Best smoker barges 1-5 large [Vol 15]

[CharlesdeGaulle]

cornershop said:

Barge or not, I love this:

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/333568950388

LPG. Ugh.

[Emeye]

Non-furloughed, non-coronavirused individual seeking potentially ruinous barge for short or long term relationship. Petrol and V8 preferred. Must have five seats, seven would be handy. Social Distancing restrict willingness to travel. Rusty Mercedes need not apply.

[Stuart70]

r129sl said:

Macron said:

Usget said:

If I may venture to add something to Thread canon... I think that most cars follow a similar curve, and the E60 is just working its way out of the "Trough of Chavness". Some of the rarer examples are definitely thread material, but there are still too many with stick-on Halfords tat and wonky fake M badges.

Interested in the beardarrati's view on this theory.

Excellent graph.

As the owner of a 56 plate E60 530i Sport thanks to a FiL who rather demanded I buy it from him, at the retail end of the spectrum, which I may occasionally whine about, I’d say the flat bit should certainly be longer, and I’m not sure we’re in the uptick just yet! Not helped with most being derv, and big petrols suffering from BMW-V8-ness.

I know it's not five yet (hey, it's 5 o'clock somewhere), but do you think we should call that graph the "recumbent redhead curve"? The line seems to start at the feet...

No? Just me?

Lovely knees, but I like a bit more up top, if you see what I mean.
On holiday today and it is well past 5pm in Moscow; so drinking has already commenced in earnest.
Admittedly I am in Kent, but that is just a detail.

[cornershop]

CharlesdeGaulle said:

cornershop said:

Barge or not, I love this:

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/333568950388

LPG. Ugh.

Yes, aside from that

[ian316]

Atomicpunk on readers cars has just given me armrest envy, you can keep your buttons I'll take the cut glass tumblers and flask

[nblr]

[Prinny]

CharlesdeGaulle said:

And the gold e60 is ace.

For posterity, (and a t-shirt)!

The wheels are the same as I have on the 7, the ‘individual’ range - not only do they suit the car (seen them on e6x 5/6/7 now and they work on all), but for the discerning peddler, they’re typically lighter & wider vs. the equivalent ordinary wheel. Reduction of unsprung weight is always a good thing!

Good to hear I’m not the only one working, but best wishes to all regardless of situation.

Since I can’t do much car fettling (the 7’s the only one that needs a bit of pampering but it’s not here, SL1 blowy aside), I have this afternoon delved into ‘that’ kitchen drawer. I now have watch batteries on order to see if I can re-vitalise my old watches. I got one as an 18th, the Timex is a cheapy, and the plastic fantastic Casio was for sailing, etc - that’s the one in a bazillion bits.


The CW on the left is my current watch - fascinating to see how watch size has increased the past 20/30 years! For anyone interested, the batteries don’t arrive until this time next week, so progress will be slow... Since I don’t have wood & oil (and an xjs),this will have to do instead.

[JOB2.5-16]

dscam said:

Love the science applied to the ‘barge curve’.

Not sure how I feel about the E60 - the looks certainly have grown on me since they were new but I still think in most guises the interiors are quite low-rent.

There are exceptions and we’ve had this thread-busting 550i (manual!) at least once before. It’s a car I remember seeing in person when brand new in the dealer showroom and I think it was up for around £50k, but was told there’d be a chunky discount to take it away (cancelled order iirc):



https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/353044428336

Edited by dscam on Friday 17th April 14:32

In a world if silver and black 520ds that's absolutely gorgeous.

I would imagine like any mid 2000s BMW it's got the potential to be a rollercoaster ride of pain and suffering but at least you couldn't be accused of being boring.

[MorganP104]

dscam said:

Love the science applied to the ‘barge curve’.

Not sure how I feel about the E60 - the looks certainly have grown on me since they were new but I still think in most guises the interiors are quite low-rent.

There are exceptions and we’ve had this thread-busting 550i (manual!) at least once before. It’s a car I remember seeing in person when brand new in the dealer showroom and I think it was up for around £50k, but was told there’d be a chunky discount to take it away (cancelled order iirc):



https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/353044428336

Edited by dscam on Friday 17th April 14:32

Ten-and-a-half bags for a V8 BMW where I'm expected to change my own gears?!?!? I think not, good sir, and bid you good day. GOOD DAY, I SAY!

As with all self-righteous rants, there are exceptions. In this case, I'd stir my own stick for an E39 M5. Obviously.

[CharlesdeGaulle]

JOB2.5-16 said:

dscam said:

Love the science applied to the ‘barge curve’.

Not sure how I feel about the E60 - the looks certainly have grown on me since they were new but I still think in most guises the interiors are quite low-rent.

There are exceptions and we’ve had this thread-busting 550i (manual!) at least once before. It’s a car I remember seeing in person when brand new in the dealer showroom and I think it was up for around £50k, but was told there’d be a chunky discount to take it away (cancelled order iirc):



https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/353044428336

Edited by dscam on Friday 17th April 14:32

In a world if silver and black 520ds that's absolutely gorgeous.

I would imagine like any mid 2000s BMW it's got the potential to be a rollercoaster ride of pain and suffering but at least you couldn't be accused of being boring.

The seller's pics indicate that he's either trading or similarly afflicted as us; either way it's an appealing driveway combo.

