like a new car for more than a year at a stretch?

I love the barge buying man maths but PCP/PCH is so cheap that if you're not doing this as a hobby it makes FAR more sense than buying a middle aged used car, let alone a barge.

Well my 2011 Merc 350cdi has never failed to proceed, has cost £900 on servicing and about £300 in new brake bits over 3+ years and 32,000 miles (from 89k to 121k). It has lost about £7,000 in depreciation and I guess loan interest has been £1,800. So that's £10k in about 3.3 years, or £250 pcm. I reckon that compares well with a PCP/PCH. I'm hoping the next 3 years will be cheaper as depreciation will be much lower and it feels really well sorted so my head is in the sand re likely borkage (admittedly there's a broken rear spring that ought to be fixed, but the Man says it's not urgent).

[bolidemichael]

Fatlad1973 said:

stickleback123 said:

Raino144 said:

For some people receiving a car allowance with work, the allowance can come with stipulations as above... certain type of car, age etc...

Otherwise it is reverse ‘man maths’...

Who among us can honestly say that if we owned a solitary barge as our only car it would never have let you down once in the last 3 years? Or that it hasn't kicked you in the nuts with a four figure bill from nowhere? Or it's ever had every single thing working perfectly like a new car for more than a year at a stretch?

I love the barge buying man maths but PCP/PCH is so cheap that if you're not doing this as a hobby it makes FAR more sense than buying a middle aged used car, let alone a barge.

Well my 2011 Merc 350cdi has never failed to proceed, has cost £900 on servicing and about £300 in new brake bits over 3+ years and 32,000 miles (from 89k to 121k). It has lost about £7,000 in depreciation and I guess loan interest has been £1,800. So that's £10k in about 3.3 years, or £250 pcm. I reckon that compares well with a PCP/PCH. I'm hoping the next 3 years will be cheaper as depreciation will be much lower and it feels really well sorted so my head is in the sand re likely borkage (admittedly there's a broken rear spring that ought to be fixed, but the Man says it's not urgent).

The barely concealed air of self-delusion is another key trait of the barge-iste.

[mattyprice4004]

olly755 said:

Plus, aren’t any Phaeton parts an arm and a leg and a left bk anyway?

Yes, from experience!
But not quite £1500 per disc...

[Macron]

545i touring for £3k! Advert has annoying exclamation marks! With 126k, guess the smoky bits could have been done, or at this price they could be and it's still a good price.

http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/2019...

[Pothole]

CharlesdeGaulle said:

I'm interested to know whether your ladies-of-a-certain-age in a DB9 are the same ladies-of-a-certain-age that, hypothetically, one would attract in a Lexus SC430? Not that I'm planning on competing with you - I know my limits after all - but I'd like to know my target zone before committing to one or the other.

There is a school of thought that women notice nothing of these things, although it's telling (and unsurprising) that Big Ben's wealth provoked some interest. I have no wealth so don't have to worry too much about attracting the 'wrong sort'. To provide some colour, one of the European types that's currently in my social orbit, a generously-bosom'd Mediterranean lady, drives a Corsa. Badly; very, very badly. But with the additional airbags it might be worth the risk.

According to something which caught my eye some years ago, some of the most generously-bosomed ladies in Europe are from an archipelago of small islands plonked between Sicily and the North African coast...in my experience they are also some of the most irritatingly bonkers. Proceed with caution if your potential targets hales from those climes. Otherwise, bon chance!

[nobrakes]

Lwb S320 grey on grey

It’s a 2000 car for 5 bags, but on only 46k is in mint condition

https://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/201...

So, how does that compare with a younger average mileage S class for the same money? Badly?

[Macron]

Crap ad, 143k, and over thread at 6k, but, who knew this shape XK was getting so close to range?
http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/2019...