Best smoker barges 1-5 large [Vol 18]

[B'stard Child]

tobinen said:

The first quarter of 2021 is done, here's the summary:

Barge Purchases 2021

Bargista	Forecourt/other pic	Barge
B'stard Child	06/03	Insignia

Barge count 2021

barge	quantity
Insignia	1

Insignia (co-ownership is fun) The "famous" Sump oil pick up seal covered here - just in time I reckon

https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...

Although if it starts knocking in 500 miles it will have been just to late!!!

[bolidemichael]

Nicks90 said:

olly755 said:

Macron said:

1999 Disco V8 in Epsom (?) green with sub 100k. £4k. Lovely.

https://www.carandclassic.co.uk/car/C1330073

That's really nice.

Want.

I wouldn't touch a D2 with someone else's thingy, never mind my own.
Yes if it's fitted with ACE they handle great. Not Comfortable great, just not fall over at the first corner great. The interior is more austin allegro than jag, boot space is actually crap in the 7 seat versions, they are slow and thirsty and they rust like you wouldn't believe. V8 can easily give single figure mpg too. Or go td5 and watch glaciers go faster and still only do low 20mpg and suffer diesel-dick vibrations.
Woeful cars. Wife loved hers, I hated fixing it. My defender was more reliable and I did offoad competitions in that once a month bouncing it off rocks and through bogs as well as daily driving it......
If anyone - ANYONE - Considers a D2 as a barge, give your head a wobble and go look at a p38 rangie. That would be more reliable, less rusty and actually drive nice in comparison

Top ranting.

[bolidemichael]

Car_driver said:

bolidemichael said:

Here's another example of a well kept Cayenne with black alloys (current owner's choice)

Yes, I saw that, an interesting thread. That car is lovely (even if 4x4s are not your thing).
However, the "thing" for sale for sale is ridiculous (gts badge, strange writing, neons, bumper from a newer model) and its mileage has been adjusted (according to the MOT history). The asking price is silly too.

Stop ranting

[CharlesdeGaulle]

B'stard Child said:

tobinen said:

The first quarter of 2021 is done, here's the summary:

Barge Purchases 2021

Bargista	Forecourt/other pic	Barge
B'stard Child	06/03	Insignia

Barge count 2021

barge	quantity
Insignia	1

Insignia (co-ownership is fun) The "famous" Sump oil pick up seal covered here - just in time I reckon

https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...

Although if it starts knocking in 500 miles it will have been just to late!!!

Insignia ... Barge...

Macron will throw a track.

[ferrisbueller]

CharlesdeGaulle said:

B'stard Child said:

tobinen said:

The first quarter of 2021 is done, here's the summary:

Barge Purchases 2021

Bargista	Forecourt/other pic	Barge
B'stard Child	06/03	Insignia

Barge count 2021

barge	quantity
Insignia	1

Insignia (co-ownership is fun) The "famous" Sump oil pick up seal covered here - just in time I reckon

https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...

Although if it starts knocking in 500 miles it will have been just to late!!!

Insignia ... Barge...

Macron will throw a track.

Diesel Insignia.......

Oh My

[LetsTryAgain]

ferrisbueller said:

Diesel Insignia.......

Oh My

Quite the opposite of a barge.

[anonymous-user]

An egrab?

[Derventio]

If my Superb isn't a barge, despite having electric, leather covered, heated everything, automatically shifting gears and being so large, the spare wheel in the boot is in a different postcode, then an Insignia is most definitely not a barge. I propound that it doesn't even reach the status of semibarge. Although some may argue the case for the V6 turbo powered Elite, perhaps.

[Phil Dicky]

Derventio said:

If my Superb isn't a barge, despite having electric, leather covered, heated everything, automatically shifting gears and being so large, the spare wheel in the boot is in a different postcode, then an Insignia is most definitely not a barge. I propound that it doesn't even reach the status of semibarge. Although some may argue the case for the V6 turbo powered Elite, perhaps.

A Superb is deffo a barge...only issue is the fuel it drinks.

[Derventio]

Phil Dicky said:

A Superb is deffo a barge...only issue is the fuel it drinks.

Sadly, not only does mine drink from the wrong pump, but the interior material quality is not quite as good as you'd hope for, certainly not in the case of my particular 2011 Elegance model. The overly .....jiggly ride due to the standard 18" wheels stops the ride being as wafty as you might expect in a barge, as well.

Don't get me wrong, it is a very, very good car in it's own right, though. The seats are comfortable and the ability to swallow most kitchen appliances whole, without even dropping the seats, makes it a very useful car. The level of kit is very good and the sound system is...er...superb. The engine isn't even that bad for a four pot heavy oiler. It is very economical with the mpg rarely dropping below 48 mpg and topping out at 77 mpg.

It just has a few things that just drop it out of the full blown barge category, in my opinion.

One thing it definitely does not have is that "Look Back Factor".

You know when you fill up and walk away to pay at the kiosk, or you lock a car up at the end of the day and you just have to take one last look back to admire your machine, well the Skoda doesn't have that. My CLK definitely had that look back factor, My ST250 had it, my e class's had it, my Triumph Bonneville has it in spades. The Skoda, sadly does not. It has taken up residence in my subconscious mind next to the washing machine, or the tools in my shed, if you see what I mean.

