One single thing that makes you think "knob" Vol 5

[donkmeister]

Every day a journey said:

Mr Kia SUV thing this morning.

About 515

Deserted M27.

I’m pootling along in lane 1at 70, Angry Kia man plodding along in lane three of four at 60.

I just carried on in lane one (literally no other car anywhere near). Once I’ve passed him he decides that only then would he speed up and move into lane one about 2ft from my arse.

Lights flashing, horn blaring.

Knobber.

I have noticed a tendency for MLMers to treat L1 as an extension of the sliproad, to the point where they'll do a "nah fk you" manoeuvre to traffic that was correctly in L1, and move over regardless of whether there is a space, presumably because they think anyone driving properly is pushing in.

[yakka]

Bubble headed Ninnies with big barky dogs off the lead that run up to kids. They then say “He’s only saying hello “. To a kid one of these mangy mutts are like one of those dogs of war off Tolkein. Scares them for life

[Pitre]

aguywalksintoabar said:

It has to be one headlight or brake light. Been driving at the same time on the same stretch so see a number of cars regularly. There is one and it’s been coming up to a year with one headlight! Let’s hope the MOT sorts it.

Quite likely to be French, it's mandatory there.

[Muddle238]

yakka said:

Bubble headed Ninnies with big barky dogs off the lead that run up to kids. They then say “He’s only saying hello “. To a kid one of these mangy mutts are like one of those dogs of war off Tolkein. Scares them for life

This. Or the other one, “he’s very friendly!” - like buggery is he friendly, it’s jumping up and down, muddy paws on my trousers, slobbering on my top, bouncing up at me. If I salivated on your jacket and left a muddy footprint on your knee, but claimed I was being “friendly”, you would be thoroughly pissed off.

[Monkeylegend]

Muddle238 said:

This. Or the other one, “he’s very friendly!” - like buggery is he friendly, it’s jumping up and down, muddy paws on my trousers, slobbering on my top, bouncing up at me. If I salivated on your jacket and left a muddy footprint on your knee, but claimed I was being “friendly”, you would be thoroughly pissed off.

Shock news.

Dogs show their friendliness differently to the way humans do.

They also give unconditional love, unlike humans.

They also st outside, unlike many humans.

[donkmeister]

Muddle238 said:

This. Or the other one, “he’s very friendly!” - like buggery is he friendly, it’s jumping up and down, muddy paws on my trousers, slobbering on my top, bouncing up at me. If I salivated on your jacket and left a muddy footprint on your knee, but claimed I was being “friendly”, you would be thoroughly pissed off.

My SIL has a dog, and we often go for family walks. This sort of thing is a massive bone of contention between SIL and FIL, where FIL has a laissez-faire attitude about what the dog does and would quite happily let him go up and bug people/people's dogs, even if the people are in the middle of a meal. SIL quite rightly won't, but it occasionally leads to public arguments.

[biggbn]

People who judge others on what they drive. All a bit pathetic ain't it?

[SteveStrange]

Muddle238 said:

yakka said:

Bubble headed Ninnies with big barky dogs off the lead that run up to kids. They then say “He’s only saying hello “. To a kid one of these mangy mutts are like one of those dogs of war off Tolkein. Scares them for life

This. Or the other one, “he’s very friendly!” - like buggery is he friendly, it’s jumping up and down, muddy paws on my trousers, slobbering on my top, bouncing up at me. If I salivated on your jacket and left a muddy footprint on your knee, but claimed I was being “friendly”, you would be thoroughly pissed off.

+1 to both.

[Tommo87]

Monkeylegend said:

Muddle238 said:

This. Or the other one, “he’s very friendly!” - like buggery is he friendly, it’s jumping up and down, muddy paws on my trousers, slobbering on my top, bouncing up at me. If I salivated on your jacket and left a muddy footprint on your knee, but claimed I was being “friendly”, you would be thoroughly pissed off.

Shock news.

Dogs show their friendliness differently to the way humans do.

They also give unconditional love, unlike humans.

They also st outside, unlike many humans.

It’s neither shock news or justification for owners not to train their dogs to behave.

[Triumph Man]

Monkeylegend said:

Muddle238 said:

This. Or the other one, “he’s very friendly!” - like buggery is he friendly, it’s jumping up and down, muddy paws on my trousers, slobbering on my top, bouncing up at me. If I salivated on your jacket and left a muddy footprint on your knee, but claimed I was being “friendly”, you would be thoroughly pissed off.

Shock news.

Dogs show their friendliness differently to the way humans do.

They also give unconditional love, unlike humans.

They also st outside, unlike many humans.

I get the love for dogs, but this is a classic case of the owner not being properly in control of their dog. I'm trying to break two generations of people scared of dogs (my wife and her mother) now we have a daughter, and dog owners like the above do not help! As I say I love dogs but I'd be pissed off if one ran up to me and jumped up at me.