[ian316]

MorganP104 said:

Ten-and-a-half bags for a V8 BMW where I'm expected to change my own gears?!?!? I think not, good sir, and bid you good day. GOOD DAY, I SAY!

As with all self-righteous rants, there are exceptions. In this case, I'd stir my own stick for an E39 M5. Obviously.

Glad it's not just me with changeyourowngearits

[StuntmanMike]

ian316 said:

MorganP104 said:

Ten-and-a-half bags for a V8 BMW where I'm expected to change my own gears?!?!? I think not, good sir, and bid you good day. GOOD DAY, I SAY!

As with all self-righteous rants, there are exceptions. In this case, I'd stir my own stick for an E39 M5. Obviously.

Glad it's not just me with changeyourowngearits

As a E60 550 owner I think an auto suits the car, I certainly would not be looking for a stick.
That one looks stunning, but it’s to dear, got st wheels and needs to be a sport for me.

[MorganP104]

ian316 said:

MorganP104 said:

Ten-and-a-half bags for a V8 BMW where I'm expected to change my own gears?!?!? I think not, good sir, and bid you good day. GOOD DAY, I SAY!

As with all self-righteous rants, there are exceptions. In this case, I'd stir my own stick for an E39 M5. Obviously.

Glad it's not just me with changeyourowngearits

I am so averse to changing my own gears, for many years back where I used to live, my mates' nickname for me was "Captain Ladylicence"!

[ian316]

MorganP104 said:

ian316 said:

MorganP104 said:

Ten-and-a-half bags for a V8 BMW where I'm expected to change my own gears?!?!? I think not, good sir, and bid you good day. GOOD DAY, I SAY!

As with all self-righteous rants, there are exceptions. In this case, I'd stir my own stick for an E39 M5. Obviously.

Glad it's not just me with changeyourowngearits

I am so averse to changing my own gears, for many years back where I used to live, my mates' nickname for me was "Captain Ladylicence"!

I just can't imagine it anymore even the trucks are all 12 speed autos, manuals don't seem to make any sense these days unless you live somewhere with empty twisty roads or do track days

[Usget]

Emeye said:

Non-furloughed, non-coronavirused individual seeking potentially ruinous barge for short or long term relationship. Petrol and V8 preferred. Must have five seats, seven would be handy. Social Distancing restrict willingness to travel. Rusty Mercedes need not apply.

Can one of the four passengers sit in the boot? Because this is nice.


https://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/202...

[BlueMR2]

tobinen said:

Damn and blast - housewives' fave GP ruins my plans!

Your not washing the car, your detailing.

Which essentially means you'll be outside 4 times as long, doh!

Northbrook said:

r129sl said:

the "recumbent redhead curve"

The graph doesn't encompass the stabby arms, though.

If you touch anything in the 2 boxes you automatically get stabbed.

Edited by BlueMR2 on Friday 17th April 17:22

[Usget]

And since redheads seem to be on-topic for some reason, I present a gingercator-equipped BMW with orange wood and a ginger stepchild of an engine. Nevertheless, for £1 less than thread, this could be a nice thing...?

(You know those adverts where the writer thinks he's Setwright and goes on and on and on about loads of irrelevant aspects of the car? This is not one of those adverts).

https://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/202...

[BlueMR2]

bmthnick1981 said:

dscam said:

BlueMR2 said:

dscam said:

I know this was posted recently but has just hit my radar.

I really don’t have any need for it beyond the urge to scratch the Mercedes V12 itch. It seems like this might not be the worst way to do it. It might however be a terrible way to do it.

I’m not a rich man but I could kind of rationalise £4K.

Potentially carefully photographed to not reveal the registration so cannot check MOT history etc.

Any thoughts from the thread?



https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/124150766505

I think it's reg plate is LA03GRX . Only has MOT history or the last 5 years for some reason (import maybe?) and hasn't been driven much.

Also the speaker grill and drivers? seat controls in the door look filthy.

I wouldn't mind a go in one though.

Thanks, that’s helpful and interesting. Can I ask how you ascertained the reg?

I suspect it won’t be a minter but about 95% of the asking price is probably fairly accounted for by that engine...

I've got one of these, had it around 12 months now, great cars, VERY fast. Suspension and coil packs are the main issue. There are 24 spark plugs and they probably dont all get changed when they should putting more strain on the coil packs apparently. You can now get the coil packs rebuilt in the US for a reasonable price. The hydraulic suspension can be a nuisance, the fluid and filter should be changed periodically. Mine blew a hose off a month or so ago, rendering car undriveable but it was a relatively cheap fix.

I think with only 100,000 miles the silver car looks very good value at £4k. Just be prepared to throw a couple of grand at it straight away if needed.

https://www.carsite.co.uk/used-car/mercedes-benz/s-class/mtz_14693_56629225?

It's listed here.

[John Locke]

Clutch pedals are curiosities belonging to the past, like levers to adjust mixture, and ignition timing; does anyone want those, even for trackdays?

[BlueMR2]

Usget said:

Emeye said:

Non-furloughed, non-coronavirused individual seeking potentially ruinous barge for short or long term relationship. Petrol and V8 preferred. Must have five seats, seven would be handy. Social Distancing restrict willingness to travel. Rusty Mercedes need not apply.

Can one of the four passengers sit in the boot? Because this is nice.


https://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/202...

If it can't dance, is it even a barge.