I will however be offering it up for sale on this very thread when I plan to sell it later this year as it makes a very good "Other Car", to go in the garage next to a bonafide barge.

[Phil Dicky]

Derventio said:

One thing it definitely does not have is that "Look Back Factor".

You know when you fill up and walk away to pay at the kiosk, or you lock a car up at the end of the day and you just have to take one last look back to admire your machine, well the Skoda doesn't have that. My CLK definitely had that look back factor, My ST250 had it, my e class's had it, my Triumph Bonneville has it in spades. The Skoda, sadly does not. It has taken up residence in my subconscious mind next to the washing machine, or the tools in my shed, if you see what I mean.

As car enthusiasts we need the look back factor to be present, otherwise, as you put it, we are driving white goods.

[Macron]

CharlesdeGaulle said:

Insignia ... Barge...

Macron will throw a track.

I’ve posted the 2.8 V6 4x4 before, and even the shouty one, the VXR when they were close to thread budget, mainly as I was surprised they were so cheap.

I mean they burn the right fuel, very inefficiently, have massive tax, wobble like fook, and are good value for money. Bar the plastic inside, and we all like (but don’t buy) the Honda Legend, what’s the difference? The badge, and we know thread is snobbish, the big H even sitting on the periphery.

This particular diesel is of course a step too far, but I read the thread and can see why it was bought.

[Derventio]

Macron said:

CharlesdeGaulle said:

Insignia ... Barge...

Macron will throw a track.

I’ve posted the 2.8 V6 4x4 before, and even the shouty one, the VXR when they were close to thread budget, mainly as I was surprised they were so cheap.

I mean they burn the right fuel, very inefficiently, have massive tax, wobble like fook, and are good value for money. Bar the plastic inside, and we all like (but don’t buy) the Honda Legend, what’s the difference? The badge, and we know thread is snobbish, the big H even sitting on the periphery.

This particular diesel is of course a step too far, but I read the thread and can see why it was bought.

I disagree with the statement about the badge. A Senator, Carlton or Omega is usually well received on these pages. Perceived image may well be relevant factor.

[B'stard Child]

Macron said:

CharlesdeGaulle said:

Insignia ... Barge...

Macron will throw a track.

I’ve posted the 2.8 V6 4x4 before, and even the shouty one, the VXR when they were close to thread budget, mainly as I was surprised they were so cheap.

I mean they burn the right fuel, very inefficiently, have massive tax, wobble like fook, and are good value for money. Bar the plastic inside, and we all like (but don’t buy) the Honda Legend, what’s the difference? The badge, and we know thread is snobbish, the big H even sitting on the periphery.

This particular diesel is of course a step too far, but I read the thread and can see why it was bought.

Even I know it's right on the edge of acceptability (The boot is in the same time zone and it hasn't even got a spare wheel FFS)

But it handles like a soggy barge - rolls like the General Belgrano

[bolidemichael]

Barges must have the essence of being owned and driven by yesterday's captains of industry.

[B'stard Child]

bolidemichael said:

Barges must have the essence of being owned and driven by yesterday's captains of industry.

That's probably because yesterday we had industry

[Derventio]

bolidemichael said:

Barges must have the essence of being owned and driven by yesterday's captains of industry.

This is where a "like" button would be useful.

I'd also like to point out that having to be filled from the black pump, does not necessarily preclude a car from barge membership. A W220 S320 Cdi fits in with thread mentality, as does a 300D or CLS 320. A BMW 5 or 7 series is usually well received on these pages and as long as it has six or more cylinders, nobody really minds if it is a heavy oiler. My CLK was definitely a barge and had that look back factor, despite being powered by a four cylinder diesel.

Sadly, as good as it is, A Skoda Superb is more likely to be the Taxi that a captain of industry orders, whilst his S500 is in for a service.

[olly755]

Derventio said:

I disagree with the statement about the badge. A Senator, Carlton or Omega is usually well received on these pages. Perceived image may well be relevant factor.

Funny how car enthusiasts can get hung up on the "right" badge, yet that god-awful Cayenne posted a couple of pages ago may say a lot more about you than any Insignia. And really not in a good way.

[Dapster]

I've never seen a D2 in "Pearlescent Cedar Green" before but this one looks in good order




https://www.autotrader.co.uk/car-details/202103250...

Not a dictionary definition barge in that it's small and Spanish, but has the "look back at it when you walk away" factor x 100. Awful set of pics - STAND FURTHER BACK!!!



https://www.autotrader.co.uk/car-details/202102128...

2 bags...



https://www.autotrader.co.uk/car-details/202011035...


Flat roofed pub majesty awaits you here. Strange MOT history - no mileage for a few years, then 1 year of 14,000 miles, then nothing for a few more years.



https://www.autotrader.co.uk/car-details/202103160...

And finally, once you sell the flat roofed pub and open your chain of tanning salons, this 170k miles and crumbling suspension XK will be what you need



https://www.autotrader.co.uk/car-details/202104261...

Edited by Dapster on Thursday 6th May 11:00

[21st Century Man]

bolidemichael said:

Barges must have the essence of being owned and driven by yesterday's captains of industry.

And at the very top, chauffeur driven too (taxi fodder not included).