[LunarOne]

yakka said:

Bubble headed Ninnies with big barky dogs off the lead that run up to kids. They then say “He’s only saying hello “. To a kid one of these mangy mutts are like one of those dogs of war off Tolkein. Scares them for life

My friend is exactly like that, and I walk with her regularly while she has two dogs of her own plus a friend of hers' dog. He gets very stressed when off the lead, but when he does want off, she encourages it - which I quite understand. However, he barks like crazy constantly when off lead. If he sees strangers in the distance he'll run up to them barking the whole way and then run back to us, still barking. She has her 'apology' ready, which is always "he's just saying hello". Most people don't seem to mind but I can tell that some do. I've suggested that he needs a dog psychologist as it's not normal behaviour to get so barky off the lead, but she says he's a Schnauzer and they all do that. He's a rescue dog and I can see why!

[COM31E]

I must admit as a dog owner, I cringe when I see people allowing their dog to jump up at strangers. The issue I have with mine is he believes every human walking towards him should have a dog

[Alex_225]

Muddle238 said:

yakka said:

Bubble headed Ninnies with big barky dogs off the lead that run up to kids. They then say “He’s only saying hello “. To a kid one of these mangy mutts are like one of those dogs of war off Tolkein. Scares them for life

This. Or the other one, “he’s very friendly!” - like buggery is he friendly, it’s jumping up and down, muddy paws on my trousers, slobbering on my top, bouncing up at me. If I salivated on your jacket and left a muddy footprint on your knee, but claimed I was being “friendly”, you would be thoroughly pissed off.

Completely agree! My youngest daughter is terrified of dogs, no idea why she's just always been worried by them. I wish no harm on any animal but I don't particularly like dogs so when I'm out I don't want one sniffing my b*llocks or running up to me or the family.

The whole, 'he's friendly' is crap too. I'm quite friendly (despite this post saying otherwise) so would they like me to run up to them and start annoying them. No, so f*** off dog! haha

[Hol]

Alex_225 said:

Muddle238 said:

yakka said:

Bubble headed Ninnies with big barky dogs off the lead that run up to kids. They then say “He’s only saying hello “. To a kid one of these mangy mutts are like one of those dogs of war off Tolkein. Scares them for life

This. Or the other one, “he’s very friendly!” - like buggery is he friendly, it’s jumping up and down, muddy paws on my trousers, slobbering on my top, bouncing up at me. If I salivated on your jacket and left a muddy footprint on your knee, but claimed I was being “friendly”, you would be thoroughly pissed off.

Completely agree! My youngest daughter is terrified of dogs, no idea why she's just always been worried by them. I wish no harm on any animal but I don't particularly like dogs so when I'm out I don't want one sniffing my b*llocks or running up to me or the family.

The whole, 'he's friendly' is crap too. I'm quite friendly (despite this post saying otherwise) so would they like me to run up to them and start annoying them. No, so f*** off dog! haha

I have never had a fear of dogs, but I think I understand where people are coming from, and I don’t disagree.

[21st Century Man]

Muddle238 said:

“he’s very friendly!” - like buggery is he friendly, it’s jumping up and down, muddy paws on my trousers, slobbering on my top, bouncing up at me. If I salivated on your jacket and left a muddy footprint on your knee, but claimed I was being “friendly”, you would be thoroughly pissed off.

Worst example of that for me was many years ago waiting in traffic due to some unknown delay, bloke with his dog was walking down the road and explaining the delay to some drivers, came to me with my window down, dog jumped up at the car, paws scrabbling away at the window ledge and door panel, so pleased and excited to see me. No way would the scratches polish out. Somebody kicked the door panel in a week later though after a road rage incident.

[Red9zero]

21st Century Man said:

Worst example of that for me was many years ago waiting in traffic due to some unknown delay, bloke with his dog was walking down the road and explaining the delay to some drivers, came to me with my window down, dog jumped up at the car, paws scrabbling away at the window ledge and door panel, so pleased and excited to see me. No way would the scratches polish out. Somebody kicked the door panel in a week later though after a road rage incident.

A friend used to let their dog do that. Fair enough if someone doesn't give a fk about their car, but some of us do. I say that as a dog owner too. Luckily he is only small, but I would never let him do that.

[yakka]

Walking across a field on a footpath when 2 black Labradors came racing up to me and missus. They barked and jumped snapping at us for ages before the owner called them back. I was properly shaken and the missus terrified, she won’t entertain doing that walk again even though this was long enough ago for the dogs to be cat food by now.

[Cold]

People who scrape your car in a car park then bugger off without leaving a note.

Shame (for you) about all the high quality cctv everywhere in the car park, Ms 1 Series driver. Your plate and your mug are easily identifiable throughout your two and a half minute visit to the car park this morning.
I'm just dialling your insurance company right now.

[Hol]

Cold said:

People who scrape your car in a car park then bugger off without leaving a note.

Shame (for you) about all the high quality cctv everywhere in the car park, Ms 1 Series driver. Your plate and your mug are easily identifiable throughout your two and a half minute visit to the car park this morning.
I'm just dialling your insurance company right now.

Old or young driver?

[Cold]

Hol said:

Old or young driver?

Middle aged. Mid 40s I'd suggest.